Odaiba High School Host Club
by CelticMagic
Summary: After an encounter with a group of boys who call themselves the Ouran Host Club, Tai decides to make up his own host club. Matt wants nothing to do with it, but Izzy and Sora go along with it for kicks. Watch the chaos as Tai's antics gets everyone into sticky situations. Contains random couplings (including love triangles, hexagons, octagons) and in true Ouran style, mild yaoi.
1. Starting Today, We Are Hosts!

**Author's Note: Here's a shoutout to Jaime for creating the book cover for this story. He said it was awkward drawing TK and Davis and that he needs to start watching Digimon now...**

* * *

**Starting Today, We Are Hosts!**

It was Battle of the Bands at Ouran Academy and Matt's band was competing in the event. Tai and Izzy wandered around the large school, trying to find the auditorium. "Tai, don't you think it's time to give it up? The competition starts in five minutes and we just spent a half-hour walking around the school trying to figure out where we have to go," Izzy panted.

"Come on! I don't think a couple more minutes would hurt," Tai energetically ran up a flight of stairs.

"That's the problem. A few more minutes would hurt. I'm sorry that I'm not as athletic as you, but my calves are starting to feel like blocks of concrete," Izzy rubbed his sore leg.

"If that bothers you so much...," Tai ran down the flight of stairs and hoisted Izzy up on his shoulder. "I'll just pick you up!"

"Put me down! That's not what I meant! I can walk by myself!" Izzy kicked and bucked.

"No no no, my dearest buddy! I hate to see you complain, and as a good friend, it is my responsibility to make you happy," Tai smirked.

"Funny, you didn't seem to care when you read all my emails when I left the computer," Izzy slammed his fist against Tai's back.

"And boy, do I regret it! All of them were BORING. You made it seem like you were hiding something juicy. All you had was letters from Mimi, the Geek Squad, the A/V club, debate team, and the Mathematics Club. BORING...speaking of which, when are you gonna quit those dork-faced clubs? You're never gonna get chicks that way," Tai scoffed.

"I'm not trying to get girls. All of them, except for Sora and Kari, are total superficial dolts. And l like where I am. Hopefully they'll eventually elect me as club president," Izzy said.

"All I heard was superficial chicks and dork da-dork dork dork do-da-dork," Tai yawned.

"Thanks," Izzy said flatly.

"I'm just saying, is it worth it to ruin your social life? You've been in those clubs for weeks now, and you're still not president? Sorry to say this, but I don't think anyone's gonna replace Thomas with you, especially since he's a senior and you're just a junior," Tai shrugged.

"First of all, it's only been two weeks. Second of all, there are a lot of girls in A/V, Debate, and Math club," Izzy protested.

"It's probably because Thomas is the leader of all the dorkapotumus groups," Tai said.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Let's just agree to disagree. Can you put me down now?" Izzy groaned.

"Hello fellow commoners! Are you lost?" a tall blond boy walked over to Tai and Izzy. He was accompanied by two redheaded twins, a tall dark-haired boy with glasses, a cute little blond boy, a dark, tall, and handsome boy, and a short and scrawny feminine-looking boy.

"Common what?" Tai threw Izzy to the ground and advanced toward the boy.

"Oooh, I guess it's a universal thing. Commoners don't like to be called commoners," one twin said to the other.

"So commoners just like to deny the truth?" the other twin shrugged.

"Hey! You!" Tai yelled at the entourage. "Who do you guys think you are to be calling us commoners?!"

"Well, you are commoners, aren't you?" the taller blond boy asked him. He almost sounded oblivious to the fact that he insulted Tai.

"Stop it already!" the feminine-looking boy stood in between Tai and the blond boy.

"Isn't it adorable? Commoners defending other commoners...it's like a commoner's code or something," one of the twins cooed.

"Say commoner one more time!" Tai threatened.

"Commoner?" the little blond boy tilted his head in confusion.

"Gahhhh!" Tai lunged for the tall blond boy, but Izzy held him back. "What the hell, Iz? I was gonna beat the crap out if these jerks!"

"I'm so sorry. We didn't mean to offend you," the tall blond boy got down on one knee and reached for Tai's hand.

"Don't touch me, you conceited bastard!" Tai yanked his hand back.

"I'm sorry about him," the girly boy pushed the blond boy's head back. "Hi, I'm Haruhi."

"Uh...this is awkward," Izzy looked over at a fuming Tai. "My name's Izzy by the way," Izzy shook hands with Haruhi.

"My name is Mitsukuni Haninozuka, but I like to be called Honey for short. And this is Takashi Morinozuka, but I like to call him Mori-chan!" the little blond boy hugged the tall dark boy's leg and smiled at Tai and Izzy. The tall boy simply nodded his head. "He doesn't really talk much," Honey explained.

"I'm Kyoya Ootori, but something tells me you should know that already. The Ootori family prides itself on our influence on Japan. We run everything from pharmaceutical businesses to the police," the tall boy with the glasses coldly said.

"And we're the Hitachiin brothers!" the twins said in unison.

"I'm Hikaru!" one of the twins said.

"And I'm Kaoru!" the other twin said.

"Or maybe I'm Kaoru and he's Hikaru...," the twin smirked.

"But you'll never know, will ya?" the other twin flashed a devilish smile.

"Cut the crap, will you?" Haruhi bashed both twins in the head. "Just a tip: Hikaru parts his hair to the right and Kaoru parts his to the left."

"Good to know," Izzy nodded his head.

"Yeah, now that the intros are all out of the way, let's go!" Tai said grumpily.

"Excuse him," Izzy apologized to Haruhi. "_That's_ Tai..."

"Why did you say my name as if you're embarrassed to be with me?" Tai yelled at Izzy.

"Because I am. Your behavior is uncouth, if you ask me," Izzy replied, not fazed by Tai's anger.

"Wow, for such a commoner, you look like a fine man of distinguish and etiquette!" the tall blond boy gushed.

"And I apologize for him," Haruhi kicked the blond boy back. "_That_ is Tamaki...," she rolled her eyes.

"Why did you say my name as if I were some sort of annoyance?" Tamaki pouted.

"Because you are! I'm pretty sure these guys were on their way somewhere, but you had to stop them to call them commoners! You act as if we normal middle-class people belong in a zoo!" Haruhi scolded Tamaki.

"I do not!" Tamaki said defensively. "I just think you commoners are so fascinating!"

"Oh brother," Haruhi huffed.

"I can relate," Izzy glanced over at Tai.

"Hey! What do you mean by that?!" Tai and Tamaki shouted at the same time.

"It might be me, but I think these two are a lot alike," Haruhi said.

"I agree," Izzy nodded.

"I am nothing like him!" Tai and Tamaki yelled.

"You guys sound like you could be twins!" Honey said in a perky voice.

"Hey! We're getting downright insulted now! We're the only twins and it should stay that way!" Hikaru crossed his arms.

"Yeah, first Matt and now this guy?" Kaoru pouted.

"Wait...did you just say Matt?" Tai's jaw dropped.

"Yeah, why? Do you know him or something?" Hikaru asked.

"It can't be the same Matt, can it? He's a blond guy and he's supposed to be competing in some big band battle thing. That's the only reason we're here," Tai said.

"Are you talking about Matt Ishida? The Matt who has a younger brother named Takeru and is supposedly going out with a boy named Taichi Kamiya? Of course the last part could be considered speculation, since it hasn't been confirmed nor denied," Kyoya pushed up his glasses.

"WHAT?!" Tai growled.

"You are talking about my twin separated at birth, right?" Tamaki gasped.

"For the last time, you guys aren't twins!" Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi yelled.

"I guess that's true...I am a tad bit handsomer," Tamaki said in a dramatic tone.

"No you're not," Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi said in unison.

"Fine, I'll just mope in the corner now! You have no idea how tragic it is when you and your twin aren't equally as handsome!" Tamaki dragged himself to a dark corner in the hallway.

"You don't know how it feels like either boss, because you and Matt aren't twins," Hikaru and Kaoru droned.

"How do you guys know Matt?" Izzy asked Haruhi.

"I can answer that for you!" Tamaki sprung up from the corner and reached for Izzy's hand. "You see, we're the Ouran Host Club. We're just a modest group of handsome boys with too much time on our hands that like to entertain beautiful girls who also have too much free time on their hands! It's like a playground for the rich and famous!"

"Just get to how you know Matt or I'll kick your ass!" Tai gritted his teeth.

"Matt got lost inside the school and he encountered our headquarters. We initially got off on the wrong foot, but now we could consider him a friend," Kyoya casually tapped away at a PDA.

"He's our friend, not yours!" Tai yelled.

"Tai!" Izzy gave himself a facepalm. "We should get going before it gets even worse."

"I know what you mean. It's only a matter of time before these guys start misbehaving again," Haruhi shook her head at the twins and Tamaki.

"Ha hah! He said you guys misbehave!" Tai taunted.

"You have no right to talk," Izzy crossed his arms.

"I guess that makes us even now, doesn't it?" Tamaki sweeped his hair to the side and threw a flirtatious look at Tai.

"No, it doesn't make us even! I'll show you! I'm gonna start a host club of my own and my host club will kick your host club's ass!" Tai poked Tamaki in the chest.

"Tai! Stop being so hotheaded!" Izzy huffed.

"Exactly. A real gentleman does not express his anger by speaking so crudely," Tamaki said in a posh voice.

"What are you trying to say?!" Tai exploded.

"Look, I'm sorry but we should really get going. It was nice to meet you all," Izzy nodded to the Ouran boys.

"No it wasn't," Tai muttered.

"It was nice to meet you too," Haruhi said.

"I wish we could say the same for Tai," Tamaki sighed in pity.

"I'm sorry," Izzy said.

"Me too. Me too," Haruhi said.

"Great, we missed Matt's performance! And it's this bastard's fault! Just watch! My host club will cream your host club!" Tai shook his fist at Tamaki.

"Let's go," Izzy pulled Tai by the ear and dragged him down the hallway.

"I'm gonna show those pompous jerks! I don't know what a host club is, but I'm gonna make one and I'll show those rich kids whose host club is better! Which is our host club, by the way," Tai grumbled.

"Our?" Izzy stopped walking.

"Yeah, our! You can be my right-hand man!" Tai said.

"Let's just go find everyone else. You're starting to say all of this nonsense and I don't want to be the only one who has to deal with it," Izzy huffed as he continued to drag Tai down the hallway.

* * *

"Is he serious?" Matt dropped his spoon on the lunch tray.

"Unfortunately," Izzy groaned.

"Forming a host club will be easy business! I just need to find a pair of annoying twins, an adorable little kid, and a silent guy, a girly-looking guy, and I've already got a smart guy!" Tai patted Izzy on the back.

"You're gonna join Tai's little club?" Sora raised an eyebrow at Izzy.

"If he does, he can be our president," Tai looked at Izzy with puppy-dog eyes.

"Just one question. If I'm the smart guy and you need to find the twins, quiet guy, a feminine guy, and a cute kid, then what does that make you?" Izzy listed.

"The founder," Tai said.

"Sure, but what else would that make you? I'll give you a hint. It starts with a 'Tama' and ends with a 'ki'," Izzy smirked.

"I am nothing like that guy!" Tai yelled.

"Actually I wouldn't say that," Matt sipped at his milk carton.

"What?! Are you trying to piss me off?" Tai slammed his fist on his tray and accidently knocked it over. "Crap, I got mashed potatoes on my pants..."

"Just think about it. You and Tamaki both have leadership qualities, you guys can act overboard dramatic, and you guys can be very annoying at times," Matt said.

"If that's what you think...and you were so close to being in my host club," Tai pretended to wipe a tear off his cheek.

"And that's what I would call overboard dramatic," Matt laughed. "Also, I don't want to be in your host club."

"Why not? You could be the quiet, _handsome _guy. I'll give you the rest of my jello," Tai bribed.

"I don't want your jello. Besides, I think this whole host club idea is stupid. I like those guys and I'm not going to support your idiotic group just because Tamaki was just being himself," Matt took the jello from Tai's dropped tray and began to eat it.

"No no no no no! You can't eat my jello! You said you didn't want it anyway!" Tai tried to take his jello cup from Matt.

"It's called playing hard-to-get. Act like you don't care, and that's how you get what you want," Matt shrugged.

"Grrremmmhmph," Tai gritted his teeth.

"I gotta go now. Thanks for the jello!" Matt got up from his seat. He threw his jello cup across the room and it fell inside a garbage can. "He shoots, he scores! See you after school!"

"Tai, are you okay?" Sora giggled.

"I'll show him. I'll show Tamaki, I'll show everyone..." Tai grumbled.

"It's a good thing Izzy's gonna be the president. If you were the one running things around, the club wouldn't last five minutes," Sora shook her head.

"Since when did I agree to this?" Izzy was getting annoyed.

"Come on, Frizzy! This is your chance to be president of something," Tai pleaded. "There's no chance that you'll be president at any of the other clubs, not even the Spanish club...and those guys do nothing but go to Taco Bell everyday after school."

"He's got a point," Sora nodded.

"Thanks. I love your words of encouragement. You're the best friends a guy could ever ask for," Izzy flatly said.

"It's true though. Some Thomas guy's like the president of almost every club from chess team to the cooking club," Sora said.

"Like I said, thanks. I'm aware of that, no need to rub it in my face," Izzy put his head down on the table.

"That's why you should be the Odaiba Host Club President!" Tai said. "I would take the president position, but I think you would make a better one instead."

"Really?" Izzy picked his head back up and gave Tai a skeptical look.

"Yeah, of course...and then that means you'll support my idea," Tai grinned.

"Forget it," Izzy shook his head.

"Sora? Want to be part of my club?" Tai asked.

"Hmmm...," Sora tapped her chin.

"Please?" Tai begged.

"I don't know," Sora said.

"Pleeeease?" Tai got down on one knee and pouted. "Pretty please?"

"Okay, I'll check it out," Sora nodded.

"You will?" Tai gasped.

"Yeah! Besides, it would be fun to watch you screw up," Sora laughed.

"Then count me in too!" Izzy said.

"Awesome! Then meet me in Science Lab #3! I've got some recruiting to do!" Tai jumped up and dashed out of the cafeteria.

"How long do you think it'll take Tai to mess this up?" Sora asked Izzy.

"Hard to say," Izzy shrugged.


	2. The Job Of A High School Host!

**The Job of a High School Host**

"Didn't he tell us to meet him in Science Lab #3 right after school?" Sora looked at the clock.

"He did," Izzy impatiently tapped his foot.

"I wonder what's holding him up," Sora sat on a stool.

"With the school year starting, Tai better get his act straight if he wants this club to be established. Principal Sampson wants each club to have the club activity forms filled out by the end of this month," Izzy paced around the room.

"What for?" Sora asked.

"He has to approve the clubs before they can become official accredited extracurricular activities. There were a couple of times where people would make up the most absurd clubs just so that they could make their transcripts look good. There was the Slacker Club, the Donut & Bagel Alliance, the Fancy Cheeses Club, the Stoner Brick Club-"

"Okay, I get it," Sora shook her head. "But I think we definitely have a chance to be approved. At least we're going to be a productive club."

"If Tai bothers to show up...if he doesn't get here in-"

"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late! I was busy recruiting," Tai pushed a pair of twins inside the room.

"I don't want to be here," one of the twins said. He was wearing a bandana on his head and his hair was up in a ponytail.

"It'll be fun...I think," the other twin said. He had shorter and shaggier hair.

"Hi," Sora went up to them. "I'm Sora. Nice to meet you guys!"

"I'm Izzy," Izzy held his palm up to the boys and quickly dropped it back down.

"I'm Kouichi," the shaggy-haired twin slouched and blushed.

"How about you?" Sora asked the other twin.

"Look, broad. I don't even want to be here, but Porcupine Head forced us to," he jerked his thumb at Tai. "He was saying some crazy things about needing twins."

"Sorry about him. He can be a bit cranky," Kouichi apologized. "That's Koji."

"Tai...," Izzy groaned.

"What? I got my twins! That's pretty much our whole club. Now we're just waiting for someone else," Tai said.

"You can't just kidnap people and force them to join our club just because they're twins!" Sora yelled.

"What? It worked, didn't it?" Tai protested.

"You guys don't have to stay if you don't want to," Izzy said to the twins.

"Awesome," Koji shrugged. "I'll catch you later...well, that's a lie. Hopefully I really won't."

"But I want to stay," Kouichi said softly.

"You wanna stay with these freaks?" Koji scoffed.

"Hey!" Tai, Izzy, and Sora yelled in unison.

"Come on," Kouichi said. "Besides, you need to join a club if you want to be eligible for the Kendo Retreat this summer. None of the clubs want you around, and at least these guys do."

"Ugh...fine...," Koji huffed and walked over to the windows.

"Welcome to our club, which happens to be the...," Izzy paused. "Tai? What the hell should we call this scam of a club?"

"The Odaiba High School Host Club!" Tai said in a princely voice. "Hmm, I like that. Has a nice little ring to it, doesn't it?"

"I like it," Davis poked his head through the doorway.

"Hey guys! What are you doing hanging out here?" TK peeked into the room.

"Yeah, what are you guys up to?" Davis walked inside the lab.

"We're just forming the Odaiba High School Host Club," Tai puffed his chest out. "You guys wanna join? You guys have potential."

"Sure, why not?" TK shrugged.

"Sounds way better than joining the High School Musical Club," Davis shuddered.

"Now we're just waiting on one more person," Tai said.

As soon as he said that, a young boy with spiky brown hair and goggles walked inside the room. A redheaded girl about his age followed him in. "Hi! Sorry I'm late. For some reason, I couldn't find my way to this lab," the boy heaved.

"Takato! You're finally here! I was wondering when you'd show up!" Tai dashed over to the boy and hugged him. "And you...," he pointed to the girl. "I don't remember recruiting you. In fact, I don't remember seeing you around school."

"That's because she doesn't go here, Tai. She's wearing a uniform from another school," Izzy began to rub his temples.

"And good thing too. That Sailor Moon getup is ridiculous," the girl pointed to Sora.

"Thanks...," Sora frowned.

"Hi guys, this is Rika," Takato introduced everyone to the girl.

"I'm TK," TK said.

"And I'm Davis," Davis waved.

"Izzy," Izzy said.

"I'm Sora," Sora waved.

"I'm Kouichi," Kouichi said. "And the pissed off guy is Koji."

"I'm not pissed off!" Koji gritted his teeth.

"Yeah, we believe you...," Davis rolled his eyes.

"Let's get this meeting started. Hi everyone! I'm Tai Kamiya, the club founder," Tai said.

"We already know who you are," TK said.

"But nobody else does," Tai said.

"Yeah we do. You're the sick bastard who ambushed us," Koji said.

"Look, I don't care if you know me or not! I'm gonna introduce myself and my chairmen because it will sound more official. Like I was saying, I'm Tai Kamiya, the founder of the Odaiba Host Club. To the right of me is Mr. Koushirou Izumi. But call him Izzy for short because I like the name Izzy better than the name Koushirou. Don't you think it sounds better?" Tai gestured to Izzy.

"Tai? Izzy's to your left...," TK said.

"Why...are...we...here," Rika muttered.

"Anyway, Izzy is our club president. And to the other side of me is Sora Takenouchi. She will serve as the voice of reason when I don't listen to a word of Izzy says," Tai said.

"Nice...," Izzy groaned.

"Takato...," Rika huffed.

"So now let's get started! As our duties in the host club, we must...we must...what the hell does a host club do?" Tai made a face.

"You talk all of these things about making a host club and you don't have a clue of what a host club does?! For all we know, we could be pimping ourselves out for money!" Sora yelled.

"Like hookers?" Koji raised an eyebrow.

"Look what mess you dragged me into," Rika growled in Takato's ear.

"Well...," Takato blushed. "You didn't have to come?"

"Yes I did. After Henry told me, I knew it was my responsibility to babysit you. How do you always end up surrounded by stupid people? There's Kazu and Kenta, and now these goons?" Rika said.

"Uh Tai...I think Sora might be right," Izzy typed away at his laptop.

"Great, we're part of a prostitution ring!" Koji buried his face in his hands.

"We're gonna be the prettiest hookers out of all of you!" Davis put his arm around TK.

"We do have the total package! I'm blonde and beautiful!" TK winked.

"And I'm dark and handsome," Davis blew a kiss to Rika.

"I knew you guys had potential! You're just what this club needs!" Tai smiled.

"Goons...," Rika sighed.

"So how did we end up as hookers?" Takato gulped.

"We're not exactly hookers because we don't have to have sex with our customers," Izzy glazed over his computer screen.

"So we're only half-hookers? Awesome," Koji said sarcastically.

"According to the Wikipedia page, people go to host clubs and pay the hosts, which are us, to entertain and talk to them. They can decide which one of us they want to spend time with, and then we hang out with them for as long as the club is open," Izzy said.

"Great. So you're saying this is just a way for pathetic losers to pay for a date because they're too pathetic to get a real date?" Rika crossed her arms.

"That's what it sounds like," Kouichi said.

"That's just Wikipedia though," Sora pursed her lips. "Any other websites, Izzy?"

"If there were, then I wouldn't have to read the Wikipedia article," Izzy snapped. "The only other results that pop up has to do with the Ouran High School Host Club."

"I hate those guys...," Tai said through his teeth.

"So you're basically saying that people pay us to spend time with them?" Kouichi asked.

"Pretty much," Izzy said.

"Will there be any kissing involved?" Davis flashed a devilish smile.

"Only if you want to. One of the characteristics that distinguish a host club from prostitution is that in a host club, physical contact is not necessary. The hosts don't have to do anything past talking and flirting unless they want to," Izzy said.

"Flirting? I think I wanna quit," Takato looked sick.

"Someone's finally coming to their senses," Rika smirked.

"No! You don't have to flirt! Just be yourself!" Tai said. "I do that and girls just love me!"

"Yeah, the girls that don't know you," Sora said.

"Don't listen to her, young boy!" Tai said dramatically. "We all have special qualities. Qualities that we should share with the world!"

"Like what...?" Izzy crossed his arms and shot Tai an amused look.

"For example, I'm the hot, sexy, athletic, all-American stud of every girl's dream!"

"Tai, we live in Japan," Sora said.

"Or my man, Izzy!" Tai slapped Izzy on the back. "He's the awkward, smart...smart guy. Chicks dig that...I hope."

"Thanks," Izzy said flatly.

"Or Sora, she's like one of the guys!"

"Hold up a minute! Since when did I decide I want to be a host?" Sora yelled. "I'm only here to be your voice of reason!"

"And it's clearly working," Koji muttered sarcastically.

"Come on! What guy wouldn't want to be around a girl who's like one of the boys? They don't feel like they have to try hard to impress you," Tai said.

"So are you saying I have low standards?!" Sora gasped.

"I like where this is going," Izzy smirked.

"Ahhh! That's not what I-can we talk about this another time?!" Tai winced.

"I'm still not gonna let this go," Sora frowned.

"Now where were we?" Tai bit his lip.

"You were just telling us about how you don't think Sora has any standards," Rika said.

"Rika...," Takato nervously shook in his seat.

"I think we moved past that, but we'll get to your buddy Takato," Tai recomposed himself. "He's just so cute and awkward!"

"Thanks...?" Takato laughed nervously.

"See, that's what I'm talking about! His awkwardness is just so darn cute! No girl will be able to resist his boyish charm!" Tai gushed.

"Awesome...another awkward kid. So you're telling me that so far, we've got a dumb jock, a butch, a nerdy awkward kid, and a cute awkward kid? From what we heard, I'm pretty sure that a host club is supposed to _attract_ girls. You know you're starting off on the right foot when half the members of a host club are awkward. What next? Are me and Kouichi the token twins?" Koji said. "Or what about those two? Are they the bromantic fellows?" he jerked his thumb at TK and Davis. "And why is she here? Is she like a mini spinster?" he pointed to Rika.

"Hey hey hey! I was supposed to describe everyone! I am in charge of the club after all," Tai said.

"I thought I was," Izzy raised an eyebrow.

"You are...but you're more like the figurehead. Even though you're the president, I'm the one who calls the shots here. Just think of it like this: you're the Queen of England and I'm the Parliament," Tai said.

"So I'm the Queen of England?" Izzy gave Tai an amused look.

"Yeah!" Tai said, unfazed.

"Okay, then. Suit yourself," Izzy shrugged and sat down on a stool. "Go on."

"So what are we gonna do?" TK said. "Do you think that Principal Sampson will actually let us run this club?"

"Of course he will! We just gotta make this sound good. I call it the art of bullshitting, and I am the master expert," Tai grinned.

"I can believe that. You've done a good job of it so far," Koji smirked.

"Can you make it sound good on paper?" Izzy smirked.

"Sure... but we're not gonna write a book about it, so who cares?" Tai scoffed.

"No, we don't have to write a book, but _you'll_ have to fill out these forms," Izzy handed Tai a thick packet of paper.

"Nah, you're the president...," Tai shoved the packet back to Izzy.

"But you're the founder," Izzy pushed the papers back to Tai.

"Yeah. Tai should fill them out," Rika said.

"What are you up to?" Takato whispered.

"If Tai fills out the paperwork, there is no way in hell your principal will approve it and then we all get to go home," Rika said.

"I like that idea," Koji overheard her. "Yeah Tai! You should fill it out," he said loud enough for Tai to hear.

"Sounds like everyone wants you to handle this," Sora giggled.

"Ugh...fine. I see my right-hand man is useless," Tai shook his head. "Who has a pen?"

"Here," Davis handed Tai a pink glittery pen.

"Isn't that Kari's?" TK raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, and she let me borrow it. It even has her smell on it," Davis had a goofy smile on his face.

"You're so obsessed," TK laughed.

"I wanna get out of here...," Rika groaned. "I don't even go to this school."

"Okay, as president of the Host Club, I declare this meeting over," Izzy said. "Come back here tomorrow at the same time so we can discuss more about the club."

"Finally. Let's get out of here," Koji pulled his brother out of the room.

"NO! I get to say whether the meeting is over or not!" Tai slammed his fist against the table. Koji and Kouichi stood by the doorway.

"Can we leave? I think we've covered the basics. We'll talk about the details tomorrow," Sora said.

"Okay," Tai whined. "Today's meeting is over so I expect all of you guys to be here the next day so we can see where we'll go from here."

"Izzy said it better," Davis whispered in TK's ear.

"Now can we go?" Koji tapped his foot.

"Yes, just go! But I better see you tomorrow!" Tai wagged his finger at the twins.

"I can't believe this. Thank Henry for me," Rika dragged Takato to the door.

"Why?" Takato asked.

"Thank him for giving me a good excuse to kick your ass," Rika went behind Takato and kicked him in the bum.

"Aww, aren't they so cute?" Sora said when Takato and Rika were out of earshot.

"That's why I invited them to the host club," Tai said dreamily. "I do know what I'm doing."

"Good! So that means you'll have an easy time filling out the paperwork. See you tomorrow," Izzy patted Tai on the shoulder.

"Don't go!" Tai yelled. "I need yooouuu!"

"Speaking of going, I should leave too," Sora looked at her wrist. "I'm gonna be late for the...," she mumbled something unintelligible.

"You're not even wearing a watch. Just go," Tai shooed her away.

"I'd like to stay but I wanna catch a bit of the cheerleading practicing before it's over," Davis grinned.

"Obsessed...," TK smirked.

"Watch over gogglehead for me, TK. I don't want him harassing my baby sister," Tai crossed his arms.

"I would, but I'm gonna catch a ride with Matt. Good luck," TK waved at Tai.

"Yeah! Good luck!" Davis said rapidly and dashed out.

"I'm gonna need all of it...," Tai dumped the thick packets on top of a lab table and slumped over it.


	3. Beware Of The Principal's Exam!

**Beware of the Principal's Exam**

"Pssst...," Tai hissed in Izzy's direction. Izzy didn't seem to hear him, so Tai tried to get his attention again. "Psst...psssst...PSST!"

"What?!" Izzy turned to face Tai.

"I just put flyers up around the school. Today's the grand opening of the new Host Club," Tai grinned.

"Tai!" Izzy whisper-yelled. "We can't have a grand opening! We didn't cover the basics of a host club! We don't even know if everyone's gonna show up! How could you be so irresponsible?!"

"At least we know TK and Davis are gonna be there...," Tai trailed off.

"Yeah, but what about Takato or the twins? If that girl has her way, Takato won't be coming at all," Izzy said.

"I didn't think of that...," Tai sheepishly began biting at his nails.

"You're so impulsive!" Izzy growled. "Did you at least fill out the paperwork?"

"Psh! Of course I did! What do you take me for? An idiot?" Tai scoffed.

"Yes. Yes I do," Izzy shook his head and sighed.

"Boys! Is there something you want to say about the American Civil War?" the teacher asked.

"It's stupid. How can a country fight against itself?" Tai shrugged. Izzy just groaned.

"You can find out for yourself when you hand in a 1000-word paper describing what events lead up to the Civil War. I expect it by this Friday," the teacher sternly looked at Tai. "That goes for you too, Mr. Izumi. Anybody else care to do this assignment?"

All of the other students rapidly shook their heads no.

"Thanks a lot Tai. Thanks a lot," Izzy huffed. When the teacher turned his back, Izzy crumpled a sheet of paper into a ball and threw it at Tai's head. A couple of girls in the back started to giggle.

"Whaddya do that for, you jerk?!" Tai mouthed. Izzy threw another paper ball and it flew inside Tai's mouth. "Mmph merk...," Tai said, muffled by the paper ball.

* * *

"So you guys are going public with the club?" Matt took a bite from an apple.

"Unfortunately," Izzy groaned and put his head down on the table.

"Hmph," Matt snorted in amusement.

"Hey! You act like something's gonna go wrong!" Tai said defensively.

"Well...it's pretty much expected," Matt shrugged.

"TAAAAI!"

"Sora!" Tai turned his seat back to face Sora.

"Did you put up flyers for the club?" Sora fumed.

"This has to be good," Matt smirked.

"Yeah," Tai looked at her as if she were stupid. "Don't you like them?"

"Do I like them?! Look at this!" Sora slammed a bright pink piece of paper down on the lunch table.

"Lemme see," Matt grabbed it and immediately cracked up.

"Oh god. Do I really wanna know?" Izzy picked his head up.

"Here. Lookit," Matt slid the paper over to Izzy.

"That's right! '_Meet us in Science Lab #3 For The Grand Opening Of The Odaiba High School Hos Club!_'" Sora yelled.

"Isn't that what they call the cheerleading squad?" Matt had a devilish smile on his face.

"Izzy! You were supposed to proofread this! You're the freakin' president!" Tai poked at the flyer multiple times.

"Funny. Didn't you say I was just a figurehead?" Izzy smirked.

"You did say that. You called him the Queen of England," Sora nodded.

"Wha...man, I missed out," Matt struggled to hold his laughter. "Maybe I'll drop by later."

"This isn't funny!" Tai pounded his fist on the table.

"What? It looks like you're off to a good start," Matt jeered. "Considering it's you."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Tai jumped up and stood on his chair.

"You always manage to make things interesting," Matt nonchalantly picked up his tray and got up from the table. "I'll catch up with you guys later."

"That jerkface!" Tai growled.

"Calm down," Sora gently eased Tai back into his chair. "So the flyers didn't turn out that great, but at least it will catch people's attention."

"Speaking of attention, did you consider the fact that Principal Sampson would walk past those posters? We could be in hot water for spreading 'profanity' around the school," Izzy said.

"I think Principal Sampson will be understanding. It was just an innocent typo," Sora shrugged. "With Tai's paperwork to back us up, he'll see it was a little mistake. Right Tai?" Sora rubbed Tai's shoulders.

"About that...," Tai brushed his finger against the bottom of his nose. "I just made scribbles everywhere so it looked like I filled out the form, but my handwriting was too messy."

"Tai!" Sora stopped massaging Tai and kicked him on the back.

"Oh Jesus," Izzy put his head down on the table.

"I was hoping it'll buy us some time. There were all of these questions like 'What is the purpose of this club?', 'How will this club be a positive influence in the school and the surrounding community?', 'Will this club have any fundraiser opportunities? If so, list what activities the club plans to do and where it plans to distribute these funds to?', and stupid crap like that. I'm no guru, how am I supposed to answer all of these questions? We barely set up our club!" Tai shrieked.

"And you wanted to open the club today," Izzy pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Tai...," Sora groaned.

"Okay, okay! I'll just ask everyone to meet up 15 minutes earlier so we can prepare a battle plan," Tai said.

"Will this battle plan include all of us ganging up on you and killing you?" Izzy huffed.

* * *

"Thank all of you for showing up. Especially Ruki and Koji," Tai said.

"The name's Rika," Rika growled.

"Anyhoo, it has come to my attention that the Host Club will open its doors to the public in T-minus 15 minutes," Tai said.

"Didn't you set up the date?" Rika crossed her arms.

"That's not the point! The important thing is that we have to be prepared before people start coming in. Look at what I made!" Tai pulled out a pink binder. "I like to call a menu!"

"So we're opening a restaurant? Makes more sense now," Kouichi nodded.

"No, it's a menu of people!" Tai said.

"You sure like to put the 'ho' in 'host'," Koji took a flyer out of his pocket and shook it in the air.

"Shut up!" Tai narrowed his eyes at Koji. "All of you! Just shut up and listen! This menu has all our profiles inside. Each one of us gets our own page, see?" Tai passed the binder to Sora.

"Rika's favorite hobbies include: scaring babies, playing Digimon cards, playing poker, and just playing any card game in general (except YuGiOh and Pokemon). Rika's favorite music is heavy metal, but she's not opposed to listening to post-punk hardcore," Sora read from Rika's profile page. "How did you get this information?"

"Yeah. How. Did. You?" Rika spoke slowly.

"I asked Takato and Kouichi to fill in the information for you and Koji, because I know that if I asked you guys directly, you would never do it," Tai said. "Now, when our customers come in, we charge them a $5 entrance fee. From there, they will flip through our profiles and pick whichever one of us they want to spend time with. Keep in mind, Koji and Kouichi will be sold as a bundle," Tai said.

"Is it because we're twins?" Kouichi asked.

"No, it's more like we're scared of Koji catering to girls by himself so we need someone trustworthy to supervise him," Tai said. "Davis, TK. You guys can be available as individuals and a bundle."

"Aw right!" Davis high-fived TK.

"Sora, Rika. You girls can cater to any male clientele and girls who just wanna talk to someone about girly things," Tai pointed at the girls with a pencil.

"But I don't want to do this," Rika scowled.

"Even if I say you'll get paid for it?" Tai smiled.

"Yeah! You could buy all of the Digimon cards you want," Takato said.

"I already can. My mom's a famous model. Don't think I'll be impressed by your chump change," Rika scoffed.

"Look, we can all benefit from this! Not only will we get to know our schoolmates better, but we can also earn some extra money!" Tai said.

"There's nothing wrong with that, right?" Kouichi asked.

"Exactly!" Tai snapped his fingers.

"How much money are we talkin'?" Davis asked.

"Well...I plan to buy some snacks and whatever to make this club fun, so we should keep around 20% of the money we earn for ourselves. It's like commission! The more clients one of us attracts, the more we get paid. That should motivate all of us to get as many people as we can, and to be more pleasant toward them if we want them to come back."

"I'm not sure about this," Sora hummed.

"Come on! What could possibly go wrong?" Tai said.

"Need I remind you of the flyers you plastered on every wall?" Izzy crossed his arms.

"Oh, yeah. We're hos," Koji waved his flyer up in the air.

"Shut up!" Tai whined. "Let's just get our game face on! Today's really important because we have to make a good first impression! If the students are happy, then chances are the principal will be happy and let our club become legit."

"Okay...," Izzy raised an eyebrow. "Ready for showtime?"

"Wait!" Tai ran over to Takato. "I need your goggles," he took them off Takato's head.

"Hey!" Takato whined.

"Davis, you too!" Tai ripped Davis's goggles out of Davis's head.

"Are you kidding me?!" Davis patted the top of his head. "I feel naked."

"Me too," Takato had a sad look on his face.

"I'm sorry, but we need to get rid of the headgear if we want to look 'presentable', especially TK," Tai said.

"What?" TK's jaw dropped.

"That old man has to go," Tai took TK's hat and threw it across the room.

"Tai!" Sora caught the hat. "This is a science lab! You have to be careful of where you throw things!"

"Right," Tai blushed.

"Hey! Get your hands off of me!" Koji barked.

"No! No bandana!" Tai struggled to unknot the bandana on Koji's head.

"You're gonna rip it!" Koji growled.

"Then take it off!" Tai pulled at the bandana.

"Fine. Just get your hands off me," Koji huffed. He took his bandana off and handed it to Tai. "Faggot," he muttered.

"What did you say?" Tai looked at him.

"Nothing. You wouldn't get it," Koji shook his head.

"Okay then," Tai gave him a skeptical look and put his bandana inside a cabinet. "Alright, I bought some veggie platters, so I'm gonna set them out."

"Why veggie platters?" Kouichi asked. "How about pop tarts?"

"Not a bad idea! I just thought that girls would be crazy about veggie platters because they always want to be on diets and whatever," Tai explained.

"That's such a stereotype! Not every girl cares about losing weight!" Sora yelled. "Do you see me or Kari obsessing over going on diets?"

"No...," Tai laughed nervously. "But you guys are different from all of the other girls. You guys aren't crazy...well, as crazy as the other girls."

"Tai, just get the platters out," Izzy paced around the room, rubbing his temples.

"Okay," Tai said.

"OH MY GOD!" Sora yelled.

"What?" Tai placed a veggie platter on a table.

"Did you just put those platters inside that fridge?" Sora asked.

"Yeah, why? I needed to keep these things fresh," Tai looked confused.

"Inside the same fridge that Mr. Holstrom puts all of the dead frogs and pig hearts?" Sora shrieked.

"Well, there isn't another fridge around. Besides, no one else will know," Tai shrugged.

"That's just gross," Rika snickered.

"Come on! We're Japanese! We eat a bunch of weird stuff!" Tai waved his arms in the air.

"I'm not eating that," Takato shook his head.

"I don't care if you eat it. As long as you don't tell our customers, this food won't go to waste," Tai said.

"I'm starting to think this club is corrupt. We're 'entertaining' people and now we're lying to them by feeding them food straight out of a mini-morgue?" Kouichi rubbed his chin.

"Don't think of it like that! Think of it as we're just humble people who want to provide a happy environment to others!" Tai smiled.

"Everyone, just act like his words aren't bullcrap," Izzy sighed. "There's no turning back now. We've already gone too far enough to establish this scam club."

"He's right," Sora shook her head. "Are we ready?"

"Now we are," Tai opened the door.

"Hey guys," Matt stood in the doorway. "May I have the honor of being the first customer?"

"Possibly. Do you have five dollars?" Tai asked.

"Yeah. I didn't want to be unprepared," Matt pulled out a $5 bill out of his pocket. "Now what do I do?"

"I compiled a menu of hosts that you can choose to spend time with," Tai handed him the pink binder.

"Hmm...," Matt flipped through the pages.

"Uh, Tai! Quick question," Takato raised his hand.

"What is it?" Tai turned to face him.

"Is it against the rules if a guy requests a guy?" Takato asked.

"It should be," Koji said.

"But it's not," Tai said. "If a guy wants to pick a guy, then he can. Girls can choose to hang out with Sora and Rika, so guys should be able to hang out with a guy."

"Why do I end up hating this club even more with every word that comes out of Tai's mouth?" Koji gritted his teeth.

"Come on, it's not going to be that bad," Kouichi tried to console him. "If I had to do a ballpark number, I would say only 5% of the guys in our school are gay."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better? That 5% could be 100% of our customers!" Koji snapped.

"Matt, anything that catches your eye?" Tai looked over Matt's shoulder.

"I'll go with Sora."

"Sora, you've got your first request!" Izzy waved her over to Matt.

"Hey Matt!" Sora reached for Matt's hand. "Here, we can sit over here," she pulled him to the other side of the room.

"Tai, what's wrong?" Izzy had a smirk on his face.

"Nothing," Tai pouted.

"Nothing? If you say so," Izzy shrugged and began to walk away.

"No," Tai tugged Izzy's blazer and shoved him against a wall. "I made this club up so I could get closer to Sora...and to prove to those rich kids that my club will be better than theirs! But I also wanted to spend more time with Sora."

"You should consider yourself lucky. Not many girls would stick around in a club like this," Izzy said, facing the side.

"But did you see how she looked at Matt? Like how fat girls look at pumpkin pie?!" Tai pinned Izzy harder against the wall. "Matt's the pumpkin pie and Sora's the fat girl! Wait...that doesn't sound right, but you get what I mean!"

"I wish you used a better comparison," Izzy grimaced. "But I understand, I guess. Look, you're probably just overanalyzing things! Maybe Sora acted like that because Matt's the first normal guy she's seen."

"I guess you're right...," Tai let go of Izzy. "I'm just frustrated."

"Don't think about it. Just see that everything is in place. I'll take care of the entrance," Izzy sighed.

"I'm glad that you're my little president," Tai hugged Izzy and patted his head. "I love you so much!"

"Awww, how cute!" a couple of girls swooned.

"I love bromances...they're just so...cute," one girl said breathlessly.

"I wish you guys were gay, you would make a cute couple," another girl gushed.

"Let go of me," Izzy said through the side of his mouth.

"No problem. I'm gonna check on the veggie platters," Tai dashed off to Matt and Sora.

"Hi ladies. Welcome to the...," Izzy scratched the back of his head, struggling to remember the name of the club. "Welcome to the Odaiba High School Host Club."

"Yay! Wait...how does a host club work?" one girl said.

"You girls pay an entry fee of $5. From there, I'll bring you a book that has profiles of all of the hosts we offer in this club. You girls can choose which host you want to hang out with," Izzy explained.

"That's great!" one of the girls squealed. "Too bad I can't decide who I want..."

"The blond guy's pretty cute," another of the girls tapped her chin.

"Or the tan guy with the big hair," another girl piped.

"You mean Davis? I think he's the captain of the JV Soccer."

"Good news for you girls. You don't have to decide between TK and Davis," Izzy raised an eyebrow.

"Did you say our names?" Davis rested his arm on Izzy's shoulder.

"I believe he did," TK put his arm against Izzy's other shoulder.

"TK, Davis. These girls want you to be their hosts," Izzy said.

"We'd love to," TK took one of the girls by her hand.

"We're honored to be your hosts, especially with girls as pretty as you," Davis put his arms around the the other girls.

"This club is bullshit in so many ways," Izzy sighed.

"I'm with you on this," Koji smirked.

"Shouldn't you be with Kouichi?" Izzy asked him.

"He is," Kouichi popped out from behind a lab table. "I just dropped my lucky keychain," he dangled the tchotchke in the air before he clipped it back on to his belt loop.

"Yeah...I'm gonna check on Tai," Izzy walked over to Sora and Matt.

"Here, have some celery," Tai held the platter up to Matt. "It tastes really good with the ranch." Izzy was amused, watching as Sora shot Tai some warning glares.

"Thanks. I was pretty hungry," Matt chewed on some raw broccoli. Tai quietly chuckled and Matt stopped mid-bite. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Sora said coldly, giving Tai a dirty look.

"Tai, can I talk to you for a second?" Izzy motioned him over.

"What's up?" Tai asked.

"Knock it off. You're being so immature. You're really making a big deal about the fact that Matt's eating food that came out of the same fridge as the dead frogs. Didn't you just say a couple of minutes ago that eating the platters wasn't weird?" Izzy crossed his arms.

"Yeah, but...it's funny! Matt's eating dead-animal-contaminated veggies," Tai tried to hold in his laughter.

"Oh Jesus," Izzy gave himself a facepalm. "It feels like I'm the one who's gotta run things around here."

"Because you are," Tai patted Izzy on the back. "You're promoted to Super President!"

"What the hell does that even mean?"

"The Super President gets to keep track of the paperwork, finances, and keeping this organization standing!" Tai beamed.

"Then what do you do?" Izzy raised an eyebrow.

"I'll come up with the creative ideas and image for our club! We're a perfect combo! You take care of the rules and whatever and I'm like the image director!" Tai said.

"I figured. I'll be by the doorway," Izzy jerked his thumb toward the door.

* * *

_Fifteen Minutes Later..._

Izzy was busy helping match the customers up with their compatible hosts (or hostesses in Sora and Rika's cases). Izzy reluctantly looked to see how Koji and Kouichi were doing, only to breathe a sigh of relief. Surprisingly, a lot of the girls loved Koji. Even more shocking, Koji didn't act like a jerk or say any snide remarks. Izzy glanced over at Rika, where she was playing Go Fish with a couple of boys and appeared to be winning. A lot of girls were gushing over Takato, pinching his cheeks and petting his hair. TK and Davis were a huge hit, playing up their bromantic relationship. Matt and Sora were chatting away, as if they were the only two people in the room. The only ones who didn't have any clients were Izzy and Tai.

"This cuts my self esteem. No girls have requested me," Tai pouted.

"You're complaining to the wrong guy. You'll eventually get used to it," Izzy shrugged.

"Thanks, I feel soooo much better," Tai groaned.

"Well I don't think so. Step aside, gentlemen."

"Principal Sampson!" Tai gasped. "What are you doing here?"

"I decided to stop by and see what this host club was about," Principal Sampson adjusted his dark sunglasses. "I tried reading the paperwork that you handed in, but it's completely illegible."

"That's just the way I write," Tai laughed nervously.

"Hmmm," Principal Sampson looked at Tai and began to walk around the science lab.

"Crap crap crap!" Tai frantically slapped Izzy in the arm multiple times. "He wasn't supposed to come here! What are we gonna do?"

"You're going to relax. He probably isn't going to thoroughly inspect our club. We're at an early stage right now," Izzy said.

"You think?" Tai squeaked.

"No! Of course he's going to check out every little angle! We're a brand new club, and we don't have any specific motives. Being a host club is suspicious enough, but if he finds out you created this club simply out of spite, this operation's gonna be shut down," Izzy grunted.

"Why do you have to be so realistic?" Tai put his head on Izzy's shoulder.

"Get off," Izzy shook Tai away. "I'll talk to him and see where it goes from there," Izzy grabbed a clipboard.

"Yeah, go take care of this!" Tai pushed Izzy toward the principal.

"Why does it seem like I always have to clean up your messes?" Izzy said, irritated.

"Hey Porcupine Head! Maybe this club is better than I thought it would be," Rika nudged Tai.

"Am I hearing you right?" Tai gave Rika a look.

"Yeah. First of all, you look like you're gonna crap yourself any minute now. It probably has to do with your principal's examination," Rika commented.

"I don't want to think about it," Tai whined.

"You know what? No matter what happens, it will turn out fine in the end," Rika said.

"Really?" Tai was surprised at Rika's words.

"Yeah. If the principal destroys our club, then that's fine with me. If he lets this club keep running, that's also fine with me. I'm flooring these guys!" Rika pulled out a wad of cash.

"I thought you didn't like chump change," Tai said.

"I didn't say anything about petty cash," Rika sniffed her cash and walked away.

"We're only in our beginning phase, so we're still working out all of the details," Izzy walked Principal Sampson to the door.

"Okay," Principal Sampson nodded. "Mr. Kamiya?"

"Yes?" Tai's voice squeaked.

"This club is on probation right now. I will allow you boys to continue running this club. I'm also going to extend the deadline for the paperwork, so I expect it in my office in a month, and not a day later. If I like what I read, I will approve your club. That doesn't mean I'm letting you guys off the hook though. If I hear _any_ valid complaints about your club, and I mean _any_, don't be surprised if I do a thorough investagtion and possibly shut this club down. Understood?" Principal Sampson stated.

"Yes sir," Tai shook.

"Thank you for giving us an extension," Izzy bowed to the principal.

"Just remember. I want the paperwork done in one month," Principal Sampson said before he walked out the door.

"Phew," Tai sighed. "That was a close one! You're so beautiful, Izzy! The beautifulest! Thanks to you, we can make this club into something out of this world!"

"Oh brother," Izzy shook his head.

"Just imagine all of the crazy antics that we'll have this year!" Tai spun around the room. "Isn't it great that we're just beginning?"

"What did I just do?" Izzy groaned.


	4. Attack Of The Lady Manager!

**Attack of the Lady Manager!**

"_Don't miss out on all of the steamy drama on next week's episode of 99210_!"

"He's soooo cute..."

"Mimi!"

"Coming," Mimi put her bowl of popcorn on the couch and dashed over to the kitchen. "What's up?"

"We were just thinking...," Mrs. Tachikawa stirred her spoon inside her cup.

"We're planning to go to Japan on vacation," Mr. Tachikawa smiled.

"Really?" Mimi squealed. "That's great! I can finally do what I've been wanting to do for the longest time ever!"

"What do you plan on doing?" Mrs. Tachikawa asked.

"I'm going to...," Mimi slammed an issue of Tiger Beat on the small kitchen table. "Marry him!"

"Huh," Mr. Tachikawa adjusted his glasses to look at the magazine.

"Okay then. Let's book the plane reservations for next month," Mrs. Tachikawa rubbed her husband's arm.

"Next month? That's totally unnecessary! I already have my plane ticket and my bags packed! Well, I have to go now! Don't wanna be late for my flight!" Mimi pulled several suitcases out of her room and ran out of her apartment.

"How did she get money for a plane ticket?" Mr. Tachikawa pondered.

* * *

"So, it seems like we've been doing pretty well for the first week. If we look at the numbers...," Tai flipped through a binder.

"You don't even know what you're reading," Izzy huffed.

"Yes I do!" Tai yelled.

"Then why is the book upside down?" Rika smirked.

"Uh...," Tai blushed.

"Give me," Izzy snatched the binder from Tai's hand. "After calculating our earnings for the first week, I am glad to s-"

_*BOOM*_

"Ahhh!" everyone screamed.

"Izzy!" Mimi ran over to Izzy and tackled him.

"Whoaaaa!" Izzy stumbled back. Mimi jumped on top of him and passionately kissed him.

"Isn't she supposed to pay for that?" Takato asked.

"I don't think she's even allowed to do that," Kouichi said.

"Uh, welcome back Mimi," Izzy awkwardly said.

"Yeah, it's good to see you again," Sora hugged Mimi.

"What are you doing here?" Davis asked.

"And who are you?" Rika asked.

"Everyone, this is Mimi. She's one of our longtime friends," TK said.

"And Izzy's fiancée!" Mimi squealed.

"You're engaged?" Kouichi gasped.

"What?!" Tai shrieked. "Since when?! Have you been keeping this a secret from me?! I thought we were friends!"

"Is Daddy upset that Mommy kept a secret from him?" Koji smirked.

"You better not be referring me and Tai as Mommy and Daddy," Izzy shot Koji a look.

"Oh Izzy! I just had to come back here as soon as possible! I knew we were meant to be after you got into a nasty fight with a Mexican motorcycle gang," Mimi nuzzled up against Izzy's arm.

"You got in a fight with a motorcycle gang?" Takato asked.

"That's badass," Kouichi said.

"I think I might have some respect for you now," Rika said.

"I did NOT fight against a group of bikers," Izzy corrected.

"Respect lost," Rika said.

"He's just being modest! Even though he got beaten up pretty badly, that didn't stop him from trying to protect his little sister! Such a gentleman!" Mimi sighed. "Oh, and that one time Izzy got arrested by the cops for starting an underground casino!"

"Why did you keep all of this from me? I'm your best friend," Tai weeper in the corner.

"Even though he acts like he wants to be alone, on the inside he's a sweet guy who just wants to be loved! He's soooo romantic! I just can't wait for the day that you'll be knocking at my bedroom window and whisper sweet nothings in my ear!" Mimi wrapped her arms around Izzy's neck.

"Sorry to break it to you, but I don't have a little sister and I'm not the romantic type. And we are NOT engaged!" Izzy shook Mimi off.

"Hey, I wouldn't be arguing if I were you. You should consider yourself lucky that a hot broad like her thinks she's engaged to someone like you," Koji said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Izzy was offended.

"Mimi, what are you talking about? You're starting scare us," Sora grabbed Mimi by the hand.

"Hello! Me and Izzy, we're like soulmates!" Mimi gushed. "It's like a tragic live story, separated by oceans, but our love never fades away!" she said dramatically.

"Riiight," Tai made a face.

"You have a nice imagination...," Izzy looked scared. "But you must be confusing me with someone else."

"I can't be! You're the real life Jeremiah Hirschmanwitz!" Mimi smiled.

"Wha...?" Kouichi's jaw dropped.

"Jeremiah Hirschmanwitz, portrayed by American actor Asher Cohen, is one of the main protagonists in the popular teen drama, 99210. Jeremiah, a rebellious and troubled young boy, grew up in a family with a strong Jewish background. Jeremiah struggles with a gambling problem that causes him to owe Eduardo Flores, leader of a Mexican motorcycle gang, a substantial amount of money. Trying to avoid paying his debt, Jeremiah ran away from home and settled into a trendy, metropolitan town ten minutes away. Flores makes it his mission to track Jeremiah down and kill him. In an attempt to lure Jeremiah back to his hometown, Flores forces Jeremiah's little sister, Allie Hirschmanwitz, to send Jeremiah an email begging him to come home. Jeremiah rushes over, only to witness his family getting shot in the head by Flores and his gang-," Sora read from a Wikipedia page.

"What the hell? What kind of TV do you watch?" Davis raised an eyebrow at Mimi.

"I see what's going on now! Mimi's deluded herself into thinking Izzy is the Jeremiah character on TV. Look at this. The actor is like the spitting image of Izzy," Sora turned the computer around to show everyone.

"Holy crap! You guys look like you should be twins!" Davis exclaimed.

"Hey! Maybe you should go to America and walk around pretending to be that guy! You could totally mess with people's heads!" TK gasped.

"What are you guys doing here anyways? I heard that you guys are running a club down here. They didn't say what kind of club it was, but I bet you guys are running a meth lab," Mimi cooed.

"What's meth?" Takato asked.

"Nothing. Ignore her," Rika said.

"No Mimi! We're running a host club," Tai firmly said.

"That's right! And Izzy's the president," TK proudly grinned.

"The president? I'm not surprised that you would be the leader of this club! You just have leadership qualities!" Mimi said breathily.

"I'm the host club leader!" Tai thrusted his thumb against his chest. "I'm the one who came up with this idea! I'm the founder of the club!"

"I want to be a part of this club too!" Mimi ignored Tai. "I'm gonna be the manager of the host club! That way me and Izzy can work side by side!"

"Uh, Sora?" Kouichi said.

"Just drop it. Mimi's probably just jetlagged. I know her pretty well. She's just going through a phase," Sora shook her head. "She'll eventually stop acting this silly...I hope."

"I'm so excited to work with you guys! Eeeeeee!" Mimi squeaked and dashed out of the room.

"Uhhh... I'm scared," Takato said.

"I think we all are," Izzy loosened up his tie and gulped.

* * *

"You know what? Maybe having Mimi as our manager isn't such a bad idea," Tai said.

"You don't?" Sora stopped chewing.

"No! Mimi probably has a lot of ideas that can help bring in more clients," Tai said.

"I think we're fine on our own," Izzy said coldly.

"Come on! Just think about it. Mimi is a pretty girl, and if other pretty girls see her hanging out with us, then they'll want to come to the club too!" Tai said.

"I guess that makes sense," Sora said.

"And if she were manager, she would lighten up the load, so that Izzy doesn't have to do as much work," Tai explained.

"I don't need her help. I think we're fine as it is," Izzy groaned.

"That's just your fear talking! Who cares if she harasses you? Take one for the team," Tai rubbed Izzy's shoulders.

"You don't understand! She managaed to get herself into all of my classes, including AP Calculus, and she somehow got to take the seats next to mine. She's always trying to touch me in certain places when the teacher isn't looking and she passes me little notes all the time! These are just from today," Izzy opened up his briefcase and a bunch of pink paper fell out.

"Whoa...," Sora picked up one of the little notes and made a face. "I think Izzy's right. I don't think that she's in the right mindset to be helping the club out."

"Come on, you guys! Izzy, do you know how many guys would love to be in your position right now? Sure, they would get hard all of the time, but they wouldn't mind getting cold showers now! You would be helping us and saving money on energy bills!" Tai said.

"That's not funny," Izzy grunted.

"This isn't a laughing matter. If it weren't a big deal, we wouldn't be hiding from Mimi by eating lunch inside the gym equipment room," Sora said. "It smells like dirty socks and rubber in here."

"You guys just don't understand," Tai shook his head.

_*RIIIIING*_

"Well, time to get to our next class," Tai opened the door.

"No!" Izzy pulled him back. "We have to make sure the coast is clear!"

"Come on! It's not like Mimi would find us here. I don't think she'd step one foot into the gym," Tai breezily said.

"Yeah. Now you're just being paranoid," Sora opened the door a little bit before she abruptly closed it. "Never mind. I take back what I said."

"She's here?!" Tai gasped.

"Shhh! You're going to give away our hiding spot!" Izzy hissed.

"You know you brought this upon yourself," Tai whispered.

"How?" Izzy quietly yelled.

"You just had to look like that actor, didn't you?" Tai shook his head.

"How is that my fault?" Izzy asked.

"We're going to be late for class," Sora sighed as she chewed on a cherry tomato.

* * *

"Now listen up!" Mimi blew on a whistle as if she were a drill sergeant. "It's my job to whip you guys into shape!"

"Who died and made you leader?" Koji scoffed.

"Is it possible that she might have killed Tai and Izzy?" Takato whimpered.

"I wouldn't blame her," Rika muttered.

"Hey everyone! Sorry we were late, we were just trying to avoid-," Izzy's jaw dropped.

"Oh, she's here...," Tai covered his mouth.

"Mimi! What are you doing here?" Sora asked.

"Hello? Did you guys forget that I am the host club manager?" Mimi stood akimbo. "Anyways, it was about time you guys showed up! I'm gonna give everyone makeovers, starting with Rika!"

"AHHHHH! SOMEBODY HELP!" the Host Club yelled.

* * *

"Just came in to check on-bahahahahahah!" Matt burst out laughing. "What the heck?"

"Don't you think they look good?" Mimi asked Matt.

"Depends. Are they in cosplay?" Matt tried to stifle his laughter.

"What's cosplay?" Mimi asked him.

"Costume play. As in they're dressed in costumes," Matt said as if he were talking to a half-deaf person.

"Like Halloween, but you can do it any day you want?" Mimi asked. "That sounds like fun!"

"I'm taking as if this wasn't cosplay," Matt rubbed his chin. "Please tell me I'm wrong."

"They're not in costumes. Why?" Mimi looked at Matt, confused.

"Then explain why the girl looks like a gothic housemaid," Matt pointed to Rika. She was wearing a black trenchcoat, a purple petticoat, lacy fingerless gloves, and Mary Janes.

"The name's Rika," Rika scoffed.

"And she's not a gothic housemaid! She's punk Lolita, duh! Huge difference," Mimi crossed her arms.

"Okay, then why is Takato dressed like Little Boy Blue?" Matt tilted his chin toward Takato. He was donned in a light blue sailor-styled button-down shirt with matching shorts, and he wore a red beret on his head.

"Nah, I would have pegged him for that kid on the Cracker Jack box," Davis said.

"I'm thinking more like Sealand from Hetalia," TK rubbed his chin.

"Can I please take this off?" Takato's eyes began to water. "My shorts keep riding up and I look ridiculous."

"No, you look adorable!" Mimi ran up to him and pinched his cheek.

"Mimi, before you take the last piece of dignity that poor kid has left, how come Kouichi's dressed like Justin Timberlake?" Matt questioned.

"He's got like this aura of coolness, so I thought his outfit should reflect that," Mimi flourished at Kouichi. He wore a plaid shirt underneath a long cardigan, a bow tie, khaki slacks, high-top sneakers, and a fake pair of eyeglasses.

"So that also explains Koji's jackass hipster look!" Rika faked surprise.

"Exactly," Mimi smiled in pride.

"Hey!" Koji yelled. He wore a crisp, white button-down, which was tucked into a pair of corduroys that had suspenders attached to them. An obnoxiously huge watch weighed his wrist down. To top the look off, Koji had Toms on his feet and a Starbucks coffee cup glued to his hand.

"You see, Koji is like a true hipster! Like a hipster, Koji tries to seperate himself from society by acting like he doesn't care about anything. If you ask me, he wants to have company, he just doesn't want to admit it," Mimi smiled.

"I thought this was a makeover, not some psychology session," Koji grunted.

"And like a true hipster, Koji's trying to push people away by being a jackass," Mimi shrugged.

"I'm only being a jackass because you superglued this cup on my hand! I can't take it out!" Koji flailed his hand around to show everyone.

"Can you explain why Tai looks like he stepped out of an Archie comic book?" Matt smirked at Tai, who was wearing a green-and-white letterman jacket, faded blue jeans, brown leather shoes, and a class ring.

"I kept trying to tell her that soccer players are too cool for these prissy jackets, but she didn't listen," Tai pouted.

"I was only trying to play up his athletic side," Mimi shrugged. "A lot of girls love the typical, All-American jock."

"Sora, did you hear that? I don't have to live in America to be All-American," Tai suddenly started feeling better about his outfit. "In your face!"

"Ugh, whatever," Sora leaned over a lab table.

"Any more complaints, Matt?" Mimi crossed her arms.

"Yes. Why the hell did you dress TK and Davis in the same outfits?! They look like they came straight out of a Gap advertisement!" Matt yelled. Davis and TK had the same tight turtlenecks, dark (and even tighter) skinny jeans, loafers, and knitted black scarves. The only difference between their outfits was that Davis wore a burgundy turtleneck, and TK's turtleneck was a deep turquoise.

"We're just that sexy," Davis flashed a seductive smile.

"I don't mean that in a good way," Matt shook his head. "You guys look very homosexual. Very."

"Psh, someone's just jealous because his shirt doesn't bring out his eyes," TK flipped his scarf to behind his shoulder.

"Normally, I would have reserved these outfits for you and Tai, but you're not in the club so I gave them to Davis and TK. They're the next overly bromantic pair in the club," Mimi explained.

"We were never bromantic partners!" Matt and Tai yelled at the same time.

"Then why do people think you and Matt go out?" Kouichi asked.

"Where'd you hear that?" Tai slammed his hands on the tabletop. "I could understand if they said that about me and Izzy, but not me and Matt!"

"Hkkk," Izzy pounded his chest.

"Are you okay?" Sora patted Izzy on the back.

"I'm fine," Izzy croaked and coughed. "Okay, much better."

"I've got nothing to say about Sora execpt that she looks hot," Matt nodded at Sora.

"Isn't she? She's attractive without a doubt, but she needed to show it a little," Mimi nodded.

"You think? I feel like a slut," Sora blushed. She wore a tight, low-cut, coral henley, a brown plaid miniskirt, and brown high-heeled pumps.

"Then that makes you the sexiest slut I know," Matt smiled. At the corner of her eye, Mimi saw Tai fuming on the other side of the room. "Just one more question. Why is Izzy the only guy in the school uniform?"

"Because I saved the best for last!" Mimi squealed.

"Uh oh, time for me to go!" Izzy nervously gulped.

"Oh, stop being so stubborn!" Mimi happily pulled Izzy by the wrist. "You look perfect the way you are! I'm just gonna make a few minor improvements!"

"What?!" Izzy yelled. "Don't touch me!"

"I'm just taking your clothes off," Mimi innocently said as she slid Izzy's blazer off. She put a motorcycle jacket on him.

"I guess that's not as bad as I thought," Izzy said. "It's just a change of-what the heck are you doing?"

"Just opening your shirt up a little," Mimi casually unbuttoned two holes of Izzy's shirt, loosened up his tie, and ruffled his already-messy hair.

"Izzy looks like he just got shitfaced the night before," Matt tried to contain himself by pressing his lips together.

"That's the point!" Mimi said. "Jeremiah Hirschmanwitz always gets into fights, so Izzy can totally pull off the bad-boy look!"

"I never heard of him. Who's Jeremiah Hirschmanwitz?" Matt looked confused.

"Don't ask," Sora warned.

_*Knock knock*_ a timid girl knocked on the door. "Hello?"

"Hi!" Mimi perkily waved to her.

"Is this the host club?" she asked.

"Yes," Tai said.

"Oh my god!" she squealed. As soon as she said that, a mob of girls stormed in.

"Gahhhh!" everyone but Mimi and Matt stepped back so far, their backs were leaning against the wall.

"One at a time!" Mimi hung a rope, dividing the girls from the host club.

"You guys look so hot!" the girls gushed.

"Thanks!" TK and Davis puffed their chests out.

"I told you! Sure, Mimi's insane but she knows what she's doing," Tai mumbled to Izzy and Sora.

"I don't know. I have a feeling this whole thing's going to backfire," Izzy bit his lip.

"Let's just go with it. If it goes too far, then we'll pull the plug," Sora said.

"Calm down," Mimi said as she collected money from the girls. "If you're going to barrel right in, I have no choice but to send you out!" she threatened.

"Okay, we'll behave," the crowd said.

Mimi lead the girls to their desired hosts and nodded in satisfaction. "Congratulations! You and Tai finally got your first clients," Matt said.

"Did you dress them up? They look so hot! Especially Izzy," one girl dreamily sighed.

"I know! He's my boyfriend," Mimi smiled.

"Wow! I wish I could be like you," the girl said. "How can you not be jealous about your boyfriend hanging out with a lot of girls?"

"I just am," Mimi grinned.

"Excuse me, I'm going to see how Sora's doing," Matt said.

"Nuh uh. Do you have five dollars?" Mimi held up her palm.

"Are you kidding? Do I have to pay to hang out with my friends?" Matt stepped back, shocked.

"You do since you're on host club headquarters and you're not a host," Mimi smiled.

"How about a family and friends discount?" Matt asked.

"Nope," Mimi shook her head. "If you're not a host or manager, that makes you a customers and customers have to pay for what they want."

"Did Tai put you to this?" Matt grumbled as he stuck his hand in his pocket. "Because if so, it's not working," Matt muttered as he handed Mimi a $5 bill.

* * *

"We definitely broke a record!" Sora looked at a white binder.

"That's not too hard to do, when we just started a week or so ago," Rika rolled her eyes.

"I know that, but I meant to say we did really, really good this week. We made a little over $2000 this week alone," Sora nodded at the notebook.

"$2000? That's amazing," Davis gasped.

"And since we set aside 60% of our profits for expenses, we'll divide the remaining 40% among us," Tai grinned.

"So we're gonna get paid?" Kouichi asked.

"Yeah," Sora said.

"I guess I'm not as embarrassed to wear this anymore," Takato pulled on the neck of his sailor top.

"Remember, we're going to get paid by proportion. Since Takato brought in the most clients, he'll get the paid out of the rest of us," Tai said.

"That's not fair," TK frowned.

"It's called commission. It's more than fair," Sora said. "Speaking of which, don't you think we should pay Mimi 10% of what we earned? She did help us out a lot."

Tai pensively rubbed his chin. "Okay, she gets 10%. But it's coming out of our expenses."

"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late! Did I miss anything?" Mimi skipped inside the lab.

"No, we're just breaking down the budget," Sora said. "Hey, have you seen Izzy? He seemed fine today..."

"No?" Mimi placed her finger on her bottom lip.

"Maybe he just got tired and went home," Tai shrugged.

"That's not fair. If we have to show up every day, how come he doesn't have to?" Koji shook his head.

"Because he's the one who runs things around here," Sora said.

"And me too!" Mimi raised her hand in the air.

"Yeah, you too," Tai huffed and gently guided Mimi to the side. "Unless you want to take more responsibilities, then you should probably shut up, Koji."

"Then how come you don't do anything?" Koji said.

"Because I'm the founder! I don't have to do anything," Tai pointed to himself.

"Then can I be founder too?" Koji smirked.

"That's not how it works!" Tai stomped his foot.

"Knock it off! We're opening in two minutes, so does anyone have anything they want to say?" Sora said. "No? Alright then. Mimi, you can start letting clients in."

"Matt! It's you again," Mimi said.

"Here's the $5, I'll be with Sora," Matt put the money in Mimi's outstretched palm.

When Matt was out of earshot, Tai pulled Mimi to the side. "Watch out for him and make sure he doesn't do anything funny with Sora," Tai whispered.

"He's a pervert?!" Mimi shrieked.

"Shhhh!" Tai covered her mouth with his hand. "Could you be any louder?"

"How come you never told me Matt was a creep?" Mimi said.

"He's not a creep. I just don't want him to-," Tai paused.

"What?" Mimi followed Tai's gaze. "Ohhhh," she looked at Matt resting his head on Sora's shoulder. "You like him."

"Him?!" Tai stepped back.

"Just because you guys are best friends doesn't mean you have to be boyfriends," Mimi shrugged.

"I meant Sora!" Tai hissed.

"Ohhh...I can't wait to tell her!" Mimi squealed.

"No, you can't say anything to her!" Tai turned red.

"Okay, I'll try not to tell her," Mimi nodded.

"No! You cannot tell her! Promise me," Tai shook Mimi.

"Okay, I promise! Can you stop shaking me? I'm getting d-"

"Izzy! What happened to you?" Sora ran up to him.

"I was just headed over here, but on the way, some guy beat me up for no reason. I don't think I've even seen him at school," Izzy rubbed his neck. He had a black eye, a couple of bruises on his cheek, and his lip was bleeding.

"Oh my gosh!" several girls gasped. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Izzy stumbled to the wall.

"Sora...can I tell you something?" Mimi tapped her on the shoulder.

"Mimi, no!" Tai yelled, but he was too late. He watched as the two girls whispered to each other.

"WHAT?!" Sora yelled. "Please tell me you're joking!" Mimi sheepishly bit on her nail.

"This is great...that girl can't keep a secret," Tai groaned. "Alright!" he slammed his hand against a tabletop. "HOST CLUB IS CLOSED!"

"Huh?" "What?" the confused clients looked at each other.

"We're closing early for today. We have a little emergency," Tai slightly lowered his voice.

"Thanks for coming," TK led several girls to the door.

"Hopefully we'll see you tomorrow," Davis winked at them.

"Bye Takato! You're soooo cute!" a couple of girls squealed.

"Thanks?" Takato blushed.

"I'll call you later," Matt gestured to Sora.

"Okay," Sora smiled.

After everyone left the room, Tai slammed the door shut and leaned against it. "That's it! That is it! I've had it up to here with you, Mimi!"

"What did I do?" Mimi looked at him, doe-eyed.

"I want you all to go back to uniforms tomorrow! No more costumes!" Tai yelled.

"Thank god," Koji muttered.

"And you!" he pointed a finger at Mimi. "I want you out of this club! Ever since you decided to 'help' us out, our club has become more of a hot mess!" Tai yelled. "We didn't want your help in the first place!"

"Really?" Mimi began to whimper.

"Stop being so mean, Tai! She helped us out a lot! Sure, we have to wear these outfits, but it helped get the word out," Sora crossed her arms.

"And that's the problem! Her stupid clothes! I'm wearing this stupid pretty-boy jacket, I'm pretty sure Takato's ass crack is chafing from those stupid shorts."

"They kinda are," Takato blushed.

"Rika looks like a 1980's Madonna, Kouichi really does look like Justin Timberlake, Koji looks like a New York Magazine-reading douchebag, and don't get me started on you!" Tai pointed at Sora.

"Me?!" Sora's jaw dropped. "What about me?"

"Thanks to Mimi, you're getting a lot of unwanted attention!" Tai yelled. "You look like a whore!"

"What?!" Sora's jaw dropped. "I think I look fine! Mimi thinks so and so does Matt."

"Shaddup about them!" Tai yelled.

"Why don't we have popcorn here? This is entertainment gold," Rika smirked.

"You're saying that this is all my fault?" Mimi's eyes began to water.

"Yes! Even Izzy agrees with me! In fact, he was the first person to think that! Go ahead, tell her," Tai nudged Izzy.

"Is that really what you think?" Mimi's lip quivered. "Fine," Mimi bit her lip and ran out of the room.

"Tai. That was really harsh," Izzy said.

"What? I was just repeating what you said!" Tai crossed his arms. "If you think I was being 'too harsh', then you go running after her! I'm done here!" Tai stomped out of the room.

"This is the worst," Sora chased after Tai.

"I've got a big mess on my hands," Izzy groaned as walked out of the room.

"..."

"Well, this is awkward," TK made a face.

"Hahahahahahaha!" Davis howled.

"Why are you laughing?" Takato gasped.

"I don't know. It's just something I do when I'm in an uncomfortable situation," Davis shrugged.

"That must suck," Kouichi frowned.

"You have no idea. I can't remember how many times my yaya's punched me in the face just because I cracked up during a funeral," Davis rubbed his cheek.

"..."

* * *

"Mimi! Wait up!"

"No! Just leave me alone before I make things worse!" Mimi cried.

"Don't listen to Tai! He's probably stressed out. About what, I don't know since he doesn't do anything," Izzy shrugged.

"No, he's right! I messed everything up, but you know what hurt me the most?" Mimi sniffled.

"What?" Izzy asked.

"You were the first one to think I would fail," Mimi sobbed. "Jeremiah would never think that! He would have believed in me, even though he won't admit it."

"Jeremiah is a fictional character. Just because you think I look like him-"

"You do look like him," Mimi interrupted.

"Okay, whatever. The point is, it doesn't matter if I wear a leather jacket or if I have bruises on my face, I will never be Jeremiah. I'm just Izzy, and you can't change that, no matter how hard you try," Izzy sighed. "You can't expect clothes to determine people's personalities."

"Then how can I see how a person's like?" Mimi asked.

"By getting to know them. You can't judge people by the clothes they wear. Clothes are our way of expressing how we want to be seen on the outside, but that doesn't show who we really are on the inside. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I think I do," Mimi wiped her tears dry. "And you know what? You really are like Jeremiah."

"What? Didn't we finish talking about that?" Izzy spazzed.

"I know, but you are like him. You act like you don't care about anything, but on the inside, I know you do care," Mimi poked him in the chest. "See you around," she kissed him on the cheek and happily skipped away.

"What just happened?" Izzy touched his face.

* * *

"Don't think that I can't catch up to you!" Sora jogged next to Tai. "What's the matter with you? Why did you blow up at Mimi for?"

"She can't keep her mouth shut, that's why! I saw her talking to you about it!" Tai kept running.

"Why are you mad about it?" Sora tried to catch her breath. "Can you really blame me?"

"You didn't have to be so horrified!" Tai yelled.

"So you're saying that I should be okay with Mimi paying some guy $20 to beat Izzy up?" Sora made a face.

"What?" Tai stopped running.

"Yeah, Mimi paid some guy to beat Izzy up. I guess Mimi wanted Izzy to get bruised up so he could look more like that TV character," Sora repeated. "That is what you were freaking out about, right?"

"Uh...," Tai turned red.

"Oh, so you were talking about something else," Sora smirked.

"What? No!" Tai frantically fidgeted with his hair.

"It's okay. We all know Mimi's gonna spill the beans soon. I'll find out in time," Sora giggled.

"Gah!" Tai tugged at his hair.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Sora roughed up Tai's hair and walked away.

"Crap crap crap!" Tai panicked.

* * *

"And even though you guys went back to wearing your uniforms, I am just so glad that you guys asked me to be part of your team again!" Mimi gushed.

"I don't remember asking her anything," Rika muttered.

"Neither did I," Koji snorted.

"You just asked her to unglue the coffee cup from your hand five minutes ago," Kouichi whispered.

"And this is what happened," Koji held up his hand to show Kouichi his bloody palm.

"That's gross," Davis grimaced.

"Ever since I started working here, I learned an important lesson. We can fix up what we look like on the outside, but it's what's inside us that counts. Takato doesn't need to wear that adorable outfit to prove to everyone that he's cute...," Mimi smiled at Takato.

"Thank god," Takato sighed in relief.

"Rika doesn't need to be punk lolita to show everyone she's a tough girl with a dark side..."

"I hate to admit it, but I kinda liked my outfit. I felt like I was an extra in a Tim Burton movie," Rika mumbled.

"Kouichi doesn't need his plaid shirts and cardigans to make people notice that he's naturally cool and Koji doesn't need to dress like a hipster to show everyone he's a jackass...," Mimi looked at the twins.

"Seriously? I'm glad I'm back to these uniforms," Koji crossed his arms.

"TK and Davis don't have to wear matching outfits to prove their deep, deep bromance," Mimi giggled.

"What bromance?" Davis leaned his back against TK's chest.

"We should give them a nickname, like how people came up with Brangelina or TomKat," Rika rolled her eyes.

"That's a good idea!" Takato said.

"How about Tasuke?" Kouichi suggested.

"Or Daikeru?" Takato shrugged.

"Or Homo and Homo-er," Koji snorted.

"Yeah, cause that's creative," Rika scoffed.

"Shut up, you gothic nanny," Koji said.

"You shut up, you hipster," Rika shot back.

"Why don't you both shut up? You're gonna get us in trouble," Kouichi whispered.

"Sora doesn't need to wear tight clothes to show off her sex appeal," Mimi said.

"Damn straight she doesn't," Tai said to himself.

"That being said, Sora doesn't need to wear a burka either," Mimi smirked at Tai. "And Tai doesn't need to wear a letterman jacket-"

"The hell I don't! Soccer players are too cool for those preppy jackets," Tai retorted.

"And Izzy doesn't need to get bruises everywhere to show how badass he really is," Mimi flashed Izzy a big smile.

"What? I can agree with all of the other stuff, but Izzy being a badass? I don't see that," Davis shook his head.

"Me neither," Rika said.

"Ditto," Koji nodded.

"You guys don't get it! The whole thing is that you can't just judge a person on the outside! It's all inside!" Mimi put her hand to her heart.

"I'm so proud of you, Mimi," Sora smiled.

"Yeah. Sorry about blowing up on you...," Tai blushed. "Welcome back to the club," he shook Mimi's hand.

"Yay! And my first duty since I returned to the club is-"

"Oh crap," Rika clutched her head.

"Hmph. Welcome back to the club, Mimi," Koji snorted.


	5. The Boys Fight!

**The Boys Fight!**

"This is completely unpredictable," Izzy looked around the science lab.

"What's unpredictable?" Mimi asked.

"It's something that you didn't expect to happen," Tai said.

"I know what the word means! I'm not stupid!" Mimi pressed her lips together.

"I just find it interesting that there isn't a particular pattern when it comes to who's the most popular host in a certain week," Izzy rubbed his chin. "For the first two weeks, Takato was number one, but then, the twins were the most popular the next week. While Takato's been number two for 3 consecutive weeks, Davis and TK have gradually gained more popularity. At this rate, it seems like Davis and TK are going to take the top spot by the end of this week."

"Just look at it this way. At least we definitely know that you'll take the bottom spot again this week," Tai patted Izzy on the back. Izzy swatted Tai's hand away and stomped to the other side of the room.

"Eeeeeee!"

"What the hell is going on?" Tai said.

"It's TK and Davis. They're _really_ popular," Mimi pointed to the boys.

"It wouldn't hurt to do it just once, don't you think?" TK smirked at Davis.

"It sure wouldn't!" one girl squealed.

"I would totally die of happiness!" another girl sighed.

"You know you're my best friend," Davis leaned close to TK's face.

"I couldn't dream of sharing my feelings with anyone but you," TK stroked Davis's cheek. Their lips were millimeters away from each other, barely touching.

"Ahhhh! I'm so in love!" a couple of girls gushed.

"Let's see some tongue!"

"What the hell?!" Tai yelled.

"Hey Tai," Davis and TK casually said and sat up straight.

"You suck! They were just about to make out with each other!" one girl angrily pointed a finger at Tai.

"Gah-what-huh?" Tai shuddered. "Those two?"

"Yeah, before you interrupted," Yolei said.

"Yolei? What are you doing here?" Tai shook his head.

"I don't think you should be asking me questions. You should be thanking me for supporting your club!" Yolei crossed her arms.

"Alright, I'll go! Continue what you were doing," Tai turned his back to them and huffed.

"Ahhhhh! That's soooo hot! I wish this never ends!"

"What is wrong with the girls at this school?" Tai huffed.

"I ask myself the same question," Rika smirked.

"We might have the answer for you," Davis leaned his arm on Rika's shoulder.

"Girls just can't resist our friendship, because it's just that strong of a bond," TK rested his arm on Rika's other shoulder.

"How the-you were just-," Tai shakily pointed to where the boys were seconds ago. "God, I hate today."

"Hey, Rika. We're still coming to your house later, right?" Takato walked up to her.

"Oooh, we're going to Rika's house?!" Mimi bounced up and down in place.

"What about Rika's house?" Sora walked over to them.

"Are we holding a club meeting at Rika's?" Izzy said.

"We'll be glad to come over," Kouichi said.

"No we won't," Koji snorted.

"So club meeting at Rika's! How's 2 o'clock this Saturday afternoon sound?" Tai asked.

"How about 4 o'clock of NEVER?!" Rika yelled. "I don't want you morons showing up at my house!"

"What? Why? Do you have a little secret you're hiding from us?" Davis smirked.

"Maybe she's embarrassed about something," TK winked.

"No! I have enough of you guys after school! The last thing I want to do is spend time with you on my days off," Rika crossed her arms.

"Spill the beans, Takato!" Tai yelled.

"About what?!" Takato shook, completely taken off-guard.

"Takato...," Mimi had an evil smile on her face.

"Takato! You better not say anything!" Rika threatened.

"Takaaaato!"

"Takato!"

"Takaaaato!"

"I gotta go...," Takato tiptoed toward the door. "Ahhhhh!" he bolted off.

"Hmph, how did you guys scare Takato this time?" Matt leaned against the doorway.

"We didn't scare him! We're just talking about how we're gonna hang out at Rika's this Saturday," Tai nodded.

"Cool! Can I come too?" Matt nodded.

"No!" Rika stomped her foot.

"You can't. It's a host club meeting, and since you're not a host...," Mimi taunted.

"You put her up to this, didn't you?" Matt said to Tai. "Because it's not working."

"Not everything is about you. The host club is plenty successful without you. If I double-check the numbers," Izzy fidgeted with his calculator watch.

"_*cough cough*_ nerd _*cough cough*_," Koji coughed into his sleeve.

"Are you okay? Do you need a glass of water?" Mimi asked.

"He's fine. He was obviously calling me a nerd because I have a calculator watch," Izzy said.

"What? How did you get all of that from a cough attack?" Koji pretended to be appalled.

"The watch is pretty nerdy," Sora said.

"I think I lost 10 cool points just by looking at that thing," Matt grimaced.

"So that brings your grand total down to -56 cool points," Tai smirked. "Congratulations! The nerd watch has more cool points than you now."

"Hah hah, that was soooo funny, I forgot to laugh," Matt rolled his eyes.

"Stop making fun of my watch. I swear, you guys are such dummkopfs," Izzy rubbed his wrist.

* * *

_*SLAM*_

"TK, what's wrong?" Sora asked.

_*SLAM*_

"Davis? What happened?" Izzy asked.

"Why are you guys not in your uniforms?" Tai scolded.

"They are in their uniforms," Mimi gestured toward the boys, who were wearing green-and-white baseball uniforms.

"I mean the regular school uniforms!" Tai snapped.

"From now on, we don't wanna be sold as a package!" Davis and TK said simultaneously.

"Davis wouldn't let me be the pitcher!" TK crossed his arms.

"TK ate my sausage at lunch!" Davis retorted.

"I hope that they're talking about baseball and food," Kouichi made a face.

"Chances are they aren't," Koji muttered.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Are you guys seriously mad about that?" Tai said.

"Mad about what?" Matt peered in through the door.

"Five dollars please," Mimi stretched out her hand.

"I'm gonna go broke just by stepping into this classroom," Matt muttered as he fished through his pocket for money.

"Davis wouldn't let me be pitcher," TK tattled.

"That doesn't give you the right to eat my sausage!" Davis yelled.

"I blame Kari for this," Matt pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What does Kari have anything to do with this?!" Tai grabbed Matt by the collar.

"I'm just saying that Kari faggified him!" Matt pushed Tai off him.

"Is faggified even a word?" Izzy asked.

"This is not helping the situation," Sora sighed.

"According to this, the definition of faggified is-," Koji turned to a random page in a dictionary and stuck his pointer finger up in the air.

"Koji, don't even...," Kouichi put his hand on Koji's shoulder. "You're only going to make things worse."

"How do I make things worse?!" Koji yelled in Kouichi's face.

"Stop fighting! I'm getting sad!" Mimi whined.

"Who cares what you think?" Rika spat.

"I gotta go...," Takato dashed out of the room.

"We're done!" Davis screamed.

"Good! Now I don't have to share a sleeping bag with anyone," TK said.

"I only do it because you always complain that you're cold! A good friend cares about keeping his buddy warm," Davis smirked.

"I wish I could share a sleeping bag with them," one girl sighed.

"Yeah...I would love to be smooshed in between them, like an Oreo!" another girl goofily smiled.

"I'm glad we're through! Now I can watch a movie without having someone on my lap!" Davis spat.

"I might sit on your lap, but that's because you get upset when I don't," TK put his hands on his hips.

"Tai, promise me we won't have Movie Night Fridays anymore," Matt pulled on Tai's sleeve.

"Take my word for it, we won't. This has to end now," Tai climbed on top of a lab table and stood on the black tabletop. "Sorry for the inconvenience, but the Host Club is shutting down early today!" he hollered.

"Is everything alright?" one girl asked.

"We just have some minor problems," Izzy held a clipboard in his hands. "Hopefully, we can resolve them as soon as possible."

"Doesn't he just sound so...importanty?" Mimi sighed.

"Psh! Anyone can look important by carrying a clipboard around," Koji scoffed.

"That's the stupidest thing you've ever said," Kouichi shook his head.

"I beg to differ," Koji said, while holding up a clipboard.

"Wow! You sound so official!" Mimi gushed.

"You look very legit," Kouichi nodded.

"Hey! Why did you take my clipboard away?" Izzy snatched his clipboard back from Koji.

"Just trying to prove a point," Koji shrugged.

"We plan to continue operating as soon as possible, so thank you for your patience and cooperation. We really do appreciate your support," Izzy addressed the clients.

"I hope everything gets better soon," one girl said.

"Me too," another girl nodded in agreement.

"Thanks for visiting the host club," Tai handed each girl a flower-shaped crystal lollipop.

"Bye guys! Feel better," the girls waved and walked out of the door.

"Matt...," Tai raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?" Matt said.

"Shouldn't you leave?" Tai crossed his arms.

"What for?" Matt said.

"Because we're dealing with a host club issue, and since you're not a host, there's no reason you should be here," Izzy said.

"Are you kidding me?! Did Tai put you up to this? You're relentless, Tai. I'm still not gonna join your little club," Matt smirked.

"We've got enough people in the club; we don't really need you," Tai said.

"Sure...," Matt rolled his eyes.

"So can you leave?" Tai asked.

"Already? I just gave you guys five dollars two minutes ago to get inside, and now you're gonna kick me out?!" Matt yelled.

"Sorry, but we're closing early," Mimi said.

"If I can't stay, can I get my money back?" Matt asked.

"Nope. No refunds," Mimi pointed to a sign hanging from the door.

"You've got to be kidding me...I didn't see that sign a minute ago," Matt stared at the sign in disbelief.

"It's been hanging there for a while now," Izzy gave Matt a strange look.

"Kinda like you. Now can you please go?" Tai said.

"Fine, I'll leave!" Matt walked to the door. "But can I at least get a lollipop?"

"Goodbye, Matt!" Sora gently ushered Matt out of the room and closed the door on him.

"That's not fair!" Matt moaned from the other side of the door.

"Alright you two! What the hell is going on? I want all of the details!" Tai glared at Davis and TK.

"No, we don't want all of the details!" Koji clamped his hands over his ears.

"So, it was third period gym class and we decided to play baseball," TK started. "I wanted to try pitching, because I'm always the catcher, so I wanted to try something new..."

"Lalalalalalala! I can't heaaaar yooooou!" Koji tried to block out TK.

"Shut up!" Rika nudged him.

"Anyways, Davis is always the pitcher and I wanted to be a pitcher for once, but he got mad about it," TK went on.

"That's because I'm a good pitcher! Why mess up something that's already beautiful?" Davis interrupted.

"I'll never be good if you never give me the chance! Practice makes perfect," TK said smugly.

"This conversation seems to get worse the more they keep talking," Rika sighed.

"That's why you should let me do this...lalalalalalala!" Koji obnoxiously said.

"Knock it off!" Tai wagged a finger at Koji. "Go on, TK."

"It's too late for us to be switching positions! We're comfortable where we are, why do you want to make things harder?" Davis said. "You see, this is what I can't stand about this guy! He always wants to make things difficult for me!"

"I do not!" TK protested.

"Oh, yes you do! Then you get all upset when you don't get your way!" Davis crossed his arms and turned his nose up in the air.

"So do you!" TK yelled.

"At least I'm not eating your sausage off!" Davis quipped.

"Huh?" Izzy grimaced.

"You should have seen it!"

"No, I'm happy we didn't see it...," Rika shuddered.

"That guy was chomping away on my sausage! He was like an angry bear or something, just tearing apart at my beloved bratwurst!" Davis said dramatically.

"So you took his pork, huh?" Koji looked at TK.

"I only did it because he's a stubborn jackass!" TK poked Davis in his chest hard.

"And you're just a dumb blond who won't ever be good at anything except lying on your back!" Davis scoffed.

"Ew," Koji made a face.

"Are you seriously making a big deal about this?" Sora said.

"It is a big deal! Davis doesn't like change and I'm getting tired of it," TK said.

"I like change! Let's change the conversation to...why are pennies copper but all of the other coins silver?" Kouichi piped up.

"Look, you two better learn to settle your differences! Do you understand how embarrassing it is to shut the club down early?" Tai yelled.

"Especially when it's because you two are acting like...well, like Tai and Matt," Sora shook her head.

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. Guys, just figure out how to settle this. We don't want to disappoint our loyal clients," Tai said.

"Neither do I," Davis huffed. "I just won't talk to him anymore. That's all!"

"And I'm not talking to him anymore!" TK said.

"Great! Now since that's settled, we can go home now! That's a wrap, everyone!" Tai clapped his hands and gestured to the door.

"Gladly," Rika muttered.

"This is one of those times where I wonder why I stick around," Koji said.

"You think that all the time," Kouichi said.

"Where's Takato? I wanted to give him a hug...," Mimi said.

"He probably left before we could see him," Izzy looked around the room.

"Now I'm sad again," Mimi pouted.

"Lollipop?" Sora held up a pink lollipop.

"Sure!" Mimi took the lollipop and shoved it in her mouth.

* * *

"Davis? TK?" Sora struggled not to laugh.

"Oh my god. Are you serious?" Izzy gave himself a facepalm.

"What?" the boys casually said.

"I'm with stupid?" Mimi squinted. "How come the arrows are pointed to each other?"

"What?!" Davis and TK jumped back. They were both wearing "I'm With Stupid" shirts, but TK's arrow pointed to the right and the arrow on Davis's shirt pointed to the left. "Hey! You copied me!" they both yelled at the same time.

"No, you copied me!" Davis jammed his finger down TK's chest.

"You wish!" TK effortlessly pushed Davis's finger back.

"What's with the stupid shirts?" Rika looked at them in amusement.

"I was just trying to point out the obvious," TK wrapped his arm around Davis's waist.

"You mean the obviously wrong!" Davis pushed TK away.

"Knock it off!" Sora bashed both boys on the head.

"You're scaring all of the girls," Izzy grunted.

"We're all supposed to match!" Tai hissed.

"What about Rika? She doesn't match," Koji said.

"You really like to instigate," Kouichi shook his head.

"Just take the stupid shirts off!" Tai growled.

"Okay then, with pleasure," TK shrugged and pulled the shirt over his head.

"Oh my gosh! I'm sooo in love!" a couple of girls screamed.

"Please, that's nothing compared to this," Davis took off his shirt.

"I must have died because this is heaven," one girl fanned herself.

"Guys, just get in your uniforms and act professional," Tai talked through his teeth.

"Only one problem...I put my shirt in my bag, and now it's gone," TK said. "I think someone took my shirt on purpose."

"My shirt is missing too! You probably did it!" Davis yelled.

"How do I know it wasn't you?" TK put his hands on his hips.

"Are you calling me a liar?!" Davis exclaimed.

"I didn't say anything like that. Now you're just twisting my words around," TK smirked.

"Screw you!" Davis charged toward TK and tackled him.

"Get off of me!" TK wrestled with Davis.

"Oh my gosh...my heart's pounding sooo hard," one girl put her hand to her chest.

"My head's pounding so hard," Rika groaned and put her head down on a table.

"They remind me of the Abercrombie models! That's the only reason I shop there!" one girl squealed.

"I know! I collect the shopping bags! It's like eye candy!" Mimi said.

"We should take a picture of them and send it to Abercrombie! They'll totally put them on their next shopping bag!" another girl said.

"This is so awkward," Takato laughed nervously.

"Tell me about it," Kouichi looked down at his feet.

"Rika really looks like she's enjoying this," Koji snorted. Rika pressed her hands to the sides of her head.

"I hate this...," she groaned.

"I'm so sorry," TK rested his arm on Rika's shoulder. "If I had it my way, Davis would stop being such an immature doofus-brained gogglehead."

"He sure is a gogglehead," Rika picked her head up.

"Hey! Don't listen to him! At least I don't wear an old man hat!" Davis spat.

"You do wear an old man hat," Rika said to TK.

"Hey! Buzz off Davis! Rika's my friend, not yours!" TK yelled.

"Oh yeah? Then why does she like me better?" Davis smirked.

"Gsuejdkjsidbl," TK grit his teeth and began hitting Davis.

"Oh no you don't!" Davis retaliated by slapping TK's hands.

"Wow...," Izzy looked at the boys in shock.

"Are they seriously catfighting?" Sora winced.

"I can't take my eyes off of this," a group of girls said in awe.

"I can," Rika took her satchel and slung it on her shoulder. "Bye."

"I'm leaving too!" Takato ran after Rika.

"Look what you did! You scared my best friend away!" TK slapped Davis's hand.

"Please! That was all you!" Davis sneered.

"We're closing now! Thanks for visiting the host club! Hopefully we'll see you guys again tomorrow!" Sora yelled over the boys.

"Thank Jesus," Koji huffed.

* * *

"Hi, best friend!" TK patted Rika on the back. "Guess what I got you..."

"I dunno," Rika droned.

"You're not really good at guessing," TK pouted. "Anyways, look!" he handed her a box of blueberry Pop-Tarts.

"Thanks?" Rika cautiously took the Pop-Tarts and opened the box.

"No problem! That's what best friends do!" TK said obnoxiously. "They get things for each other!"

"Too bad you didn't buy them," Davis said. "I saw him take it out of our club stash!"

"I don't care. Pop-Tarts are Pop-Tarts," Rika shrugged and ripped at the foil packaging.

"See, a real friend would get you something that wasn't club property like...," Davis pulled out a shoe box. "A starter deck of Pokemon cards!"

"Pokemon?! Are you serious?!" Rika exclaimed.

"Aren't you so excited?" Davis bobbed up in down in place.

"Excited?! I hate Pokemon!" Rika shrieked. "Pokemon is such a Digimon ripoff!"

"Ha hah! Who's a failure now?" TK taunted.

"What? At least I tried!" Davis threw the box at TK and ran out of the room.

"Hey!" TK chased after Davis.

"What. The. Hell...," Tai said.

"Great, look at these mess of cards," Sora shook her head as she picked them up.

"What kind of cards?" Takato perked up.

"Pokemon," Sora read the back of the cards.

"Poke-a-man cards? That sounds ugly," Mimi made a face.

"Those things are worthless," Takato shook his head. "They're just really bad counterfeits."

"Why would people want to make fake cards?" Kouichi asked.

"For the same reason that people sell Little Caesar's pizza," Koji said.

"Because they taste good, even when you reheat them?" Kouichi pondered.

"That's a theory I'm willing to try," Tai took the Pokemon cards and stuck them in a toaster oven.

"What are you guys doing?" Izzy passed by them.

"Come back 15 minutes later and you'll see," Tai said as everyone peered inside the little oven.

* * *

"I'm sorry about the whole Pokemon thing, so I got you this...," Davis held up a tiny t-shirt.

"What is that?!" TK howled. "It looks like a shirt for a dog!"

"What are you talking about! It'll fit her awesomely!" Davis protested.

"I like it," Rika put the shirt on and stood next to TK.

"Stay! I just need to take a picture of this!" Davis pulled out his phone.

"Wait!" TK jumped back and looked at Rika's shirt. She was wearing a "I'm With Stupid" tee.

"This has to be the best shirt ever!" Rika smirked.

"Nuh uh! Just wait here!" TK disappeared in a flash. He came back moments later with another tiny tee and handed it to Rika. "Now this is the best shirt ever!"

"The Best T-Shirt Ever," Rika read the words on her new shirt.

"That t-shirt has to be the best, it says so! You can't argue with that, " Takato said.

"Why do you think they're giving Rika all this stuff?" Mimi leaned over a table.

"I'm assuming that the boys are competing with each other to see who Rika likes best," Izzy said.

"But why?" Mimi asked.

"If I'm correct, they chose to go after Rika because she's very difficult to impress. They could harass Koji, but he wouldn't let them go far like she can," Izzy said.

"What do you mean let them go far?" Mimi stretched her arms.

"Just look behind you," Izzy said. In a matter of seconds, Rika was surrounded by various amounts of stuffed animals, clothes, CDs, boxes of candy and she was sitting on a velvet throne.

"Where did they even get a throne?" Sora walked over to Izzy and Mimi.

"Maybe at the same place they got a tiger?" Mimi asked.

"A tiger? That's pretty random," Sora made a face.

"No, look! A real, live, breathing tiger!" Mimi pointed.

"Ayayayayaya! What the hell is this thing doing in my headquarters?!" Tai sporadically ran his hands through his hair.

"Ahhh! Rika! it's eating my backpack...," Takato tried to pull his knapsack out of the tiger's mouth.

"At least you don't have to do your homework?" Kouichi shrugged.

"No! That's the problem! I can't use the whole 'Guilmon ate my homework' excuse anymore. There's no way Ms. Asagi will believe me when I tell her a tiger ate my homework!" Takato struggled with his backpack.

"I know what you mean. After I said I had to attend my grandma's funeral, the teacher called my parents," Mimi said.

"Why?" Koji asked.

"She wanted to know how I had 5 grandmas who all happened to die in the same semester," Mimi said.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!" Rika kicked Davis in the face.

"Ow!" Davis whimpered.

"Hah!" TK said. "She doesn't like people taking her shoes off, you freak!"

"And I don't want you massaging my hands! That's weird!" Rika elbowed TK in the gut. "Why don't you just stop touching me?!"

"Yeah, TK!" Davis spat.

"What are you talking about? You were gonna massage her feet!" TK yelled.

"You guys can massage me! I have a knot in my back!" Mimi said.

"Why don't you just quit while you're ahead? You're only gonna make a fool out of yourself!" TK smirked.

"You shouldn't worry about me. At least I'm a good pitcher!" Davis yelled.

"Don't you get started on that again!" TK pushed Davis to the wall.

"What? You should be proud that you're a really good catcher," Davis flashed him a sinister smile. "Maybe if you chomp off on my sausage-"

"STOP IT!"

"Rika?" everyone stood still.

"I've had enough of this! I'm getting all of these disturbing images in my head! If you guys keep touching me and arguing about this pitcher-catcher-sausage stuff, I'll never EVER let you guys come over to my house!" Rika shouted.

"So you're saying if we stop fighting...," TK slinked over to Rika.

"We can go to your house?" Davis grinned.

"Oh crap...," Rika muttered.

"Booyah!" the boys high-fived each other.

"What?! What the hell is going on?!" Tai screamed.

"Was this all some twisted ploy?" Izzy gasped.

"Maybe," TK and Davis had devilish smiles on their faces.

"I'm so sorry I said all of those bad things about you!" Davis held TK close to him.

"That's okay! I know you didn't mean what you said! I love you!" TK burrowed his head in Davis's neck.

"And I love you too! Let's promise never to fight again!" Davis petted TK's hair.

"I can't believe this...," Rika shook her head.

"Neither can I. How does it feel to be outsmarted by two possibly gay morons?" Koji smirked.

"Ahhh! Can someone get rid of this tiger? My leg is stuck in his mouth!" Tai yelled.

"I guess that's my job," Izzy huffed.

"No, let's just make him wait a little," Sora giggled. "We'll get him out in five minutes."

"Ahhh! Come on guys! I can feel its teeth sinking!" Tai shrieked.


	6. The Grade School Host Is The Wild Type!

**The Grade School Host Is The Wild Type!**

"It's the end of the month, so we need to come up with a charity fundraiser for an organization of our choosing," Izzy tapped a pencil against his clipboard. "Any suggestions?"

"How about Mimi's Shopping Fund?" Mimi smiled.

"How about no," Izzy said.

"It was worth a shot," Mimi shrugged.

"How about the soccer club? We could always use more balls," Tai said.

"You can say that again," Koji smirked.

"No. The school already puts in enough money toward sports. They don't need any more money," Izzy ignored Koji.

"Is someone mad because the football team didn't even want him as a waterboy?" Davis flashed a devilish smile.

"Is that true?" Rika asked.

"No," Izzy blushed.

"So it is true," Rika gave Izzy a cold stare.

"How about we raise money for the-," Takato was cut off.

"Is this host club?" a young, tan boy burst into the science lab. He had unruly blue hair and his face was covered in paint markings.

"Yes, this is the host club. Why do you ask?" Sora said gently.

"Host club only boys! You girl! You girl!" the little boy angrily pointed at Sora.

"I don't even know how to respond to that...," Sora grimaced and stood behind Tai.

"Hey kiddo. Why were you looking for us?" Tai asked.

"Me want you tutor!" the boy grunted.

"Me Tarzan, you Jane...," Koji mocked the boy.

"That's not nice!" Sora scolded him.

"But he really does sound like that," Mimi giggled.

"That doesn't make it okay!" Sora gasped.

"Me Keenan Crier, 5th year student. Me want you teach me!" the boy said.

"I'd be glad to, but what do you want me to teach you?" Tai asked.

"Teach me be man!" Keenan pounded his chest.

"Maybe someone should teach him how to speak English correctly," Kouichi whispered in concern.

"I think I just might be able to break the language barrier!" TK jumped up from his seat and walked over to Keenan. "Tu hablas espanol?"

"You can speak Spanish?" Takato asked.

"French class sucked, so I switched to Spanish," TK shrugged.

"He only switched classes cause he's boning on a smokin' hot Señorita Rivera," Davis winked.

"Shut up," TK nudged Davis. He turned back to Keenan. "Me llamo TK."

"You stupid," Keenan growled.

"What?!" TK jumped back in surprise.

"You're the stupid one. You can't even speak in coherent sentences," Rika raised an eyebrow at Keenan.

"Shut up girl!" Keenan screamed.

"That sentence was coherent," Koji snickered.

"This punch in the face is coherent!" Rika decked him in the face.

"Now you guys are just throwing words around," Izzy sighed.

"So you want to be a man?" Tai asked Keenan.

"Yes," Keenan nodded.

"And you want me to teach you how to be a man?" Tai put his hand to his chest.

"That boy really is stupid. He can't make complete sentences and he's seeking advice from Big Hair," Rika rolled her eyes.

"Me be apprentice!" Keenan declared.

"I am truly honored to be your master! So yes, you are now my apprentice! You will observe my ways and hopefully you will learn to apply them into everyday life!" Tai gushed in a posh voice.

"Can we report Tai to Child Protection Services?" Takato asked.

"I think so. I don't think Tai would be a good influence on a young kid," Kouichi slowly shook his head.

"The last time we got a mini Tai, we ended up with Davis," Sora remarked.

"Heyyyy," Davis whined.

"Great...," Izzy groaned.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" Davis yelled.

"It means you're one special guy," TK put his hand inside Davis's back pocket.

"You're a great guy, you know that?" Davis brushed TK's hair out of his eyes.

"There aren't any clients around, and they still act like this?" Koji said in disbelief.

"Not surprised," Rika said wryly.

* * *

"Are you ready for your first lesson on becoming a man?" Tai asked.

"Me ready!" Keenan nodded.

"Okay, so we're gonna open up the doors in a couple of seconds. For today, you're just taking an introductory course. You will stick by my side and watch what I do," Tai ruffled Keenan's messy hair.

"Yes," Keenan said.

"The Host Club is open for business!" Mimi happily greeted the girls.

"Hey," Matt slithered through the doorway.

"Hello Matt," Mimi said flatly.

"Your enthusiasm just kills me," Matt said in a dramatic tone.

"Do you have five dollars?" Mimi held up her palm.

"Of course I do! When have I ever tried to get inside without paying?" Matt handed her the money.

"Every day," Mimi took the dollar bill from Matt and crossed her arms. "I'm watching you," she threatened.

"What? I already paid!" Matt's jaw dropped.

"Don't you think it's a bit weird that Tai's making Keenan watch what he's doing?" TK tapped Izzy on the shoulder.

"It's almost like teaching someone how to be good in bed by making them watch a porno," Koji snorted.

"Now that's a class I wanna take!" Davis grinned.

"Ugh...why me?" Izzy slumped his shoulders and walked away.

"Who couldn't resist a beautiful girl like you? From your soft red curls, to your big blue eyes, and those luscious lips...," Tai put his arm around a girl.

"You lie! Her look like clown! Her is Uglymon!" Keenan pointed at the girl.

"What did you just call me?" the girl gasped.

"He just called you an Uglymon," one of her friends said.

"I believe that's Jamaican for ugly man," another friend said.

"Tai!" the girl cried.

"Oh Karen! Don't listen to him," Tai hugged her. "You know kids say the darnedest things! He's just blurting his honest opinion!"

"Honest?!" the girl shrieked.

"That's just his opinion! You don't look like a clown, but even if you did, you would be the most beautiful clown in the world!" Tai nervously gulped.

"So I do look like a clown!" the girl cried.

"No! That's not what I meant!" Tai shook.

"Tai! You're a dumbass!" the girl burst into tears and ran out of the classroom. Her friends quickly followed her out.

"Please don't go! I'm sorry!" Tai cried out, but the girl was already gone.

"She crybaby," Keenan said.

"Seems like everything's going pretty smoothly," TK gave Tai a mischievous look.

"Did your little protege learn anything new?" Davis sneered.

"Hey Davis, do you ever wish you could replace me with him?" TK fiddled with the belt loops on Davis's pants.

"Of course not! All I want is you. You're my lifetime partner, forever and always," Davis pulled TK close to him.

"Oh emm gee! Aren't they just soooo hot?" a group of girls gasped.

"Gah! Faggots!" Keenan heaved.

"That's offensive. We like to call it bromantic," Tai crossed his arms.

"Hey Keenan. Do you want to have some cake? I brought some from my bakery," Takato put his hand on Keenan's shoulder.

"No touch me!" Keenan shoved Takato to the floor.

"Is there a problem here?" Rika cracked her knuckles.

"You sissy!" Keenan pointed to Takato. "You boy! No need girl defend you!"

"I have no idea what he's saying, but if I had to guess, I think he was just asking for an ass whooping!" Rika charged toward Keenan.

"Me no scared!" Keenan cowered and bumped into Sora.

"Whoa, careful!" Sora steadied herself.

"Dyke!" Keenan yelled.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Did you just call Sora a dyke?" Matt towered over Keenan. "She's not a dyke! Look at that rack of hers!"

"Matt!" Sora gasped.

"Don't you talk about my girl like that!" Tai yelled at Matt.

"Your girl...?" Sora eyed Tai suspiciously.

"I meant to say my girl friend-wait, that sounds bad! I meant friend girl! Yeah, a girl that's a friend!" Tai was flustered.

"I know what you meant...boy friend," Sora smirked.

"Ugh," Tai rubbed his temples. "Keenan, how about we start with something a little simple? Here, you can walk around and hold this tray of Capri Suns."

"Careful, it's heavy," Sora said as she handed Keenan the tray.

_*Clash!*_ Keenan dropped the tray and the juice pouches bounced over the floor.

"Could you be a little more careless, Sora? I expect more from you," Izzy picked up the tray.

"Me?" Sora yelled.

"Me no want hold juice! Me want be real man!" Keenan screamed.

"Well, you're not going to be a real man, especially when you're acting like an illiterate animal!" Tai snapped. "For starters, a real man doesn't disrespect ladies! TK, Davis! Put this brat on lockdown!"

"Got it!" Davis and TK ran to a rabbit cage and stuffed Keenan inside.

"Let me go!" Keenan shook around in his cage.

"Are you sure this is humane?" Kouichi asked.

"It's not like he acts like a human, so what does it matter?" Koji said.

"He's not getting out of there until he learns his lesson," Tai said.

"Get me out!" Keenan screamed. "You no treat loyal apprentice bad!"

"I thought you wanted to be my little apprentice so you can become a man, but I can see you're clearly not taking this seriously," Tai shrugged and walked across the room.

"Me take serious!" Keenan rattled the cage. "Me take serious! Me need help! Run out of time!"

"Let him out."

"Mimi?!" everyone was astonished.

"Why?" Sora asked.

"It's obvious that Keenan wants to be a man, but he can't be the kind of man that Tai is," Mimi said. "He has to be his own kind of man. Each one of you guys has something different in you, but that doesn't make you less of a man than someone else."

"Unless you're Davis and TK," Koji muttered. TK and Davis were nuzzling up against each other.

"What? They're just as much man as you are, if not more. They're really, really secure about their masculinity, that they can have a very intimate friendship. Or look at Tai! He's the take charge kind of man. He's a natural leader and he's always pushing everyone to do their best," Mimi said.

"Do you really mean that?" Tai beamed.

"She's just calling you bossy, but in a nice way," Izzy smirked.

"Pretty much," Mimi agreed. "Or Koji and Kouichi! They're like yin and yang, and alike all at the same time!"

"How does that even make sense?" Takato scrunched up his face in confusion.

"They're like total opposites because Kouichi's sweet and Koji's sour, but they're also alike in the way that they're both introverted," Mimi nodded.

"Wow! Mimi knows words that have more than 4 letters in them?" Rika sarcastically gasped.

"Rika," Tai had a warning tone in his voice.

"Or even Izzy! He's a ginger," Mimi pointed to Izzy.

"A ginger? That's all I am now?" Izzy crossed his arms.

"Well, you are," Mimi said. "Did you see your hair? Wait, that's a stupid question. If you saw your hair, you'd probably fix it."

"Hey!" Izzy yelled.

"How about me?" Matt said.

"You're not a host, which means you're not a man! So butt out!" Mimi growled.

"Dammit Tai! Look, I don't want to be in your host club, and I never will, so please stop trying to train Mimi to force me to join, because it's NOT going to work!" Matt stomped his foot.

"I swear, I didn't put her up to anything! She's doing this all on her own! Swear to Agumon!" Tai said.

"Then there's Takato! He's manly in an adorable way! Who could resist him, especially with that smile of his? He's a total charmer!" Mimi squeezed Takato in her arms.

"There's just a problem. We can't make Keenan the cute one because Takato's already got that part," Sora said.

"And Keenan isn't that cute...," Davis said. "He reminds me of Jun."

"How?" TK asked.

"I'm scared that if I make a wrong move, this kid's going to rip me up with his fangs," Davis whispered.

"I wasn't going to make Keenan the cute one! Keenan is his own kind of man...a wild man!" Mimi said.

"Me no wild!" Keenan grunted and knocked Mimi down to the ground.

"Gahhh!" Mimi fell backwards, but Sora caught her.

"Me no waste time on stupid you! Me run out time! You all morons!" Keenan yelled and ran out of the science lab.

"What does he mean by that? Running out of time?" Kouichi stared at the doorway.

"I have no idea...," Tai rubbed his chin. "But we're going to find out!"

* * *

"I really don't care about stupid Keenan, so why do I have to dress up in this stupid middle-school uniform?" Rika crossed her arms.

"Because Tai said he had pictures of you in a dress and he would show everyone if you didn't do what he said," Takato said.

"Where did Big Hair get these photos from?!" Rika hissed.

"Gah! Don't look at me! The only time I've seen you in a dress was when you wear your uniform, except you're wearing a skirt, which is kinda like a dress...," Takato rambled on nervously.

"Hmph," Rika crossed her arms. "Your school has the stupidest looking uniforms ever. I feel like a crackheaded, stupidfaced version of Sailor Jupiter."

"Shhh!" Takato put his finger to his lips. "We don't want Keenan to find out we're following him."

"Oh, gimme a break!" Rika rolled her eyes and casually followed Keenan to his classroom.

"Rika!" Takato silently gasped and followed her inside.

"Be quiet!" Rika hid behind the teacher's desk. Takato crawled underneath the table and sat next to Rika. They peeked out of the desk to see Keenan sitting in the back corner with his teacher.

"Keenan, can you tell me why you did that?"

"Me hate everyone!"

"Keenan, you're acting as immature as a kindergartener, and you can't stay in this class if you keep acting like this. If you don't start behaving by the end of the week, you will be sent to the special class. Is that understood?"

"No."

"That's it. I give up. It's settled. I don't know what else to do with you! You don't have a chance of staying in the same grade as all of your classmates. I'm done here," the teacher got up from his chair and walked out of the room.

_*Bang*_ "Owww..."

"Takato!"

"There who?!" Keenan yelled.

"It's us," Rika pulled Takato up from underneath the desk.

"Get out!" Keenan effortlessly picked up a student desk and threw it at Rika.

"Gaaah!" Takato fell on his back.

"Listen kid!" Rika dodged the desk in time and stomped over to Keenan.

"Rika...," Takato said cautiously

"Don't you ever throw anything at me! Got it?!" Rika grabbed Keenan by his collar.

"Hmph," was all Keenan said.

"We're done here," Rika threw Keenan back and walked away.

Takato stole a glance at Keenan, who was rubbing his arm and looking down on the floor. "Keenan? Are you okay?"

"Hmph," Keenan grunted.

"Okay," Takato said nervously. "I'll see you around then...bye."

* * *

"So that's what he meant?" Tai asked.

"Yeah. I overheard his teacher talking to him. He told Keenan that if he didn't grow up and act mature, he was going to the special needs class at the end of the week. The teacher didn't seem nice; it was like he was just putting Keenan down the entire time," Takato said.

"And we looked through his permanent records," Izzy said. "It turns out that his parents lost him as a baby, so he grew up to be a feral child. He was just reunited with his parents a couple of months ago."

"Wow. Poor kid," Sora frowned.

"I might just have an idea!" Tai smiled.

"I don't think I'll like where this will be headed," Izzy sighed.

"Why do you guys always say that?" Tai crossed his arms.

"Remember the Hos Club posters?" Koji waved a flyer in the air.

"You still have that?" Kouichi gasped.

"There was that one time where you-," Sora began to say.

"That was a rhetorical question!" Tai plugged his fingers into his ears. "I'll be back!" In an instant, he dragged Keenan into the science lab.

"Let go! Let go!" Keenan squirmed.

"No!" Tai sat Keenan down on a chair and tied him down. "When you said you wanted to be a man, you didn't mean that you wanted to be like me, did you? You just didn't want to act like a little boy anymore. What you wanted was to act mature and fit in with your classmates, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Keenan said.

"We can help you out! By the time Friday comes around, you'll be able to stay in your regular class!" Tai declared.

"Tai, can we speak to you for a minute?" Izzy motioned Tai over.

"Sure," Tai said. "What is it?"

"I don't think one week is enough time to get Keenan to be on the same developmental stage as his peers," Izzy said.

"He's right. We can't fill his head up with empty promises," Sora whispered.

"Who said we're filling his head up with empty promises? I know we'll be able to help Keenan out if we give it our all!" Tai said.

"I don't know," Sora looked to her side.

"Come on! Can you give me a little faith? I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" Tai shrugged.

"He could be sent to the special needs class," Sora answered.

"But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try!" Tai said.

"I guess you have a point there," Sora bit on her thumbnail.

"I know we can do this if we just do the best we possibly can!" Tai said. "Don't you want to help Keenan?"

"Okay. So what's your plan?" Izzy said.

"Everyone! We're going to shut down the host club for the rest of the week!" Tai yelled.

"Yes!" Rika smiled.

"Not so fast! We're still going to be meeting up here after school! We're just not going to open our doors to the clients," Tai said.

"Then what's the point of being here?" Koji huffed.

"We're going to help Keenan out so he can stay in his normal classes. If we don't do something, he could be going to the special needs class, and I'm not going to let that happen!" Tai pounded his fist against his palm.

"You mean it?" Keenan looked up at Tai.

"Yes!" Tai grinned at him. "Keenan! You are going to take a crash course in how to be the average fifth-grader!"

"Because Tai acts like a fifth-grader in the first place," Koji muttered.

"So here's how we're going to break this down. Izzy, do you mind meeting up with Keenan an hour before school and teach him proper grammar?"

"How about TK? He's really good at English. He gets A's on all of his essays," Davis said.

"I don't mind," TK said. "Besides, I already show up to school early because of Matt."

"Perfect," Tai gave him a thumbs-up. "Takato, do you want to teach Keenan how to be friendly? You guys share the same lunch period, and I think you would be the perfect person for Keenan to follow."

"Sure," Takato blushed.

"Rika! I need you to be Takato's bodyguard, just in case," Tai said.

"How do you expect me to do that when I go to a different school?" Rika asked.

"I can take care of myself," Takato said.

"And if you can't, there's always Henry," Rika said.

"Who's Henry?" Tai asked.

"He's the-," Kouichi got cut off.

"It doesn't matter who Henry is. We're supposed to be focusing on Keenan," Sora said.

"Right! Okay, so Keenan, after classes, we are all going to meet up here and we'll review and train you on other things, like etiquette and anger management. We can do our absolute best, but we won't achieve anything if you're not willing to work hard. Do you want to do this?" Tai asked Keenan.

"Yes! Me want! Me really want!" Keenan nodded.

"Remember, you have to try your hardest. If you really want this, then you can't give up. You have to be determined and focused," Tai said.

"Me will, me will! Me promise!" Keenan said.

"It's 'I promise', not 'me promise'," TK corrected.

"When do me use 'me' word?" Keenan asked.

"You use 'I' when you're talking about you doing something. You use the 'me' word when you're talking about everything else," TK explained.

"How?"

"I see we'll be off to a good start," Koji said.

"Koji, we really don't want your sarcasm," Tai said.

"Actually, for once, Koji means what he said. Trust me," Kouichi said.

* * *

_Friday..._

"I'm exhausted," Mimi yawned.

"It's for Keenan's good," Tai said. "Show us what you got kid!"

"Like what? I'm still trying to remember everything I learned in the past couple of days," Keenan said.

"Your speech has really improved," Sora nodded in approval. "You're a very fast learner."

"You think so?" Keenan lit up.

"Yes. You really are a bright kid," Izzy agreed.

"I always knew you had potential," Tai said.

"Really?"

"Yes. I wasn't going to give up on you, like everyone else was. You're stubborn, just like me," Tai said.

"Just like Tai," Izzy droned.

"I'm so proud to have you as my little apprentice," Tai ruffled Keenan's hair.

"Really?" Keenan asked.

"Of course! Now are you ready to prove your teacher wrong?" Tai said.

"Me read-I mean, I'm ready!" Keenan said.

"You're doing better each and every day," TK said.

"Thank you all for encouraging me to be better," Keenan said. "Everyone didn't want to bother with me, but you kept helping me even when I was being a pain."

"Yeah yeah yeah, enough of the sappy talk," Davis smirked. "Time for you to show 'em all what you got!"

"Thanks everyone," Keenan waved bye to everyone and walked inside his classroom.

"You know what?" Tai rubbed his chin.

"What?" Mimi looked at Tai.

"I felt good about helping Keenan out. I think our host club could make a difference in people's lives," Tai said.

"We already do...," Koji snorted.

"I think he means positive differences," Kouichi said.

"Tai's right though. We can bring more of a meaning to the host club past flirting with our clients. We can be a place where we can boost people's self-esteem, where everyone can feel welcome and be comfortable in themselves," Sora said.

"I think we're doing a good job with Mimi. She looks very comfortable right now," Takato pointed to Mimi, who was peacefully sleeping on the floor.

"Ha hah hah hah hah!" everyone giggled.

_*RIIIIING*_

"Time for us to get to class," Tai said.

"I've got her. I don't want her to be late to our Computer Networking class," Izzy picked Mimi up and carried her in his arms. "See you guys at lunch."

"How is Izzy strong enough to pick Mimi up?" Tai asked.

"More like, how is Mimi in a computer class?" Sora looked puzzled.

"The world will never know," TK shook his head.

"So what should we do after school today?" Sora asked.

"The world will never know...," Koji rolled his eyes.

"Shut up," Rika said.

"Rika?! Aren't you supposed to be at your school? What are you doing here?" Tai jumped back.

"The world will never know," Davis and Koji said at the same time.

"Okay, I'm leaving," Rika frowned and walked away.


	7. Jungle Gym SOS!

**Author's Note: Thank all of you guys for reading and reviewing! I'm so happy you guys like this story! Just seeing what you have to say is the reason I push myself to keep on writing *hearts***

**Jungle Gym SOS!**

"Give yourselves a pat in the back. Especially you, Tai. Today is the one-month anniversary of our club opening," Izzy said. "Frankly, I'm surprised we lasted this long."

"So I'm not the only one who thought that," Koji snorted.

"Be quiet," Kouichi nudged him.

"Takato came up with a great idea for our end-of-the-month activity. Wanna tell everyone?" Izzy asked him.

"Sure. I was thinking that we could throw a fundraising event and all of the proceeds would go to Bread Basket Samaritans," Takato said.

"Bread Basket Samaritans? Isn't that your family's bakery?" Rika raised an eyebrow.

"No! Bread Basket Samaritans is a food bank. My parents donate their day-old bread, and other restaurants and supermarkets donate food too, but lately Bread Basket isn't doing too well. More and more people can't afford food, but there isn't enough food at Bread Basket Samaritans to give everyone. I was thinking that if we raised some money, it might help our community a little," Takato said.

"That's a really sweet and thoughtful idea," Sora said.

"So how are we going to raise the money?" Tai asked.

"Don't worry about that. Me and TK have that covered! We decided to take some stuff off of Izzy's plate and we made the reservations!" Davis puffed his chest out.

"We should stop by to plan how we should set up the place for the fundraiser," TK suggested.

"Oooh, I love interior designing! Can I come too?" Mimi squealed.

"You are the unofficial host manager. I don't see a problem with that," Sora said.

"Besides, we could definitely use your input," Tai said.

"So we'll head there after we close?" Kouichi asked.

"Why not? The sooner, the better," Tai said. "We're open for business!"

"Right," Mimi took a pink binder and opened the door. "Oh...it's you."

"I'm happy to see you too, Mimi. Why can't you be nice to me?" Matt leaned against the doorway.

"Because you're awfully suspicious," Mimi narrowed her eyes at him.

"You really need to start trusting your friends better. Look, I even brought $5 without you asking!" Matt handed her the money.

"You're still suspicious! I'm watching you," Mimi pointed two fingers at her eyes and then pointed them at Matt.

"Is it me or do you think it's crazy that I willingly pay you guys to verbally abuse me? Aren't we all friends?" Matt sighed.

"Isn't that what friends do?" Tai whacked Matt on the back.

"I'm surely getting my money's worth in abuse," Matt rubbed his back.

"Oh Matt," Sora giggled.

* * *

"So this is it! Tada!" Davis jumped in front of the building.

"Oh. My. God," Kouichi stared at the building in shock. Koji and Matt burst out in laughter.

"I knew I shouldn't have let you tag along!" Tai kicked Matt in the shin.

"Are you freaking serious?" Rika scoffed.

"Please tell me this is a joke," Takato's jaw dropped.

"It's Davis...so it's not a joke. At least not to him," Sora grimaced at the building.

"Izzy? Are you okay? Your face is starting to get redder than your hair," Mimi bit her lip at the sight of a fuming Izzy. "Never mind, you're getting purple now..."

"Izzy...say something. You're starting to scare all of us," TK stuttered.

"ARE YOU GUYS KIDDING ME?! I SAID LUCKY THREES, NOT CHUCK E. CHEESE!" Izzy shouted.

"Ohhh...Lucky Threes," Davis said. "I swore you could have said Chuck E. Cheese!"

"Don't worry! We can still fix this! We'll head over to Lucky Threes and reserve that place for Saturday," TK said in a soothing tone.

"You know what...," Izzy breathed in deeply and began to go back to his normal color. "I'm okay...I'm okay. Everything will be fine. This time, we're going to reserve the spot in person. Now."

"Yeah! Let's get going guys!" Tai clapped his hands and gestured everyone into an SUV. "Now I remember why I agreed to let you come along," he put his hand on Matt's shoulder.

"Sure, I'm reduced into being your chauffeur, but trust me, it's worth it," Matt smirked. "Chuck E. Cheese. Priceless," he laughed to himself as he pulled his car keys out of his pocket.

* * *

"What do you mean you're booked?!" Tai pounded his fist on the host's podium.

"What do you think it means?!" the maître d' pulled his stand back away from Tai. "Now if you don't get out of here, I'm going to call the cops."

"Sorry about him. He gets a little annoyed when things fall apart," Sora apologized for Tai.

"You see, we were going to throw a fundraiser dinner here for the Bread Basket Samaritans," Takato said.

"But some dumbasses ended up making reservations for Chuck E. Cheese," Rika smirked at TK and Davis.

"Hey! Anybody could have made that mistake! Chuck E. Cheese sounds a lot like Lucky Threes!" Davis protested.

"Not really," everyone, including the maître d', said in unison.

"Sorry that things didn't go as planned but there's nothing I can do about it. The best you can do is convince someone to let you take their reservation," the host said.

"Can you tell us who put in a reservation for next Saturday from 6 to 11 pm?" Izzy asked.

"I'm not really supposed to hand that information out, but if it's for a good cause...," the host scribbled on a slip of paper. "Good luck, kids."

"Thank you," Kouichi nodded to the host.

"So who's reserving the spot?" Mimi peeked over Izzy's shoulder.

"Tai, you're not going to believe this...," Izzy handed the scrap of paper to Tai.

"Tamaki Suoh?!" Tai yelled.

"This day just gets better and better," Matt laughed.

"There's no way in hell I'm gonna beg him for anything!" Tai stomped around the sidewalk.

"Come on, Tai! Can't you swallow your pride for once? Just ask this Tamaki guy if we can take his reservation. How bad could this guy be?" Sora said.

"You have no idea," Tai growled.

"He's a pretty cool guy once you get to know him. Tai's just being dramatic," Matt said.

"That's because you get along with jerks!" Tai yelled. "You can relate to them because you're a big jerk yourself!"

"So I'm a jerk? Fine! I'll show you what a real jerk can do!" Matt hopped inside his car and drove out of the parking lot.

"Did he just leave us here?" Takato's jaw dropped.

"Look what you did, Tai!" Sora slapped Tai on the back of his head.

"So...," Kouichi kicked a pebble. "This is going to be a nice walk home."

"Who said we're walking anywhere?" Davis put his hands on his hips.

"Well, we don't have much of a choice unless Izzy invented a teleport and brought it with him," Koji scoffed.

"Did you bring a teleport with you?" Mimi asked Izzy.

"Oh brother," Rika rubbed her temples.

"How about we call a taxi?" TK suggested.

* * *

"Wow, are you sure this is a school?" Sora marveled.

"This is soooo pretty!" Mimi gushed.

"It's not that big a deal," Rika scoffed.

"That's right. For a second, I forgot you go to a snot school too," Koji said. "You're probably the valedictorian at the Snot Academy."

"At least I can spell valedictorian," Rika scoffed.

"Shut up guys. I don't want to be here any longer than I have to. Let's just do what we have to do and go," Tai slid his hand down his face. "Now where did you say their club's at?"

"I would tell you, but I'm a jerk so...," Matt put his hands in his pockets.

"I think you proved your point when you ditched us at the parking lot," Sora angrily huffed.

"Matt, I don't mean to be rude but why are you here if you're not going to help us?" Takato said. "You didn't even give us a ride."

"Seriously. If it weren't for Mr. Matsuki, we wouldn't even be here right now," Izzy crossed his arms.

"I'm just here to visit some friends. Is that so wrong?" Matt smirked.

"It's wrong when you don't let us carpool with you," Kouichi said.

"Forget it! Good for him. I didn't even want to trapped in a car with a jerkface anyways," Tai turned his nose up in the air.

"Good, you got your wish," Matt stuck his tongue out.

"Grremphgrr," Tai gritted his teeth.

"Where is this host club's lair anyways?" Koji asked.

"Music Room #3," Matt said. "I can't remember how to get there though. This school is so big."

"Hey! Let's ask her! She looks like she goes to school here," Davis pointed at a girl with long light brown hair. She was wearing a silly yellow dress and she had a ridiculously big pink bow in her hair.

"What is up with your schools having stupid uniforms for girls? And I thought the Odaiba uniforms were bad," Rika made a face.

"Hey girl!" Davis ran over to her. "Do you know where Music Room #3 is?"

"Whaddya know? I'm headed there so you guys can follow me!" the girl squealed. "Matt? Is that you?"

"Renge! Hi," Matt walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"You guys know each other?" Sora frowned.

"Yeah! She's like the manager of the Ouran Host Club," Matt said.

"That's right! And don't you forget it!" Renge held her hand up in a peace sign.

"Oooh! I'm the manager of the Odaiba Host Club!" Mimi said.

"Really? That's so cool! I like what you did here," Renge nodded at the boys. "I see you've got the typical jock, the mischievous friends with overly bromantic tendencies, the silent but strong twins, the super cute kid, the guy's girl, the girl with a dark side, the ginger-"

"Seriously? Is that all you guys think of me?" Izzy crossed his arms.

"..." everyone silently stared at Izzy.

"You're the ginger who always fixes my messes?" Tai shrugged.

"So you're basically Tai's ginger bitch," Koji said.

"Seriously?" Izzy ran his fingers through his hair.

"You didn't let me finish!" Renge stomped her foot. "I was going to say you were the ginger with smarts! You are the true brains behind this whole operation...kinda like my boyfriend, Kyoya!" she sighed.

"I have a feeling that she and Mimi would get along very well...too well," Sora mumbled.

"And I love how you managed to wrap it all up with a rock god," Renge looked at Matt.

"Nonononono, I'm not one of them," Matt corrected.

"Oh...good news for Tamaki then!" Renge clasped her hands together. "Follow me! The boys would love to see you again!" she said to Matt.

"Cool," Matt nodded. "You guys tagging along?"

"So now you want to have us around," Tai rolled his eyes.

"What's up with him?" Renge frowned.

"Ignore him," everyone said at the same time.

"I can't wait to see your host club! Do they all wear matching suits? Are the boys cute?" Mimi asked.

"You'll see," Renge winked. "So this is it!" she grabbed the doorknob and pushed the giant doors open. A gust of rose petals blew in everyone's faces.

"Nice touch. Making a mental note of this: get flower petals," Mimi tapped her pointer finger against her head.

"Welcome," a group of boys sat in front of the door.

"Hey boss, looks like we've got some guests," Hikaru and Kaoru stared at everyone.

"Don't be shy, step inside!" Tamaki flourished.

"And I thought Tai was creepy," Koji whispered into Rika's ear.

"Hello my dearest," Tamaki held up a rose and handed it to Mimi.

"Hi," Mimi blushed and giggled.

"Matt!" Honey ran up to Matt and hugged his leg.

"Honey-senpai," Matt ruffled Honey's hair.

"Senpai?!" the rest of the Odaiba crew shrieked.

"I'm Mitsukini Haninosuka, a third-year student, but everyone calls me Honey except for Mori-chan here," Honey said.

"Hm," Mori grunted.

"Why hello," Kyoya walked up to everyone. "What's the pleasure of having you here?"

"Isn't he sooo dreamy?" Renge sighed.

"Meh. Not my type," Mimi twirled her rose between her fingers.

"Look buddy! You took our spot!" Tai jabbed his finger in Kyoya's chest.

"Oh really? Would you mind elaborating?" Kyoya nonchalantly stepped back.

"Let me do the talking," Izzy hissed at Tai.

"Fine," Tai pouted and crossed his arms.

"We were planning to host a charity benefit at Lucky Threes this Saturday, but we had a little mix-up and by the time we went to make the reservations, the time slot we wanted was taken," Izzy explained.

"How tragic!" Tamaki put his hand on his chest. "We must do something about this! Commoners giving to charity when they barely have money themselves! It breaks my heart!"

"Just because we don't spend money on frivolous things like you guys, doesn't mean we're dirt poor," Haruhi said.

"Kyoya! We must help them out!" Tamaki said in his infamous princely voice.

"And how do you propose we do that?" Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

"Uh...," Tamaki froze.

"Maybe you can let us take your reservation," Izzy suggested.

"I could, but we already put in our deposit, and it's non-refundable," Kyoya adjusted his glasses.

"What a coincidence! The deposit at Chuck E. Cheese is non-refundable too!" Davis gasped.

"What," Izzy gave Davis a cold stare.

"Yeah!" Davis nodded his head.

"Izzy...your face is turning purple again," Mimi nervously picked at her nails.

"You know what? I'm going to let this go," Izzy breathed in deeply. "I am not a hothead like Tai, I am not a hothead like Tai..."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Tai growled.

"So we just lost $400," Takato's voice cracked.

"Who said you lost $400?" Tamaki said. "I've got the perfect solution. It's so perfect I bet even Tai will love it!"

"How can you guarantee that?" Tai clenched his fists.

"Because you have a naturally competitive personality," Kyoya looked at Tai with his piercing eyes.

"How about we fight for the reservation?" Tamaki said.

"Okay," Tai rolled up his sleeves and positioned himself in a boxer's stance, holding his fists in front of him.

"No, not that kind of fighting," Tamaki shook his head. "I'm talking about which host club can attract more people."

"I'm down with that," Tai nodded. "Our club will definitely kick your club's ass!"

"If we're going to do this, we definitely need to make some guidelines," Izzy said. "For starters, it's pretty obvious that your entry fee is astronomically higher than ours is."

"If you're saying you want us to lower ourselves to your level, then forget it!" Hikaru turned his nose up in the air.

"Yeah, we're not going to cheapen ourselves to make you feel better," Kaoru said.

"Oh yeah?! Say it to my face, say it!" Tai yelled.

"They did," Rika said.

"That's not what I'm trying to say. Hear me out, I think we should keep track of the number of people by using tickets, that way one club doesn't have to compromise our pricing to accommodate the other. To prevent over-inflation, we will cross-reference the names with our current yearbooks so that no team is trying to make up fake clients. From there, we will divide the number of people by the amount of money made, so that the end result should be the original entry rate for one person. Also, only one ticket per person is valid on each day."

"I think I should be insulted that you think our club would try to cheat," Tamaki gasped.

"Tamaki, I'm not worried about_ your_ club doing that," Izzy glared at Tai.

"Fine, then the team who brings in the most tickets takes the reservation at Lucky Threes!" Tamaki declared. "Deal?"

"Wait! How about we make things more interesting?" Davis said.

"How?" Tamaki rubbed his chin.

"Since our deposit at Chuck E. Cheese is non-refundable too, we don't want to put that to waste. How about the loser gets Chuck E. Cheese?" TK said.

"Deal," Kyoya stated.

"Let's shake on it!" Tamaki extended his hand to Tai.

"I'm not touching your hand!" Tai shot Tamaki a look of disgust.

"You're so childish," Izzy huffed. "Deal," he shook Tamaki's hand.

"Great! We'll meet up here to look at the figures?" Tamaki said.

"Sure. Friday after school," Izzy said.

"Good! Now let's get out of here!" Tai whistled and motioned everyone over.

"Kyoya, why did you agree to the Chuck E. Cheese thing?" Haruhi looked up at Kyoya.

"Just like the blond said. Let's make things a little interesting," Kyoya flashed an evil grin.

"I'm gonna love this," Matt leisurely paced around the boys.

"So who are you rooting for?" Honey asked.

"You guys of course! It'll be so funny to watch them lose," Matt smirked.

"Now that's the spirit, honorary host!" the twins patted Matt on the back.

* * *

"We can do this! We're gonna beat those snobby guys!" Tai slammed his fist on the palm of his other hand.

"Snobby? I think that tall, blond guy was super dreamy...almost like a prince. He's sooo handsome," Mimi goofily grinned.

"Just remember, it's not about winning or losing," Sora said.

"That's right. The important thing to keep in mind is to raise the money for the Bread Basket Samaritans, no matter where the venue," Izzy raised an eyebrow at Tai.

"Why do you look at me like that?" Tai said innocently.

"Because you get carried away," Koji said.

"And you seem to really hate those guys," Kouichi said.

"Which I don't understand. They're weird but they seem okay, well except for the guy with the glasses. He gives me the creeps," Takato cringed.

"They all give me the creeps. Especially those twins...they remind me of Davis and TK," Rika commented.

"Oh really? Do they do stuff like this?" Davis pressed TK against him. "I love it when you're so close to me like this. It feels like we're one person, together in body and spirit," he gently stroked TK's cheek.

"I don't know if they do that! They probably don't, because they're twins and that would be incest. Twincest," Rika grimaced.

"Okay! I don't want to think about that, unless the twins are hot broads, preferably blonde and Swedish," Tai plugged his fingers into his ears.

"Oh Tai," Sora closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead.

"Seriously...Mimi, you can open the door now," Izzy groaned.

"Oh...it's you again," Mimi pouted.

"Don't worry, I'm not here to bother you. I just stopped by to say that I'm not going to show up here for this week," Matt said.

"What? We need you to show up more than ever," Izzy tapped his clipboard. "You come here everyday, why stop this week?"

"I'm boycotting your club.," Matt had a smug look on his face.

"Are you doing this to piss me off?!" Tai yelled.

"I'm friends with the Ouran boys too! Besides, pissing you off is a nice bonus," Matt smirked. "But I'm mainly supporting them because they're good friends to me, not like another club I know..."

"Come on, Matt! You know I'm just playing with you," Tai nervously laughed.

"Nope, nice try. Well, good luck with your little competition. Adios," Matt stood up straight and walked down the hallway.

"That BASTARD!" Tai growled. "How can he betray us like this?!"

"I don't blame him," Sora said.

"WHAT?! How can you say that?" Tai shrieked.

"You were pretty mean to him, what did you think he was going to do? I'm pretty sure if you didn't abuse him all of the time, he wouldn't choose sides," Sora put her hands on her hips.

"How can you turn this around on me?!" Tai yelled.

"I have a feeling that Matt's up to something. Keep your eyes open," Izzy sighed.

"Oh trust me, I will," Mimi squinted and looked at the hallway.

"He's not pulling a trick on you guys," TK said.

"How would you know?" Rika sneered.

"Because we're brothers...," TK looked at her.

"That doesn't mean anything! Just cause you're brothers, that doesn't mean you know each other that well!" Tai snapped.

"I'm pretty sure it does," Sora said.

"No. Me and Koji didn't know each other until last year. Before that, we didn't know each other existed," Kouichi said.

"How could you not know your own twin?" Davis gasped. "You were born together for crying out loud!"

"It's a long story," Koji said.

* * *

"Have you ever thought of putting your hosts in cosplay?" Renge squealed.

"Like costumes, right?" Mimi asked.

"NO!" everyone yelled.

"But it seems like so much fun," Mimi whined.

"I don't see the big deal. I liked our outfits," Davis wrapped his arm around TK's waist.

"I didn't," Takato frowned.

"They complain wayyyy too much, so we had to stop wearing them," Mimi said. "I have pictures though!"

"Oooh! I'd love to see!" Renge scrolled through Mimi's camera.

"I'm bored...," Hikaru droned.

"Me too...," Kaoru said.

"Wanna eat some cake with us?" Honey perked up.

"Mmm cake," Mori said in monotone.

"It's pretty good," Matt shoved a huge piece of cake in his mouth.

"Nah, that's so...ordinary," Kaoru said.

"We're bored, we're gonna find something else to do...," Hikaru and Kaoru sang.

"Ooh! Let's break into Shibayama's locker!" Hikaru said.

"Yeah! I bet he has chocolate inside," Kaoru nodded.

"He'll totally blow a gasket when all of his candy's gone! Bye everyone!" Hikaru said. Kaoru followed him out.

"I think we were pretty successful, if I do say so myself. After we told everyone that the proceeds were going to charity, the number of clients doubled," Izzy counted the tickets.

"That's not too good. Our numbers stayed the same. Is that right, Kyoya?" Tamaki hovered over Kyoya like a puppy.

"Yes, we didn't have any major changes in the amount of clients," Kyoya blandly said.

"So who's winning?" Tai said.

"It's not about winning," Tamaki said.

"That's what the loser says," Tai pounded his fist on Izzy's shoulder.

"What was that for?!" Izzy rubbed his shoulder.

"Sorry, I thought you were the table," Tai blushed.

"Hmm, we've counted and double-checked to make sure," Kyoya rubbed his chin. "And the results are very interesting..."

* * *

"Rocking party, huh?" TK leaned against a wall, with a cup of soda in his hand.

"Rocking," Rika rolled her eyes.

"Eeeeeee! Tommy! I'm gonna get you!"

"Then try to get me! Nyah nyah!"

"Ugh!" Mimi screamed. "I just dropped this soda on my new dress!"

"Nobody told you to wear it here. You were asking for it," Koji grunted.

"Look what Matt just sent me," Sora sighed.

"Ugh! That guy really pisses me off, even when he's not here!" Tai yelled.

"He looks like he's having more fun than us," Kouichi looked at the picture of Matt standing in front of Lucky Threes with the Ouran Host Club.

"Come on! Look at the bright side! I've won all of these tickets!" Davis held fistfuls of tickets up in the air.

"Son," a stranger tapped Davis on the shoulder. "Get your own tickets."

"I did! It's not my fault your kid was stupid enough to leave them behind," Davis scoffed.

"Do you know who you're talking to?" Takato stuttered.

"That's right, Mr. Motomiya."

"Uh-oh...the only person who calls me that is...," Davis's eyes grew big.

"Principal Sampson," the man said.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" Davis dropped the tickets and ran out of the building.

"Guys? Help! I'm tied to the jungle gym!" Izzy called out. "Hello? Is anyone listening?"

"How about we try to beat the high score in Road Rage LA?" TK suggested.

"Sounds like fun!" everyone followed TK to the arcade game.

"SOMEBODY? I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!" Izzy shouted.


	8. The Sun, The Sea, and The Host Club!

**The Sun, The Sea, And The Host Club!**

"So I was thinking...," Tai said.

"Uh oh, Tai's thinking," Koji said.

"You know that's only going to lead to trouble," Sora said.

"Hey! But listen! Since it's gonna be September 1st this Saturday, we should go to the beach!" Tai proposed.

"Why?" Takato raised an eyebrow.

"Because it's the last day we can actually go to the beach! Wouldn't it be fun to go?" Tai asked.

"That sounds amazing!" Mimi gushed.

"I haven't been to the beach at all this summer," Izzy pondered.

"Me neither," Sora rubbed her chin.

"What did you guys even do the entire summer?" Kouichi asked.

"I worked and went to a tennis camp," Sora put her hands on her hips.

"Just computer stuff," Izzy said sheepishly and blushed.

"I would love to but I...have to do...bonding stuff with my mom. Yeah, that's what I'm doing...," Rika made up an excuse.

"That's okay! We called your mom and she said it was perfectly okay!" Davis grinned.

"You did what?" Rika snarled.

"Yeah, we called up everyone's parents to let them know our plans! That's called being responsible," TK nodded.

"Please tell me you're joking," Koji gritted his teeth.

"Yeah, so your parents are gonna drop you off at Izzy's-" Davis began to say.

"When did I agree to this?" Izzy crossed his arms and tapped his fingers against his upper arm.

"The same time you agreed to be the president of the host club?" Sora shrugged.

"Not funny," Izzy huffed.

"From there, Tai will borrow Matt's van!" Davis said.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Did someone just mention my name? I must join in on the conversation!" Matt slinked his way inside the lab room.

"Do you have five bucks?" Mimi held up her palm.

"Are you serious? I thought business hours were over," Matt said.

"Hey buddy!" Tai put his arm around Matt's shoulders. "What's up?"

"Nothing's up with me, but what are you up to?" Matt gave Tai a suspicious look.

"Nothing, just the usual," Tai blushed. "_Sohowboutyouletusborrowyourv an_?"

"What?" Matt hissed. "All I heard was borrow and van."

"Can we borrow your van for Saturday? Pretty please?" Mimi batted her eyelashes.

"Why...?" Matt said slowly.

"We're planning to go to the beach because it's the last day it'll be open," Sora said.

"Oh really? I gotta think about this," Matt rubbed his chin. "I don't know...no. I like the way that sounds, knoooow..."

"No?" Tai scoffed.

"Know," Matt replied.

"No what?" Takato asked.

"Know," Matt smiled.

"What?" Rika hissed.

"Precisely!" Matt laughed. "I tell you what! I'll let you use the van, but on one condition: I get to go to the beach with you guys," Matt said.

"Are you gonna ditch us in a parking lot like last time?" Takato asked.

"Noooo! Only a jerk would do something like that!" Matt put his hand to his chest.

"You did that. Last week," Sora huffed.

"Okay, so I turned a new leaf! I am no longer the jerk I used to be! I'm a new-and-improved Matt, and to prove it to you, I'll do my first good deed and take you to the beach!" Matt declared.

"What do you want in return?" Izzy smirked.

"Mimi can't charge me to hang out with you guys outside of business hours," Matt said.

"Deal," Tai blurted.

"Then it's a date! See you at Izzy's on samedi! Bonjour!" Matt casually walked out of the classroom.

"He's not passing French, is he?" Sora asked TK. TK slowly shook his head.

* * *

_Saturday..._

"Everyone's here except for Rika," Mimi said.

"She's probably not showing up. Let's just leave," Matt fished around in his pockets for his keys.

"NO!" Tai yelled. "We can't leave without her!"

"Why? She didn't even want to come in the first place. If we keep waiting for her, it'll be night time," Kouichi said.

"I think she's hiding something from us," Tai said.

"What makes you say that?" Sora gave Tai a funny look.

"She doesn't want to hang out with us during her free time, and she always looks like she can't wait to escape from us," Tai reasoned.

"Can you blame her? We're a pretty 'eccentric' group of people," Izzy said.

"I don't know. I feel like there's more to it than that...," Tai trailed off.

"And maybe you're right," Davis smirked.

"And maybe you're certainly right!" TK said.

"You're not making any sense," Izzy snapped.

"What if we told you that Rika's got a dirty little secret?" Davis stuck his hand in TK's back pocket.

"It's a good one too," TK held his index finger up in front of his lips.

"Tell me, tell me, tellmetellmetellmetellme!" Mimi bounced up and down in place.

"What if we told you someone close to one of us host club members was a model?" Davis wriggled his eyebrows.

"Shut up! Get out of here!" Matt gasped.

"I gotta see this!" Kouichi's jaw dropped.

"Pictures or no proof," Koji crossed his arms.

"Then we gots lots of proof. BAM!" Davis pulled some photos out of TK's back pocket and abruptly put them away.

"What the hell?" Koji spat.

"We didn't even see anything!" Takato scratched his head.

"That's because we don't want to ruin the surprise for you!" TK said.

"These pics can be all yours for the low, low price of...drumroll please," Davis said.

"Got it," TK made drumroll sound effects, pretending to be a drummer.

"Whoever can find one of Rika's weaknesses gets to win these awesome pictures," Davis boomed. "And just to make things fair, Takato can't participate in this game."

"I don't know much about her personal life, except that she lives with her mom and grandma," Takato said.

"You're still disqualified," TK said. "Are you other guys in or out?"

"I'm so in!" Tai gave the boys a thumbs up.

"Count me in too!" Mimi flailed her hand in the air.

"I don't know. This is kinda messed up...," Sora frowned.

"But wouldn't you wanna know what sets her off?" Tai asked. "She acts so tough all the time, but I bet there's something that she's scared off."

"I'm not taking any part in this," Izzy shook his head.

"Well, I am!" Koji smirked.

"Me too," Kouichi said.

"Me too what?" Rika stood at the door of Izzy's apartment.

"Sorry I was late! The traffic was terrible, and we missed our train twice!" Rika's mom tried to catch her breath.

"I told you I didn't want to come," Rika clenched her fists.

"Oh, nonsense! You know I'll take you anywhere you need to go!" Rika's mom giggled. "Shoot! I'm gonna be late! Have fun, Rika!" and like that, she bolted.

"I hate you guys. A lot," Rika breathed in deeply. "Especially you, Takato."

"Gah?! What did I do?" Takato spazzed.

* * *

_The Beach!_

"Whoo hoo!" Davis and TK ran across the sand and jumped into the water.

"I don't know what you're gonna do, but I'm gonna scope out the ladies," Matt winked. He was wearing red boarding shorts and a white tank with a red cross on it.

"Isn't impersonating a lifeguard illegal?" Takato looked at Matt with concern.

"It can't be as bad as Tai pretending to be an FBI agent," Matt said.

"Pretending? You wish! You see, I work for a special division of the FBI, which stands for Federal Boobie Inspector," Tai tugged at his heinous tee.

"Doofs," Rika scoffed.

"Ditto," Sora sighed.

"You won't say that when we bring back some hot broads!" Tai grinned.

"Yeah. Good luck with that," Izzy shook his head in disgust and went back to his notebook laptop.

"We don't need luck when we have charm!" Matt said in a posh voice.

"We'll catch you later!" Tai ran off.

"What's the point of going here with you guys if we're not going to be together?" Kouichi asked.

"Don't complain about that. You should be thankful," Koji snorted.

"Mmm, this is the life! Sipping cherry soda, enjoying the sea breeze-," Mimi reclined on a folding beach chair. "Hey, why aren't you guys in bathing suits?" she asked Sora and Rika.

"What's wrong with my boarding suit?" Sora said defensively.

"Look, isn't it enough that I'm here?" Rika grumbled. She was wearing a raglan tee with a blue heart on it, jean capris with belts strapped on the legs for no apparent reason, red high-tops, and a huge beach hat.

"I like the hat," Mimi commented.

Rika dropped the hat on the ground and walked away.

"Sheesh. I was only trying to be nice," Mimi pouted.

"Don't get upset. She's like that with everyone," Takato said.

"You guys can be downers, but just so you know, your attitudes won't stop me from enjoying the beach," Mimi huffed and whipped out a fashion magazine.

"Good for you?" Kouichi shrugged.

"Okay, seriously. Why did you drag us to the beach when you're doing the same things you do indoors? Dorkface is glued to his laptop, Princess Mimi's looking at a 'book' that has no words in it because she can't read, Sora's sitting around in a wetsuit that is dry, Kouichi's just sitting around, Rika isn't around, while Tai and Matt wander around acting like morons, and Takato's getting more roasted than a rotisserie chicken," Koji ranted.

"He's got a point. The only ones enjoying the beach is Davis and TK," Sora nodded.

"_Ahh! Get off of me!_" TK screamed.

"_You weren't saying that five minutes ago,_" Davis laughed.

"This sucks," Koji plopped face down on the sand.

"At least you found something to do. You can get a tan on the beach," Kouichi shrugged.

"Shut up," Koji's voice was muffled by the sand.

"I'm gonna walk around. I don't think Rika will mind if I borrow this," Takato picked up Rika's hat and put it on his head.

"You two," Sora yelled at Izzy and Mimi. "That's it! I'm taking these away!" she snatched up Mimi's magazine and Izzy's laptop.

"Hey! What are we supposed to do now?" Izzy snapped.

"Go have fun! You're not getting these back until the end of the day," Sora scolded.

"I am having fun...dreaming about a handsome, blond stud," Mimi dreamily looked toward the water.

"Who? Matt?" Sora made a face. Mimi didn't reply back.

"Can you at least put my laptop inside the bag?" Izzy gave Sora a Ziplock bag.

"Dork," Koji said, with his face still in the sand.

"What? I don't want to get sand inside my laptop," Izzy said.

"Dork," Koji repeated.

"I don't know why I waste time trying to explain anything to you. Go eat some sand. I'm gonna take a nap," Izzy huffed.

"Mmm, sand," Koji sarcastically said.

"I'm gonna rent a surfboard," Sora said.

"I'll come with you," Kouichi said. "I'll grab some snacks."

"Oh my gosh, guys! You'll never believe what happened!" Davis ran over to them.

"What? You actually used your goggles for their actual purpose?" Koji snorted.

"Yeah, but that's not it," Davis adjusted the goggles on his head.

"What happened?" Sora asked.

"TK doesn't know how to swim!" Davis began to laugh.

"What? No way," everyone gasped.

"Yes way! But when he comes here, don't tell him I said anything. Just act normal," Davis whispered.

"Hey guys! _*cough cough cough*_ What's going on?" TK pounded on his chest.

"Davis just told us that you don't know how to swim," Mimi giggled.

"D'oh!" Davis gave himself a facepalm.

"Well, he's wrong. I so do know how to swim!" TK crossed his arms.

"Okay then. Prove it," Koji picked himself off the sand.

"Nah, I'll do it later. I don't feel like going back into the water," TK sheepishly rubbed his arm.

"If you say so," Sora shrugged. "Kouichi, coming along?"

"Yep," Kouichi got up and followed Sora.

"So you don't know how to swim?" Mimi asked.

"Can we just not talk about this anymore?" TK blushed.

"It's okay if you don't know how to swim. I can always teach you. All you have to do is move your body in one smooth movement, and I know you're good at that," Davis winked.

"Are you gay?" Koji blurted.

"What makes you think that?" TK gasped.

"Really? Do you really have to ask that?" Koji asked.

"Just for the record, we are not gay. We just have a deep, intimate friendship," Davis said.

"It's like he's penetrating me, and vice versa," TK added. "That's how close we are."

"Gross," Koji grimaced.

"Hey guys! I'm back!" Takato dragged a net full of beach toys with him.

"Why did you get toys?" Koji asked.

"I figured we could build sandcastles or whatever," Takato shrugged. "And I was getting bored."

"Oooh, sandcastles sound like fun!" Mimi squealed.

"I like building sandcastles! I used to be so good at it," TK grabbed a shovel.

"Let's make something cool!" Mimi hugged TK's arm.

"I don't know what you're doing, but I won't say anything if you don't," Koji stared at Davis.

"Shh...," Davis held up a bottle of sunscreen and hovered over an unconscious Izzy. He squirted the bottle and drew a happy face on Izzy's stomach. Izzy shuddered a little, but for the most part, he was still asleep. "As long as he stays in that position, it'll turn out right."

* * *

"I would have brought my surfboard with me, but it wouldn't have fit in Matt's van anyway," Sora huffed as she handed the cashier money.

"Thanks dudette," the cashier casually chewed away at a lollipop stick.

"Kouichi, did you find something yet?" Sora walked over to the snack cart.

"I'm not sure if I should get an orangeade or not. I never had one before," Kouichi pondered.

"It's pretty good," Sora said.

"Hey kid, you're holding up the line!" the vendor barked.

"What line?" Sora and Kouichi turned around to see nobody behind them.

"I don't see anyone," Sora frowned.

"Unless you're talking about the people standing 200 yards away from us," Kouichi shrugged.

"Just make up your mind quickly," the vendor grunted.

"Okay," Sora said. "We decided that we want...to buy our snacks somewhere else. Come on, Kouichi."

"Bah! I don't need your allowance money. Go waste it on your arcade games," the vendor slammed the metal door shut.

"I didn't want your food anyways. You smell like soy sauce!" Kouichi spat back.

"He did," Sora nodded in agreement. "There's a snack bar across the street if you're interested. I can take you there."

"Sure," Kouichi said as they walked up the hill and to the other side of the street.

"Hey kids, how can I help you?"

"Can I get a corn dog and orangeade?" Kouichi said.

"Corn dog will be ready in two! As for the orangeade, I only have the large cups left," the vendor frowned.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll take a large," Kouichi said.

"Here you go! Take care," the vendor handed him the snacks.

"So what do you think?" Sora watched Kouichi take a sip of his orangeade.

"This is the best thing ever!" Kouichi beamed. "Hey sir, can I get another one?"

"Already done?" the vendor was shocked.

"Yeah," Kouichi shook his empty cup.

"Here ya go," the vendor handed him another cup.

"Uh, I take that back. Can I get five more?" Kouichi asked.

"Coming right up!" the vendor said.

"Aww, that's nice of you to buy some for your friends," Sora gushed.

"Who said these were for them?" Kouichi sipped some more orangeade.

* * *

"_Hey! Hey you! Turn around!_"

"Hey Matt, I think he's talking to you," Tai nudged him.

"Huh? Hi, what?" Matt turned around to face a blond man in a tuxedo and sunglasses.

"I wanted to talk to your friend over here," the man took off his glasses and pointed them at Tai.

"Sure, what?" Tai gulped.

"Are you part of the FBI?" the man said.

"Yuh-yuh-yeah, why do you ask?" Tai stuttered.

"We've got a wild one lurking in the beach somewhere. I was sent from Hypnos to investigate more into this matter, and I just wanted to talk to an agent to see how far you've progressed," the blond man said.

"Whoa whoa whoa, what kind of FBI are you talking about?" Tai gave the man a strange look.

"The Federal Bureau of Investigation," the blond man eyed Tai suspiciously.

"Oh, sorry. You got the wrong FBI agent then. I'm part of the Federal Boo-"

"He's a moron who likes to advertise that he's Full-Blooded Irish," Matt nudged Tai in the gut. "Get it! FBI? Full Blooded Irish?"

"Really? You don't look Full-Blooded Irish to me," the blond man frowned.

"Everyone's Irish on St. Patty's Day!" Tai said in a terrible Irish accent.

"Right. And you," the man pointed his glasses at Matt. "Aren't you supposed to be on that platform right now?" he pointed to an empty lifeguard chair.

"I uh...I just got out from my shift?" Matt uptalked. "That way I could spend more time with my genuinely Full-Blooded Irish friend," Matt put his hand on Tai's shoulder.

"Okay then, carry on," the man put his glasses back on and walked away.

"That was scary," Tai grimaced.

"Tell me about it. Hey, didn't that guy kinda look like an older version of TK?" Matt asked.

"I was just thinking that, well after I pissed myself a wee bit," Tai spoke in his horrible Irish accent.

* * *

"Pinkbelly now?" Davis eagerly bounced in place, with his hand up in the air. He was standing over a sleeping Izzy, who was lying on his back.

"No, too soon," TK shook his head.

"Just give it ten more minutes," Koji said.

"Wow, someone's being so helpful!" Davis mockingly gushed.

"Shhh, you'll wake him up!" TK hissed.

"Hey guys, what's a pinkbelly? It sounds cute," Mimi asked.

"We'll find out soon enough," Takato moved his head to get a better view of the boys.

"Shhh, shh, shhh! You're gonna wake him up!" Davis whispered.

"You're the one who's gonna wake him up. You're so loud!" TK whispered back.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! He's moving!" Davis frantically stomped in place and flapped his hands.

"What's going-"

"PINKBELLY!" TK and Davis yelled in unison.

_*SLAP!*_

"OWWW! What was that for?!" Izzy sat up.

"We were bored," TK shrugged.

"Couldn't you have found something better to do?" Izzy snapped.

"Yeah, but you're so fun to hang out with!" Davis said.

"Especially when you're sleeping," Mimi nodded.

"Aww, you got some sunscreen on you!" TK brushed his hand against Izzy's abs. "I wonder how it got there, heh heh!"

"Hmmm," Izzy raised an eyebrow. "I'm gonna find Sora."

"Oh my gosh, that is one horrendous tan line!" Mimi giggled.

"Can you call it a tan line when he's sunburned?" Koji scoffed.

"When do you think he'll notice?" Takato asked.

"Who knows?" Davis and TK said.

* * *

"Hey babe! You're under arrest!" Tai held up a bogus badge to a pretty, dark-haired girl.

"For what?" the girl winced.

"For stealing my heart! I'm gonna have to take you into custody and examine you even more," Tai winked.

"Uh...," the girl stared blankly at him.

"As an FBI agent, I take these matters very seriously," Tai had a smug look on his face.

"Are you really an FBI agent?" the girl frowned.

"Duh! Why else would I be wearing an FBI shirt?" Tai said. "As a Federal Boobie Investigator, I'm commanding you to turn over those bazookas! Only a trained professional like me knows how to handle them."

"You pig!" the girl slapped him in the face and ran away.

"Ha ha ha ha ha! I'll give you a B+ for effort," Matt howled.

"Shut up!" Tai rubbed his sore face. "Hey, is that Izzy over there?"

"That guy has a lot of girls all over him, so it definitely can't be Izzy," Matt reasoned. "Need some ice? For that BUUURN?"

"Shut up!" Tai tripped Matt. "But yeah, I could use some ice. She almost slapped the face out of my face."

* * *

"Hmmm," Sora looked out toward the water. The sky was gradually turning grey, the waves began to crash harder against the water, and Sora could feel a small breeze coming on. "The calm before the storm," she mumbled.

"_NOOOOO!"_

"Kouichi?" Sora lugged her surfboard around and raced toward Kouichi. He was surrounded by mountains of empty juice cups and he was holding on to the window frame.

"Look kid! Don't get me wrong, I love having your business but I just don't have any more orangeade! You drank all of my inventory," the vendor flustered.

"Then go buy some more oranges!" Kouichi screamed.

"How? It's not like I can ship them from Amazon," the vendor trembled.

"That's why supermarkets were invented!" Kouichi slammed an empty cup against the counter.

"Kouichi!" Sora yelled.

"Step aside, miss!" a police officer lightly moved Sora to the side.

"You should get going! Only trained professionals can take over a situation like this!" another police officer ran past her, with a taser in his hand.

"But-," Sora looked stunned.

"Gahhhh! I know what you're doing! You're hiding the rest of the oranges from me!" Kouichi screamed.

"Why would I do a thing like that?" the vendor put his arms up to shield his face.

"Because you don't like me!"

"Stop right there, young man! You're under arrest for harassment and disorderly conduct!" one of the police officers pulled out handcuffs.

"You narc!" Kouichi tried to reach over the window.

"You best stop resisting us," the police officer locked the handcuffs on Kouichi's wrists.

"I'm not resisting anyone!" Kouichi kicked the police officer in the shin.

"Ahhhh!" the police officer screamed in pain and dropped to his knees.

"Come on kid!" the other police officer tried to grab Kouichi's arm but Kouichi kicked him in the face.

"I'm not doing anything wrong! I just want my freakin' orangeade!" Kouichi screamed.

"I was hoping not to do this, but it's the last resort," the police officer took out his taser.

_*click click BUZZZZZZ click click!*_

"Umph," Kouichi collapsed to the ground.

"Kouichi!" Sora gasped.

"You know this kid?" the police officer asked.

"He's my friend," Sora replied.

"Well, we're gonna keep your friend in custody for now, at the station a couple of blocks away," the other police officer slung Kouichi over his shoulder.

"This has to be the seventy-sixth time this week someone overdosed on orangeade," the police officer sighed.

"This is the worst," Sora rubbed her forehead.

* * *

_*BOOM*_

"Is that thunder?" Takato looked up at the grey sky.

"It looks like it's gonna rain. Hopefully everyone gets here soon," TK said.

"Yeah, because I'm not gonna get up and find them," Davis relaxed on a beach chair.

"It's so windy! I was so not prepared for this weather," Mimi slipped into her sundress.

"I don't think any of us are," Takato said.

"Guys! Pack your stuff! We have to get out of here!" Tai ran over to them. Matt followed him at a slower pace.

"Took you long enough to say that," Koji said. "That's what I've been saying since I got here."

"Tai's only upset because he got slapped by a bunch of girls," Matt smirked. "He's just mad because his pickup lines suck."

"They did not suck! I think the whole FBI thing was clever!" Tai protested.

"Not when FBI stood for Federal Boobie Inspector," Matt laughed.

"Uh...," everyone stared at Tai.

"What are you guys doing hanging around like sitting ducks!" Izzy panted. "Start packing!"

"Did your pickup lines suck too?" Koji smirked.

"What? No! On the contrary, I found it odd that a lot of girls wanted me to take pictures with them," Izzy said.

"It has nothing to do with his pickup lines as much as his tan lines," Takato stared at the happy face tan line on Izzy's stomach.

"What are you talking about?" Izzy said.

"Look," Mimi poked him in the stomach.

"How did that get there?!" Izzy spazzed.

"We don't know. Maybe God did it?" TK and Davis looked at each other and smiled mischievously.

"Guys guys guys!" Sora ran up to everyone. "Kouichi's in jail!"

"What?!" everyone screamed in unison.

"I'll explain later! Let's just bail Kouichi out!" Sora said. "Quickly!"

"Seems like everyone's here," Tai looked at everyone.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, te-, wait, we're missing one. Where's Rika?" Izzy did a head count.

"Hey you!" a man dashed over to Matt.

"Hi...," Matt asked.

"We need your help! There's a girl drowning over there! She was surfing and a strong wave knocked her down!"

"What?" Sora gasped.

"We told her it was too dangerous to go surfing, but she ignored up and went in the water anyways!" the guy heaved.

"That sounds like something Rika would do," Takato said.

"Rika!" Davis exclaimed.

"What are you doing standing here? You're a lifeguard, aren't you?!" the guy yelled.

"Funny story...," Matt blushed.

"Are you impersonating a lifeguard, because I don't see anything funny about that!" the guy scolded Matt.

"No! I mean I'm not a real lifeguard, but I'm not impersonating one. I-I-I'm...I'm just shooting a movie a couple of blocks away!" Matt fibbed.

"You're playing a lifeguard in a movie? You're not that attractive enough to play one," the guy winced.

"Hah hah!" Tai whacked Matt on the back.

"This is just great! You guys are completely useless! There's a girl out there in danger, and all you're doing is laughing and joking around! I need to find someone helpful!" the guy grunted.

"Move out of the way!" Koji pushed everyone to the side and ran off.

"Koji! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Tai chased after him.

"_I'm_ going to be helpful," Koji snorted.

"You don't even know what you're doing!" Matt said.

"At least I can do better than you! Now stop following me!" Koji kept running.

"This isn't the right time for you to joke around like that! You're gonna get hurt too if you don't know what you're doing!" Izzy ran after Koji.

"Like you guys could do any better," Koji jumped into the water. The tide started to get more violent and a huge wave crashed against him.

"Koji!" Tai yelled and went to rescue him.

"Give me that umbrella!" Izzy barked.

"What are you gonna do with that?" TK handed the umbrella to Izzy.

"No time for questions," Izzy grunted as he roped several beach towels to the umbrella. He ran into the water and swam against the current.

"This is the worst! Get back here!" Sora called out to the boys.

"Let go of me!" Koji moved Tai's hand out of his shoulders.

"What were you thinking? You could have been hurt!" Tai yelled.

"Whatever," Koji scoffed.

"No! Not whatever! You're not as tough as you set yourself to be. You can't do everything on your own!" Matt screamed.

"Huh?" everyone looked at each other in shock.

"You don't know me at all," Koji turned his back to Matt.

"Please! I was you!" Matt thrust his finger against Koji's chest. "I thought I could do everything on my own! That I was better off being by myself because all people did was get in my way! It took me a long time to realize that there was nothing wrong with depending on others, that it was okay to get closer to others, and to have friends by your side! Sure, some people come and go from your life, but there are others who will stay by your side, no matter what!"

"Psh, whatever. I'll be waiting by the van," he picked up his clothes and walked off.

"Fine! Walk away, cause you know I'm right!" Matt yelled after him.

* * *

"Rika!" Izzy called out, clutching on to his makeshift buoy.

"Go. Away!" Rika gasped for some air. "I'm. Fine."

"Because drowning isn't life-threatening or anything," Izzy retorted. "Seriously, hold on to this!"

"I don't! Need any! Help!" Rika struggled to keep her head above the water.

"Then prove it! Swim to me!" Izzy yelled.

"Ugnh!" Rika frantically paddled in the water, but she was stuck in place.

"I thought so. Now stop being so stubborn and grab on!" Izzy yelled.

"Hmph," Rika reluctantly reached for the umbrella as Izzy pulled and carried her back to the shore.

"Guys!" Sora ran over to them. "Are you okay?"

"I am, but I don't know about her," Izzy gently laid Rika on the sand.

_*cough cough cough*_ Rika turned to her side and coughed.

"Rika? Are you okay? How many fingers am I holding up?" Davis asked.

"What does it matter? It's not like you can count how many fingers you have up," Rika croaked.

"She seems okay to me," Mimi frowned.

"_*cough cough*_ I'm fine _*cough cough*_," Rika sat up and pounded on her chest.

"Good, because we have to bail Kouichi out of jail," Sora said.

"*_Hkkkk_* What?!" Rika coughed.

* * *

"Here you go," a police officer unlocked the jail cell and pushed Kouichi out. "He got off easy this time, but he better not do that again!"

"Oh, trust me. We'll keep an eye on him," TK and Davis grabbed each of Kouichi's wrists.

"Here's a check for $500," Izzy scribbled on a checkbook.

"I'm putting too much trust in you guys, so this better not bounce. Otherwise, you're all going in the slammer," the police officer threatened. "Also, since you guys impersonated a lifeguard, sexually harassed women, and can't control your orangeade intake, you guys are banned beach for six months. Got it?"

"I think we can live with that," Tai looked at everyone.

"Yeah," everyone nodded. "Fair enough."

* * *

"Man, all this troublemaking sure works up your appetite," Tai noshed on another butter roll. "More bread please!" he held up an empty basket to a waitress.

"Again? Your assigned waiter hasn't even come by to take your order yet," the waitress huffed and snatched the basket out of Tai's hand.

"I love you," Tai cooed.

"I'm...I'm gonna get some fresh air," Rika dropped her cloth napkin on the table and walked out.

"Ugh! This is some terrible service! We've been sitting here for five minutes and our waiter still isn't here," Mimi crossed her arms.

"Just be patient. It is pretty crowded here," Sora said.

"But I'm tired of eating bread and water. What am I? In jail?" Davis whined.

"Hey guys, look at today's special! A fish burger, made from fresh crab meat and topped off with squid purée and white chocolate sauce," Takato made a face.

"That sounds gross," TK made a face.

"I'm gonna order it," Koji smugly said.

"Are you just ordering it to spite TK?" Kouichi asked.

"What? Do you think I only do things to piss off people?" Koji stared at his brother.

"Yeah...," Kouichi nodded.

"Here's a shocker for you. Sometimes I do things because I want to do them, not because I'm trying to go against what everyone says," Koji said. "And besides, I like seafood."

"Eww, seafood's gross," Mimi made a face.

"Then why did you agree to eat here?" Matt asked.

"Don't worry about her. Just look at your menu," Sora huffed.

"What? Are you mad that I'm asking Mimi a simple question?" Matt picked up his menu.

"Mimi, there's a whole bunch of burgers and chicken entrees on the second to last page," Sora ignored Matt.

"Who eats burgers at a seafood restaurant? That's like eating fried chicken at a Chinese restaurant or eating pasta at a steakhouse!" Tai scoffed.

"It's been fifteen minutes. I'm gonna check on Rika," Izzy checked his calculator watch and got up from the table.

* * *

"Rika?" Izzy peeked his head out of the entrance door.

"What? Want to brag about how you saved me from drowning?" Rika snorted.

"Huh, what?!" Izzy stepped out of the restaurant and sat next to Rika on the sidewalk.

"Go ahead, shove it in my face! O_ooh, Rika needed help because she's a weakling,_" Rika mocked.

"Where did you get an idea like that? Look, I was just checking to see if you're okay," Izzy said.

"Well, I'm not!" Rika shook in anger. "I shouldn't need anybody's help! Only weaklings need help. I should be capable of things by myself."

"There's nothing wrong with getting help from people," Izzy said. "Everyone needs help sometimes."

"Really? Everyone always asks you to bail them out, but when was the last time you asked for help?" Rika shot back.

"Uh...well, I don't recall. But that's different," Izzy said.

"Why? What are you trying to say? Because I'm a girl, I'm supposed to be defenseless?" Rika snapped.

"No! Stop putting words in my mouth! That's not what I'm saying at all!" Izzy exclaimed.

"Then what are you trying to say?" Rika looked at Izzy with piercing eyes.

"It's not about keeping score. Like it or not, eventually you're gonna need to run to someone," Izzy said.

"And when have you needed to depend on someone?" Rika asked.

"Uh...," Izzy blanked out.

"Face it, nothing comes to your mind. You of all people should understand what I'm thinking. We're the same," Rika said in snotty tone.

"How are we the same? We're nothing alike," Izzy looked back at her.

"Everyone expects us to clean up the messes they start. That's how I ended up being in this club in the first place," Rika scoffed.

"That's how I ended up being president of this club," Izzy chuckled. "But admit it, being a part of this group is not as bad as you thought."

"I wouldn't go that far, but I guess there's some truth in that," Rika snorted.

"Alright. Well, I'm headed inside. You should go inside soon too," Izzy got up from the sidewalk.

"Yeah, in a minute," Rika stared at the parking lot in front of her.

"_Hah hah hah hah hah!_"

Rika turned her head back to see the host club laughing and having a good time. "Those doofs," she said to herself, cracking a small smile. She picked herself up and walked inside the restaurant. "Hey, what did I miss?" she casually said.

"Nothing out of the ordinary. Davis is a moron, Tai's a moron, Matt's a moron-_OWW_! Who kicked me?!" Koji rubbed his shin.

"And Koji's still a jackass," Matt concluded.

"You doofs," Rika shook her head.

"You just came right on time. The waiter was gonna take our orders, but we wanted to wait for you first," Sora said.

"Thanks," Rika shrugged and took a seat next to Takato.

"Hi! Sorry I took so long, it's pretty busy," a handsome waiter walked up to the table. "Is everyone here?"

"We sure are," Mimi purred and twirled her hair.

"How bout I start you guys off with something to drink?" the waiter said.

"What do you have?" Kouichi asked.

"We have cola, lemon-lime, ginger ale, root beer, iced tea, lemonade, orangeade, coffee-,"

"Did you just say orangeade?" Kouichi had a huge grin on his face.

"NO!" everyone jumped on top of him and pinned him down to the ground.

"Shut up!" Davis gagged Kouichi with a biscuit.

"I want orangeade," Kouichi struggled to say.

"No! You've had more than enough!" Sora yelled.

"Water for everyone it is," the waiter shrugged and walked away.

"What's the harm in a little more orangeade?" Kouichi tried to say.

"That's it! You're going straight to rehab after dinner!" TK sat on Kouichi's stomach.

"Gahhhh!" Kouichi moaned.

"Doofs," Rika smiled and shook her head.


	9. A Challenge From The Spice Girls!

**A Challenge From The Spice Girls!**

"Sora... _Sorrrra_... _SORA_!"

"What?! Can't you see I'm in the middle of a conversation?" Sora sprang up from her seat.

"It's okay. Go see what Tai wants. I don't mind waiting," Matt said.

"Stupid Tai," Sora grumbled as she stomped her way to him. "What do you want?" she huffed.

"Can you be a doll and get us some more instant juice? I would ask one of the boys, but they're all busy entertaining our guests," Tai shook an empty can of Kool-Aid.

"And I'm not? Why can't Mimi get it?" Sora asked.

"She's keeping guard of the entrance," Tai said.

"Then why not Rika? She's not doing anything," Sora pointed to a sulking Rika.

"I don't want to send her out to the convenience store by herself! She's too young! What if something happens to her?" Tai said.

"Okay, fine. I'll do it," Sora said.

"Sweet! Here, I need you to get 3 cans, preferably fruit punch, grape, and orange. Oh, and get yourself something nice too," Tai gave her a $10 bill.

"Grrrr... I'll be right back," Sora gritted her teeth.

"Tai, you could have just sent me out to do that. I wasn't doing anything," Izzy said.

"Yeah, I know, but I needed to Sora away from that skeezeball," Tai crossed his arms.

"Are you talking about Matt?" Izzy tapped his pencil against his clipboard.

"No! What makes you think that?!" Tai laughed nervously.

"Hmm...," Izzy gave Tai a skeptical look. "It's only going to be a matter of time."

"Ha! That's the same thing your parents told you when you didn't hit your growth spurt!" Tai stuck his tongue out.

"Seriously?" Izzy sighed and walked out of the room.

"It was just a joke! Please come back!" Tai said.

"No."

* * *

"Stupid Tai and his 'instant juice'! Couldn't he just call it Kool-Aid like every normal person does?" Sora grumbled as she held on to a heavy paper bag.

_*rip*_

"Crap! I knew I shouldn't have bought those fat cakes!" Sora got down on the sidewalk to retrieve the jars of powdered juice. "No! Don't roll over!"

"Funny. That has to be the first time I heard someone say that."

Sora saw a foot step on one of the jars and she looked up from the ground. "Yolei? Kari? Girl I don't know?"

"Her name's Zoe," Yolei looked at Zoe.

"Hi, I'm Sora," Sora introduced herself to the girl.

"Why were you chasing after Kool-Aid?" Kari asked.

"I was doing some errands for Tai," Sora got up from the pavement.

"Here," Zoe picked up a jar and handed it to Sora.

"Thanks," Sora said. "So what are you guys up to?"

"We're trying to get a girl group together for our talent show," Kari said.

"But isn't the talent show in the springtime?" Sora looked confused.

"Yeah, but it's never too early to start practicing. And we do plan on winning the talent show," Yolei said.

"Here, you don't want to forget these," Zoe picked up a package of fat cakes.

"Thanks," Sora took the snack cakes.

"So why is winning the talent show important to you guys?"

"The winning act gets to perform on the late night show! Do you know how many people watch that?" Yolei said.

"Not really. I'm usually asleep by the time the show starts," Sora shook her head. "Well, good luck! I have to get back to the host club before Tai throws a hissy fit."

"Can we come with you? I want to see what this whole host club thing's about. I wonder what Tai's up to," Kari said.

"Isn't Tai your brother?" Zoe asked.

"Yeah, but I've actually never stepped foot inside the club. I think TK, Davis, and some new kids are part of the club," Kari said.

"Then what are we doing standing here? Let's go!" Zoe excitedly squealed.

"Alright then. Follow me," Sora said.

"I wonder what a host club does," Kari pensively said.

"Oh, it's pure debauchery!" Yolei sighed.

"You've been there?" Zoe asked.

"How is that possible when you make us meet up after school every day?" Kari asked.

"Uh... Remember that one time I faked sick?" Yolei bit her lip.

"Yolei...," Kari and Zoe groaned in unison.

* * *

"Here we are," Sora tilted her head toward the lab room. Izzy was outside the doorway, leaning against the lockers.

"Hey Izzy. What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be inside with everyone else?" Kari asked.

"I'm not going back inside until Tai apologizes to me," Izzy said.

"What did he do this time?" Kari sighed.

"He called me short," Izzy angrily said.

"..." all of the girls didn't say a word.

"You're not short! You're just not as tall as the other boys!" Kari said in the most unconvincing voice ever.

"Thanks. I appreciate your honest words," Izzy said flatly.

"Don't be so down! At least you're taller than me," Kari said.

"And me," Zoe added.

"And me-never mind! I'm just unusually tall for a girl," Yolei let out a nervous giggle.

"Izzy, you need to stop having these height issues. Why are you so concerned about how tall you are anyways? There will be a girl out there that will love you just the way you are, if that's what your worried about," Sora said.

"There's more of a chance that Bill Gates would quit Microsoft to work with Apple than there is a chance for me to find a girl that will 'love' me. Besides, I don't care about looking for love anyways," Izzy huffed.

"Really? Because it sounds like you care," Zoe gave Izzy a pity look.

"Just leave me alone!" Izzy yelled.

"Ahhh!" Zoe cringed behind Yolei.

"Sheesh, someone has a short fuse," Yolei blurted.

"Just go away!" Izzy screamed.

"Okay, okay. Come on, girls," Sora led them inside the lab room.

"Hey Izzy," Mimi poked her head out of the doorway. "Let's turn that frown upside down!"

"No."

"Why are you so mad?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Izzy said.

"Don't pay any attention to Tai! He's just mad that Sora's spending more time with Matt than she is with-oh my god! Oops, I wasn't supposed to say anything!" Mimi clamped her hands over her mouth. "Please don't tell Tai! It was supposed to be a secret!"

"I already know. Tai told me," Izzy let out a little chuckle.

"Hey Izzy. Guess what?" Mimi beamed.

"What?" Izzy turned his head to look at her.

"I made you smile," she grinned.

"Hey Mimi. Guess what?" Izzy walked up to her.

"Oooh, what?" Mimi giddily said.

"You have glitter gunk all over your face," Izzy swiped his finger against her cheek. "Ew. Why is it sticky?"

"Oh my gosh! How embarrassing! How long have I been walking around like this?" Mimi gasped.

"Beats me," Izzy shrugged. "What baffles me is how you got sticky goo on your face without noticing it."

"Shut up! You're horrible!" Mimi began to whimper.

"Now I truly feel better. Thanks Mimi!" Izzy smirked as he went inside.

"I hate you!" Mimi yelled.

* * *

"Looks like we've got some new clients...and Yolei," TK squinted his eyes.

"Kari!" Davis jumped out of his stool and ran over to her.

"Hey Davis," Kari stepped back a little.

"I'm so glad to see you!" Davis hugged her.

"Me too," TK also hugged Kari at the same time.

"How about a welcome kiss?" Davis slowly moved his head to kiss Kari on the cheek, with TK doing the same on the other side.

"TK, why is your face sticky?" Kari ducked. Not expecting that, the boys accidentally ended up kissing each other on the lips.

"Ahhhh! That is so hot!" a couple of girls screamed.

"I totally need to cool off!" Yolei fanned herself with her hand.

"What is wrong with the girls at this school?" Rika moaned.

"Hey guys," Sora said to the other hosts. "Here's some people I'd like you to meet. This is Yolei-"

"We already know who she is. She's the creepy, horny girl," Koji said.

"And this is Kari!" Sora said loudly before Yolei had a chance to protest.

"Hi Kari. I'm Kouichi," Kouichi blushed and bashfully waved at her.

"Hi Kouichi. Nice to meet you," Kari flashed him a warm smile.

"And this is Zoe," Sora said.

"Hi," Zoe said.

"_SOOOORAAA_!"

"Excuse me. I'll be back," Sora growled.

"So, what do you guys do in a host club?" Kari asked.

"Besides make out with each other," Yolei said.

"Whoa whoa whoa! We don't do that homo stuff," Koji said.

"That's kinda their specialty," Takato gestured to Davis and TK, who were cuddling each other. A crowd of girls surrounded them and squealed loudly.

"That's kinda weird. I never seen those two act like that before," Kari pursed her lips.

"So they don't act gay around you?" Kouichi asked.

"No. If they weren't in this host club, you would never imagine that they would be-uh, kissing each other...," Kari grimaced at Davis and TK's make-out session.

"So what you're saying is that they're gay for pay?" Kouichi looked confused.

"Because if they are, they're very convincing," Koji snorted.

"Too convincing," Rika groaned.

"Hey, who are you? I don't think we've ever met before," Kari asked.

_"She doesn't even go here!_" Izzy called out from the other side of the room.

"Yeah, because my uniform doesn't tell you that," Rika scoffed.

"Soh-_reee_," Yolei raised an eyebrow. "You know what, I like you! You're feisty!"

"And you're scary," Rika winced and walked away.

"Hmmm...," Yolei pressed her index finger against her chin.

"What's wrong?" Zoe asked.

"Nothing. Just thinking...," Yolei said.

* * *

"_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, make it last forever, friendship never ends! If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give, taking is too easy, but that's the way it is!"_

"What's that noise?" Takato clamped his hands over his ears.

"We can't open with that music playing loudly," Mimi pouted.

"It's probably the contemporary dance class being obnoxious again," Izzy sighed.

"I'll be right back. I'm gonna have a little chat with them," Tai rolled up his sleeves.

"Oh, there's no need for that!"

"Ahhhh!" everyone screamed.

"Yolei?! Kari?! Girl I don't know?!" Tai gasped.

"Her name's Zoe," Yolei huffed.

"What are you guys doing?" TK shrieked.

"And why are you dressed like... 90's pop stars?" Kouichi asked.

"Girls, hit it!" Yolei turned over to Kari and Zoe. Zoe held up portable speakers. Kari pressed the power button on and music started to play.

"_Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!_" Yolei sang into a karaoke microphone.

"_So tell me what you want, what you really, really want!_" Kari and Zoe sang.

"_I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah!_" Yolei sang back.

"What the hell...," all of the boys and Rika said at the same time.

"Is this a prank?" Kouichi croaked.

"No. We're just on a mission!" Yolei pointed to the ceiling.

"Uh...like a mission for God?" Takato looked up where Yolei was pointing.

"Enough with the tomfoolery! If you don't mind, we've got a business to run," Tai said.

"Tomfoolery? What are you? An old man?" Rika smirked.

"Shaddup!"

_"Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want-,_" Yolei burst into song again.

"So tell us what you want, what you really, really want," Kouichi said.

"Wow, you're good. If I could, I would totally recruit you for our group," Yolei gushed.

"Then why don't you?" Koji snickered.

"Because we're starting up a girl group!" Zoe explained.

"We're gonna call ourselves the Spice Girls," Kari excitedly nodded. "I'm Baby Spice, Zoe is Posh Spice, and Yolei's Scary Spice."

"Figures Purple Hair would be the scary one," Rika muttered.

"But why are you Baby Spice? Zoe should be Baby Spice because she looks more like her than you do, and you should be Posh Spice because you guys look alike," Takato said to Kari.

"Don't question my casting choices!" Yolei growled in his face.

"Gah! I'm sorry!" Takato spazzed out.

"We just need two more girls to make our group complete!" Kari said.

"So why are you here bothering us?" Tai crossed his arms.

"_Well, here's a story from K to Z, you wanna get with me, you gotta listen carefully! We got Kay in the place who likes it in your face, You got Zee like MC who likes it on a... easy me don't come for free_," Yolei rapped.

_"She's a real lady,_" Kari and Zoe sang.

"_And as all three, wait, you'll see!_" Yolei sang.

"_Slam your body down and wind it all around, slam your body down and wind it all around!_" Kari and Zoe harmonized.

"Please do...puh-lease do!" Davis had a goofy smile on his face.

"Take a picture! Davis's first heterosexual moment," Koji pulled out a disposable camera.

_"If you wanna run for cover, you gotta comprehend, you're not all that clever, but that's why you're all friends! If you wanna run for cover._..," Yolei sang.

"_You have got to give_," Kari and Zoe tied Sora and Rika up with ropes.

"What are you doing?!" Sora gasped.

"Let go of me!" Rika screamed.

_"Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is!_" Yolei blew a kiss to the boys as she pulled Rika and Sora out of the lab room.

"Bye!" Kari and Zoe waved before they closed the door.

"What the hell just happened?" Izzy slapped his cheek.

"I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure they called us stupid in a song," Takato said.

* * *

"Why did you kidnap us?" Sora wriggled in her seat.

"Just warning you: once you untie me, you're gonna get it," Rika threatened.

"Okay, so we won't untie you," Kari whimpered.

"We finally have the missing pieces!" Yolei laughed like a lunatic.

"I take back what I said! Let's make it even. Untie me and I won't hurt you. I'll just run away from you," Rika said.

"We've been looking far and long for a Sporty Spice and a Ginger Spice-," Yolei rubbed her hands together.

"Actually, we've only spent a day," Zoe said.

"Shush!" Yolei snapped. "But we finally found the right girls for the job!"

"You're not talking about us, are you?" Sora's eyes widened.

"Do you see anyone else tied up to a chair?"

"And I thought the host club was a freakshow," Rika muttered.

"Don't you dare compare us with that host club!" Yolei snarled. "We're classier, sexier, and more talented that those doofs!"

"Just listen to what we have to say, and then we'll let you go," Zoe said.

"Make it quick," Rika growled.

"We want you to leave the host club-" Kari said.

"Deal!" Rika interrupted.

"Wait, wait, wait! Let her finish!" Yolei wagged her finger in Rika's face.

"We want you to leave the host club so you can join our girl group," Kari said.

"And why the hell would we do that?" Rika spat.

"Because we won't make you do things like running our errands, like a certain big-haired jackass we know," Yolei said.

"I'm listening...," Sora nodded.

"Also we heard Rika's a good singer," Zoe added.

"What?!" Rika blushed.

"You sing?" Sora gasped.

"Who told you that?" Rika snapped.

"Let's just say I overheard a little gogglehead's conversation," Yolei smirked.

"I'm gonna kill Takato!" Rika screamed.

"Are you mad enough about that to let's see...quit the host club?" Yolei said.

"Hell yeah, I am!" Rika growled.

"And what about you?" Yolei asked Sora. "Does being there aggravate you more than make you happy?"

"Well...," Sora said pensively.

"Do you enjoy being surrounded by manwhores and having Tai tell you to do his work?" Yolei gave Sora a look.

"No, but...," Sora said.

"But what? Is there anything in it for you?" Yolei asked. "Or do you like breaking your back for the hell of it?"

"I guess you have a point there...," Sora said.

"And we have many more points coming up!" Zoe smiled.

"And once we finished listing off all of our points, I think the choice will be obvious," Kari grinned.

* * *

"Rika! Sora!" Tai pulled them close and squeezed them tightly.

"You're crushing me!" Rika shoved Tai away from her.

"I'm so glad you guys are okay! I thought they stuffed you in a trunk and sent you off to Mexico, where you guys would be piñata makers for the rest of your lives!" Mimi hugged them.

"That's quite an imagination there," Sora gently took Mimi's arm off of her.

"Look, we just wanted to let you know that we are no longer going to show up at the host club," Rika said coldly.

"What?! Why?!" everyone gasped.

"We talked with the Spice Girls, and they're right," Sora said.

"Right about what?" Tai crossed his arms.

"I just don't care for being in the host club anymore," Sora said.

"And I never liked being in it in the first place. I only came here to watch out for Takato, but now I don't care. I'm mad at him," Rika said.

"What did I do?" Takato flustered.

"Talk shit about me," Rika said.

"When did I ever do that?" Takato shook.

"Anyways, we just wanted to say goodbye," Sora said.

"Why?" Tai shrieked.

"Are you guys considering joining the Spice Girls?" Izzy raised an eyebrow.

"Possibly," Sora said.

"But WHY?" Tai gripped his head.

"Because I can't stand how you're always making us handling all your responsibilities!" Sora snapped.

"...," Tai blinked. "That is not true!"

"You're the one who came up with this club, but you never did anything but pass your little chores around to everyone else! I'm constantly doing snack runs, TK and Davis organize our events, Mimi takes care of the publicity and ticket sales, and Izzy works around the clock to run the club! If nobody knew better, they would think this club was all Izzy's idea!"

"That is true," Koji nodded.

"Hey! Stay out of this, Koji!" Tai barked. "You act like I haven't contributed anything. I've done stuff for this club too!"

"We're listening," Sora crossed her arms.

"Uh...I made those flyers," Tai puffed out his chest.

"You mean these?" Koji pulled out one of the Hos Club posters.

"You still have that?" Kouichi gaped.

"Koji, stay out of this!" Tai furiously pointed at him.

"Even when you help out, you only screw things up for this club," Rika took the flyer from Koji and waved it in Tai's face.

"And then you run to me and Izzy to fix it," Sora said.

"Can I get my flyer back?" Koji asked.

"Here," Rika handed it back to him. "I don't think we have to explain any more to you."

"So, good luck with the club. Bye," Sora motioned Rika over and they walked out of the door.

"Are they seriously leaving the host club?" Mimi's voice shook.

"Nah. They're just bluffing," Tai scoffed.

* * *

_One week later..._

"You still think they're bluffing?" Izzy smirked.

"It's been about a week now," Kouichi said.

"I tried talking to Sora, but she just turned around and ignored me," Tai sighed.

"I don't blame her," Koji said.

"Are you calling her again?" Takato asked.

"I'm just going to leave one more message," Tai tapped on his phone.

_*Ring...ring...CLICK*_

"Dee-_NIED_!" Davis jumped in front of Tai.

"Don't make me punch you," Tai clenched his fist and stretched his arm back.

"Ahhh!" Davis shrieked.

"Tai! Beating the crap out of Davis isn't going to get Sora and Rika back!" Izzy snapped.

"It might get Rika back," Koji muttered.

"That's true," Takato nodded.

"Lightbulb!" Mimi yelled.

"Lightbulb?" TK gave her a look.

"Yeah! I just got a bright idea! If we want to outdo the Spice Girls, we're gonna have to go extreme!" Mimi said.

"How extreme?" Takato asked.

"If you guys want Sora and Rika back, you're gonna have to do everything I tell you," Mimi stood akimbo. "And I mean everything."

* * *

"Let's just drop by and see what they want," Sora said.

"And then we'll practice?" Yolei impatiently tapped her foot.

"Whatever," Rika rolled her eyes.

"Fine," Yolei huffed.

"Why is this door being difficult?" Sora jiggled the door knob.

"Sora, is that you?" Tai called from the other side of the room.

"Yes," Sora said, irritated.

"Okay."

"We'll unlock the door," TK said.

"Just stay there for a minute," Davis said.

"When we say 'go', you can come inside," Tai said.

"Idiot," Yolei snorted.

"You can come inside now!" Izzy said.

"You're supposed to say 'go'!" Tai hissed.

"They get what we mean!" Izzy said.

"Shhh! Everyone shut up!"

"We're coming in," Sora opened the door.

"Why is it dark in here?" Zoe asked.

"Turn on the light," Davis whispered.

Kari reached for the light switch and flicked it on.

"Hello! Welcome to the Sailor Scouts HQ!" Mimi gushed. She was wearing a blue schoolgirl miniskirt and a teeny sailor top with a huge red bow pinned to the neckline. The other host club members were wearing the same outfit in different colors.

"AHHHH!" the girls screamed in shock.

"We have to save the world from evil-" Mimi said.

"Mainly the Spice Girls," Tai cut in.

"And we're short two Sailor Scouts!" Davis gasped.

"Are you making fun of us?" Yolei stamped her foot.

"I'm Sailor Moon!" Mimi pointed to herself.

"I'm Tuxedo Mask," Izzy droned.

"More enthusiasm!" Mimi jabbed her elbow in Izzy's gut.

"I'm Tuxedo Mask...," Izzy gasped in pain.

"And I'm Mini Moon," Takato awkwardly smiled.

"I'm Sailor Pluto...," Koji mumbled.

"I'm Sailor Saturn," Kouichi rubbed his arm.

"We're the lesbian 'cousins'!" TK and Davis held hands.

"I'm Neptune!" TK said.

"And I'm Uranus," Davis winked.

"I'm Sailor Mars!" Tai sprinted toward Sora and twirled around. "And we want you to join forces with us!"

"Hahahahahahaha! What on earth?" Sora cracked up.

"I need to take a picture of this!" Rika pulled out her cell phone.

"Hey guys, what's going-whoa!" Matt casually strolled into the classroom and jumped in surprise. "Somebody explain this!"

"It's easy! We're the Sailor Scouts, and we want Sora and Rika to complete our squad and become Sailor Venus and Sailor Jupiter!" Tai said.

"But you need three sailors...you're missing Sailor Mercury," Matt said.

"No we're not! Joe's Sailor Mercury. He just couldn't make it because he's in university and he kinda sorta definitely doesn't know he's a sailor...," Tai trailed off.

"How come Joe gets to be a sailor and I don't? Wait, what am I arguing about? I don't want to dress up as a naughty schoolgirl!" Matt yelled. "But it would at least be nice of you to ask me if I wanted to be a sailor, even though I'd say no anyways."

"What's the point if you would have said no anyways?" Izzy asked.

"Also, we didn't ask you because you're not a host," Mimi said.

"And Joe is?!" Matt shrieked.

"Yeah. He just doesn't know it," Tai said.

"He's like the 'ghost host'!" Davis said.

"This is so unfair," Matt crossed his arms and pouted.

"Okay, now back to you!" Tai pointed to Rika and Sora. "Whaddya say? Want to fight evil by moonlight?"

"Win love by daylight?" Mimi coyly held on to TK's arm.

"Never run from a real fight?" TK asked.

"You would never turn your back on a friend," Takato said.

"We could always there to defend," Koji unenthusiastically said.

"We are the ones on whom you can depend," Koiuchi said.

"So say yes already!" Davis bounced up and down in his sailor getup.

"What do you think?" Sora looked over at Rika.

"What do you think?" Rika smirked at Sora.

"Same thing you're thinking," Sora smiled.

"Have you made a decision?" Kari asked.

"In fact, we have," Sora said.

"And we're going to stay with the host club," Rika said.

"Really?" Tai squealed.

"Are you seriously going to choose those crossdressing idiots over us?" Yolei yelled.

"I'm with Yolei on this," Matt said.

"Shut up! Stay out of this," Tai threw a boot at him.

"Sorry, Spice Girls," Sora said.

"But we've already made up our minds," Rika smirked.

"And we decided to join our fellow Sailor Scouts!" Sora ran up to the boys and put her arms around them.

"I wouldn't go that far, but I'm certainly not leaving the host club," Rika said.

"Are you sure? Because this is the last time we're gonna ask you," Yolei said.

"We're positive," Sora said.

"Now bye!" Tai shoved the Spice Girls out of the room

"Tai, you better watch your back," Yolei pushed herself back into the doorway. "As for you," Yolei pointed at Sora and Rika. "We'll come back for you soon. We're not gonna give up that easily!"

"Okay, whatever you say," Tai pushed his palm against Yolei's head and shut the door in her face.

"I'm so happy you guys decided to stay!" Mimi clapped her hands.

"We just had to, especially after we saw how far you guys went for us," Sora said.

"And it was funny seeing you in miniskirts," Rika smirked. "I couldn't leave cause then I'd miss out on your idiotic schemes."

"Awww! I love you guys!" Tai hugged Rika tightly.

"Get off of me. You smell like drag queen," Rika heaved.

"I don't know why I come here. I just end up leaving with a headache," Matt shook his head. "Smell ya later!"

"He's just jealous because he gets left out," Tai said.

"Not our fault. He should have become a host," Mimi shrugged.

"_AHHHH_!"

"Is that Matt screaming?" Sora strained to hear.

"_You're not ginger or sporty, but I guess you could do!"_ Zoe and Kari said at the same time.

"_No! Get away from me!"_ Matt shrieked.

"It's okay if he doesn't want to be a host! He's got other offers," Tai chuckled.

"He could make a good Spice Girl. He is musically inclined," Izzy noted.

"_Gah! SOMEBODY HELP ME!_"

"Oh, Matt! Isn't he something else?" Sora shook her head.

"He sure is," TK nodded.

"Now that everyone's together, let's get down to business!" Tai said.

"Awww," everyone groaned.


	10. A Day in the Life of the Nonaka Family!

**A Day in the Life of the Nonaka Family!**

"Ahhh! My first day off in a long time!" Rika sat up on her shikibuton and stretched her arms out. "I could just go back to bed but I'd be wasting time that would be better spent downtown," she threw her kakebuton off and walked over to her dresser. "Gramma!"

"Is everything okay?" her grandmother dashed over and peered inside Rika's room.

"Where are my clothes?" Rika asked.

"I gathered all of the clothes together last night so that I could wash them today," Rika's grandmother said.

"Oh...," Rika sheepishly said. "But now I don't have any clothes to step out in."

"What about that darling outfit your mother got you from New York?" Rika's grandmother suggested.

"But it's..._pink_," Rika scorned. "I'd rather go outside in my pajamas."

"Suit yourself," Rika's grandmother hummed.

"Hey! I could just wear my school uniform," Rika ran over to her closet. It was nearly empty except for a wire hanger dangling on the clothing rod. "Drat...," Rika huffed as she stomped over to her dog bassinet. She didn't have a dog, but she enjoyed making Henry or Takato sit in it when they annoyed her. Rika dug underneath the cushioning until she got a hold of the dreaded pink fabric. "She knows I don't like this stuff, and she still buys it!" Rika winced at the pink sundress. "I guess it's not like I'll run into anyone today," she sighed as she pulled the dress on.

* * *

"Hey!" Tai smiled.

"What?" Izzy snapped.

"Why did you call us?" Koji said. Kouichi was standing next to him.

"Seriously! I was planning on sleeping in today," Sora yawned.

"I would have video-chatted you, but none of you guys are glued to your computers 24/7...well, except for Izzy," Tai said.

"Screw you. I'm hanging up now...," Izzy grumbled.

"No! Don't hang up yet! We've got a great idea and we wanted to tell you before we forgot!" Davis said.

"I'm not in a good mood, so cut to the chase," Izzy growled.

"Yeah, please! I don't have a lot of minutes left on my phone," Takato said.

"You don't have unlimited minutes?" Mimi asked. "I thought everyone had unlimited minutes."

"Not me. My phone's only supposed to be used for emergencies," Takato said.

"And this is an emergency!" Tai yelled.

"How is one of your stupid ideas an emergency?" Koji snorted.

"Did you end up sending someone to the hospital?" Kouichi asked.

"No," Tai said.

"Then bye," Izzy hung up his phone.

_*click*_

"I should get going too," Takato hung up his phone.

_*click*_

"How the hell did you even get this number?" Koji said before he hung up.

"Bye-" Kouichi was cut off.

_*click*_

"This did not go as well as I pictured it," Tai said.

"Why didn't you just group text everyone?" TK said.

"Because having a phone conference makes it sound more...important," Tai said.

"And what is so important that you had to wake everyone up?" Sora sighed.

"I was just going to tell everyone that we should go to Rika's house," Tai said.

"I don't think she'd like that," Sora said.

"Come on! Who doesn't like surprises?" Mimi squealed.

"Lots of people don't. I don't like surprises," Sora said.

"But wouldn't it be fun to visit a friend?" Tai asked.

"I don't think she considers you guys friends...," Sora said.

"Aww, pooh! She totally loves us!" Davis scoffed.

"Even if that's true, you guys don't even know where she lives," Sora said.

"But Takato does," Tai said. "We have to text everyone with the details!"

"Already on it! Text me back!" Davis hung up his phone.

_*click*_

"You guys are unbelievable! You're invading her privacy!" Sora yelled.

"You don't have to go. We were just letting you what we planned on doing today," Tai said.

"That's not what I'm saying! Don't get me wrong, I want to go too," Sora said.

"Then start getting ready! Davis is already mass-texting everyone else," TK said.

"Okay, I'll get ready. But I'm only going so I can make sure you guys don't misbehave, not because I'm nosy," Sora said.

"Sure...," Mimi laughed.

"Meet up at the park?" Tai said.

"Yep!" TK said.

"Sounds good to me," Sora shrugged.

"See ya there!" Mimi squealed.

"Okay! Bye," Tai hung up his phone.

_*click*_

_*click*_

_*click*_

_*click*_

* * *

Rika had finished shopping at one of her favorite stores and she felt instantly relieved when she found a huge hoodie to cover her sundress up with. Now she had just enough money left over to grab a bite at a snack car and refill her CharlieCard.

"This is the life," Rika sighed in satisfaction as she noshed on a beef kabob. She slipped her headphones on and turned the music up as she trudged her way down the subway. Not wanting to go home yet, Rika decided to hop inside a train going to Harajuku.

_*Buzz buzz buzz*_

"What's this?" Rika stuck her hand in her hoodie pocket. "It's from Davis..."

_Meet us at the park. We're gonna go to Rika's house, but don't tell her anything. We want to surprise her :)_

_-Davis_

"That idiot!" Rika shoved her phone back into her hoodie.

_*The Yellow Line train will be headed eastbound toward Harajuku now. Please watch your step and move away from the gliding doors.*_

"No!" Rika tried to get out of the train before the doors closed but she was yanked back.

"Hey kid! You could have hurt yourself!" a man in a business suit let go of Rika's hood.

"Argghhh!" Rika plopped down on an empty seat. "I just wanted to spend a peaceful day around the city. Now I have to get home before those goons do!"

* * *

"Wow! It looks like a dojo!" Davis said in awe.

"You probably don't even know what a dojo is," Koji snorted. "But it does kinda look like one."

"Rika's so lucky! I wish I could live in a house," Mimi pouted.

"It is nice," Izzy said.

"Hey, how come you never told us that Rika has a nice house?" TK asked.

"First of all, you never asked and secondly-," Takato said.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?!"

"That...," Takato turned red.

"Hi Rika! We bought you some bubbly!" Tai held up a green, glass bottle of sparkling apple cider.

"And your favorite, Guilmon bread...," Takato nervously held up a pink pastry box.

"I don't care! Get the hell out of here!" Rika stomped her foot.

"Rika! That isn't any way to treat your friends," Rika's grandmother said. "Any friends of Rika's are always welcome."

"They're not my friends," Rika grumbled.

"Come on in!" Rika's grandmother led everyone inside the house.

"Thanks Ms. Nonaka," Tai flashed her a big smile.

"Call me Nanna!" Rika's grandmother said. "You must be Izzy!"

"Actually, I'm Tai. That...," Tai pointed to Izzy. "He's Izzy."

"So you're the one that gives me updates on the club activities," Nanna nodded at Izzy.

"You talk to my gramma?!" Rika yelled.

"You barely tell me anything, honey. I get worried about you," Nanna wrung her hands.

"As President of the club, I think it's only responsible to let your families know what's going on since you're only in middle school," Izzy said. "We do the same with Takato's parents."

"Since when did you become their babysitters?" Koji scoffed.

"Since Sora made a good point. If you think about it, our club is like a family," Izzy said.

"Dysfunctional?" Kouichi said.

"Yes, we definitely are that," Izzy said.

"But as members of a family, we also have to look out for each other as well," Sora said.

"Tai?" Davis tugged at Tai's shirt.

"What?" Tai turned around.

"You're no longer the host club daddy," TK said.

"Host club daddy?" Nanna raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah! He's our host club daddy! He came up with the idea of having a host club!" TK hugged Tai's arm.

"But why is Izzy the president?" Nanna asked.

"Long story short: Tai got excited about making the club, got overwhelmed when he found out it was harder than it seemed, and passed off the hard work to Izzy," Sora said.

"Here's a family tree of our host club!" Davis handed Nanna a piece of paper with colorful doodles on it.

**(: **** Our Family Tree!**** :)**

___(Drunk, Overweight Uncle- Tai) (_Host Club Mommy- Izzy) (_Host Club Daddy- Sora) (__Weird Yet Hot Aunt- Mimi)_

_ (:_**_ The Cutest Kids You Will Ever Meet!- Davis and TK _**_ :)_

_(Wednesday Addams- Rika) (__Thing 1 and Thing 2- Koji and Kouichi)_

___(Lovable Family Puppy- Takato)_

"Hey! How come Sora took over my place as Host Club Daddy?" Tai whined.

"How am I still the Host Club Mommy?!" Izzy yelled.

"Hmm...," Nanna awkwardly nodded at the 'family tree'. She cupped her chin and turned to Tai. "You remind me of one of Rika's friends. Kaoru, I believe."

"His name's Kazu, and he's NOT my friend," Rika crossed her arms.

"Rika, it's okay to have friends," Nanna smiled. "Here, take a seat!" she gestured the kids to the rec room. "I'll be back with some plates and cups!"

"Thanks Nanna!" all of the kids sweetly chorused.

"Okay. Why the hell did you guys show up here?" Rika slammed her hands on the table.

"We just wanted to see how you were doing!" TK smiled.

"You guys saw me yesterday!" Rika growled.

"I know...but you did say we could come to your house," Davis grinned.

"When the hell did I say that?" Rika made a face.

"Remember when me and TK were fighting?" Davis said.

"That's right. You said if they stopped fighting, we could come over," Izzy reminded.

"Ugh!" Rika buried her head in her hands. "Fine, you guys can stay, but after the bread, you guys gotta go home!"

"Okay, okay," Tai whined.

"So...," Kouichi picked at the hem of his shirt.

_*clop clop clop clop clop*_ Mimi pulled her cheeks in and out repeatedly.

"Stop that," Sora gently guided Mimi's hands away from her face.

"So, anarchy rules?" Koji pointed to the words on Rika's hoodie.

"Yeah," Rika pulled her knees to her chest.

"Hey kids, do you want pizza?" Nanna stuck her head inside the rec room.

"No thanks, gramma. They're gonna leave soon," Rika said.

"Nah! We can stay a little longer," Tai said.

"But-"

"That's great! I'll order some right away!" Nanna smiled and walked off.

"Are you guys trying to piss me off?" Rika said through her teeth.

"I am, but I don't know about everyone else," Koji smirked.

"Hey! Is this a karaoke machine?!" Davis squealed as he pulled out a microphone that was attached to a stereo.

"Don't touch that!" Rika hissed.

"_Riiiikkkka!_"

"Great! Talk about a series of unfortunate events," Rika groaned.

"Rika! Where are you?"

"I'm over here...," Rika called out.

"Hi honey!" Rika's mom ran up to her and gave her a big hug. As soon as she did that, she quickly held Rika away from her. "Rika? What is that?"

"My hoodie," Rika said.

"Take it off! It looks horrible with that outfit," Rika's mom said.

"Fine...," Rika grumbled as she attempted to pull the hoodie over her head.

"Oh my gosh! We're twins!" Mimi squealed. Her and Rika were wearing identical pink sundresses.

"What?" Rika shrieked, frantically trying to take the hoodie off.

"I got it in New York on a modeling shoot. Isn't it darling?" Rika's mom gushed about Rika's outfit.

"I used to live in New York!" Mimi squealed. "Wait a minute...you're the Mademoiselle Makino!"

"Oh, that's my professional name! You can call me Rumiko," Rika's mom smiled.

"You're so pretty! I wish I could be as glamorous as you!" Mimi gasped.

"You're so sweet!" Rumiko giggled. "I'll be back, I'm just going to say hi to Nanna!"

"I guess we're not the only twins anymore," Koji stifled a laugh.

"Shut up," Rika got up from the floor and put her hoodie back on. "I'm stepping out. Don't follow me."

"Why? Where are you going?" Sora asked.

"Nowhere that's any of your business," Rika shoved her feet into her sneakers and stomped out of the house.

_*SLAM!*_

"Rika?" Rumiko called out.

"She just left," TK jerked his thumb toward the door.

"She does this all the time! I just don't understand why," Rumiko sighed. "Anybody want to go on a little trip to the city?" she bounced back.

"But what about Rika?" Takato asked.

"Don't worry about it," Rumiko winked.

* * *

Everyone except Koji was lurking behind newspaper racks and vendors' stands. Koji just casually strolled a couple of feet behind Rika. "So you like to stalk your daughter?" Koji asked.

"Shhhh!" everyone hushed him.

"What?" Koji shrugged.

"Ever since I could remember, she's always liked being by herself. I don't understand how she got so antisocial. I try getting close to her, but she always pushes me away. At first, I thought she had something against me, but when she made more friends, I noticed that she treats them the same way she treats me. I just hate how this is the only way I get to spend time with her. I think she hates me," Rumiko sighed.

"If it makes you feel better, Rika hates everyone," Tai said.

"She hates me...," Rumiko started to cry.

"Look what you did, Tai!" Sora smacked Tai on the back of his head.

"Oww!" Tai shrieked.

"Shut up!" Izzy hissed.

"Miss Makino, you know that's not true. Rika loves you...she just doesn't know how to show it," Takato said.

"I think she's just scared to get attached to people," Kouichi kicked at a pebble.

"But why?" Rumiko wiped her tears dry.

"Maybe she lost someone important to her when she was younger," Izzy blankly stared ahead.

"There was her father. She was definitely a daddy's girl," Rumiko pensively said.

"If you don't mind us asking, what happened to her dad?" TK asked.

"I was away on one of my photo shoots, so I don't know. When I came back home, he disappeared without a trace. I'm not sure if he died or ran off or what. Nobody knew what happened, not even Nanna. She was the last person to see him. All I knew was that after he was gone, Rika was never the same. She used to sing and laugh, but she's not like that anymore," Rumiko sniffled.

"Yeah...," Koji looked straight ahead.

"She's headed inside that store," Davis pointed.

"Davis! It's rude to point!" Mimi slapped his hand.

"Oww! I was just trying to show you where she went," Davis pouted.

"She confuses me to no end. I don't think I'll ever understand her. Why is she going to a vinyl store? She doesn't even have a record player," Rumiko said.

"Maybe that's where she buys her drugs-"

"Tai!" Sora elbowed him in the gut.

"What? I was going to say drugstore cosmetics...," Tai rubbed his sore spot.

"Shut up, she'll hear us!" Rumiko put her finger to her lips. They tiptoed inside the tiny store and hid behind a Paul McCartney standee. "This is the first time I've actually walked inside. Usually, I just hang out by the doorway...I'm scared."

"It's okay. There's nothing to be scared of," Sora said in a soothing tone.

"Nonaka! Long time, no see! I was wondering if you were even gonna show up!" a clerk said to Rika.

"Hey, Len," Rika nodded at him.

"I'd like to stay and chat, but gotta keep track of inventory before Jake gets back. Keyboard's right over there," the clerk tilted his chin to the corner.

"Thanks, Len," Rika said as she walked over to the piano. When he was out of sight, Rika looked around the room and then started to play a sweet, unique melody.

_*clank*_ Tai accidentally bumped into a rack of cassette tapes.

"Dammit Tai!" Izzy huffed.

Rika abruptly stopped playing the piano and scanned the room again. "Who's there?"

"Oh my gosh! She found us out!" Davis whisper-yelled.

"It's just me."

"Koji?" Rika scorned.

"Koji?" everyone mouthed.

"Just get out," Koji mouthed back to the entourage.

"What are you doing here?" Rika clenched her fists.

"Eh, everyone was getting on my nerves, so I decided to see what you were up to," Koji shrugged.

"So you left those goons behind?" Rika snorted.

"Meh, they probably won't realize. It's almost like I never left them," Koji smirked. "By the way, nice music, I guess. Not really something I would listen to, but it was nice."

"Thanks. Luckily for you, you won't hear it anymore because if I catch you stalking me again, you're dead," Rika slid her finger horizontally in front of her neck. "And you better not tell anyone about this, because then you'll be deader than dead," she threatened.

"Trust me, I'm not telling anyone," Koji scoffed.

* * *

"Hey! We do not get on his nerves! He loves us!" Tai gasped as he eavesdropped on Koji and Rika.

"Just get out of here while he distracts her," Izzy pushed Tai forward.

"I am not annoying!" Tai whined.

"Shut up! Everyone else is already outside!" Sora grabbed Tai by the wrist.

"Okay, okay, okay!" Tai said.

*diiiing*

"Tai? Sora? What are you guys doing here?"

"Shhh!" they hushed him.

"Hey! It's Rika and Koji!" Matt waved to them.

"Dammit Matt!" Tai gave himself a facepalm.

"Were you guys following me?!" Rika yelled.

"I just came to buy a capo, I don't know what they were up to," Matt jerked his thumb at Tai and Sora.

"We also came to buy some some capos!" Tai fibbed.

"Do you even know what a capo is?" Matt smirked.

"No, but Izzy knows," Tai blushed.

"Oh really?" Matt looked amused.

"Hey! Where'd he go?" Sora looked behind her. "He was just here a couple of seconds ago!"

"Sure he was...you guys are low," Matt shook his head.

"But he was! Everyone was here, even your mom!" Tai said to Rika.

"Yeah, right. My mom wouldn't bother following me around. She's too busy caring about makeup and clothes," Rika scoffed.

"You don't mean that," Sora gasped. "Your mom isn't as shallow as you think. Everyone has some depth to them, even her. You might criticize her for paying too much attention on people's looks, but you're not any different when you judge her on her outward appearance instead of getting to know what she's like on the inside."

"I guess you've got a point there," Rika sheepishly looked on the floor.

"Now let's get going. I bet the pizza's here by now," Tai grinned.

"Pizza?" Matt perked up.

"Not you! It's a host club thing," Tai snapped.

"Come on! You know you can't hold that over my head forever. I know what you're up to," Matt put his hands on his hips.

"I'm not up to anything! You act like we're begging you to be a host," Tai said.

"That's because you are," Matt smirked.

"Someone's conceited," Sora shook her head.

"You didn't want to be a host, so we stopped bugging you about it. Anyways, we should get going now! See you at school!" Tai waved at Matt.

"Hey! Where are you guys going?" Matt yelled.

"We're having a small get-together at Rika's," Koji smirked.

"Oooh, can I come too?" Matt beamed.

"Sorry. Only friends are welcome," Tai teased.

"Rika, I'm your friend too, aren't-hey! Where did Rika go?" Matt whined.

"Where did she go?" Tai asked.

"Come on, Tai! We're gonna lose her," Sora pulled Tai out of the store. "Bye Matt!"

"Forever alone," Matt slouched.

* * *

"Hey Rika! Look at me! I'm a walrus, arf arf!" Davis stuck some chopsticks in his mouth and clapped his hands.

"Pooooke," TK lightly poked Rika on the cheek.

"Stop touching my face...," Rika growled.

"Seriously! You're gonna get pizza grease all over her face and then she'll get bad skin," Mimi sat on TK's lap and dabbed Rika's cheek with a napkin.

"You're acting like my mom," Rika swatted Mimi's hand away and slid over to Takato.

"Now who's ready for a private concert?" Davis held the karaoke machine in the crook of his arm.

"No thank you," Kouichi shook his head.

"Did someone say thank you? Okay!" Davis pulled the microphone to his mouth and began to sing. "_I'm gonnaaa sing a sooong! A sooong that will wake you uppp and when you hear my voooiceee, you'll call me a sweet buttercuuuup!_"

"Ew...that has to be the worst song I ever heard," Izzy winced.

"That's because he's singing it wrong. Crank it up and let me take a shot!" Tai sprung up from the floor.

"You're joking, right?" Takato gulped.

"_I'm gonna sing a sooonngggg, a song that will wake you uuuuppp! I'm gonna belt it oooutt!_" Tai sang off-key.

"Okay, you're done," Sora unplugged the machine.

"Hahahahahahahahaha!" everyone except Rika laughed.

"Hmmm," Rumiko sighed. "Why does Rika look so miserable?" she peered into the rec room.

"Honey, if you spent more time with her, you'd be able to tell that she's not miserable at all," Nanna said. TK and Davis were serenading Koji, Mimi was playing with Kouichi's hair, Tai balanced a cup on his head, Sora was rolling her eyes at Tai, Takato was happily eating his Guilmon bread, Izzy huffed as he picked plates and napkins up off of the floor, and in the center of the chaos, a slight smile spread across Rika's face and a light began to flicker in her eyes.


	11. Big Brother Is A Prince!

**Big Brother Is A Prince!**

"Excuse me. Have you seen this boy?"

"Yeah. He's in my Spanish class."

"Do you know where he could be?"

"I think he's in Science Lab #3."

"Can you tell me where that is?"

"Keep going down the hall until you see the windows, turn right and go down that hallway. It should be the fourth door to your left."

"Thank you."

* * *

"Now let's get down to business! We have to start planning for the pizza party we're gonna have this Friday!" Tai rubbed his hands together.

"How are we gonna do that? We get around 50 guests a day. I crunched the numbers and we just can't do it. We don't have enough money or time to get pizza for 50 people and some of them don't even like pizza," Izzy pointed to his calculator watch.

"What? Who doesn't like pizza?" TK gasped.

"Who cares! If they don't want it, I'll eat it for them," Davis grinned.

"What a great solution," Izzy rolled his eyes. "But seriously, Tai? Do you ever think?!"

"Stupid question," Rika scoffed.

"Yeah, just realized that," Izzy sighed.

"Chill! I just wanted to see how you'd react! I'm not as stupid as you think," Tai laughed.

"Yeah, you're stupider," Koji smirked.

"Tai, I hate when you joke around like that with me!" Izzy pulled on his hair.

"Seriously Tai? Izzy's high-strung as is, he doesn't need your help to be more uptight," Sora scolded.

"Thanks Sora," Izzy angrily huffed.

"Pssst, TK...go make a call to Vinny and tell him to cancel our order," Tai whispered to TK.

"On it," TK grabbed his cell phone and discreetly snuck out of the room.

"I'm glad that you think this is all a joke, but someone needs to take this club seriously, so excuse me if I'm not as lax as you guys," Izzy crossed his arm.

"_Lax_? Ewww, what is this? The 1990's?" Mimi wriggled her nose in disgust.

"You get what I mean," Izzy sighed.

_*knock knock*_

"Sorry, but business hours haven't started yet," Mimi said.

"_I just want to see my big brother_..."

"Any of you guys have a little sister?" Tai asked.

"You do," Kouichi pointed out.

"That's right...," Tai blushed. Koji and Rika slowly shook their heads. "Okay Mimi, just open the door. I wonder what Kari wants," Tai groaned.

"Hi, I'm Relena! Is my brother here?" a blonde girl in a wheelchair smiled.

"Hi, I don't think we've ever met," Tai looked at her.

"Oh my gosh! This room is full of debauchery! Yay for debauchery! Are you guys a reverse harem?!" the blonde girl rapidly exclaimed.

"A what...?" Sora's jaw dropped.

"A reverse harem!" the girl repeated.

"No, I heard you...," Sora pushed her palm against her ear, as if she was waterlogged. "I just can't believe those words came out of your mouth."

"I'm sorry. That is all_ her_ fault," a white-haired older man with glasses walked in. A young woman with wavy, light brown hair followed him inside. The man wore glasses and a black tuxedo and the woman wore a green maid's dress and an orange flower in her hair.

"You see, we would read Relena bedtime stories about handsome princely main characters, but one day we went through all of the storybooks she had," the young girl said.

"So Marie here," the older man gave the woman a stern look, "decided to introduce her to the lovely world of shojo manga," he groaned.

"Get a grip, Gerard! There's nothing wrong with shojo manga," Marie said.

"But now Mistress Relena is completely addicted to that rubbish!" Gerard protested.

"I know, isn't it amazing?" Marie squealed.

"Right now, Marie's reading me a story about a host club full of handsome boys," Relena smiled.

"What do you know? We're a host club full of handsome young boys," Tai put his hand on his chest.

"When are the handsome boys gonna be here?" Relena asked.

"Ohhh," Koji tried to stifle his laughter.

"You don't think we're handsome?" Tai gasped.

"Not compared to my brother. He's very handsome," Relena said.

"Which school do you go to?" Sora asked.

"I'm a fifth-year student at the Roderich Edelstein Academy of Excellence in Vienna," the girl stated.

"Vienna? Like those teeny hot dogs in a can?" Takato cocked his head to the side.

"I like to drink the liquid inside the cans," Mimi added.

"That's gross," Kouichi grimaced.

"You go to a hot dog school?" Davis asked Relena.

"No you idiots! Vienna is a city- in fact, it's the capital of Austria," Izzy huffed.

"I thought Sydney was the capital," Kouichi said.

"G'day mite!" Tai jumped in front of Relena.

"She's from Austria, not Australia," Izzy sighed. "Relena, why the long trip?"

"I just wanted to see my big brother," Relena said.

"Are you sure you're in the right place?" Takato raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. I know I'm in the right place," Relena declared.

"Hey guys, just got off the phone with Vin-"

"Tommy!" Relena wheeled over to TK.

"Tommy?!" everyone, especially TK, had confused looks on their faces.

"I miss you, big brother!" Relena wrapped her arms around TK's waist.

"Hi," TK awkwardly patted Relena on the head.

"How come you never told us that you have a little sister?" Tai asked.

"Because I don't have a little sister?" TK uptalked.

"Yes you do! See?" Relena handed Izzy a Polaroid.

"Huh, looks like TK," Izzy passed the photo to Sora.

"It does," Sora nodded as she handed the picture off to Mimi.

"Whoaaaa...," Davis looked over Mimi's shoulder to see the picture.

"I want to see!" Takato stood on his toes.

"Move your big bandana head out if the way!" Rika pushed Koji's head to the side.

"Oh, that's original. Takato's a gogglehead, Tai's a big head, I'm a bandana head? Well, you're a pineapple head," Koji sneered.

"Wanna start something?!" Rika growled.

"I think it's so cute when you flirt," Mimi giggled.

"What?!" Rika and Koji both made faces of disgust.

"We all know you guys like each other," Mimi teased.

"What?!" Rika and Koji yelled.

"Don't deny it! It's totally obvious," Mimi grinned.

"Leave them alone," Sora pulled Mimi away from the grumpy kids.

"Where did the nickname TK come from?" Relena asked. "I get the T part, but I don't know how you got the K."

"It's short for Takeru," TK said.

"And how did you get the name Takeru?" Relena asked.

"It's the name my parents gave me...," TK scratched the back of his head, not knowing how to answer.

"But if Thomas is your first name, and your middle name starts with the letter H, does that make Takeru your second middle name?" Relena cocked her head to the side.

"What a minute, did you just say Thomas?" Izzy picked his head up.

"Yeah, Thomas H. Norstein," Relena nodded.

"I'm afraid you've got the wrong guy," Tai said.

"Who's got the wrong guy?" Matt peeked his head through the doorway.

"Five bucks please," Mimi held her palm up in front of him.

"Seriously?" Matt dug through his pocket.

"If you were a host, you wouldn't have to pay to get inside," Mimi taunted.

"That's what she said...," Koji muttered.

"Here. This should be enough," Matt poured a bunch of coins in Mimi's hand.

"Not so fast. I have to make sure I have enough change," Mimi blocked Matt's path. "Can someone double count for me?"

"I'm coming," Izzy sighed and walked over to Mimi and Matt.

"Can you talk to her about charging me? She's relentless!" Matt pleaded.

"Sorry, but if you're not a host, then you have to pay. Club policy," Izzy said.

"What?!" Matt yelled. "Whoa, who's this?"

"Relena, this is Matt, TK's older brother. Matt, this is Relena, TK's little sister," Davis smiled.

"What? That's news to me. I didn't know we had a little sister...," Matt blinked.

"Stop messing with him, Davis! She's not your little sister, Matt. She just got TK confused with Thomas Norstein," Sora said.

"You mean Nerdstein?" Matt scoffed. "How does TK look anything like him?"

"They're both blond with blue eyes," Relena said.

"So, I have blond hair and blue eyes too," Matt pointed to his over-coiffed hair. "I could be your big brother too."

"No, you can't. My big brother is handsome," Relena declared.

"Ha hah!" Tai cackled.

"Look," Kouichi handed Matt the picture.

"...," Matt studied the photograph. "So, that doesn't mean anything!"

"Except that the similarities are uncanny," Takato said.

"Anyone could have just stalked TK, take a picture of him and claim that he's their brother," Matt threw the picture back at Kouichi.

"Then explain how Relena's in the picture," Izzy smirked.

"Photoshop," Matt crossed his arms.

"I think someone's jealous that he's not handsome enough to be Relena's brother," Tai sneered.

"No, I'm not!" Matt yelled.

"Who said Tai was talking about you?" Rika smirked.

"Gahhhh!" Matt was frustrated.

"Relena, could this be the guy you're looking for?" Sora pointed to a page in a yearbook.

"You mean the boy in the picture that has a big heart around it?" Relena asked.

"Mimi...," Sora groaned.

"What? He's cute," Mimi shrugged.

"Yeah, and thanks to you, everyone will assume that I think he's cute too," Izzy said, irritated.

"What do you have to do with this?" Koji scoffed.

"It's_ my_ yearbook!" Izzy took the yearbook out of Sora's hands and pointed at the name engraved on the inside cover.

"So you think Thomas is cute?" Matt smirked at Izzy.

"And Alex Smith, and Cameron Reiss, and Drew Tyler, and Takeru Takaishi, and Nick Ericsson, and Stephen Fr-," Tai flipped through the pages of the yearbook.

"Mimi...," Izzy fumed.

"What? I just wanted to get acquainted with our student body," Mimi innocently batted her lashes.

"Yeah, in my yearbook," Izzy groaned.

"Here, if it makes you feel better," Mimi took the yearbook and scribbled on the inside cover. "There, now it's my yearbook!" she crossed out the name 'Koushirou' and wrote 'Mimi' underneath it in pink ink.

"Because that makes it a lot better," Izzy sighed.

"Where is Thomas?" Relena looked up to Sora.

"Actually, I have no clue," Sora rubbed her chin.

"I haven't seen him since last week," Matt said.

"My father was right. I'll never find my real brother. And I was so close," Relena's eyes began to water.

"Don't be ridiculous! We're gonna find Thomas! He can't be too far!" Tai said.

"You will?" Relena beamed.

"Tai!" Sora gasped.

"Yes, we promise!" Tai gave her a thumbs-up. "Now who wants to track Thomas down?"

"..."

"That's the spirit!" Tai chanted.

* * *

"Are you sure we won't get caught?" Sora asked.

"Calm down," Tai casually said as he watched Rika pick the lock with a bobby pin.

"Done," Rika opened the door.

"How did you learn how to do that?" Kouichi said, amazed.

"Just comes naturally," Rika stuck her bobby pin back into her hair.

"So where would the attendance records be?" Izzy looked around the office.

"Right over here," Davis tapped on a file cabinet.

"How do you know that?" Sora eyed Davis suspiciously.

"No reason. It's not like I cause my tardy slips to disappear or anything like that," Davis turned red.

"Hmmm...," Sora hummed.

"Here's his records," Izzy pulled out a manila folder.

"Whoa, that baby's thick!" Tai snatched the folder from Izzy's hands. "I never would have pictured Thomas skipping school!"

"Those are all of the clubs and activities Thomas is involved with," Izzy took the folder back from Tai and sifted through all of the paperwork.

"Alchemy Club, Science Club, Computer Club, Calculus Club, Fencing Club-" Takato read.

"Okay, we get it! He's very involved in the school!" Izzy pressed his hands against the sides of his head.

"Just remember, this is about Relena. Not your stupid jealousy with Thomas," Sora whispered in Izzy's ear.

"I am not-" Izzy began to protest. "Stop looking at me like that."

"Uh, guys? I found Thomas's schedule," Kouichi pulled a sheet of paper out of the pile.

"Niiiice!" Tai ran up to Kouichi. "Now all we have to do is make some copies and we'll nab the guy!"

"Yay! I'll finally get to see Tommy!" Relena squealed.

* * *

_The Next Day..._

"Did you guys find him?" Mimi asked.

"Please tell me you did. I've read three shojo mangas too many. Bleh," Izzy shuddered.

"But you only read us three," Relena said.

"No, we didn't find him," Tai sighed.

"We waited outside of all of his classes," Sora frowned.

"And we also hung out by his locker," TK clutched on to his walkie-talkie. "Davis is staking out in Room 205, where Thomas is scheduled to be for his Computer Club meeting."

"_Hot Chocolate to Sunshine, Hot Chocolate to Sunshine..._"

"That's Davis," TK clicked his walkie-talkie on. "Anything?"

"_No. It's been a half-hour and he still hasn't shown up. The computer nerds say it's weird because Thomas never shows up late to his meetings_."

"He's missing?" Relena began to whimper.

"No, he's not missing. He's just...hard to locate," Takato tried to make Relena feel better.

"He's missing!" Relena began to weep.

"Don't worry! We'll find him!" Tai said, flustered.

"When?" Relena sobbed.

"Soon?" TK shrugged.

"How soon?" Relena whimpered.

"Very soon...," Kouichi awkwardly said.

"That's very specific," Koji smirked.

"I'm never going to see him, am I?" Relena heaved.

"But we promised! We're going to do whatever it takes to make sure we find Thomas!" Tai said. "And we don't break promises, right Rika?"

"Right," she droned.

"Please find him soon. I miss him very much," Relena said.

"We will," TK squeezed her hand.

"Okay, time to take you home. You need to rest," Gerard grabbed the handles of the wheelchair.

"Alright," Relena pouted. "Bye. I'll see you all again tomorrow," she waved at everyone.

"Marie, aren't you coming along?" Gerard said.

"I'll catch up with you guys later," Marie shooed Gerard away.

"You better get home soon," Gerard said sternly as he wheeled Relena out of the room.

"Bye Relena," everyone said in unison.

"Finally! I thought he would never leave," Marie closed the door after them.

"Huh?" Izzy gave Marie a strange look.

"There's something you guys need to know," Marie said breathily.

"What is it?" Tai asked.

"It's a bit of a sad story, honestly. It makes me cry a little every time I think about it," Marie put her hand on her chest. "You see, Relena and Thomas were separated from each other for years now."

"Why?" Mimi asked.

"As long as I could remember, Thomas and his dad, Franz, were never on good terms. You see, Thomas and Relena are only half-siblings. When Thomas was young, his father walked out on him. If you ask me, I think it had to do with Madame Norstein, Thomas's and Relena's grandmother. She hated the fact that Thomas's father was seeing a Japanese woman, and it didn't help that they had a child without getting married."

"Whoa, so Thomas is a halfsie?" Takato asked.

"A halfsie bastard," Koji added.

"That's not necessarily the nice way of putting it but yes. Yes, he is. Sometimes I wonder if that's why Franz mistreats Thomas. I think all of the detest finally got to Franz so he severed the ties with Thomas's mother, and in result, abandoned Thomas. Let's just say that Madame Norstein was pleased when she heard the news. Franz moved on with his life and fell in love with an Austrian woman, whom Madame Norstein highly approved of. Franz was relatively happy; he got married to that lovely Austrian girl and started a new family with her. Just when things were going smoothly for Franz, Relena's mother died at childbirth. If that weren't enough, doctors discovered that Relena had a mysterious disease," Marie said.

"Oh my gosh, how horrible!" Mimi gasped.

"To pile on the misery, Thomas's mother also died around the same time. Having no relatives on his mother's side to take care of him, Thomas was forced to move in with his father. Franz was so cold to him, to the point he would obnoxiously pretend that Thomas didn't exist. Madame Norstein definitely paid more attention to Thomas, but it never positive attention. She would belittle him all of the time, often calling him a 'filthy child' every time he walked by her. It just broke my heart to see little Thomas's face. That poor boy was so miserable! You could just see it in his eyes; he didn't have that shine in his eyes like the other children did. I'm not a therapist or anything like that, but I had a feeling that little Tommy had suicidal tendencies. He always locked himself up in his room; he didn't want to be around people. I've tried to talk to Thomas, but he barely talked to me. When he did, it was only to politely ask me to leave his room. Then there were the mysterious scrapes on his arms, the sleepless nights, his quiet cries. Oh, how I wanted to comfort him, but I didn't want to make him more upset. Even though it seemed like nobody loved Thomas, there was always one person who did: Relena. In my opinion, Thomas had many reasons to kick the bucket, but I think Relena was the reason he decided not to. In a way, it's like Relena saved his life and because of that, he's trying to do the same for her. When he wasn't playing and laughing with Relena, he threw himself hard into his studies. He was so determined to become a physician so he could help cure Relena, that he graduated from the Stockholm Royal University of Science at the top of his class!"

"Wait, if Thomas already graduated from a prestigious university, then what is he doing at a high school?" Izzy raised an eyebrow.

"He wanted to experience the life of a normal teenager," Marie shrugged. "He couldn't handle living under his father's roof anymore, so as soon as he graduated, he packed up his bags and left for Japan. Relena was devastated but Thomas promised that he would see her again one day. It's such a tragic story, almost like Romeo and Juliet!" Marie gushed.

"Uh, I think their situation was completely different," Sora gave Marie a puzzled look.

"No it isn't," Marie said.

"What, are they in love with each other?" Koji looked disgusted.

"That's disgusting! Of course they're not in love with each other!" Marie exclaimed.

"Then how are Relena and Thomas anything like Romeo and Juliet?" Takato asked.

"Franz didn't want Thomas making any contact with Relena anymore. For that reason, Relena is banned from the computer and she doesn't have her own cell phone. Franz would even keep an eye out on the house phone, just to make sure Thomas couldn't reach her. Thomas would try sending letters to Relena, but Franz sent them back to Thomas...or so he thought," Marie pulled out a couple of opened envelopes, the words 'Return to Sender' scribbled on all of them.

"How did you get the letters if they were sent back to Thomas?" Kouichi asked.

"You doof! They were never sent back to him," Rika snorted.

"She's mean, but she's right. It's a good thing I'm the one in charge of the mail. I look through the outbox for his letters and then secretly give them to Relena," Marie smiled.

"But couldn't you get in trouble for doing that?" Takato asked.

"Franz doesn't even know what's going on under his nose. I'm totally fine," Marie brushed off. "The reason we came here is because we haven't received any letters for a couple of months now. Relena's getting sicker by the minute and all she wants is to hear from her big brother again," Marie sighed.

"That's it, we definitely have to track Thomas down, NCIS-style!" Tai slammed his fist against his palm.

"Thank you," Marie curtsied. "Now I have to get going before Gerard gets suspicious!"

* * *

_Several days later..._

"I don't mean to whine but I thought you guys were going to find Tommy by now," Relena said.

"Just one problem," Izzy was surrounded by a mess of papers.

"What?" Tai looked back to Izzy.

"I've been searching through his records and there isn't any contact information listed. No home address, no phone number, no PO box, nothing! Not even an email," Izzy ran his fingers through his hair.

"Why do you have his file? Didn't we put them back?" Sora asked.

"Because I knew we would need it for future reference. Get real, a stupid class schedule doesn't exactly give us enough information," Izzy pointed out.

"Sounds like you know your stalking skills. Maybe that's what happens when you draw little hearts around Thomas's picture," Koji smirked. Izzy shot a look so menacing, Koji gulped. "Never mind...just do your thing."

"What could really help us out is if we got a hold of all of his class and club rosters," Izzy stared down at the paperwork.

"Why don't we just call him instead?" Mimi asked.

"Because we don't have his number," Rika slowly said.

"I do!" Mimi pointed to her pink cellphone.

"What?!" everyone shrieked.

"Yeah, he gave it to me a couple of weeks ago," Mimi nodded. "Actually, one of his friends gave me his number."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Izzy huffed in irritation.

"I didn't want to sound like a creep," Mimi turned red.

"No, not that! Why didn't you tell us you had his number this whole time?" Izzy groaned.

"Because you guys never asked. Besides, I haven't had the guts to call him yet," Mimi nervously giggled.

"Well, you're gonna gather up the courage to talk to him now!" Tai stood over Mimi.

"You should call Thomas! You do have the crest of courage," Mimi handed her phone to Tai.

"Oh, if I call him, then I'm going to be inspired by the crest of Sincerity and tell him the truth about a certain girl who has a crush on him," Tai smirked.

"No!" Mimi tried to grab her phone, but Tai yanked it back from her reach.

"Way to be mature," Sora snatched the phone from Tai's hands. "I'll call him!"

"Not on my phone!" Mimi shrieked.

"Why not?" Takato asked.

"Because then he'll want to know how I got his number and I don't want to sound like a total stalker psycho!" Mimi whined.

"Fine, I'll use my phone," Sora rolled her eyes.

"No!" Mimi shrieked.

"Why not? We have to contact him somehow and I don't think telekinesis is going to work," Izzy impatiently tapped his fingers against the black tabletop.

"Sora can't call him because he'll know me and her are friends and then he's going to wonder why Sora has his number, and it will all trace back to me!" Mimi whined.

"I don't really think Thomas knows you exist...," Kouichi said.

"Uh!" Mimi gasped.

"I didn't mean it like that! I just meant to say you're a new kid! I don't think half of the school has heard of you yet," Kouichi stammered.

"What?" Mimi looked offended.

"I'll stop talking now...," Kouichi slouched.

"Good idea," Takato gulped.

"I'll call him. He probably won't be suspicious if I call him," Izzy took his phone out. "Now what's his number?"

"Right here," Mimi showed Izzy the screen on her phone.

"Thanks," Izzy punched the numbers and pressed the speaker button.

_*riiiing...riiiing...riiing*_

"_Apologies, but I cannot be reached at the moment. If you would like, you are welcome to leave a message after the high-pitched tone_..."

"Dammit!" Tai slammed his fist against the table.

"Hi Thomas, it's Izzy. Just wanted to let you know that Relena is here with us and she wants to see you. Call back when you get the chance," Izzy said before he hung up. Before Izzy could put his phone away, it began to vibrate.

_*Buzz...buzz...buzz*_

"Hello?" Izzy answered the phone and pressed the speaker button.

"Is this Izzy?"

"Yes, this is he," Izzy said.

"_It's Thomas. Is Relena with you right now?_"

"Hi Tommy! I miss you," Relena said.

"_Relena! Where are you?_" Thomas said.

"We're in Science Lab #3," Tai replied.

"_Oh, so you're the host club boys_," Thomas said.

"_Yep, that's us!_" Davis said.

_*click*_

"Hey! He hung up on us...," Davis pouted.

_*knock knock knock*_

"Mimi, get the door," Tai said.

"Hi, business hours haven't...oh my gosh, Thomas! I'm so sorry!" Mimi blushed.

"That's okay. Relena?" Thomas exclaimed.

"Tommy!" Relena hopped off her wheelchair and ran over to him.

"Mistress Relena! You're supposed to stay in your wheelchair," Gerard said.

"Relena! I missed you," Thomas picked her up.

"Oh Tommy! I was scared that I was never going to see you again!" Relena sniffled.

"Oh my gosh! How sweet!" Mimi and Marie gushed simultaneously.

"Where's Father?" Thomas said.

"He doesn't know I'm here," Relena said.

"Relena, Father's probably going insane worrying about you," Thomas said.

"But he should know I'll be fine! I have Marie and Gerard with me, and now I have you!" Relena said.

"You have no happy I am to see you," Thomas smiled.

"Look at that," Tai grinned. "We made that happen. It feels good to make people happy."

"It does," Sora nodded.

"Owwwwww!" Relena howled.

"Are you alright?" Thomas panicked.

"I'm fi-owwwww!" Relena shrieked.

"Relena!" Tai yelled.

"Oh no. She's experiencing those sharp pains again," Marie's voice began to squeak.

"Ahhhhhh!" Relena cried.

"Don't worry Relena! I'm here," Thomas gently placed Relena back into her wheelchair. "Izzy, host club, thank you. Thank you for everything," he nodded at them.

"Is she going to be alright?" Takato asked.

"I'm not sure," Marie frowned. "I'm not sure."

* * *

_*knock knock*_

"_Who is it?_"

"It's the host club," Tai said.

"_Come in._"

"How's Relena doing?" Sora asked. She placed a bouquet on a counter.

"She's not doing too well. Besides the sharp pains, she also has shortness of breath, weakness, a fever, nausea, dehydr-"

"What doesn't she have?" Koji blurted.

"Don't be a jerk," Rika elbowed him in the gut.

"Ohhh," Koji fell to his knees.

"She also has disorientation, so just come slowly and quietly. We don't want to overwhelm her," Marie said.

"Hi Relena," Tai said. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing fine," Relena drew in a deep breath. She was hooked up to a lot of tubes, including one that led to an ECG. "As long as I have my big brother with me, I'm okay."

_*knock knock*_

"Who is it?" Marie asked.

"_It's Dr. Lopez. Can I come in?_"

"Gerard, please can you open the door?" Thomas asked.

"Yes, Master Thomas," Gerard let the doctor in.

"So I ran a couple of tests and-"

"You don't know what's going on...," Thomas said.

"I'm afraid so," Dr. Lopez solemnly shook her head. "We'll keep running more tests until we find anything that might lead to a possible answer. I know it's probably something you've heard millions of times and something you don't want to hear, but that's all I can say at the moment. I'm sorry."

"That's okay. Thank you for the update," Thomas nodded.

"I'll leave you to your company," Dr. Lopez said to Relena and walked out.

"I just don't understand," Thomas put his glasses on and looked through Relena's medical chart. "Her vitals are going down. Nobody knows what's going on with her. _I_ don't know."

"Tommy, it hurts," Relena whined.

"I'll do whatever it takes to get to the bottom of this, no matter what it takes," Thomas patted her on the head.

_*Blam!*_

"I appreciate your enthusiasm but we don't need it..."

"Who's that?" Davis jumped.

"Father?" Thomas gasped.

"This is all your fault!" Mr. Norstein stomped over to Thomas. "Did you think I was too stupid to see what was going on?"

"Daddy, no!" Relena weakly yelled.

"You didn't think I would find out about these?" Franz pulled a couple of envelopes and threw them in Thomas's face. "You always manage to do the impossible. Even when you're separated by continents, you sure know how to be a bad influence on Relena! You've done nothing but cause trouble!"

"Daddy! I wanted to see Tommy! It's my fault, not his!" Relena cried.

"Stay out of this, Relena," Franz firmly said.

"Settle down, everyone. You're overwhelming her," Marie tried to calm the Norstein men down.

"Settle down? You're fired!" Franz yelled.

"Fired?" Marie gasped.

"If it weren't for Butler here, you would still be running around, doing things behind my back! I'm not paying you to do whatever the hell you damn please!" Franz screamed.

"Gerard?!" everyone looked at him.

"How could you?" Tai shook his head at Gerard.

"I didn't want to say anything but I had to. My first duty is to serve Master Franz Norstein," Gerard said.

"Daddy, no!" Relena pleaded.

"Do you see this? This is all your fault she's upset! You're a disgrace to the Norstein name!" Franz slapped Thomas across the face hard. "I hope you're proud of yourself." Franz pushed Thomas out of the way and began to walk out of the room.

"He should be proud!"

"Izzy?" everyone gasped.

"If I were Thomas, I would be proud of myself. I don't understand why you're so hard on him. Thomas is a very accomplished person. He's a university graduate, he runs almost every club in school, he's probably the youngest physician in the world, and despite all of that, he still takes the time to care for his sister. Thomas has done more things in seventeen years than you could never accomplish in three lifetimes. You might think that Thomas has no worth, but it's you that doesn't have any. Can't you at least get along, for Relena's sake?" Izzy said.

"If that's what you think, you insolent faggot," Franz pushed Izzy out of the way and left the room.

"Thanks," Thomas shot Izzy a weak smile.

"It's nothing," Izzy turned away.

"Are you okay?" Mimi gasped.

"Your dad is so mean," Davis clutched on to TK.

"You should never, ever hit someone who's wearing glasses," Takato shook his head.

"I don't really think it's about that...," TK gave Takato a concerned look.

"Don't worry about it. I'm fine," Thomas picked his glasses up from the floor. "It's not like I haven't expected this to happen."

"Tommy...," Relena said weakly. The ECG started to hum slowly.

"I'm here, I'm here," Thomas held her hand.

"Just relax and breathe slowly," Marie said.

"Is she okay?" Mimi quietly asked.

"It doesn't sound like it," Kouichi softly said.

_*BEEEEEEEP*_ The ECG waves flatlined.

"Relena," Thomas whispered. Relena's fingers released their grip and her hand fell down on her bed.

"Thomas," Franz put his hand on Thomas's shoulder. "I was wrong. I _was_ too hard on you, and all it did was upset Relena. Now I have no Relena."

_*BEEEEEEEP...beep...beep...beep*_

"Sorry about that. My leg got caught in a wire. I plugged it back in; it's all good now," Davis laughed nervously.

"Relena!" everyone ran over to her bedside.

"Hi everyone," Relena sat up in bed.

"Glad to see you're doing good," Tai smiled.

"Izzy," Thomas said.

"Yes?" Izzy looked at him.

"I decided that I'm going to be moving back to Austria for a couple months, so I won't be able to fulfill all of my commitments at the school," Thomas said.

"So what are you trying to say?" Izzy cocked his head to the side.

"I would be honored if you would take my place as the president of the Computer Club," Thomas said.

"As much as I wanted to be president, I'm going to respectfully decline your offer. I'm kind of preoccupied with another club," Izzy said.

"It sure seems like you are," Thomas chuckled. Relena was surrounded by everyone; Mimi putting flowers in her hair, Sora reading a shojo manga to her, Takato handing her a box of chocolate, Davis and TK trying to eat the chocolate when no one was looking, Rika, Koji, and Kouichi silently standing by her side, and Tai jumping around her bed.

* * *

"Hey, lookie here!" Davis waved an envelope in the air.

"Oooh, did I get my tickets to the Selena Gomez concert?" Mimi squealed.

"When did you buy tickets?" Sora said.

"I didn't buy them, but I've been calling the radio station a million times now. My dad's sooo gonna kill me when he sees the bill," Mimi said.

"It's a letter from Relena," TK said.

"Open it!" Tai exclaimed.

"On it!" TK bit the corner of the envelope off and slid his finger across the hole. "Here's the letter:

_Dear Host Club,_

_Thank you for bringing me and my big brother together. I am so happy that he's with me now, and I'm glad that Daddy is getting along with Thomas now. Daddy even brought Marie back, which is so exciting because Thomas refuses to read me any shojo manga. We might come back to Japan in a couple of months for holiday, so I hope we can meet up!_

_Keep In Touch,_

_Relena_

"Aww, she's so cute," Mimi gushed.

"You know what else is cute?" Davis flashed an evil grin.

"What?" Rika asked.

"It has to do with Izzy," TK smirked.

"This is gonna be good," Koji leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms behind his head.

"Thomas gave Izzy the chance to become the president of the Computer Dorks," Davis said.

"But he said noooo because he loves us so much!" TK teased.

"What?!" Izzy spazzed.

"Awww, is it true?" Tai raised his eyebrows.

"No...," Izzy's face turned red.

"Izzy loves the host club, Izzy loves the host club!" Davis and TK held hands and skipped around the room.

"Shut up, no I don't!" Izzy fumed.

"Don't deny it. I know you loooooove us," Tai got in Izzy's face.

"Get away from me," Izzy backed away.

"Come on, give us a little sugar!" Davis and TK grabbed Izzy by the arms.

"Let go of me!" Izzy kicked and bucked.

"Mwah!" Davis and TK gave Izzy a peck on the cheek.

"My turn!" Tai screamed.

"No! Leave me alone!" Izzy screamed.

"I don't know about you readers, but if I were Izzy, I would have picked the computer club over this," Sora jerked her thumb at the boys.

"Yay for breaking the fourth wall," Kouichi shrugged.

_*pop* _Koji cracked a party popper open.

"Now go away. This chapter's over," Rika said.

"Why do you have to be mean all the time?" Takato asked.

"Because I can. Seriously, this chapter's over so you can leave now," Rika said with a stern look on her face. "Go watch some anime or something."


	12. Takato's Three Bitter Days!

**Takato's Three Bitter Days**

_*SLAM*_

"Takato! What's wrong?" Mimi gasped.

"Mmmrrr...," Takato took in a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" Sora asked.

"What happened?" Tai leaned against a lab table.

_*knock knock*_

"Business hours haven't started yet! Gosh, doesn't anyone read the sign?" Mimi yelled.

"It's Cody."

"Let him in," Izzy said.

"Hey Code..what's crackin'?" TK said.

"I'm just here to deliver this," Cody handed Izzy a pink envelope.

"Okay, thanks," Izzy said.

"Goodbye," Cody walked out of the room. Mimi closed the door after him.

"He's a teacher's pet," Takato clenched his fists.

"Whoa, Matsuda! Never seen that side of you," Tai was astonished.

"It's Matsuki," Rika gruffily corrected.

"Yeah, yeah Makino," Takato said.

"No-na-ka! Where did you even get Makino from? It doesn't sound anything like Nonaka!" Rika yelled.

"Who cares?" Takato snapped.

"What bit you in the ass?" Koji crossed his arms.

"This," Izzy held up the envelope. "Takato was caught trading Digimon cards during class and he failed the last three math tests. Normally, they would have let one of these behaviors slide by giving him a detention, but since he committed two infractions around the same time, he's placed in academic probation."

"Pfft, what's the big deal? I get probation all the time," Davis scoffed.

"The big deal is that unlike_ you_, Takato doesn't play sports. When you're on academic probation, you're not supposed to participate in any extracurricular activities. Yet somehow, it seems like only athletes and cheerleaders are exempt from that rule," Izzy said with disdain.

"Don't get mad because we've got skill," Davis kicked the air. "Uh oh...," he slipped on a random banana peel and fell on his face.

"That's some skill you've got there," Koji smirked.

"Who dropped a banana peel on the ground and didn't bother to pick it up? Sometimes, I really hate society," Sora picked up the peel and threw it in the trash.

"Since Takato's on academic probation, he's not allowed to-"

"I can't show up at the host club until I get a better grade in math," Takato's face began to turn red. "I wouldn't have even gotten in trouble if it weren't for Cody."

"Cody a tattletale?" Tai shot Takato a strange look.

"More like a whistleblower. When the teacher asked what was going on, he told him what happened," Takato said.

"I can see that. Cody's one of those kids who feels like he has to do the right thing all of the time," TK sighed.

"He's such a truth-teller, he was picked to play George Washington in that school play about presidents who ended up being on money," Davis said. "He cannot tell a lie."

"Don't forget, he was also Honest Abe," TK said.

"What president didn't he play?" Rika scorned.

"JFK," Davis said.

"The bottom line is that Cody's always honest, a little too honest," Tai said. "He's not a bad kid, he's just...he's weird. Everyone has their flaws."

"Well thanks to him, I'm not allowed to hang out with you guys," Takato said, his face getting redder and redder.

"Noooo!" Mimi gasped. "You can't leave!"

"I don't have much of a choice," Takato croaked.

"It's okay, math sucks ass," Tai said in a soothing tone and put his hands on Takato's shoulders.

"Yep," Davis nodded.

"Sure does," TK said.

"Math is homo," Koji said.

"I hate math," Mimi scrunched up her face.

"Eh, I could live without it," Sora said.

"Math's not my thing," Kouichi shrugged.

"Come on, guys! Math isn't that terrible!" Izzy said.

"..." everyone glared at Izzy.

"Look, there's no reason to let math bring you down. Every human being hates math, and I mean every human person," Tai said.

"What about Izzy? He seems to be okay with the existence of math," Kouichi said.

"Well, Izzy isn't a human. He's like part robot and part cyborg," Tai said.

"Knock it off, Tai!" Sora scolded.

"What do you propose we should do? The host club won't be the same without Takato," Izzy tapped his pencil on his chin.

"It's not like we can just pretend to help Takato study so that the principal can lay off his back," Rika snorted.

"Actually, that isn't a bad idea...," Tai grinned.

"Just one problem with that. I have a math test on Friday, and if I don't pass it, I'm banned from extracurricular activities for the entire year," Takato said.

"Then we'll tutor you!" Tai grinned.

"But that test is in a couple of days! I don't think you guys will be able to teach me enough things in that time," Takato said.

"Do you have any math worksheets with you right now?" Izzy asked.

"Here," Takato pulled a crumpled up piece of paper out of his knapsack.

"Oh boy...," Izzy bit his lip.

"What's wrong?" Mimi asked.

"I don't remember how to do this kind of math anymore. I haven't done arithmetic since...a long time," Izzy shook his head.

"Let me see!" Tai snatched the paper from Izzy's hands. "Thirteen minus six is...hot damn, that's some real advanced math right there."

"This is great! Goodbye host club!" Takato whimpered.

"I know someone who could help," Rika said.

"But Thomas left for Austria a week ago," Sora said.

"No, not Thomas. I've got a secret weapon of my own," Rika said.

* * *

_Day One: Tuesday!_

"Turning the host club into an extra study hall was such a good idea," one girl smiled at Tai.

"Not for me," Izzy mumbled from a couple of feet away. A bunch of girls were competing with each other, trying to get his undivided attention.

"He's mine!"

"Get your hands off of him, he's mine! He's going to help me with German!"

"What are you girls talking about? He's going to teach me Biomechanics, so that officially makes him totally mine, right Izzy?"

"Do you even know what Biomechanics are?"

"No, but that's why I need his help!"

"Oh boy," Izzy sighed.

"Hey, you should be happy. This might be the only time you'll have this many chicks fight over you," Koji smirked.

_*thwack*_ Izzy threw a textbook at Koji's head.

"Jealous," Koji muttered.

"I think it's so sweet how you're all being supportive of Takato!" one girl gushed.

"Well, you know...us hosts are like family, so when one of us suffers, the rest of us suffer. We adjusted our schedule a little so that Takato could focus on his schoolwork. We always put such importance on education, especially when it comes to the younger members of our club! We want them to be prepared when they become high-schoolers. They are the future," Tai said in a dramatic tone.

"Give me a break," Matt scoffed.

"Matt? What are you doing here?" Tai gasped.

"I pay to go here...I just wanted to tell you that Takato's drawing Pokemon or whatever in his notebook," Matt jerked his thumb at the back corner.

"So you really care about Takato's education, huh?" the girl said.

"Is that why you sent him to the back corner, all by his lonesome?" another girl asked.

"What? No!" Tai got flustered.

"You basically put Takato in time-out!" the first girl exclaimed.

"Just because he made a mistake on one of his tests doesn't give you the right to banish him to loneliness!" the other girl said.

"Technically, it does. He's not even supposed to be in this room right now," Tai bit his lip.

"Is Takato not smart enough to be in your host club?" the first girl crossed her arms.

"You're just a jerk! Come on, Lucy!" the other girl stuck her nose in the air.

"That's right, Marcia!" the first girl said.

"Hahahahahah!" Matt laughed.

"You asshole," Tai growled.

"No problem. Glad to help," Matt cackled.

"Hrhjslojjs," Tai gritted his teeth. "Izzy! Go check on the kid!"

"Gladly!" Izzy abruptly squeezed his way out of the crowd of girls.

"Hey, where are you going? Come back!" the girls whined.

"Yeah, that works. Red is definitely a power color! I'll give him the strongest attack ever; no one will ever expect that, especially from a rookie! I'm gonna make him even better than Agumon. I'll call it Pyrosphere!"

"Are you designing a Halloween costume?" Izzy peered over Takato's shoulder.

"No, it's a digimon. Don't you know anythin-oh shi...," Takato put his colored pencil down.

"Well, despite what happened yesterday, you don't seem to care about being on academic probation, do you?" Izzy hovered over Takato.

"Ah...yes? I mean no-no, a-actually, I do mean yes! I-I mean, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry!" Takato stammered.

"If you can't handle studying here, we'll have to move you somewhere less distracting," Izzy said.

"No, I'll focus on my work!" Takato slumped in his seat.

"I've already had a talk with your tutor, so he's going to do what he can to make sure you stay on track," Izzy said.

_*knock knock*_

"Do you have five bucks?" Mimi said.

"No."

"Sorry, you can't come in," Mimi frowned.

"Mimi, he's okay. Henry, come on in," Izzy motioned Henry inside.

"Thank you," Henry said.

"How come he gets to come in for free, but you guys charge me?" Matt said.

"That's because he's helping us out. You're mostly here to piss Tai off," Sora said.

"So you're saying that if I help out, I can come for free?" Matt asked.

"Just out of curiosity, how would you be helpful?" Sora raised an eyebrow.

"I could be the bouncer. Mimi does a lousy job at guarding the door, considering that Izzy or Tai end up telling her if it's okay to let people in. With me around, you guys don't need to keep an eye on me keeping an eye on the door!" Matt had a smug look on his face.

"No, that's exactly why we don't want you guarding the door. You'd let anything with a huge rack pass through without paying, and I bet you'd steal from our cash box too!" Tai said. "You see, Mimi is immune to boobies and she wouldn't steal cash, so I think we're fine without you!"

"What about Mimi, boobies, and cash?" TK gave Tai a quizzical look.

"Sounds like a nice combination if you ask me. Up high!" Davis held his hand up. "No...? That's okay. At least I leave with my dignity intac-" he slipped on a banana peel. "Ow."

"Where are these bananas coming from?" Sora huffed.

"So what did you say about your dignity, Davis?" Matt smirked.

"Fubb yew," Davis said, his face down on the floor.

"So are you the kid Rika sent over?" TK asked.

"Yep, that's me," Henry said.

"Wait a second! You're the half-Chinese kid!" Mimi said.

"Yeah, that's me...," Henry rubbed his arm.

"Mimi...," Sora gave her a stern look.

"What?" Mimi blinked, completely oblivious.

"Sorry about that, Henry. Let's go, Meems," Sora pulled her away.

"Bye Henry!" Mimi yelled.

"Okay, so as you know, Takato's having a little difficulty with math," Tai said. "If you can help him pass the math test on Friday, we'll pay you $200."

"No, that's okay. You don't have to pay me anything. I'd be glad to help my friend out," Henry said.

"Are you sure? We don't mind paying you," Tai said.

"I'm fine. You don't have to pay me at all. I mean it," Henry shook his head. "So where's Takato?"

"He's over there," Tai tilted his chin to the back corner.

"Thanks," Henry gave him a small nod.

"Hi Henry," Takato got up from his chair.

"How's it going so far?" Henry asked.

"Uh...," Takato leaned back on his desk, trying to hide his worksheet, but Henry quickly snatched it and shook his head.

"Takato," Henry groaned.

"Yeah," Takato nervously laughed.

"Hand over your backpack please," Henry outstretched his arm.

"Okay, why?" Takato cautiously gave Henry his knapsack.

"We need to get rid of any distractions," Henry shook Takato's backpack empty.

"Whoa! How do you fit anything in that tiny bag?" Tai walked by.

"This has to go...this, that, these definitely need to go, there's no way I'm letting you keep these," Henry sifted through the contents of Takato's bag.

"Wow, that is a lot of stuff," Izzy commented.

"Here, I need you to take these away," Henry handed Izzy and Tai an assortment colored pencils, crayons, color pens, a D-Arc, sketch pads, dreidels, paintbrushes, Superballs, wristbands, a pair of goggles, a couple of Archie comics in mint-condition, a Rubix cube, neon yo-yos, a GameBoy, a piggy bank, trading cards, oil pastels, and a bike tire.

"Noooo! I need that stuff," Takato whined.

"No, what you really need is a passing grade in math. If you pass this test, you'll get your stuff back on Friday," Henry crossed his arms. "Until then, the boys will keep your things on lockdown."

"You guys should listen to Henry," Rika said to Tai and Izzy.

"Don't you think he's being a little harsh?" Tai whispered.

"No," Izzy and Rika said in unison.

"Tai, he'll never get a good grade if we let him keep that stuff around," Izzy shifted his arms to get a better hold of Takato's toys.

"The kid's more distracted than a kid with double ADD," Rika said.

"She's got a point. But look at him. He looks so miserable. Can't we just let him keep his crayons at least?" Tai pouted.

"No!" Rika and Izzy said.

"And so, pitilessly, Takato's hellish days have begun," Tai sighed in pity.

* * *

_Day Two: Wednesday!_

"For some weird reason, I feel like I'm being stalked," Tai said.

"No one would stalk you. It's me they're after," Matt teasingly smirked.

"You're being completely ridiculous!" Sora playfully slapped Matt in the arm.

"This isn't a joking matter! I can just sense it," Tai said.

"You're just being paranoid," Sora said. "Nobody's following you."

"How can you be sure about that?" Tai nervously ran his hands through his hair.

*_Riiiinnnng_*

"We have to get to class. See you at lunch," Sora linked arms with Matt and walked down the hallway.

"No! Don't leave me by myself!" Tai screamed.

"You're a big boy! I think you can handle being alone for a little," Matt called out.

"This is crap!" Tai leaned against his locker. He stood back up and began twisting the knob on his combination lock. "One...nine...ni-," Tai warily looked through the corner of his eye. After seeing nothing, Tai pulled his lock out of the hook and grabbed his books. Before he closed his locker, Tai looked around the hallway one last time. "Hmm, maybe I am being paranoid...," he said to himself as he walked down the hallway.

_*shuffle shuffle*_

"Aha!" Tai swiftly turned around.

"Eeep!"

"Takato?" Tai squinted his eyes. Takato was at Tai's locker, trying to unlock it.

"Why are you trying to break into my locker?" Tai frowned.

"Can I get at least one of my things back? One toy wouldn't hurt," Takato said.

"Sorry, but you're gonna have to talk to Izzy about that. He has your stuff," Tai said.

"Oh," Takato pressed his finger on his bottom lip.

* * *

"This might sound crazy, but I think I'm being watched," Izzy said.

"Well duh! I am looking at you. It would be weird if I didn't look at you while we're talking," Mimi said.

"No, not like that. I feel like I'm being spied on," Izzy said.

"Who would want to spy on you? You don't really do anything interesting, except talk to me!" Mimi smiled. "Maybe they're spying on me!"

"Possibly," Izzy rolled his eyes.

*_Riiiinnng_*

"Ready for class?" Izzy sighed.

"No," Mimi giggled.

*_clank_*

"Huh...," Izzy slightly turned his head around. "Mimi, I'll catch up to you. Get to class."

"Okay," Mimi pouted and walked away.

"Uh oh...," Takato froze in his tracks.

"What are you doing?" Izzy crossed his arms.

"Nothing...just testing random locks in the school to make sure they're locked. It's a new school pro-."

"You can stop while you're ahead. Henry suspected that something like this would happen, so we stored your belongings elsewhere," Izzy said.

"What?" Takato gasped.

"Sorry, but Henry knows best. He instructed us to confiscate and hide anything that you might find fun. This is only for your own good," Izzy said.

"But..."

"Takato, do you want to stay in the host club?" Izzy asked.

"Yeah, but..."

"Do you want to end up repeating the eight grade?"

"No...," Takato sheepishly looked down at his feet.

"You just need to take it one step at a time. As long as you pay attention to Henry, then you'll have a better chance at passing the math test. You'll get your things back on Friday, okay?" Izzy said.

"Okay...," Takato whined.

* * *

"Hey, did you steal my makeup?" Mimi asked.

"Why would I steal your makeup?" Matt scoffed.

"You do seem like the kind of guy who would wear makeup," Izzy smirked.

"Please! This isn't makeup," Matt waved his hand around his face. "This is God's masterpiece."

"Someone's modest," Tai made a face.

"But you guys swear you didn't steal makeup?" Mimi pouted.

"No. Why are you so worried about it? You're too pretty to need makeup," Sora said.

"But you don't understand," Mimi fiddled with her scarf.

"Hey guys," Henry said.

"How's it going?" Tai asked.

"Not too well. I just came here to give this back to you," Henry handed Mimi a makeup pouch.

"Oh my gosh, thank you!" Mimi gasped. "Where'd you find it?"

"Takato had it," Henry said.

"Takato? Why?" Tai asked.

"Since I took away all of his art supplies, I guess he went through other resources. He was drawing Digimon on his arms and when I caught him, Takato was trying to cover his art with this," Henry gave Mimi a little jar. "I'm not judging you, but Rika over there probably is," Henry jerked his thumb down the hallway. Rika was sitting on Takato, trying to wipe the makeup from his arms.

"Thanks," Mimi blushed.

"Oooh, what's that?" Davis snuck up behind her and snatched up the jar. "Hickeys Bee Gone, made out of 100% beeswax?"

"Trying to cover up a hickey?" Tai flashed a mischievous smile.

"Who gave it to you?" Matt teased.

"Could you guys have at least waited until I was out of earshot?" Henry bit his lip.

"Was it you?" Sora asked Izzy.

"No way in hell! You must be delusional if you think Mimi and I are-"

"You friggin' bastard!" Rika yelled.

"Rika!" everyone dashed over to her.

"What's going on here?" Tai said.

"I was just trying to wipe that crap off his arm and he bit my hand! Now I might have rabies or something," Rika scornfully looked at Takato.

"She erased my Herculemon! He's a human-type Digimon that kicks ass so hard, that he could destroy Myotismon, the D-Reaper, the Royal Knights, and King Drasil all in one punch! I was gonna call him Mr. Satan, but I don't think many people would go for that," Takato said.

"That's quite an imagination you've got there...," Sora gave Takato a worried look.

"Now if you could just apply that imagination into paying attention in math. Let's go, we still have more things to review," Henry pulled Takato up from the floor. "By the way, we'll be studying in another room so you won't be distracted."

"Aw crud," Takato frowned.

* * *

_Day Three: Thursday!_

"Sora...," Takato tugged at the sleeve of Sora's shirt.

"What's up?" Sora asked.

"Just the usual. Henry took away all of my fun stuff and I'm going insane. Does God hate me?" Takato pouted.

"Of course not! God loves everyone," Sora said.

"Even Rika?"

"Yes, even Rika," Sora nodded.

"What about Koji?"

"That might be a different story," Sora said. "Shouldn't you get going? I'm pretty sure Henry's waiting for you."

"I don't want to go back yet. My brain hurts from all of this studying. If only I had something fun to unwind my brain. A brain is a muscle, right? And if you work your muscles out, you need to let them relax, right? Otherwise they'll get overexhausted, right?" Takato asked.

"Don't tell anyone, but here," Sora looked across the room before she handed Takato a little packet. "It was in a box of Cracker Jack. Don't let Henry catch you," she said and walked away.

"Surprise inside," Takato ripped open the cellophane wrapping and pulled out a stamp-sized piece of paper. "Can you guess who I am? I was born in Kentucky and moved to Indiana...blah blah, detach the panel and fold it over the perforated line to reveal my image as an adult," Takato read the tiny paper. He followed the instructions and frowned. "How is this fun? Maybe I should have went to Tai..."

"Takato. I should have figured you came here," Henry shook his head.

"Henry!" Takato fumbled with his paper toy.

"What's that in your hand?" Henry tilted his chin.

"It's uh...educational paper," Takato said.

"Prove it to me. Hand it over," Henry held out his palm.

"Why are you making a big deal? It's just a piece of paper," Takato clenched his fist.

"That's right. It's only a piece of paper, so it shouldn't be a big deal if I see it," Henry patiently said.

"Why are you acting like this? You're not my dad!" Takato let out a deep exhale.

"This is for your own good," Henry firmly spoke.

"That's something my dad would say! Who do you think you are?" Takato scrunched up his face.

"I'm your friend. I'm trying to help you out, Takato."

"Funny. My friends don't make my life miserable, well...except Rika. But that's not the point! The point is ever since you decided to 'help' me out, you've turned my life into a prison! No fun, no friends, no anything! I'm going out of my mind! One stupid piece of paper isn't going to hurt anyone!" Takato crumpled the paper in his hands and threw it at Henry.

"You say that now, but wait till Friday. Maybe then, you'll see how much damage a piece of paper can do," Henry drew in a deep breath.

"Whoa, it's so creepy. You can tell Henry's really pissed, but he's acting super calm," Davis cringed.

"That's Henry for you. Even when he's mad, he doesn't really like to let it out. Pacifist," Rika rolled her eyes.

"You're only doing this because you want to rub it in my face, don't you? Oooh, I'm Henry Wong and I'm sooo smart in math! Well, you're nothing but a jackass! You suck!" Takato tackled Henry and elbowed him in the gut.

"Ooof," Henry gasped.

"I'm done with you," Takato got up from the floor and walked out of the room.

"I gotta go...," Rika covered her mouth and shook. She dashed out into the hallway.

_"Ha ha ha ha ha, oh my god! That was so funny!"_

"Seems like Rika's fine," Koji smirked.

"Henry, are you okay?" Tai ran over to him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Henry slowly sat up and stared at the floor.

"That was pretty harsh. If you ask me, that was pretty out-of-character for Takato," Sora frowned.

"I made that happen. Everything was my fault," Henry said.

"Don't say that. You were only trying to help Takato pass math. It's not your fault he went batshit insane," TK said.

"Don't you understand? It was all my fault we're in this situation," Henry tugged at his hair. "I was the one who was trading Digimon cards with Takato. He was already doing bad in math, and I only made matters worse by getting him in trouble. He's right. I am a horrible friend."

"Wait...so you did this on purpose, didn't you?" Sora asked.

"Why would you purposely get your best friend in trouble? That is pretty screwed up," Kouichi said.

"No, he didn't purposely get Takato in trouble! He wanted Takato to get mad at him. He was trying to punish himself, weren't you, Henry?" Sora said.

"I don't blame Takato for hating me. If I were Takato, I'd hate me too. I made this happen and it's all my fault that he's going to fail math," Henry shook his head.

"Henry, unless you had a gun to Takato's head, I think it's pretty safe to say that Takato willingly decided to trade cards with you during class. Takato can make his own choices, and he's just going to have to own up to the consequences that come with his decisions. If he does fail math, it's his fault, and his alone. Whether or not he wants to pass math is up to him. You shouldn't have to take responsibility for whatever choices he makes," Izzy said.

"He's right," Sora said. "You can do everything in your power to help him, but in the end, Takato follows his own decisions."

"I don't know. I still feel like I did something wrong," Henry said.

"I'm sorry, Henry!" Takato ran over to him. "You were only trying to help me study but I had to be a huge dummy! You don't need to tutor me, if you don't want to. I promise I'll work hard this time around! I'm sorry!" Takato cried out.

"Then consider it a deal! Now let's to studying," Henry said.

"How about a round of Digimon cards first?" Takato awkwardly smiled.

"Takato...," everyone groaned.

"I was just kidding!" Takato nervously laughed.

* * *

"Oh, I get it now!" Takato grinned in pride.

"What's with all of the Skittles?" Kouichi asked.

"My initial approach was pretty ineffective. I thought that by taking away anything Takato finds entertaining, it would help him focus on his studies. Obviously, that backfired so I decided to go about this another way. Takato is more of a hands-on kid, so by using these Skittles as visual aids, it not only helps him learn, but it keeps his attention. Now Takato, if I had eight green Skittles and Rika gave me three red ones, how many Skittles would I have all together?" Henry pushed eight green Skittles and three red ones across Takato's desk.

"Eight," Takato said.

"No, I had eight Skittles already, but Rika gave me three more. So how much would I have?" Henry sighed.

"Sure seems like your teaching method's working," Koji smirked.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" Henry glared at Koji.

"You get eight Skittles," Takato said. "This is a trick question, because Rika would never give you candy."

"Yep, I stand corrected. Takato's got the right answer," Koji said.

"Okay, let's say that I had these eight Skittles, but then _you_ gave me the three red Skittles. Now how much of them would I have all together?" Henry sighed in exasperation.

"Eleven," Takato said.

"Great!" Henry smiled.

"Can I eat the Skittles now?" Takato asked.

"Go ahead," Henry said.

Takato picked up the eight green Skittles and the three red ones and he dropped them in his mouth.

"Seriously, Henry? Are you trying to help him pass math or are you trying to give him diabetes?" Rika shook her head.

"Whatever works," Henry said.

"At this rate, he'll be a diabetic math genius," Koji snorted.

"You know what? You guys are like two peas in a pod," Henry crossed his arms.

"_No we're not!_" Rika and Koji yelled at the same time. "_Hey, stop that!_" "_No you stop that!_" "_Stop_ _copying what I'm saying_!" "_Please, you're copying me!_"

"Let's keep studying," Takato grimaced.

"Whoa. That has to be the first time I've heard you say that," Henry commented.

"Well, they're kinda scaring me and I want more Skittles," Takato said.

* * *

_Test Day: Friday!_

"Don't you think it's a little creepy how we're hanging around outside a middle-school classroom?" Kouichi said.

"Shhh...," Tai put his finger to his lips.

"Okay, Takato's done. Act natural!" Henry whispered.

"Hey guys. What's going on?" Takato gave everyone a quizzical look.

"Nothing...so how did you do on that test?" Sora asked.

"I got a B+!" Takato held up his paper.

"Nice one!" TK grinned.

"We knew you could do it," Izzy said.

"Yeah. It feels good to pass, and it's all thanks to you Henry! You're a good friend," Takato said.

"Thanks," Henry cracked a small smile.

"Now where's my stuff?" Takato eagerly asked.

"In Rika's locker. We figured it would be the last place you would look," Tai said.

"That's because her locker is in another school. I would have never thought of looking there," Takato said.

"Precisely," Izzy smirked.

"Can you keep it down? I'm trying to win a D-Arc on EBay! I have no idea what it is, but it looks so cool! If only _Justimon_ would stop outbidding me!" Davis angrily pressed at his cell phone.

"Did you just say D-Arc?" Takato asked.

"Yeah, why?" Davis looked up from his phone.

"Who's selling it?" Henry asked.

"Someone by the name of _YellowFox03_," Davis replied.

"Rika!" Takato and Henry gasped.

"Let's go before she sells all of your things!"

"Dammit! That _Justimon_ got it!" Davis grumbled. "There's always these goggles. I need a new pair anyways."


	13. Izzy In Wonderland!

**Author's Note: I originally thought of having this chapter focusing on Rika or Sora, but I just wanted to take it a little further by having a male character for this chapter instead. Now that it's said and done, enjoy!**

**Izzy In Wonderland!**

"What you do to one side, you must do to the other."

"That's what she said," a dark-haired kid scoffed. He was dressed in goth attire and he was carving away at the top of his desk with a pen.

"Zip it, Carter. Now where was I? That's right. After that, you keep doing this until the value _x_ equals _a_, _b_, _c_, _d_...," the teacher continued talking.

"Hmm," Izzy exhaled. He glanced at the clock and then back at his textbook.

"Hey," Mimi poked him in the arm.

"What?" Izzy yawned.

"This is going to be the longest five minutes ever," she pouted.

"Yeah," Izzy yawned again. He closed his eyes and he began to doze off.

"Hey, don't fall asleep on me," Mimi poked him again.

"Mimi," Izzy groaned. "It still fathoms me how you ended up being in every one of my classes."

"I don't understand what you're saying, but I'll just take it as a compliment!"

"Tachikawa, Izumi. If you're both into small talk, I can set you up on a nice little date in detention," the teacher sternly said.

"Ew," Mimi wriggled her nose in disgust.

"Sorry, Mr. Caputo," Izzy droned.

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" a tiny red-headed boy dashed through the hallway. He was in white footie pajamas with bunny ears sticking out of the hood. The boy wore a black vest over his pajamas and he was frantically clutching on to a giant pocket watch.

"What the...?" Izzy said to himself.

"Izzy, where the hell are you going?" the teacher said, very irate.

"Uh...," Izzy blushed, not realizing that he was only a couple of inches away from the doorway, satchel in tow. "I'm not feeling too good?"

"You do look feverish. Go on then," the teacher shooed him away.

"Thank you," Izzy was about to bow but the teacher motioned him to stand up straight.

"That's not necessary. I don't need you puking in my classroom. Now go," the teacher shooed him away.

"That's not fair! How come you let Izzy go early, but when I feel sick, you don't let me leave?"

"Because he doesn't pretend to throw up by spitting badly-cooked oatmeal over my desk, Carter. Now, I don't think it'll hurt you to sit still for another 240 seconds."

"Owww! The paaaaain!" the goth kid dramatically mocked.

"Yes. You are," the teacher huffed.

* * *

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" the boy in the bunny suit kept running.

"Late?" Izzy wondered, trying to catch up to the boy. As he was running, Izzy couldn't help but to realize that the boy looked a lot like him, except that he was about the size of Izzy's finger.

"Don't you understand?! I'm running late! I have no time for chit-chat!" the bunny boy yelled and ran into a classroom.

"What the heck?" the further down Izzy went, the ceilings hung lower and the hallway became narrower. Izzy stretched his arm out. Even though the classroom looked like it was far away, Izzy was easily able to touch the door. He tried to twist the doorknob, but his hands were way too big to open the door. "Is it me, or is this door illogically small?"

"Depends on which angle you're looking at it through," a guard stood next to the door. Her hair was an orange shade, and she was donned in a navy blue doorman uniform.

"Sora?" Izzy squinted his eyes.

"Who is Sora? I am Dorah, guardian of the portal!" the guard tapped on the door.

"Uh, Dorah? I need to follow that boy in the rabbit suit," Izzy said.

"Good luck with that! He doesn't stop for anything or anyone. Everyone just gave up trying to catch up to him, but if you want to waste your time chasing after him, be my guest," Dorah shrugged.

"Just one problem. I can't walk any further down the hallway. I'm way too big," Izzy said.

"Look behind you," Dorah pointed. A table popped up in back of Izzy.

"Where'd that come from?" Izzy asked.

"This isn't really the time to ask questions. You'll only get frustrated from this point on," Dorah said.

"I'm already frustrated," Izzy grumbled. "Eat me?" Izzy stared at a plate of cookies.

"What do these do?" Izzy held up a cookie.

"Eat it and you'll find out," Dorah said.

"Whoa!" Izzy took a bite and he gradually started to shrink. His satchel dropped off his shoulder and onto the floor.

"Oh my!" Dorah shielded her eyes.

"What the hell?" Izzy looked down to see that he was wearing a powder-blue lederhosen and a matching blue Bavarian hat. He still had on his black dress shoes, and he was wearing white knee-high socks.

"Where's my school uniform?"

"Oh, that? It's way too big for you," Dorah pointed at the green fabric mountain of a uniform. "On the bright side, your outfit brings out the...never mind, baby blue is not your color."

"You may look like Sora, but you sound like Mimi," Izzy shook his head.

"Who?" Dorah gave him a quizzical look.

"Never mind," Izzy said.

"Alright," Dorah held open the door. "Good luck! You're going to need it!"

* * *

_*SLAM*_ The doors shut behind Izzy, and the room went completely dark.

"I'm late, I'm late!"

"What is he late for?" Izzy said. Suddenly, a little beam of light shone from the other side of the classroom. Izzy walked toward the light but he fell into a trap door. "Ahhhh!" He screamed. He was freefalling for minutes until he finally landed on a dirt ground. He looked up to see Rika trying to row a gondola. Matt was on the other side, blowing on a bubble pipe and reading a dirty magazine. Rika was wearing a black-and-white striped shirt and a huge straw hat while Matt was dressed in a caterpillar costume, with a silky burgundy robe over the costume.

"Mush, girl, mush!" Matt said.

"I'm trying! Don't you know how hard it is to steer this boat in a puddle?" Rika snarled.

"That really isn't my problem," Matt nonchalantly flipped through his smutty magazine.

"What are you doing?" Izzy walked up to them.

"Having a relaxing time on this lake," Matt said.

"This is a lake?" Izzy said.

"Yes. This is the lake of tears. It's made up of all of the tears you've shed throughout your lifetime," Matt blew on his pipe.

"If you ask me, seems like your life's been pretty easy. This puddle here is definitely not big enough to be a lake. There aren't even enough tears to fill up a coffee cup," Rika scoffed.

"My life hasn't been entirely easy," Izzy pointed out.

"If your life was supposedly as rough as you say it is, then why isn't this lake any bigger?" Matt asked.

"I don't know," Izzy frowned.

"You know, it's okay to cry once in a while. I get a little teared up when I see how beautiful my reflection is," Matt smiled.

"And I want to cry buckets of tears every time Caterpillar talks," Rika muttered.

"Excuse me," Thomas tapped Matt on the shoulder. Relena was by Thomas's side, holding his hand.

"What can I do you for?" Matt blew bubbles in Thomas's face.

"Hi," Thomas swatted the bubbles away. "Do you have any mushrooms left?"

"Depends," Matt yawned.

"Mushrooms?" Izzy asked.

"Yeah. The Caterpillar sells shrooms on the sly. Let's just say he runs a clandestine business. He's probably the most famous dealer in all of Wonderland," Rika whispered.

"How does that make sense? How can someone be famous for something they do in secret?" Izzy asked.

"Welcome to Wonderland, where nothing's supposed to make sense. Get used to it," Rika snapped.

"Would this change your mind?" Thomas pulled a ball of money out of his back pocket.

"How can I change my mind when I didn't make a decision in the first place?" Matt untied his silk robe and held it open. In the lining were small pockets filled with colorful mushrooms. "Now which ones do you want?"

"I'll have the pink one," Relena said.

"And I'll take a green mushroom," Thomas handed Matt the wad of money.

"All transactions are final sale, nice doing business with you! Bon appetit!" Matt gave Thomas two mushrooms and tied his robe closed. "Hey, redhead!"

"Me?" Izzy pointed to himself.

"Yes you! Do you want a shroom? It's on the house," Matt held out a purple mushroom.

"Don't take it," Rika whispered.

"Why not?" Izzy asked.

"You'll see," Rika tilted her head toward Thomas and Relena.

_*crunch*_ Thomas and Relena bit into their mushrooms. Thomas started to shrink and de-age while Relena grew taller and older, wheelchair out of sight.

"Gaga goo goo," Thomas babbled.

"Ooooh, I'm so much bigger!" Relena marveled at her new teenaged body.

"You sure are. Now come to Daddy," Matt had a mischievous smirk on his face.

"Okay!" Relena eagerly leaped into Matt's lap and snuggled up close to him.

"What the...?" Izzy shook his head.

"No, you're not seeing things," Rika said.

"Hey you!" Matt pointed at Izzy. "So, do you want a mushroom? It's free."

"No, no thanks. I'm allergic to fungi," Izzy declined.

"Suit yourself," Matt shrugged and went back to foreplay with Relena.

"Gaga goooo...," baby Thomas crawled toward a random door.

"Guys! Look where the baby's going!" Izzy said.

"Why are you telling me? That's not really any of my business," Matt said.

"But-"

"If you're so concerned with the baby's well-being, then you go after it. I'm too busy attending to more important matters," Matt breezily said as he stroked Relena's cheek.

"Can you believe this guy?" Izzy turned to Rika.

"I wish I didn't have to," Rika huffed.

"Kiraaaa!" Matt sang.

"What?!" Rika snapped.

"Your name's Kira?" Izzy asked. Rika simply nodded.

"Stop the chit-chat. It's time for you to drive us to the other side of the lake," Matt clapped his hands.

"Ugh," Kira rolled her eyes.

"I guess I should get going. I have to make sure the baby's fine," Izzy said.

"Why? He's not your responsibility," Kira said.

"Because...well, I don't know. I just know that I have to watch out for him because nobody else is going to and I'm not going to let that baby get in any danger just because everyone else is too selfish and stupid to look over him," Izzy wrung his hands.

"Alright, if that's your prerogative," Kira turned the boat around.

"Goo goo!" baby Thomas crawled into a door that lead to a dark space.

"Thomas!" Izzy ran through the doorway and chased after a crawling Thomas. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Thomas safe in Mimi's arms. Mimi was dressed in a pink princess gown and she had a gold tiara on her head.

"Shh...," Mimi cradled Thomas in her arms.

"Mimi?" Izzy blinked.

"It's Duchess to you," Mimi turned to face Izzy.

"Uh, sorry...," Izzy grabbed the back of his hair.

"It's okay, but you better not make that mistake again," Duchess Mimi gently said. "He's asleep now."

"Duchess, the queen sent this to you," Kouichi handed the duchess a huge pink ticket. Kouichi wore a striped purple turtleneck, dark purple skinny jeans with a tail sticking out of the bum, and a yellow bandana on his neck. To complete the look, Kouichi had purple cat ears on his head and whiskers drawn on his face.

"Oh goody! A front-row ticket!" the duchess squealed. "Here," she handed the sleeping baby to Izzy.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Izzy awkwardly held Thomas in his arms.

"Can you be a darling and watch him for me? Thank you, you're such a doll! Anyways, I have to get ready!" the duchess ran off.

"But I don't know how to take care of babies...," Izzy trailed off.

"She doesn't care. She just needed someone to dump the baby on while she goes out," Koji snuck up behind Izzy. Koji was donned in the same costume as Kouichi.

"Figures I would be stuck with it," Izzy sighed.

"If it makes you feel better, he's not her baby," Kouichi said.

"Eeeeeee," baby Thomas squealed in delight.

"I think the baby likes you," Kouichi said.

"Too bad he's not really a baby," Koji snorted.

"What are you talking about? Of course he's a baby!" Izzy protested.

"Just look," Kouichi pointed at Izzy's arms.

"What the?" Izzy looked down. Thomas was replaced by a pile of baby blue sheets. "I swear I was just holding Thomas!"

"On the bright side, you don't have to take care of him anymore," Kouichi shrugged.

"That is what you wanted, right?" Koji leaned against a wall and crossed his arms.

"I mean, it's a bit relieving but I can't help but to feel like something wrong's bound to happen," Izzy looked at the ball of blankets in his arms.

"With Thomas gone, you can go to the Queen's castle. She's holding a trial and everyone's going to be there," Kouichi said.

"A trial?" Izzy asked.

"Yeah. Wonderland doesn't really have many laws, so it's kind of a big deal when someone's on trial," Kouichi said.

"Trials are probably the biggest social gatherings in Wonderland. I mean, who doesn't love a good beheading?" Koji smirked.

"Beheading?" Izzy's jaw dropped.

"That's what usually happens at the end of every trial," Kouichi said.

"You said that there aren't many rules in Wonderland, right? So what did this guy do to warrant a beheading?" Izzy asked.

"Beats me," Koji said. "We don't know all of the laws here, so we don't know if we're breaking the rules half of the time."

"What?" Izzy rubbed his forehead. "How can you live like this? Walking around hoping you don't make the wrong move?"

"I guess it just keeps us on our toes," Kouichi said.

"So when does this trial start?" Izzy asked.

"It must be fairly soon, since the duchess left fifteen minutes ago. She doesn't like to show up on time," Kouichi said.

"She likes to be fashionably early," Koji rolled his eyes.

"Don't you mean fashionably late?" Izzy asked.

"Fashionably late? In Wonderland, being even a second late is a huge faux pas," Kouichi said.

"I guess they really like their punctuality here," Izzy muttered.

"They take it a little too seriously. That's what happened to this girl, Kira. She used to be captain of a pirate ship, and now I heard she's rowing a little boat for some sleazy caterpillar, just because she showed up at a boatowner's meeting exactly fourteen point fifty-seven seconds late," Koji said.

"From what I hear, there's this force that makes her keep rowing the boat so she can't even stop, even if she wanted to. I suggest you start heading to the Queen's castle now if you want to avoid any consequences," Kouichi said.

"Okay," Izzy gently placed the baby blankets on a nearby crib. "Are you guys coming?"

"Sorry, but we can't. No cats allowed," Kouichi said.

* * *

"I probably should have asked them how to get to the court. I've been walking around in a circle," Izzy moaned.

"_Does your chain hang low?_"

Izzy heard a voice coming from behind a pillar. He peeked behind it to see TK and Davis talking to each other. They both wore newsboy caps, oversized tees, overalls, raggedy slacks, and worn-out penny loafers.

"Does it wobble to the floor?" Davis pulled out a chain link from his pocket.

"Does it shine in the light?" TK wore his chain link on his neck.

"Is it platinum, is it gold?" Davis held up his chain so that TK could see the different metals.

"Could you throw it over your shoulder?" TK twirled his chain around his neck.

"Like a continental soldier?" Davis smirked.

"Wait...I feel like someone's spying on us," TK squinted his eyes.

"I feel it too...," Davis looked around.

"It's just me," Izzy stepped out from behind the pillar.

"Hmm...," TK eyed Izzy suspiciously.

"Do you know the Muffin Man?" Davis asked.

"The Muffin Man?" Izzy shot Davis an annoyed look.

"The Muffin Man," Davis nodded.

"Do you know the Muffin Man?" TK interrogated.

"The one who lives on Drury Lane?" Izzy asked.

"So you do know him!" TK gasped.

"You're one of them!" Davis screamed.

"One of what? No! I don't know the Muffin Man who lives in Drury Lane. I just heard of him," Izzy quickly shook his head.

"Oh thank God! That guy's pure evil!" TK sighed in relief.

"He is?" Izzy asked.

"Pure evil. Tweedledee," Davis pointed at TK.

"And Tweedledum," TK put his arm around Davis's shoulders.

"We went to the bakery to buy some cupcakes, but the Muffin Man went batshit crazy on us," Davis said.

"Apparently, cupcakes and muffins were two totally different things," TK said.

"And the Muffin Man hates cupcakes ever since he got divorced," Davis said.

"You see, the Muffin Man was married to the Cupcake Chick, but when they separated," TK said.

"The Cupcake Chick opened up her own shop, where she sells cupcakes," Davis said.

"And since then, the Muffin Man and the Cupcake Chick became rivals," TK said.

"The Cupcake Chick is really nice though," Davis said.

"It's the Muffin Man who's bitter," TK frowned.

"Even his batter is bitter," Davis stuck his tongue out.

"So when we went to the Muffin Man's shop, he thought we were being jerks because we asked for cupcakes," TK said.

"He got so offended, he bitched to the Queen," Davis crossed his arms.

"And now we have to wear these chains for the rest of our lives," TK held up his chain.

"What's so bad about that?" Izzy asked.

"They're a lot heavier than they look," TK said.

"Here, try it," Davis placed some of his chain in Izzy's hands.

"Oomph!" the chain weighed Izzy down and he fell on his face.

"They're heavy, aren't they?" Davis picked his chain back up.

"Imagine having to wear these all of the time," TK frowned.

"Sorry," Izzy said. "Look, I have to get going."

"Oooh, where are you going?" Davis asked.

"I'm going to the Queen's court," Izzy replied.

"What did you do?" TK asked.

"Nothing," Izzy said.

"So you heard about the White Rabbit, huh?" Davis gave Izzy a disapproving look.

"What about him?" Izzy said.

"He finally got captured," TK shook his head.

"Why? What did he do?" Izzy asked.

"Probably something really bad. Why else would he be constantly running around?" Davis said.

"But we don't know that," Izzy said.

"Think about it. If you're a criminal on the run, would you take one second just to stop? Wouldn't you keep running?" TK asked.

"I guess you have a good point. But still, whatever the White Rabbit did can't be that bad," Izzy said.

"Whatever he did had to be bad enough to get a beheading," Davis smirked.

"We don't get many beheadings in Wonderland, but when we do, everyone shows up," TK said.

"Are you guys coming along?" Izzy asked.

"No. I get a weak stomach," TK frowned.

"And I wouldn't be a good friend if I went without him," Davis said.

"Well, I'm still going," Izzy firmly said.

"We know a shortcut," Davis said.

"Just turn right at that alley, and when you get to the next intersection, turn left-"

"WRONG! You turn left at the alleyway, and then right!" Davis yelled.

"No, you're wrong!" TK poked Davis hard in the chest.

"No, you're wrong!" Davis slapped TK in the arm.

"No, you're wrong!" TK slapped Davis on the top of his head.

"Hey!" Davis tackled TK to the ground.

"Thanks, guys but I should probably get going, so thanks for the help...," Izzy gingerly stepped back.

"Wait!" Davis sat up.

"We just remembered something!" TK said, still lying down on the floor.

"The yellow brick road leads to the Queen's court!" Davis said.

"What?" Izzy rubbed his eyes and blinked.

"The yellow brick road leads to the Queen's court," TK repeated.

"Uh, thanks," Izzy slowly nodded his head.

"No problem," TK said. "Now where were we?"

"I think I was just about to apologize for yelling at you," Davis said.

"And I'm sorry for yelling at you," TK said. "Kiss and make up?"

"I could never pass that up," Davis pinned TK down to the ground.

"Okay, gotta go...," Izzy cringed.

"I love you," Davis whispered.

"I love you too," TK dreamily said.

* * *

"_Happy happy unbirthday!_

_We sing this tune for you_

_And if that cake is yummy_

_We want to eat some too!_"

"Yay!" Takato clapped his hands in delight. He was dressed up in a pink bunny costume, red bow tie, and he had a red party hat on his head.

"Here, I think you'll like this!" Tai pushed a huge box toward Takato. Tai wore an olive-green jacket, tight green slacks, red suspenders, a teal bow tie, and he had a huge, green top hat on his head. Henry sat next to Takato, wearing a light brown mouse costume. "Look! We have a guest!"

"Did he bring any presents?" Takato looked at Izzy.

"No. Was I supposed to?" Izzy asked.

"You can't show up to an unbirthday empty-handed! There's no room for freeloaders!" Takato gasped.

"He's right," Tai agreed. Henry just stood silent.

"What's an unbirthday?" Izzy asked.

"Exactly what it sounds like. A day that isn't your birthday," Henry said.

"We might have one birthday, but we only get 364 unbirthdays," Tai pouted.

"And on Leap Years, 365 unbirthdays," Takato piped up.

"So this," Izzy smacked some balloons out if his face, "is how you celebrate an unbirthday? How do you celebrate an actual birthday?"

"We wouldn't know," Tai solemnly put his fork down on the table. "You see, it's three o'clock here all of the time, so the day never ends."

"So the time stays the same?" Izzy asked.

"Yeah," Takato sadly sighed. "We haven't celebrated an actual birthday in a long time."

_*ding ding ding*_

"It's three o'clock!" Takato sprung up from his chair and clapped his hands. "Happy unbirthday to me! So what did you get me, stranger?"

"Uh...," Izzy was caught off-guard.

"Let's try this again. Stranger, leave this room and don't come back until you have something to give," Takato commanded.

"What?!" Izzy's jaw dropped.

"It's not a big deal. Just give anything. Even a spare button is better than nothing," Tai whispered in his ear.

"Okay, okay," Izzy huffed. He stepped out of the room and walked back in.

"Hello stranger! Welcome to my unbirthday party! Didja get me anything?" Takato happily asked.

"You know, in my world, it's rude to demand presents from your guests," Izzy said.

"Well, we aren't in your world at the moment. Also, you're not really a guest since I didn't invite you to my party, but if you give me a present, I would be happy to have you as a guest!" Takato cheerfully said.

"This kid should have been a lawyer," Izzy muttered.

"He used to be until the Queen banished him to this standstill," Henry said.

"Why?" Izzy asked.

"He was too good of a lawyer. When the Mad Hatter was on trial," Henry gestured to Tai, "the March Hare," he cocked his head in Takato's direction, "came up with such a good convincing argument to free the Mad Hatter. The Queen didn't want to free the Mad Hatter because he's...he's mad!" Henry did the cuckoo sign. "Since she couldn't punish the Mad Hatter for being crazy, she decided to imprison the March Hare into this room for assisted escape. That gave her the excuse to send the Mad Hatter here for conspiracy of brainwashing."

"Then how did you end up here?" Izzy asked.

"I accidentally broke a mirror at one of the Queen's parties. Since we were all in the court the same day, she decided to save time and sentence us to the same punishment," Henry said.

"Oh," Izzy pursed his lips.

"Stranger...so whaddya get me?" Takato sang.

"Happy unbirthday," Izzy handed Takato a lumpy package covered in old newspaper.

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I wonder what it is!" Takato excitedly tore at the wrapping. "Oh my gosh, just what I've always wanted! Thank you, stranger!"

"No problem," Izzy shrugged. He looked down at his shoeless feet.

"Now who wants some cake?" Takato took one huge bite out of his cake.

"I'll have one!" the Mad Hatter said.

"Okay!" Takato out three huge cakes on a table. "There's one for everyone! Now dig in!"

"Uh, March Hare? If you keep eating all of those sweets, you might get a cavity," Izzy grimaced at the sight of Takato scarfing down cake to cake.

"Huh?" Takato stopped mid-bite.

"Don't forget to brush your teeth," Henry said.

"Oh, okay!" Takato grinned before he went back to his cakes.

"Thank you for inviting me to this party, but I should head out," Izzy said.

"Aww, so soon?" Tai frowned.

"Unfortunately yes," Izzy said.

"Thank you for these shoes! They're the best present you've ever given me," Takato hugged the shoes that were formerly Izzy's.

"You're welcome," Izzy said.

"Here, you can't leave empty-handed! Here's some cake for the road!" Takato handed Izzy a huge pink box.

"Uh, thanks. Bye," Izzy waved goodbye.

"Bye! Come again soon!" Tai said.

* * *

_*rumble*_

"Oh man...," Izzy hunched over. He was hungry, and his feet were aching from all of the shoeless walking. The only food close by was the cake in his hands, but he wasn't particularly fond of sweets. Izzy plopped down at the side of the road and started to take a bite of his cake anyways. As he was chewing, he got a funny feeling in his chest.

"Hey you, hey you, hey you!"

"Huh? Me?" Izzy asked.

"You have to be the one!" Keenan trudged over to Izzy with a box in his hands. Keenan was dressed like a prince, with many badges and pins on his sash.

"The one what?" Izzy asked.

"The one destined," Keenan said.

"The one destined for what?" Izzy gave Keenan a strange look.

"I've been looking far and near for that special someone and you're my last hope," Keenan said, fiddling with his box.

"I don't want to make any absurd assumptions, so can you tell me what's going on?" Izzy leaned back a little far from Keenan.

"You were the one destined to wear these shoes," Keenan opened the box to reveal what was inside.

"Uh...are you sure I'm the one you're looking for?" Izzy made a face. Inside the box was a pair of red sequined heels, with cute little bows on the toes.

"You have to be! I've already went to everyone else, and none of them were able to fit these shoes!" Keenan said. "Just try them on!"

"Oh boy," Izzy took a deep breath and grabbed one of the shoes. He slowly put it on his foot, silently praying that the shoe wouldn't fit. Unfortunately, the shoe slipped on easily.

"I knew I would find you! I knew it!"

"Great, so these shoes fit me. So what?" Izzy grumpily said.

"That means you have to go to the Queen on a special mission. Once you complete your task, just repeat 'There's no place like home' and click your heels three times and before you know it, you'll be back to where you came from," Keenan said.

"But what is my mission exactly?" Izzy asked.

"Only your heart can tell you that," Keenan said.

"And do I seriously have to wear these shoes?" Izzy held up the red pumps.

"Yes, not that you should be complaining. It's not like you have any other shoes on," Keenan pointed down at Izzy's feet. "Only you have the power to save everyone from their unjust sentences. As you might have heard, the Queen is a royal bitch. She's the one who calls the shots around Wonderland; the King is basically just a figurehead. It is up to you to stand up for us and the only way you can do so is by wearing those shoes!"

"What kind of rubbish is that?" Izzy spat.

"I don't know," Keenan shrugged. "That's all I can say though. I bid thee well!" Keenan left the shoes with Izzy and ran off.

"I need to get out of this place!" Izzy rubbed his temples. He turned back to his cake, which shrank into the size of his fingernail. "It wasn't that small the last time I looked at it," Izzy examined the tiny cake and ate it. He then picked up the girly, red shoes and clicked the soles against each other. He grudgingly slipped them on and stood up. "Gah...," Izzy wobbled back over to the dirt path. As he put one foot down, the whole road began to change color. Izzy watched as the dirt road turned into a golden, brick pavement.

"_The yellow brick road leads to the Queen's court..._," Davis and TK's voices echoed in Izzy's mind.

Izzy slowly put one foot in front of the other, unsteadily walking down the walkway. Although Izzy was frustrated that he couldn't walk in heels, he was grateful at the same time. The fact that Izzy wasn't an expert at walking in women's shoes gave him the only sense of masculinity he had left.

*ding...ding...ding*

"The trials will commence now! The doors will close at exactly at sixteen-hundred!"

"It's 3:59!" Izzy glanced his calculator watch. He was still a couple of buildings away, but he knew he couldn't make it on time of he continued walking in the heels. He took them off and dashed toward the court. When he approached the court building, the guards were already starting to close the doors. "Wait!"

"Huh?" one bumbling guard looked at Izzy.

"Don't pay attention to him. We've gotta lock up," another guard poked the first guard with his rifle.

"I said wait!" Izzy hurled one of the heels at the closing doors. The heel got caught in between the doors. Izzy dashed over and slipped through the crack. "Thanks guys!" Izzy pulled the shoe out from between the doors and walked inside the court.

"White Rabbit, you have been accused of being a fugitive! Do you have anything to say about that?" the Queen sat on a throne in the front of the courtroom. The King was sitting on a throne adjacent to hers. Both of them were wearing masks and they had huge crowns on their heads.

"You don't understand, Madame! I'm running late! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" the White Rabbit hopped in place.

"Someone detain this rabbit!" the Queen commanded.

"On it!"

Izzy turned around to see a surly guard pick up a huge chain link from the corner, a chain link similar to the ones TK and Davis had. The guard forced the rabbit into a seat and tied him up with the chain.

"Thank you," the Queen sharply said.

"Madame! You don't understand! I have to be somewhere else right now! Please let me go! I'm running late!" the White Rabbit pleaded.

"Ha! The only thing you're late to is your own execution!" the Queen scoffed. "Guards!"

"Yes ma'am!" a couple of guards saluted her and surrounded the rabbit. One guard pulled a black sack from his back pocket and put it over the rabbit's head.

"No...no...," Izzy froze. He watched as another guard pulled a sword out of his scabbard.

"Now!" the Queen commanded. On cue, the guard swung his sword in the air.

"Don't do it!" Izzy yelled but it was too late. The black sack fell to the ground, right next to the lifeless body in the chair.

"Gentlemen, take him away!" the Queen yelled.

"Yes ma'am!" the guards pulled the rabbit's dead body out of the court. "And now we're on to the case of the Alice imposter!" the Queen pointed at Izzy.

"What did I do?!" Izzy jumped.

"You tell me," the Queen haughtily crossed her arms.

"I don't think I did anything wrong," Izzy said.

"That outfit is wrong! It's hideously criminal!" the Duchess blurted from the pews.

"Tell me, why were you so concerned for the White Rabbit? Are you guys accomplices?" the Queen angrily interrogated.

"No! I didn't even know the rabbit! I just tried to follow him, but he was too quick," Izzy said.

"So you admit that you were with the White Rabbit!" the Queen shouted.

"I never said that!" Izzy said.

"Then why do you look like him?" the Queen asked.

"What are you talking about?" Izzy gave her a strange look.

"Step in front of the mirror and tell me you don't see what I see," the Queen pointed at a mirror in front of the judge's podium.

Izzy slowly stepped toward the mirror. "What the? That doesn't make any sense," Izzy shook his head. Izzy's reflection was dressed just like the White Rabbit but Izzy he was still in his normal attire.

"It doesn't make any sense to you?" the Queen said. "It's obvious! You are the real White Rabbit!"

"Huh?!"

"Running away isn't going to make your problems go away. You ran your whole life, and look where it's got you," the Queen smirked. "I think it's best that we just put you out of your misery and chop your head off. Guards?"

"On it," the guards pulled out their tools.

"No! Stop!" Izzy yelled.

"Halt!" the Queen said to the guards. "No? What do you mean by 'no'?"

"I mean no, don't behead me," Izzy said.

"Why not? What's the point of keeping your life when you haven't even lived it? Would it really make a difference if I took your life away? I'm curious to see what you have to say," the Queen raised an eyebrow at Izzy.

"It'll make a difference to me," Izzy said.

"And why is that?" the Queen smirked.

"Uh...because people depend on me. It's my responsibility," Izzy said.

"And what else?" the Queen said.

"I also...," Izzy paused. "I study."

"So you babysit and study? Well someone alert the Baby-Sitters Club! We've got a boy who's interested in a position!" the Queen scoffed. "Is there anything else you do? Do you ever do anything you enjoy?"

"I...Besides playing with computers, no," Izzy said.

"Pitiful! Behead him!" the Queen yelled.

"STOP!"

"What?" "Who said that?" "Where did it come from?" the audience gasped.

"STOP!" the King got up from his throne and threw his mask on the floor. "Son, it's me."

"Uh...?" Izzy stared at the king.

"Izzy, I'm your dad," the King said.

"Dad?" Izzy squinted. The King had black spiky hair and narrow blue eyes. "So that must make you my mom?"

"Yes," the Queen gently took off her mask. She had long, wavy red hair and big, black eyes.

"And you want to kill me? I can't believe you," Izzy pressed his lips together.

"Okay, so maybe your mother went at it the wrong way," the King held the Queen's hand. "But she's right. What's the point of life if you don't allow yourself to have fun once in a while. You're running around trying to do everything at once, but you never take the time to just blow off some steam. Even when you hang out with your friends, you always manage to make it into work."

"While we're proud of your work ethics, we just wish you could loosen up a bit. Take it from us, life is short. You never know when it'll end. We never expected to go so soon, but at least we can say we've had our share of happy times. We might not actually be here anymore, but that doesn't stop us from wanting the best for you," the Queen said. "Do you understand?"

"Your parents don't want you to be miserable, and neither do we. Stop punishing yourself and just have some fun," the King said.

"Yeah, but what about my schoolwork? The Host Club?" Izzy asked.

"Nothing wrong with that, but don't be afraid to ask your friends for help when you need it. You can't do everything on your own. Sometimes you need to depend on others too, whether you like it or not. I know you well enough that you don't like asking for help, but sometimes it's what you need to do," the Queen said.

"Yeah...," Izzy said.

"Just promise us something," the King said.

"What is it?" Izzy asked.

"Momentai," the Queen smiled.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Izzy asked.

"We'll tell you when you're older," the Queen winked.

"I never thought I'd see the day where I'd actually meet you, Mom and Dad," Izzy said.

"Come here," the Queen outstretched her arms. Izzy walked over to them, but as they were about to hug, the King and Queen vanished into thin air. The colors in the courtroom drained out into a mucky puddle at Izzy's feet.

"What are you going to do now?" the Mad Hatter tapped Izzy on the shoulder.

"Besides change that outfit?" the Duchess wriggled her nose in disgust.

"Did you learn anything while you were here?" Henry asked.

"Yeah. I have to have a little more fun in my life," Izzy said.

"That's all you learned? Come on, Izzy! Aren't there any more life lessons you've picked up in Wonderland?" Dorah said, exasperated.

"Not that I know of...," Izzy said.

"Just remember not to join a chain gang," TK and Davis said, tangled up in each other's chains.

"And not to eat the shrooms," Kira said.

"And not to babysit crack babies," Kouichi and Koji said.

"And whatever you do, don't show up to an unbirthday empty-handed!" Takato beamed.

"Oh yes. How could I forget about that?" Izzy said in a deadpan tone.

"I think it's time for you to go home," Keenan said. "You know what to do."

"Yes," Izzy closed his eyes and bumped the heels of his ruby red shoes together. "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like..."

* * *

_*RIIIIIING*_

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" Mimi shook Izzy awake.

"What?" Izzy yawned and stretched his arms up.

"You should have seen what Carter did! I can't believe you slept through it, especially since he was super loud!" Mimi squealed.

"Oh really?" Izzy threw his satchel on his shoulder.

"Yeah, it'll probably be on YouTube by tonight. You have to see it, it wouldn't be as funny if I told you," Mimi linked her arm around Izzy's.

"Alright. I'll check it when I get home," Izzy said. "Hey Meems?"

"Yeah?" Mimi looked up at him.

"Do you know what Momentai means?" Izzy asked.

"Is that even a word? You're so over-exhausted, I think you're starting to make up words now. You really need to take it easy," Mimi giggled.

"I guess I do," Izzy shrugged as they headed off to Science Lab #3.


	14. Covering The Famous Host Club!

**Covering the Famous Host Club!**

"Next week's edition is going to be the last paper of the first semester. It's no secret that our club isn't doing that well, and if we don't turn it around soon, Principal Sampson's going to shut us down. Frankly, I don't care if the club goes under, because I already fulfilled my extracurricular credits. The only reason I decided to supervise this club was to help you out, but I can only do so much. It's all up to you whether the club stays alive or not. Keep in mind that this is the only chance that you'll have to earn your requirements, considering that you've been rejected from every other club in the school," Ken sat at a big, leather office chair.

"But that's not fair! We're trying our best!" JP pleaded.

"It's not our fault nobody wants to listen to us," Ivan glumly said.

"Yeah! Give us a break!" Takuya whined.

"That stupid host club doesn't do anything either, and nobody picks on them! What the hell? It's not like we're twiddling our thumbs all day, so why is Sampson picking on us?!" Kouki slammed his fist on a tabletop.

"Calm yourself," Ken sharply said. "We must have sold some papers."

"Yeah, four! I bought a copy, did you?" Takuya said.

"Yep," JP nodded.

"Yeah," Kouki rolled his eyes.

"Of course! That newspaper makes for some great kitty litter. Yoshi-chan's still not trained yet," Kouki said.

"Don't look at me. The newspaper's a waste of money," Ken said.

"Gee, thanks...," JP frowned.

"Great! So nobody outside of the newspaper club actually bought an issue? For crying out loud, our own president didn't even buy a copy!" Kouki growled.

"What? I have a restricted allowance, so I don't want to blow it on something crappy, when I can get something like...this!" Ken pulled out a yoyo and started to play with it. "Here's the cat's cradle..."

"Cool, it lights up!" Ivan said in awe.

"So pretty...," JP oohed.

"Legen-wait for it...dary!" Takuya said.

"Hullo?! What about the pressing matters?!" Kouki slammed his hands on Ken's desk.

"The Newspaper Club has been around for about 43 years," Ken gently put his yoyo down. "Back then, everyone read the school newspaper, but now, readership has hit an all-time low in the last five years. With all of this technology, especially the social networks, nobody's interested in getting their current events in a crummy school newspaper when they can just read it on their friend's message board," Ken said.

"Yes, just keep telling us how this newspaper club's headed straight to hell!" Kouki growled.

"This club isn't going to survive with a bitter attitude like yours. Instead of criticizing me for pointing out the harsh realities, why don't you come up with an idea that could save this pathetic coverup of a club?" Ken said.

"We're not a coverup of a club," Takuya pouted.

"Then what are we? What does an ex-juvie, a friendless loser, a fat new kid from a private school, and a guy like me have in common?" Ivan sighed.

"That we're all pathetic?" JP guessed.

"Hey, I don't care if you call yourselves pathetic, but leave me out of this!" Kouki growled.

"I just got a great idea!" Takuya beamed.

"What is it?" Ivan asked.

"How about we write a cover story on the Odaiba Host Club? That way, we can find out what those guys do without looking nosy!" Takuya said.

"Why do you even care about what that stupid host club does?" Kouki made a face.

"Well, they are the newest club in the school," Ivan said.

"If they're anything like the host club at my old school, they must also super popular. I bet everyone loves them," JP said.

"Pfft," Kouki rolled his eyes.

"Think about it. If we put that host club on the cover of our next issue, just imagine how many people would buy it!" Takuya said.

"I knew you guys weren't as stupid as everyone said you were," Ken smiled.

"Uh...thanks?" Takuya rubbed the back of his head.

"Who called us stupid?!" Kouki yelled.

* * *

"Mimi, you did it again!" Tai said.

"Yeah! What better way to kick off the holiday season than to sell calendars for charity?" Sora said.

"I must admit, collaborating with the photography club is a pretty cost-efficient method to raise as much money as possible without worrying about the expenses. By splitting the costs halfway, now both clubs are able to donate to their preferred charity," Izzy nodded.

"Not only that, it gives Mimi a chance to cosplay...," Sora raised an eyebrow.

"Alright! December's our group shot! Everyone, hurry over in front of the camera!" Kari said.

"Coming!" Tai sang. All of the host club members and Zoe dashed over in front of the camera. Kari pressed the timer button and posed along with everyone else.

"Ten...nine...eight...," Kari said through her teeth.

_*knock knock*_

"Sorry, but host club's closed for the week!" Tai yelled.

_*knock knock knock*_

"We're closed!" Tai barked.

_*knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock*_

"Seriously?" Tai scrunched up his face.

"Just get the door," Izzy sighed.

_*FLASH*_

"Aww man! You guys moved!" Kari ran over to the camera. "See? It came out terrible!"

"Ew, ew, ew! Delete it, delete it, delete it!" Mimi shrieked.

"What can we do you for?" Tai leaned against the doorway.

"Hi," Ivan bashfully waved.

"We're the newspaper club," JP said.

"We have a school newspaper?" Takato asked.

"Yeah, but no one ever reads it. It's full of boring stuff like interviews with the lunch lady and that ongoing story about the dirty sock that's been on the boy's locker room floor since last spring," Davis shrugged.

"If that sock's been lying on the floor for the past several months, then why doesn't someone just pick the damn thing up?" Rika snottily said.

"We're just waiting for the day where the rightful owner reunites with the lost sock! We like to call it _A Cinderella Story: Locker Room Romance_," Takuya dramatically said.

"That doesn't sound right...," Kouichi frowned.

"We have full, extensive coverage on the sock story too," JP said.

"That's because there's nothing else to write about...but I wouldn't say that out loud," Ivan mumbled.

"Look, our club is in danger! If we don't make any progress, Principal Sampson's going to pull the plug on us," Takuya said.

"So what do you want us to do about it?" Rika scoffed.

"Oooh, feisty one there...," Takuya raised an eyebrow.

"We were wondering if you guys would like to be our cover story," Ivan clasped his hands together.

"I'm down with that. What do you guys think?" Tai turned to his club mates.

"I don't care," Koji scoffed.

"Ditto," Rika said.

"Didn't see that one coming," Kouichi sarcastically mumbled.

"Sounds cool, I guess...," Takato shrugged.

"Oooh! Let's do it!" Mimi squealed.

"We're gonna be famous!" Davis and TK yelled in unison.

"I like it. What do you think, Izzy?" Sora asked.

"I don't see the harm in it," Izzy shrugged.

"So...?" Takuya flashed an eager smile.

"Yes. You guys can publish an article about us. How about we start the interview tomorrow?" Izzy said.

"You, sir, are a beautiful person!" Ivan picked Izzy up and gave him a bear hug.

"Gah! Can you please put me down?" Izzy said.

"He's a bit scared of heights. He's not used to high altitudes, since...ya know, he's short and all," Tai smirked.

"Shut up!" Izzy growled.

* * *

"We scored the interview!" Takuya jumped into the classroom.

"Congratulations," Ken smiled.

"Yeah, congrats...," Kouki rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Kouki! Show a little more enthusiasm!" Takuya nudged Kouki in the rib.

"How's this for enthusiasm?!" Kouki shoved Takuya to the floor.

"What's your problem, Kouki?" JP asked as he helped Takuya up from the ground.

"I'll tell you what my problem is! How is it fair that that club does nothing but eat pizza and chat with people, and they don't have any threats of getting shut down? How is that fair?" Kouki yelled.

"In their defense, they have a lot of fundraisers, so it's not like they're sitting on their asses all day," Ken said.

"You're only saying that because you're friends with those derps! If those kids weren't popular and good-looking, they'd be facing the same fate as us!" Kouki cracked his knuckles.

"But not all of them attractive. Isn't that nerdy kid the president of the club?" Ivan scratched his head.

"Yeah, he's just a computer club reject," Takuya shrugged.

"Oh yeah? Then what about the other members, eh? There's the captain of the varsity soccer team, there's that hot broad who plays tennis and volleyball, there's that blond douchelord wannabe rockstar-what is it, Takuya?" Kouki said in an irritated tone.

"I don't mean to be a nitpicker, but I just thought to let you know Matt Ishida isn't a host," Takuya corrected.

"_SERIOUSLY?! These guys are relentless!_" Matt yelled from out of the hallway.

"Hold up, let me close the door. There's too much noise in the hallway," Ken slammed the door shut.

"At least we know his derpy, blond brother's in the club, and so is his heterosexual life partner, mini-Tai, then there's that hot new chick from America, some random twin frosh, and a couple of middle schoolers, one of them not even from this school! That stupid club is just an excuse for those bastards to socialize and get credits for it!"

"Even if what you said was true-," Ken said.

"It is true," Kouki interrupted.

"Well, then. Even if we listed the facts, this host club is our only resort to attracting more readers," Ken stated.

"No! There's got to be another way! The last thing I want to do is crawl over and beg those guys for help! You might as well cut my balls off!" Kouki yelled.

"Then what do you propose we do?" Ken pulled out a lunchbox and opened it up.

"Uh...I don't know, but there's gotta be something! There just has to be," Kouki said.

"In the meantime, I suggest you interview those guys. Our deadline's approaching quickly, and I highly doubt you'll come up with a different idea by then," Ken casually spread goat cheese on a cracker.

"Hey! That's my food," JP whined.

"Finders keepers," Ken munched on a cracker.

"But-ugh-grrr!" Kouki tugged at his hair.

"Here. You might want this," Ken handed Kouki a plastic knife. "Get to cutting."

* * *

"Alright, the newspaper club will be here any minute now, so I want you all to be on your best behavior," Izzy said.

"But that's boring!" Davis whined.

"He's got a point," Kouki leaned against the doorway.

"Oh, hi there. We weren't expecting you until at least another five minutes," Izzy let out a nervous chuckle.

"Momentai...," Tai whispered into Izzy's ear.

"What does that even mean?" Izzy grunted.

"I don't know but I hear the half-Chinese kid say it a lot," Tai rubbed Izzy's shoulders.

"Don't you mean Henry?" Takato asked.

"Yeah, that kid!" Tai said.

"That kid's name is Henry, so you can stop referring to him as the half-Chinese kid," Rika snarled.

"Got it! Henry, Henry, Henry...," Tai massaged his temples and paced around the room.

"What a doof," Rika shook her head.

"Uh...would you guys like to come in?" Izzy forced a smile.

"That'll be five dollars please!" Mimi sprung in front of the doorway.

"That's not necessary," Izzy gently moved Mimi to the side. "Wanna take a look around?"

"Hell yeah!" Takuya said.

"I'm so excited," Ivan rubbed his hands together.

"Is there going to be any food?" JP said.

"Yeah, we make sure to have some light snacks around. After all, we do want to make the guests feel like home," Izzy said.

"So does that mean I can take my shoes off?" Takuya asked.

"I guess, if you want to. Nobody's ever asked that question before," Izzy shrugged.

"Sweet!" Takuya took off his shoes. He tied the laces together and hung the shoes on his neck.

"So, for starters...what does a host club do?" JP asked.

"I can take care of this," Tai rested his arm on Takuya's shoulder. "As a host club, our mission statement is to promote school unity by spreading love and friendship to everyone!"

"Interesting...," Kouki tapped his chin.

"So what's with the girl by the door?" JP stared at Mimi with googly eyes.

"She..._*snap*_ hey buddy, over here," Tai snapped his fingers in JP's face. "She's like our ticket ripper. Here's how it works: the clients pay an entry fee, then Mimi collects the money. From there, Mimi pulls out a binder...," Tai walked behind Mimi and took the binder from her hands.

"Hey!" Mimi crossed her arms.

"Relax, I'll give it back soon. I'm just showing the boys something," Tai said. "Would you guys like to take a peek?"

"Why not?" Kouki said. He placed the binder down on a tabletop and began flipping through the pages. "What is this?"

"Oh, those are some profile pages I've compiled of our various hosts! Not only does it give people an opportunity to get to know our staff, it also makes it easier for the clients to choose who they want to hang out with," Tai explained.

"Is she in the book?" JP pointed at Mimi.

"No. She's the unofficial club manager. Only the hosts are listed in the binder," Tai said.

"I like her. I think she's hot-but I wouldn't say that out loud," Ivan pointed at Sora's profile page.

"You just did...," Takuya said.

"It's okay! I think she's hot too!" Tai blurted.

"Oh really?" Kouki looked amused.

"Yeah! I mean, wouldn't you agree that Sora's an attractive person? She's not the ugliest person in the world-I'm not saying she's ugly, because she's not! I don't know what you're thinking, but I don't like her in that way, you know? I mean, I do like her, but we're just friends! Eh, I'm not saying that we couldn't be more than friends, because we totally could, but-" Tai flustered.

"Hmm...," Takuya tried to stifle his laughter.

"Izzy, help!" Tai reached over behind a table and pulled on Izzy's blazer.

"Sorry. Can you excuse me for a bit?" Izzy said to a girl.

"Okay," the girl smiled.

"Tai, what?" Izzy sighed.

"Can you distract these guys for a little bit? I kinda acted like an idiot so you need to fix this," Tai whispered.

"Do I look like a handyman to you?" Izzy put his hands on his hips.

"Not really, but one quick trip to the costume shop will take care of that," Tai said.

"Just go...," Izzy shooed Tai away.

"Izzy, how did you come up with the idea of a host club?" JP asked.

"Actually, it was all Tai's idea," Izzy said.

"Really?" Kouki said.

"But aren't you president of the club?" Takuya asked.

"Yeah, but-"

"Is it true that you were rejected from the computer club?" Ivan interrupted.

"No, that is not true!" Izzy gasped.

"Then why aren't you in the computer club? Don't you like computers?" JP asked.

"I do, but I decided to quit the computer club. I didn't feel that the computer club was fulfilling anymore, and Tai offered me the president position for the host club, so I took a chance. I'm actually proud of how successful our club is, and to think that somehow I had an impact on our success. Actually, each host member plays an important role in the club," Izzy said.

"That's nice," Kouki said curtly.

"If you guys want, feel free to go around and talk to the other club members. I'm pretty sure they'd like to say something too," Izzy said.

"I think JP's way ahead of you there...," Takuya said through the side of his mouth.

"So, can I get your number?" JP clasped his hands together.

"Um, no. My cell phone only works in America, so I can't use it here. Sorry," Mimi pouted.

"Bummer," JP walked away.

"Mimi, I'm pretty sure you can still use your phone here even though you bought it in America," Sora whispered.

"Yeah, I know. I just didn't want to give that kid my number. He's a freshman dweeb," Mimi wriggled her nose.

"That's nice," Sora sighed.

"Whoa! I didn't know you guys were in the host club!" Takuya gasped.

"Yep," Kouichi said.

"Don't remind me...," Koji pressed his lips together.

"You," Kouki approached Koji. "What made you join the host club?"

"Tai," Koji said.

"Tai made you join the host club?" Ivan scratched his head.

"Yeah. Me and my brother were just waiting for Alchemy class to end, when this bigheaded porcupine blur dashed into our classroom and kidnapped us," Koji said.

"Come on! You're just being a drama queen," Kouichi shook his head.

"Oh really? So how did it happen?" Kouki stared at Kouichi.

"Well...we were in Alchemy, and Tai did burst into the classroom, but he didn't kidnap us. He just...picked us up and brought us here. He's a pretty strong guy. Now that I think about it...he did sorta kidnap us," Kouichi rubbed his chin.

"Interesting," Kouki nodded.

"So what's up with you, middle schoolers?" Ivan goofily grinned.

"What's there to know about us?" Rika snarled.

"Aren't you that kid whose parents run the bakery?" JP asked Takato.

"Yeah, that's me," Takato shyly smiled.

"Just wondering because I go to your bakery all the time," JP said.

"Sure looks like it," Rika muttered.

"You can tell? I guess you can smell the Guilmon bread on me. It's my favorite thing there," JP sniffed his uniform.

"Yes. It's the smell that gives it away," Rika rolled her eyes.

"I think she was trying to call you fat," Ivan said.

"I'm not fat. I'm just tall...and cute...and cuddly," JP pouted.

"You're tall, but I don't know about the rest," Rika said.

"Hah hah, she's funny!" Takuya laughed.

"I think that's enough," Takato sighed. "Come on, Rika. I think there are a couple of people waiting to play another round of cards."

"Cards?" Kouki asked.

"Yeah. Today's game is Digimon cards," Takato replied.

"Digimon cards? Aren't those for nerds?" Takuya stuck out his tongue.

"No. At least you should see Rika play. She kicks everyone's butts," Takato said.

"Awww man!" a group of boys whined in unison.

"Come to mama...," Rika slid stacks of poker chips close to her.

"Oh my gosh!" a crowd of girls squealed in the corner.

"Let's see what's going on there," Kouki droned.

"I'm soooo in love!" one girl raved.

"Take it off! Take it off!" Yolei chanted.

"What the hell is going on?" Kouki tried to squeeze in between the girls to see what they were screaming about.

"As long as I'm with you, it's like we're in our own little world," TK breathily sighed.

"I couldn't have said it better myself," Davis stroked TK's cheek.

"Ahhh! So hot!" the girls gushed.

"What is wrong with the girls at this school?" Kouki muttered.

"I wish I knew," Sora said.

"You heard that, huh?" Kouki pressed his lips together.

"Trust me, I feel the same way. If it weren't for the host club, I wouldn't have met any normal girls," Sora said.

"Really? You call that normal?" Ivan pointed at Mimi.

"Five dollars, please!" Mimi yelled.

"Put it on my tab!" Matt said.

"You don't have a tab! What do you think this is?" Mimi stomped her foot.

"Someone help!" Matt screamed.

"No! No mercy!" Mimi jumped on Matt's back.

"Okay, maybe that's not normal...but I've been friends with Mimi for a long time, so I got used to her," Sora said.

"Stop! Please! I'm begging you!" Matt yelled.

"Hate to cut it short, but I should go before it gets worse," Sora nudged through the newspaper boys and dashed toward the door.

"I think we're done here anyways," Kouki rolled up his sleeves.

"Are you sure, boss?" Takuya asked.

"We've got everything we need," Kouki said.

"If you say so...," JP had an uncertain look on his face.

"You're going down, Kamiya. You're going down...," Kouki said through his teeth.

* * *

_*knock knock*_

"We're not open yet!" Mimi shouted.

_"It's the Newspaper Club!"_

"Let them in," Tai said.

"Okay! Hi guys!" Mimi opened the door.

"Hey! We just wanted to bring you guys a copy of our next issue before it officially goes out," Takuya handed Tai a newspaper.

"You'll even get to see it before Principal Sampson," JP added.

"And he's the first one to read the paper. None of our issues go out without being read by him first," Ivan said.

"Thanks! Everyone look! It's our article!" Tai called the host club over.

"Sweet!" Davis grinned.

"Thanks for bringing it over," Sora said.

"I can't read it! I'm too excited!" Tai's hands began to tremble. "Someone, read it for me!"

"I don't have time for this. Give it," Koji huffed.

"Eeeee!" Tai squealed.

"_One of the newest clubs in the school, the Odaiba High School Host Club, is also a club rapidly growing in popularity. How did a club like this become the big hit it is now? The Newspaper Club was fortunate enough to get an inside look at one of the most infamous organizations in the school. As soon as you step in front of the doorway, you are immediately transported into a world of pure debauchery. From racist slurs against the half-Chinese, to underground gambling, erotic exhibitionists, reverse harems, and the typical harems, this host club is packed with more chaos than Shibuya on a typical Saturday night._"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Koji, stop making things up and read what's actually there!" Tai said.

"But I'm not making things up...this time. _Although the Odaiba Host Club is evidently the brainchild of one of the most beloved students in the school, Tai Kamiya-_"

"I guess you don't have to be in the host club to assume that," Sora flatly said.

"_He has passed on the responsibilities of president to an unjustifiably conceited Izzy Izumi, who was excommunicated from the Computer Club for his pompous attitude-_"

"You might not like me, but that doesn't mean you can be a smartass," Izzy snatched the paper from Koji and rolled it.

"I'm not being a smartass...this time. I swear on Kouichi!" Koji said.

"Gee, thanks...," Kouichi said.

"There's no way you guys could have published that!" TK said.

"I thought you guys liked us!" Davis frowned.

"We do like you!" Ivan said.

"Then why did you write mean things about us?" Tai crossed his arms.

"We didn't know! Honest to god!" JP said.

"We don't write the articles, Kouki does," Ivan said.

"Then what do you guys do?" Sora raised an eyebrow.

"I print the papers," Takuya put his hand on his chest. "JP sorts the pages, and Ivan folds the papers."

"So you guys never look at what you're printing?" Izzy asked in concern.

"Nope. We just assume everything's fine," Ivan said.

"Idiots. They make the host club look like Einsteins," Rika muttered.

"We can't have this going around the school! Our reputation's gonna be wrecked!" Tai gasped for air.

"You're worried about what the student population thinks?! We should be more concerned of what would happen if Principal Sampson takes a look at this!" Izzy hit Tai with the rolled up newspaper.

"He's right," Sora bit her thumb.

"Principal Sampson said that if he heard even one complaint about us, he's gonna shut us down!" Izzy yelled.

"We can't shut down! Then how are we gonna get our credits?" Davis whimpered.

"How about you join the newspaper club?" Takuya stupidly suggested.

"You idiot!" Koji lunged toward Takuya.

"Gahhhh!" Takuya fell backward.

"How do you expect all of us to join the newspaper club when you guys are gonna be closed down too?! It's going to be all your fault if I don't get accepted for the kendo retreat!" Koji thrashed Takuya's head to the ground.

_*bash bash bash bash*_

"Get off of him!" Kouichi tried to pull Koji away.

"Uhhhuhhihuuhuhhh...," Takuya grunted.

"Let go of him!" Tai struggled to hold Koji still.

"Get lost, dummkopf!" Koji elbowed Tai in the nose.

"Ohhhh!" Tai gasped in pain.

"Please don't kill him! I can't bear to look at this anymore!" Mimi cried.

_*bonk bonk bonk*_

"Stop it! This is exactly why all of the other clubs didn't want you!" Kouichi wrapped his arms around Koji's waist, as to pry him off of Takuya.

"I don't care! Thanks to this idiot here, it doesn't matter!" Koji growled.

"Bakallahbhhuw...," Takuya moaned.

"You crazy kid!" Ivan flicked Koji's head back.

"You wanna start something, you small head?!" Koji shook his fist at Ivan.

"I don't have a small head! My muscles just look super big compared to my head!" Ivan frowned.

"MOMENTAI!"

"Takato?" everyone paused.

"Moh...men...tai...," Takato slowly said. "Now repeat after me. Moh...men...tai!"

"What the hell? Do you really expect everyone to stop fighting because you're going mental?" Rika grimaced.

"It's working, isn't it?" Takato shrugged.

"Holy shit, how did you do that?" Davis gaped.

"It's like a magic word. Henry taught me," Takato said.

"Wow. Those half-Chinese are really ahead of the curve," Tai remarked.

"Next time my parents yell at me when I get a bad report card, I'm totally saying that word!" Davis said. "Me-moh-tai?"

"Moh-men-tai," Takato corrected.

"Tee-men-moh?" JP cocked his head to the side.

"Moh...men...tai," Takato drawled.

"Moh...men...tai," everyone, minus Rika, said in unison.

"For some reason, that word makes me feel...not angry," Koji relaxed his shoulders. "Sorry I cracked your head all over the floor, Takuya."

"Moh...men...tai...," Takuya barely moved his mouth.

"Now what are we gonna do? Principal Sampson's gonna read that paper any time soon!" Tai went back to panicking.

"Uh...it's not like we can sneak into his office and take the paper before he reads it," Ivan tapped his chin.

"You're a genius! Why don't we sneak into Sampson's office?" Tai snapped his fingers.

"How are we going to do that? I don't want to get in trouble," Sora said.

"We've got a plan. Okay, so here's how it's gonna go," Davis pulled out a large piece of paper. "I know for a fact that Sampson goes for a donut run as soon as the dismissal bell rings, and he doesn't return until fifteen minutes later."

"Of course you would know that," Rika rolled her eyes.

"While he's gone, Mimi and Sora will stop by Sampson's office to return something of his. As they're off distracting the secretary, me and TK will sneak into Sampson's office and search for the paper," Davis said.

"In the meantime, we have to destroy the evidence. Since we don't have a large shredder at the school, we're going to have to hide the rest of the copies somewhere. I was going to suggest Rika's school for the time being, but I doubt we'll have enough time to bring all of the papers there, so our only other option is Takato's locker," TK said.

"Why is my locker always the dumping ground for your illegal objects?" Takato said.

"Because you're a middle schooler and no one would suspect anything being in a middle schooler's locker," Davis said.

"Wrong," Izzy did a thumbs-down.

"Wrong?" everyone gasped.

"Wrong. That reason alone might give the authorities a reason to inspect Takato's locker. After a while, they'll catch on and search the least expected place first," Izzy said.

"Good point...but the only other place I can think of is Matt's van, and I don't have the keys to it," TK rubbed his chin.

"I can take care of that," Rika said.

"Awesome. So we'll dump all of the papers there, and then we can drive to the recycling plant and drop them off there," Davis said. "You do know how to hotwire a car, right Rika?"

"I won't deny or confirm it," Rika smirked.

"Now that we have that figured out, that gives us...," Davis glanced at his phone. "Five minutes?!"

"How are we supposed to get all of this stuff done by then?" Sora yelled.

"Takato, I need you to stand by the south wing entrance and keep an eye out for Sampson. When he gets through the door, run into him and throw yourself down on the floor. That should buy us some more time! Are we ready?" Davis asked.

"No. What are we supposed to 'return' to the principal?" Sora asked.

"Oh, I got something...," Davis rummaged through his bag. "Bingo!"

* * *

_At the Newspaper Club HQ!_

"How many of these did you put out in circulation?" Izzy's jaw dropped at the stacks of paper in the room.

"I think 4500...," Ivan said.

"What?! There's only 2700 students in the school," Izzy shook.

"We only did it just in case people wanted to buy more than one copy. It's total logic," Takuya said.

"If you think so. I didn't want to buy even one copy," JP said.

"Okay, we need to get these things out of here fast!" Tai frantically flapped his hands.

"Then let's start carrying," Izzy took off his blazer jacket and lifted up a huge stack of newspapers. "Now where did Matt park his van?"

"Parking Lot 2," Tai said.

"Okey dokie!" Ivan effortlessly picked up a pile of papers.

"Gah...how can you guys lift these? I can barely carry five!" Tai staggered out of the class, with only a couple of newspapers in his arms.

"These things are heavy," Takuya grunted.

"They sure are," JP began to quiver.

"Seriously? You're only carrying one newspaper," Koji scornfully said, with Kouichi silently following him. The boys walked out into the parking lot and made their way toward Rika.

"How's it going?" Tai called out.

"Just give me a second," Rika pulled a bobby pin out of the keyhole and lightly punched the door three times.

_*creeeek*_ the car door sprung open.

"How did you do that?" Tai gasped.

"A magician never reveals her secrets," Rika nonchalantly said.

"Okay, come on guys! Let's get the rest of the papers in," Izzy said.

"Coming...," Ivan dashed into the school building and came out with stacks and stacks of newspapers.

"And here's the last of 'em!" JP dropped one copy down to the floor.

"Now let's get these out of here! Rika, hotwire this car!" Tai commanded.

"What do you take me for? A criminal?" Rika sounded offended.

"Well, yeah. You know how to pick locks...," Tai nervously smiled.

"Oh, so now everyone who picks locks is automatically a criminal?" Rika put her hands on her hips.

"Uh...," Tai blinked.

"Man, you're too easy to scare. Everyone, hop in," Rika shook her head. She took a couple more bobby pins out of her hair and twisted them together. She climbed into the driver's seat, clipped the seatbelt on, and shoved the bobby pins into the ignition.

"Wow, now that's some serious skill," Kouichi said in awe as the car started.

"Criminal," Koji smirked.

"Just for that...," Rika took off her seatbelt and lunged toward Koji.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"What do you know? It's Kouki," Davis said.

"Where are you off to, Kouki?" TK raised an eyebrow.

"Nowhere that's any of your business," Kouki snorted.

"Oh, okay. We don't want to hold you up," Davis slid in front of Kouki.

"That would be bad...," TK also stood in front of Kouki.

"Then get out of my way!" Kouki growled.

"We'll let you go in a sec," TK said.

"We just want to know something first," Davis hummed.

"Why did you write lies about us?" TK asked.

"I didn't write any lies," Kouki crossed his arms.

"Yes you did," Davis pressed his lips together.

"Prove it," Kouki smugly said.

"You said we were racist against the half-Chinese," TK said.

"No I didn't. I said you guys threw racist slurs against the half-Chinese. Slightly different," Kouki said.

"But we never did that!" TK exclaimed.

"Yes you did. I have proof," Kouki pulled a tiny recording device out of his jacket pocket.

_*click* "What does that even mean? *static* I don't know but I hear the half-Chinese kid say it a lot." _the recording played.

"That's not a racist slur!" Davis yelled.

"You're just twisting our words around!" TK gasped.

"Who cares? All that matters is that justice will be served. I'm going to show everyone how Kamiya uses his popularity to corrupt the student body, and then no one will want to go to your little host club anymore. Kamiya's club will be shut down, and the Newspaper Club will hold on a little while longer."

"Why are you out to get Tai?" Davis sadfully looked at Kouki.

"That smug bastard thinks he can do whatever he wants just because he's popular. Someone's gotta stop it, and that someone's going to be me!" Kouki jerked his thumb to his chest.

"But Tai didn't do anything bad. He doesn't mean to hurt anyone. If you really got to know him better, you would know that he had a heart of gold," TK said.

"Yeah. He was trying to help your club out. He could have always said no," Davis said.

"And to thank him for that, you decide to stab him in the back? If you ask me, you're the corrupt one," TK said.

"Get lost. I have some papers to deliver," Kouki shoved TK and Davis out of the way and walked down the hallway.

"Didja get it?" TK asked.

"Sure did," Davis bumped fists with TK.

* * *

_In Parking Lot 2..._

"_Bam shika bam shika boom boom boom_-" Matt twirled his keys on his finger. He confidently strolled into Parking Lot 2, beatboxing on the way. As he got closer, he could have sworn he saw Koji fall out of the van. "What the...? I've got to be seeing things!" Matt squinted and picked up his pace.

_*SCREEEEECH*_ Matt's van sped out of the parking lot.

"What the hell?!" Matt yelled.

"She took your van," Koji sat up in the cement.

"By she, you mean Rika, don't you?" Matt groaned.

"Yeah," Koji rubbed his shoulder. "I think I dislocated my arm."

"Dammit Tai!" Matt tugged at his hair.

"Why are you mad at Tai? Rika's the one who's driving your van...," Koji said.

"Because he's behind it! He's always behind the causes of my misery!" Matt growled.

"Get over yourself," Koji huffed.

* * *

_At Principal Sampson's Office..._

"Hi! Is Principal Sampson here?" Mimi sweetly asked the secretary.

"No. He just stepped out a couple of minutes ago, but he should be back soon. Do you guys want to wait?" a pretty woman with straight, burgundy hair asked.

"No, that's alright...," Sora looked at the corner of her eye. TK and Davis lurked by the hallway, signaling the girls to be quiet.

"Is something wrong?" the secretary asked.

"No...uh, anyways we just came by to return this to Principal Sampson!" Sora suddenly shoved a badly-made, clay coffee cup into the table.

"_#1 Mom_?" the secretary quizzically read the mug.

"Hah hah, yeah! Isn't it funny? Uh...," Sora nervously laughed. The boys were crawling past the secretary's desk.

"Oh my gosh! You have a lovely hair color!" Mimi gushed to the secretary.

"You think? It's natural. I was thinking of dyeing it," the secretary picked up a piece of her hair.

"Oh my gosh, don't do that! If you dye your hair, you can't change it back to your original color!" Mimi gasped.

"But didn't you dye your hair a bunch of colors?" Sora asked.

"Well, yeah! But my hair turned this icky mousy brown! Now I have to use a red glaze to make my hair look somewhat richer!" Mimi said.

"Really?" the secretary asked.

"Yeah, it's totally tragic! With a natural hair color like yours, I wouldn't change it," Mimi shook her head. TK peeked out of the principal's office and flashed the girls a thumbs up. Davis stood behind him, holding a newspaper in his hand.

"You girls are so sweet. I guess I'm not going to color my hair after all. I should cancel my appointment," the secretary pulled out her cell phone.

"We should get going anyways," Sora pulled Mimi by the wrist.

"Have a nice day!" Mimi waved to the secretary.

"You too, girls," the secretary waved back.

"Awesome work there!" Davis approached the girls in the hallway.

"Mimi, that was pretty clever," TK chuckled.

"What? That lopsided coffee cup?" Mimi cluelessly asked.

"What was up with that mug?" Sora raised an eyebrow.

"My mom forced me to join a pottery class, so I made a crappy cup and gave it to her for Mother's Day. The next day, my mom said that she'd let me quit the class if I promised to stop making things for her," Davis grinned.

"Your mom sounds like a nice lady," Sora frowned.

* * *

_At the South Wing Entrance..._

"Here goes nothing...," Takato sucked in his breath and peeked out of the glass doors.

_*click*_ the doors opened and Principal Sampson stepped inside.

"Whoaaaaa!" Takato purposely tripped on his feet and crashed into him, causing Sampson to drop his coffee and box of donuts to the floor.

"Watch it, son!" Principal Sampson said.

"Sorry...," Takato turned red.

"..." Principal Sampson stared at Takato.

"Uh...I'm sorry! A bee was chasing me-did I mention, I'm sorry?" Takato babbled.

"That's odd. It's a bit too cold for bees to out," Principal Sampson looked through the glass doors.

"I'm really sorry about your donuts...," Takato winced at the mess on the floor. "If you want, you can always stop by my family's bakery! I'll get you a dozen Guilmon breads on the house! I'm sorry!"

"Don't worry about it, son. Just be more careful next time," Principal Sampson said, as he walked over the donuts and down the hallway.

"Oh boy, that was scary," Takato exhaled.

* * *

_The next week..._

"If it weren't for you guys, our club would be done for!" Takuya said.

"Since we didn't have enough paper supply, Principal Sampson decided to give us another chance," Ivan said.

"Aww, I'm glad we could help," Tai gushed.

"And we came up with a couple of new ideas over the weekend! We were thinking of setting up a profile page on the internet for the school news. That way, people can post their opinions and comments on our headline stories," JP said.

"Nice, an interactive, digital version of the school paper," Izzy nodded in approval.

"And to make some money, we could also put out personal ads! It's the perfect way to promote your business, your band, basically anything!" Takuya excitedly said.

"That sounds awesome," Takato said.

"We're trying to make the school newspaper so that everyone can contribute!" Takuya said.

"Yeah, this kid named Jaime's going to start contributing his comics and drawings," JP nodded.

"He's pretty good. Look at this sketch he drew of me," Ivan pulled out a sheet of paper. "It's called a caricature. My head looks so small, but it makes my muscles look bigger."

"When is someone going to tell him that it's not a caricature?" Koji whispered.

"Hey, where's Kouki?" Tai asked.

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since Friday," Takuya shrugged.

"He just up and left," JP said.

"He didn't even say goodbye...," Ivan glumly frowned.

"Bummer," TK and Davis smirked at each other.

"What did you guys do?" Izzy and Sora asked at the same time.

"Oh, nothing...we just had a little recording session with Kouki," TK nonchalantly pulled out Kouki's tape recorder.

"Let's just say that he won't be bothering anyone at this school anymore," Davis winked.

"You blackmailed him into switching schools?" Izzy gasped.

"What? He started it," Davis shrugged.

"We couldn't tell Tai the whole story. It would break his heart if he found out how far Kouki was going to go," TK said.

"We just had to take matters into our own hands. We're not just a host club," Davis said.

"We're family," TK said.

"And family sticks together," Davis hugged TK.

"Damn straight," TK nodded.


	15. The Refreshing Battle in Kansai!

**The Refreshing Battle in Kansai!**

"What are you guys planning to do over winter break?" Sora asked.

"Psh, I don't know," Koji scoffed.

"I guess nothing special," Kouichi sighed.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'll be sleeping in!" Tai boasted.

"Hey, don't steal my idea!" Davis whined.

"I'll probably work on turning my old PiBook into a mecha robot butler," Izzy casually said.

"Someone's been watching too much Gundam," Rika muttered.

"Gun what?" Izzy made a face.

"Nothing. I'll tell you when you're older," Rika brushed him off.

"Seriously? All you guys are gonna do is sleep and play with Tinker Toys?" Sora asked.

"So what? Do you have cooler plans than us?" Koji smirked.

"Why in fact, I do!" Sora grinned.

"Too bad nobody cares," Rika said.

"You two should go out! You're like two peas in a pod!" Mimi squeezed Rika and Koji together.

"No thanks. I don't date middle schoolers," Koji said.

"And I don't date guys with longer hair than me," Rika said.

"They so like each other," Mimi loudly whispered.

"We do not!" Rika and Koji yelled at the same time.

"Hmm?" Mimi had an amused look on her face.

"Fine, I'll tell you what I'm doing on holiday! Just stop pestering me!" Sora huffed.

"No one really asked you what you're doing," TK raised an eyebrow.

"But since you insist, tell us!" Tai said.

"I'm going to a ski resort! It's about fifteen minutes away from Osaka. Since my aunt owns the place, she's going to let me stay for free!" Sora bragged.

"Awesome," everyone unenthusiastically droned.

"Hey! It's a pretty big deal! It's a pretty expensive place; most of the people who lodge there are rich!" Sora said.

"Lucky you, I guess," Izzy shrugged.

"Did I mention that my aunt's letting me invite a couple of friends? It's all-expense paid...," Sora sang.

"I'm listening!" Davis abruptly sat up straight.

"It's all-expense paid?" Tai asked.

"Yep," Sora said in pride.

"There's gotta be a catch," Izzy shot Sora a suspicious look.

"Nope, it's not a trick," Sora shook her head.

"So what you're saying is that you're inviting us to a fancy ski resort for free and we don't have to do a single thing?" TK asked.

"Well, I didn't necessarily invite any of you but...I guess I can let you guys come," Sora tapped her chin.

"I was going to go back to New York to see my parents, but forget about that! I'm ready to drink hot cocoa while I watch hot guys hit the slopes!" Mimi squealed.

"So you're in?" Sora asked Mimi.

"It's a total given!" Mimi squealed.

"How about the rest of you?" Sora asked.

"Count me in!" Davis yelled.

"Same," Izzy said.

"That sounds cool. I'll ask my mom," Kouichi said, while Koji was obnoxiously saying no in the background.

"No no no no no-damn it. I guess I'll go if our parents are good with it," Koji sighed.

"Aww nuts! I wish I could come, but I'll be visiting my cousin in Okinawa," Takato frowned.

"That bites!" Tai said.

"And my mom's gonna drag me to France," Rika groaned.

"You don't have to make up some crazy lie. Just say that you don't wanna go," Izzy said.

"She's telling the truth," Takato said.

"Yeah. If I had to pick, I'd rather go with you guys. It's a lot better than being left behind in the shopping district of Paris," Rika scoffed.

"Um, okay...," Sora bit her lip.

"Can I bring Kari along?" Tai asked.

"Sure," Sora nodded.

"If Tai's bringing Kari, then I should go too!"

"Matt?!" everyone gasped.

"How long have you been standing here?" Tai asked.

"Not too long. Just long enough to hear that you're gonna let Tai bring Kari along. I wanna come too!" Matt whined.

"Really? I guess I can always scrounge around for one more spot," Sora counted her fingers.

"Where are we going anyways?" Matt asked.

"Didn't you hear? We're going to a special mass at church," Rika said. "It's supposed to be all night long."

"Church? Never mind, you can cross me off the list then! Smell ya later!" Matt dashed out of the room.

"Wait! She was just kidding!" Sora called out but Matt was already gone.

"That's so mean," TK snickered.

"That was pure genius," Koji smirked.

"So it seems like all of us are going, except for Takato and Rika?" Tai asked.

"Seems so. I'm gonna call my aunt later tonight to let her know," Sora nodded.

"Woot woot! This marks our first annual Host Club trip!" Tai whooped.

"So does that mean you're planning to have more trips in the future?" Rika groaned.

"On the bright side, you're not going on this trip," Takato whispered.

* * *

_Day of the trip!_

"Okay, is that everyone?" Sora tried to do a head count.

"Takato and Rika are out, so you don't have to worry about them," Tai squinted.

"We're still missing TK," Davis said.

"I wish I was missing," Koji muttered.

"You didn't have to come," Kouichi whispered.

"Yes I did," Koji said coldly.

"You don't have to follow me around if you don't want to. I _am_ capable of doing things on my own," Kouichi said.

"I never said you weren't," Koji grunted.

"Whatever. I'll leave you to adjust your attitude," Kouichi walked away.

"Boo, you sound like my stepmom!" Koji rolled his eyes.

"Hey, we're here!" Matt ran up to everyone.

"_We're_? Who invited _you_?" Tai made a face.

"No offense, but Tai's right. I didn't think you'd be coming," Sora said.

"I saw TK packing and I decided to pack up too!" Matt said.

"That sounds like a stunt Jun would pull," Davis groaned.

"Hey! Don't compare me to that crazy girl!" Matt barked.

"Can you really blame him? You are acting like her right now...," TK scratched his head.

"I am not! So where are we going?" Matt asked.

"You packed your bags and you still don't know where we're headed?" Izzy said in disbelief.

"We already told you, we're going to a huge mass at a church," Koji said with a straight face.

"Lies! I'm not falling for that! Now seriously, where are we going?" Matt stomped his foot.

"You'll see when we get there," Sora said. "Now can everyone stand still? I want to make sure we're not missing anyone! Tai, Izzy, Mimi, there's Kari, TK, Davis, Kouichi, Koji, me, and Matt. Oh..."

"Oh? That doesn't sound too good," Izzy raised an eyebrow.

"It's nothing major. It'll all be figured out by the time we get there! It seems like we have everyone and more, so we can board on the bus!" Sora said in a frenzy.

"Look at me! I'm on a short bus!" Davis stood on the stairs of the mini charter bus.

"That's probably what he does every day when the tart cart picks him up in front of his house," Koji muttered.

"_I'm a short bus kid in a short bus worlddddd!_" Davis sang.

"Shaddup and sit down, you damn kid!" the bus driver grumbled. "It's already enough that you hold up the short bus on school days, but I'll be damned if you make me run off-schedule today!"

"Sure thing, Phil!" Davis patted the bus driver on the back.

"I hate my job. Always manage to get stuck with Davis," the bus driver muttered.

* * *

"Hi! Hi! Welcome to Sugar Hill Ski Retreat!" a buxom red-headed woman greeted everyone.

"Hey, Aunt Josie!" Sora hugged the woman.

"Sora!" the woman held Sora away from her. "What did I tell you?"

"That's right...hi, Aunt Bella," Sora blushed. "Everyone, this is-"

"Hi kids! I'm Annabella Sprinkles, but please call me Aunt Bella!" the woman gushed.

"You're the Annabella Sprinkles? I knew it!" Matt gawked.

"I'm sorry, I don't recall meeting you before," Aunt Bella tapped her chin.

"We haven't met, but I wish we did sooner! You're the famous burlesque dancer, and you were also the May centerfold in Busted Magazine!" Matt gasped.

"Impressive! Someone's been looking through my résumé! I already like you!" Aunt Bella giggled.

"Heh heh," Tai made a face.

"Someone sounds jealous," Izzy nudged Tai in the ribs.

"I am not jealous," Tai said through gritted teeth.

"Who said I was talking about you?" Izzy smirked.

"Okay kids! Who's ready to get settled in?" Aunt Bella said.

"I am," Koji grumpily said.

"I've got your rooms set up, just follow me!" Aunt Bella motioned everyone over toward a mini village of cabins.

"Oooh, so pretty!" Mimi said in amazement.

"I try," Aunt Bella smiled. She opened up one of the cabins and went inside.

"This is bigger than my apartment! It's got two floors!" TK exclaimed.

"Wow! Are we getting a whole house to ourselves?" Davis gasped.

"You sure are! You girls are going to stay in this cabin. This is the biggest one available, so you girls can have your own rooms," Aunt Bella said.

"Yay!" Mimi clapped her hands.

"Thanks Aunt Bella," Sora said.

"Now let's move on! Koji, Kouichi, Izzy, you boys are going to share a cabin."

"Thank god," Koji whispered. "I won't have to be stuck with Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest, and the big-haired Prince of Dumb."

"Sorry, two of you are going to have to share a room. Most of the cabins have one single-bed and one-double bed; it's the standard floorplan. I hope you don't mind," Aunt Bella said.

"That's fine. Me and Koji can share," Kouichi said.

"Well then! Two cabins down, one more to go!" Aunt Bella fumbled with a key.

"Sweet! Our own cabin!" Davis grinned.

"Alright, since I hear you boys are almost inseparable, here's TK and Davis's room," Aunt Bella showed the boys to a double-occupancy room.

"Yippee!" TK and Davis slung their duffel bags on their beds and jumped around.

"Tai, let me show you to your room," Aunt Bella lead Tai to a single-bed room.

"Thanks, Aunt Bella," Tai plopped down on his full-sized bed.

"What about me?" Matt asked.

"What about you?" Aunt Bella looked confused.

"Everyone else has a bed but me," Matt whined.

"Sora! You told me you were bringing 8 friends," Aunt Bella shot Sora a piercing look.

"I did!" Sora said.

"Then why did you bring 9?" Aunt Bella asked.

"I didn't know Matt was coming along!" Sora stammered.

"He showed up uninvited," Koji said.

"So you're the one who screwed up my whole order, huh?" Aunt Bella glared at Matt.

"Gah! I'm sorry!" Matt shrieked.

"No, I'm sorry. There aren't any other cabins available," Aunt Bella tapped her chin.

"I can always sleep with the girls," Matt volunteered himself.

"Nice try! I might be cool, but not cool enough to have you fraternizing with the girls! I should hit you with a paddle for even thinking like that! The only solution is to share a bed with Tai!" Aunt Bella declared.

"Nuh uh! I'm not sharing a bed with pretty boy! He should just sleep on the couch!" Tai crossed his arms.

"I'm not sleeping on the couch! I should get the bed since you guys forgot about me!" Matt pouted.

"We didn't forget you! You said you didn't want to go!" Sora exclaimed.

"That was before I found out Rika lied about you guys taking a trip to church!" Matt shouted.

"Serves you right for being a church hater!" TK smirked.

"Son, what do you have against church?" Aunt Bella gasped.

"I don't hate church! I just hate how you have to sit down for hours while the priest goes on about how your rotten flesh will burn in hell and how Jesus cries raindrops when someone commits a sin!" Matt yelled.

"What church does he go to?" Koji made a face.

"If you both want the bed, then you both are gonna have to share it," Aunt Bella sighed.

"My idea of sleeping with a pretty blonde didn't involve me sharing a bed with Matt," Tai shook his head.

"Then we don't have to share," Matt said.

"Good idea! You sleep on the floor, since you don't wanna sleep on the couch!" Tai stuck out his tongue.

"Jackass!" Matt tackled Tai down to the ground.

"It's a good thing we're sharing a cabin with Izzy," Kouichi said.

"Wait a second! I just remembered that I have one single-bed cabin left!"

"Mine!" Tai called out.

"What do you mean yours? I should get the cabin! After all, you insisted on taking the bed!" Matt yelled.

"Nuh uh! Don't twist this around on me!" Tai shoved Matt.

"Enough! How about you fight for it?" Aunt Bella suggested.

"Oh, I'll do that right now!" Tai stretched his arm back.

"Not physically! I need some help around the resort since today will be a very busy day. Yes, the winner of the contest will be determined by how refreshing they are! Remember, refreshing is the name of the game in guest relations! Whoever earns the most refresher points by the end of the day gets the extra cabin! If you're interested, this competition is open to all of you boys," Aunt Bella said.

"We'll pass," Kouichi said. "Me and Koji are happy with our living arrangements."

"Ditto," Izzy nodded.

"Count us out. We're too lazy to wanna help out," Davis said.

"Love your honesty, I really do...," Aunt Bella frowned. "So I guess it's just Tai and Matt."

"You're going downnn!" Tai taunted.

"Please! I got something you don't have," Matt said.

"What? Stupidness?" Tai spat.

"No! I got all of this!" Matt slid his hands all over his chest.

"I hope they don't screw anything up...," Aunt Bella groaned to herself.

* * *

"And that's basically how you answer the phone," the concierge put the phone down.

"I think I got it," Matt nodded.

_*ring ring ring*_

"You take a go at it," the concierge said.

"Hello, Sugar Hill Ski Retreat! So what are you wearing?" Matt seductively said.

"Uh oh," the concierge sighed.

_*stomp stomp stomp*_

"I've got a gut feeling that something bad's gonna happen," Matt pressed his hand against the phone.

"Yes, miss! I'll get you some more towels," Tai passed by the concierge booth.

"Hey, Tai! Can you do me a solid and hold on to the phone for a sec? I'll bring the towels over for you," Matt asked.

"Sure," Tai grabbed the phone and handed the towels to Matt.

_*stomp stomp stomp*_

"You," Aunt Bella angrily pointed at Tai.

"Hey, Aunt Bella!" Tai said, oblivious to the fury in Aunt Bella's eyes.

"Never EVER answer the phone like that again! You see, that was a little test and you failed! 10 point reduction for you!" Aunt Bella yelled.

"But I didn't answer the phone! I was just holding it for Matt!" Tai stammered.

"Seriously? That's another 5 point reduction for pinning the blame on Matt! That brings your total down to -15 points!" Aunt Bella yelled.

"But Miss Anna-" the concierge cut in.

"Can you talk to me later? I'm not in a good mood!" Aunt Bella shook her head and walked off.

"Wow, that guy's a dick!" the concierge said.

"Glad you caught on quickly," Tai hung up the phone.

* * *

"Here are your towels, madam!" Matt walked into the jacuzzi room and dramatically kneeled down next to a middle-aged woman and held the towels up to her.

"Oh, aren't you just a prince!" the woman gushed.

"That's 10 refresher points!" Aunt Bella squealed. "It's so refreshing, I think I'm gonna need to jump in this hot tub just to calm down!"

"You sure are one refreshing gentleman! I'm going to call my girlfriends up so they can see all of the handsome, polite staff here!" the older woman said.

"You're too kind," Matt let out a casual laugh.

"That's 10 more points for advertising skills!" Aunt Bella said before she sauntered off.

_*bang bang bang*_ Tai pounded against the glass wall on the other side and flipped Matt off. Aunt Bella snuck up behind Tai and pulled his ear.

"Ow ow ow!" Tai yelped.

"Ten point reduction for vulgarity! Are you trying to defame my ski resort?" Matt could hear Aunt Bella yell.

"No, miss! Honestly! You don't see! Matt's evil! Evil!" Tai pleaded.

"Another five points off for unsportsmanlike behavior!"

"Hah hah," Matt smirked.

"Son, what's so funny?" the older woman quizzically looked at Matt.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just thinking about how much fun I have working here," Matt grinned.

* * *

"What's up?" Sora plopped down on a couch next to Tai.

"Nothing. I just suck," Tai pouted.

"Why?" Sora asked.

"If I tell you, just promise you will listen, okay?" Tai drew in a deep breath.

"Okay," Sora gave a slight nod.

"I suck cause I'm such a total Joe!" Tai whined.

"That's not very nice," Sora frowned.

"No, I didn't mean it like that! I'm saying that I'm just like him when it comes to being in the wrong place at the wrong time! I didn't mean Joe sucks, cause he's a cool guy and-"

"I get what you mean. Go on," Sora placed her hand on top of Tai's.

"Okay...how do I say this without sounding like a paranoid brat?"

"Just say what you think. We all know you're not that good with words in the first place...Tai?," Sora playfully nudged him.

"..." Tai was silent.

"Tai? Are you okay?" Sora asked.

"No, I'm not okay! Matt always manages to blame me for the stupid things he does, and then he takes credit for my work!" Tai exploded.

"Maybe you are being a paranoid brat! Don't blame Matt for your screwups! I know you don't like to admit your mistakes, but this completely low, even for you!" Sora sprang up from her seat.

"You don't understand! Just let me talk!" Tai yelled.

"No, I understand correctly! You're jealous of Matt," Sora said.

"What? God no! You should see all of the shit he's pulling! He's twisted!" Tai exclaimed.

"No, the only one twisted is you. I swear, you make up stories more than Mimi does," Sora put her hands on her hips.

"But I'm not making anything up! Please, you gotta believe me!" Tai begged.

"I'll believe you when pigs fly out of your ass!" Sora scoffed.

"Oh, that's ladylike," Tai shook his head.

"Then you should see this," Sora shoved Tai into a large plant and walked away.

"That's a five point reduction for messing up my decor!" Aunt Bella passed by Tai.

"Why me?" Tai groaned.

"And that's another 5 points! Nobody likes a whiner," Aunt Bella said.

"Great, now I'm down to -40 points...there's no way I'll beat Matt," Tai grumbled.

"_Why don't you have him a taste of his own medicine?_"

"Ahhh! TK? Davis?" Tai jumped out of the potted plant and brushed himself off.

"He's been playing dirty," Davis said.

"So maybe you should get back at him," TK flashed a sinister smile.

"Are you tricking me?" Tai asked.

"No. We just don't want Matt to win," Davis said.

"I'm really pissed at him right now. I seriously didn't want him to go on the trip with us," TK said.

"Why? What happened?" Tai asked.

"It's nothing," TK looked away. "I just don't want Matt to win."

"Then why don't you guys fight for the cabin too?" Tai asked.

"We're too lazy to compete," Davis shrugged.

"Besides, we like being together. It's better when you have someone to be with than to be alone," TK said.

"_Taaiiiii!"_

"Yes, Aunt Bella?" Tai said.

"I need you on coat check. I don't think you should be able to screw that up," Aunt Bella said.

"Um, thanks?" Tai said.

"Now chop chop! Time's a ticking and you got a lot of catching up to do!" Aunt Bella said.

* * *

"Ahhh, this is the life! Making a meal together is fun!" Mimi said.

"Mimi, then why don't you partake on the fun by helping the rest of us cook?" Izzy crossed his arms.

"But I am. I turned the crock pot on this morning," Mimi snuggled deeper into the couch.

"Where's TK and Davis?" Kari asked.

"I have no idea," Kouichi carefully mixed up some batter.

"It's not like we're their babysitters," Koji scoffed.

"I was just asking a simple question," Kari frowned as she stirred some carrots in a saucepan.

"Sorry about him, he's usually like that," Kouichi awkwardly said to Kari.

"You don't have to apologize," Kari flashed him a weak smile.

"She's right. You don't," Koji grunted.

"What's your deal, Koji? I've tried to be patient with you, but I'm really getting tired of your crankiness," Kouichi placed his bowl on the countertop.

"Okay then," Koji shrugged. He stopped what he was doing and headed to the coat rack by the entrance.

"Hey, where are you going?" Sora asked.

"Out. Don't wait up for me," Koji said and slammed the door.

"Sorry," Kouichi mouthed to Kari.

"It's okay," Kari mouthed back.

"I don't think Tai and Matt will be back soon. I guess Aunt Bella is really working them to the bone," Sora said, trying to change the subject.

"So, who are you rooting for?" Izzy asked.

"I'm voting for Tai. He's my brother, so of course I want him to win," Kari said.

"Tai. I don't know Matt that well, but he doesn't seem like the nicest person around. He did ditch us in that parking lot," Kouichi said.

"What?" Kari gave Kouichi a strange look.

"Long story," Izzy shook his head.

"I'm going with Matt. Aunt Bella really seems to like him. I guess it makes sense, since Matt is handsome," Mimi said.

"And Tai isn't?" Kari crossed her arms defensively.

"Eh, he's not my type," Mimi wrinkled her nose.

"And Matt is?" Sora put her hands on her hips.

"Oh boy," Kouichi nervously pulled on the collar of his shirt.

"I never said that. I just think he's more attractive than Tai. Who would you pick?" Mimi asked.

"I don't know," Sora shrugged.

"Are we still talking about who's winning the cabin, because it sounds like you just turned this into a beauty pageant," Izzy remarked.

"But if you had to guess, who would it be?" Kari asked.

"Tai or Matt?" Mimi asked.

"I don't know, okay? You know what, I'm not hungry anymore," Sora grabbed her jacket and stepped out of the cabin.

"What is it with everyone today?" Kouichi grimaced.

*_ding_* the crockpot shut off.

"Yay! The corned beef is ready!" Mimi excitedly ran to the crockpot.

"Alright, I guess it's just the four of us," Izzy shrugged.

"Good, that means more food for us!" Mimi grinned.

"Yeah," Kouichi nervously said.

"At least now we can have a peaceful dinner," Kari sighed.

* * *

"Here's your pasta fagioli!" Matt grabbed a bowl of soup.

*_crash_*

"Hey buddy! Sorry about that, didn't see you there!" Davis patted Matt really hard on the back.

"Ahhhh! My dress! You ruined my dress!" a young blonde woman screamed.

"I'm so sorry! Here, I'll help you clean it up!" Matt pulled out a fabric napkin.

"No! Don't touch me!"

"Hey hey hey! What's going on here?" Aunt Bella stomped over to the scene.

"This bumbling idiot spilled soup on me and then he tried to cop a feel!" the girl screamed.

"I wasn't-I didn't mean to-I wasn't trying to touch you like that!" Matt stammered.

"Do you know who I am?" the girl asked.

"No. Have we met?" Matt raised an eyebrow.

"I am...Berlin Marriott! Yes, that

Marriott, so that makes me a rich heiress!" the blonde girl pressed her lips together.

"That's funny...I never heard of her," Miss Bella muttered into Matt's ear.

"Neither have I," Matt mumbled back.

"I'm so sorry, Miss Berlin! Matt, your score's been reset to zero!" Miss Bella declared.

"But that's not fair!" Matt stammered.

"Would you rather switch points with Tai?" Aunt Bella put her hands on her hips.

"Depends. Does he have more points than me?" Matt asked.

"Let's just say he's at a below freezing point, and so will you if this keeps up," Aunt Bella quipped.

"But I didn't do anything wrong!" Matt protested.

"What? Are you saying it's socially acceptable in Japan to grab a stranger's bosom?" the blond girl said.

"No! That's-"

"What next? Vending machines that sell used panties?" the girl crossed her arms.

"I guess she hasn't been to the Shibuya station then," Davis chuckled.

"You! It's all your fault I spilled soup on this girl!" Matt grabbed Davis by his shirt.

"How is that his fault? I didn't even see this boy near you until now," the heiress snapped.

"But he was-you-" Matt slid his hand down his face in frustration.

"Five point deduction for not owning up to your mistakes. Honestly, Matt, I thought better of you," Aunt Bella shook her head in disappointment.

"But-"

"Kitchen now. And don't touch anything," Aunt Bella commanded.

"Uh-," a breath of air escaped from Matt's throat.

"Miss, is there anything I can do to make this better?" Aunt Bella turned to the girl.

"No, I'm fine... I would tell you to fire that waiter, but I don't like taking jobs away from the help," the girl brushed her finger against her cheek.

"Oh, that's okay! I'm not even paying him anything! Matt, never mind about the kitchen! You are officially fired!" Aunt Bella said.

"What?" Matt gasped. "Does that mean that-"

"Yep, Tai wins by default," Aunt Bella sighed and walked away.

"Yippee!" Tai dashed out and did a cartwheel. "I win!"

"Not yet. Just because I'm fired doesn't mean I can't still earn refresher points," Matt clenched his fists together.

"I'm pretty sure that's what being fired means," Davis scratched his head.

"Stay out of this, Davis!" Matt barked. "Look, I have the rest of the day to redeem myself, so you better watch your back."

"I'm not scared. After all, I didn't get fired," Tai sneered.

"_Taaaaaiiiii!_"

"Oh, what do you know? Aunt Bella's calling me over," Tai smirked.

"Sounds like you screwed up something else," Matt smirked back.

"Whatever, at least I'm not fired," Tai stuck his tongue out and skipped away.

"I'm so sorry you had to witness that, Miss Berlin," Matt said to the girl.

"You should be," the girl stuck her nose up in the air.

"Say, you're kinda cute. Wanna go on a date later tonight?" Matt winked.

"Ugh, no way!" the girl said in disgust.

"But you don't even know how good of a kisser I am!" Matt said.

"And I'd rather not know," the heiress turned her back to Matt and stormed out of the dining room.

"Wait up, Berlin!" Davis chased after the girl.

"Next time, you be the girl! I'm not doing this ever again!" the girl pulled out her wig and shook it.

"So, how does it feel to be hit on by your brother?" Davis tried not to crack up.

"That's just creepy on so many levels," TK shuddered.

"Hey, he could have gone further," Davis lost his composure and burst out in laughter.

"Not funny," TK whipped him with his wig.

* * *

"Look, Aunt Bella! I made the dishes sparkling clean! See?" Tai held up a plate.

"Gah! It's clear!" Aunt Bella shrieked.

"Yeah, it took a while but I took all that white grime out!" Tai smiled.

"How on earth did you make the plates see-through?! Those were ceramic plates! You scraped away all of the paint!" Aunt Bella hyperventilated. "How many of these did you clean?!"

"Just one so far," Tai held up a Brillo pad, oblivious to Aunt Bella's panicking.

"Okay, okay...," Aunt Bella took in a deep breath. "Tai. We have a dishwasher. All you had to do was put the dirty dishes in there and turn the dishwasher on..."

"Oh," Tai put the ceramic plate down on the counter.

"Okay...I'm going to reward you with a $50 gift card for demonstrating your hard work and diligence," Aunt Bella sighed.

"Really?" Tai's eyes lit up.

"Yes, you really show dedication to your job, and I guess that's what really matters. Anyways, I wouldn't want you to overexert yourself, so you're not doing any more clean-up chores," Aunt Bella said.

"Awesome!" Tai cheered.

"Miss Annabella! We need more waiters! The dinner crowd is completely big!" a maître d burst into the kitchen.

"Uh, are you good at carrying stuff?" Aunt Bella asked Tai.

"Heck yeah!" Tai nodded.

"Good! Then get out there!" Aunt Bella shoved Tai out of the kitchen. "Oh! I forgot! Put this on!" she threw a black apron at Tai.

"Got it!" Tai tied the apron around his waist.

"I need you to take Table 4, 6, 13, and 17's orders," the maître d instructed.

"Okay," Tai nodded and headed to the first table. "Hi, my name's Tai and I'll be taking care of you tonight. Can I start you off with something to drink?"

"Eh, I'll have a decaf coffee," an older man said.

"Tea," an distinguished older woman said.

"I'll just take a water," a teenage girl said.

"Alright, coming right up!" Tai dashed to the kitchen. He grabbed the drinks and walked back to the table. "Have you guys looked over-"

"Our dearest apologies, but the Blue Jazz Symphonic Group is running late tonight," a man walked up to the stage inside the restaurant.

"Awww...," the patrons sighed in disappointment.

"But at the Sugar Hill Ski Resort, we'll never leave you guys without some entertainment to kick off the night! And now performing, a special, undiscovered talent...Matt Ishida! Enjoy the show!"

"The bastard!" Tai gritted through his teeth.

"Hi everyone," Matt walked up to the stage, with guitar slung on his back. He pulled a stool and moved it to the center of the stage. "Let me just first say that I'm very honored to be performing for you guys."

"How the hell did he end up on the stage?" Tai wondered.

"That's what I want to know," Aunt Bella stood next to Tai.

"Wait, so you didn't put him up there?" Tai asked.

"No. I didn't even know he could play music...well, he better know how to play," Aunt Bella sternly said.

"Anyways, I'm going to play a special song. This is going to be the first time I've ever performed it, so you all are going to be the first ones to hear it," Matt said.

"Jesus Christ...I've never been this nervous," Aunt Bella groaned.

"This song was inspired by a girl who holds a special place in my heart. You see, I've known her for years," Matt looked into the audience.

"Awww...," the crowd smiled.

"This special girl better not be Sora," Tai grumbled.

"So I hope you like this song..._You've got a boy, you've got a girl, sittin' underneath a tree, they sit there everyday, and even though, you may think, that this is the way to be, it may not always be that way..._," Matt started to sing.

"How refreshing!" Aunt Bella sniffled.

"No, no, no. This can't be happening!" Tai ran his fingers through his hair.

"Uh, waiter? When are you going to take our order?" the teenage girl said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. So what can I get you guys?" Tai said.

"I'll have a filet mignon," the older man said.

"Tilapia," the woman curtly said.

"And I'll have a cheeseburger," the teenage girl said.

"Honey, are you seriously going to eat that? You're going to gain a lot of weight from that garbage food," the woman said in disgust.

"Meredith, let the girl eat whatever she wants," the man sternly said.

"Fine, but she better not blame me when boys don't like her because she's fat," the woman quipped.

"If I can put my two-cents in, I think you're a beautiful girl," Tai said to the girl.

"Thanks," the girl flashed a timid smile and looked down at the table.

"Hmm...," the woman made a disapproving face.

"So, is that all? Tilapia, filet, and cheeseburger?" Tai asked.

"N-" the woman started to speak.

"Yes," the man cut her off.

"Okay, coming right up!" Tai said.

"Tai, you really outdid yourself," Aunt Bella snuck up behind him.

"Gah! You scared me!" Tai put his hand to his chest.

"You handled yourself excellently! Look, you left that girl smitten!" Aunt Bella tilted her head in the table's direction.

"Really?" Tai turned his head to see.

"Don't look!" Aunt Bella slapped Tai's hand.

"Huh?" Tai made a face.

"You're making it obvious! Look through the corner of your eyes! Don't move your head or she'll know we're talking about her!" Aunt Bella whispered. Tai did as she instructed and sure enough, the girl was gawking at him.

"Hey, what are you two looking at?" Matt put his arms around Aunt Bella and Tai.

"Jesus, you startled me! I hate when people sneak up on me like that!" Aunt Bella gasped.

"Sorry, I was just so excited to ask you how I did. What did you guys think of my performance?" Matt asked.

"Simply refreshing!" Aunt Bella gushed.

"Yeah, it was great...," Tai rolled his eyes.

"Refreshing enough for me to win the suite?" Matt eagerly smiled.

"Nope," Aunt Bella shook her head.

"Wha...whaddya mean no?" Matt's jaw dropped.

"You were fired, which means you can't earn refresher points," Aunt Bella said.

"Told you so...," Davis walked past them.

"Since you screwed up in front of a hotel heiress, I had no choice but to cut you loose! Even if he didn't win by default, Tai sure is a refreshing guy! He definitely has room for improvement, but he's a diamond in the rough," Aunt Bella said.

"You think?" Tai was surprised.

"Yes!" Aunt Bella excitedly nodded.

"But I played a song!" Matt stuttered.

"And it was a lovely song," Aunt Bella said.

"But I played a song!" Matt repeated.

"Yes, but I didn't ask you to play a song," Aunt Bella said. "Anyways Tai, let me show you to your cabin!"

"Okay!"

"I can't get a break, can I?" Matt groaned.

* * *

"Hmmm...that's funny. The door's unlocked," Aunt Bella turned the doorknob.

"_Who's there?_"

"Tell me who you are first, and tell me why you're here," Aunt Bella said.

"_Hold up, I'll be at the front door!_"

"Tamaki Suoh?" Tai's jaw dropped.

"Hello, Matt's angry friend!" Tamaki stood by the door in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Oh! I'm so sorry to bother you, Mr. Suoh!" Aunt Bella said.

"No worries!" Tamaki smiled. "Is there anything you need?"

"No! I was just checking the cabins! Have a good night!" Aunt Bella nervously said.

"You too!" Tamaki said and closed the door.

"I'm so sorry, Tai. I forgot Tamaki reserved that cabin!" Aunt Bella said.

"So does this mean I don't get my cabin?" Tai frowned.

"I'm afraid so. There aren't any other empty cabins around," Aunt Bella sighed.

"That's a bummer," Tai frowned.

"I'll give you a $150 gift card. It's good at the restaurants and gift shops at the resort. I'm sorry," Aunt Bella pouted.

"It's okay," Tai slumped his shoulders.

* * *

"_This guy used to put me to sleep when I was a kid. Amazing. He has the warmth of a snow pea. He makes Mister Rogers look like Mick Jagger..."_

"Ahhh," Mimi woke up and stretched her arms. "Psst, Izzy...," she grabbed him by the buttons on his shirt.

"What?" Izzy groggily grumbled.

"Look at Kari and Kouichi," Mimi pointed to the floor. Kari and Kouichi fell asleep on each other, Kouichi's arms around Kari.

"Yeah, they're sleeping. So what?" Izzy crankily said, still half-asleep.

"Wouldn't they make a cute couple?" Mimi smiled in Izzy's face.

"I swear, you just like pairing any boy and girl up and branding them as a couple...," Izzy huffed.

"That's not true! I wouldn't do that if it were Kari and Tai. That's disturbing," Mimi grimaced.

"I'm going back to sleep. Don't wake me unless the cabin manages to catch fire," Izzy put his head back on the armrest.

"You're so not romantic," Mimi crossed her arms and leaned on Izzy.

"Hey, I'm back," Sora tiptoed to the living room.

"Sora!" Mimi sat back up. "Don't Kari and Kouichi just look so cute together? They look so romantic!"

"If you ask me, they look cold," Sora said as she took Mimi's blanket away.

"Hey! I was using that!" Mimi whined.

"Not anymore," Sora gently put the blanket on top of Kari and Kouichi.

"Ugh, none of you guys have an ounce of romance in your bones," Mimi pouted.

"No, we just have our heads on straight," Izzy mumbled.

"Yep," Sora nodded.

"I don't care what you guys say! Romance is brewing in the air tonight!" Mimi said.

"Good night, Mimi! Go to bed," Sora shook her head as she climbed up the stairs.

* * *

"Get out of my bed," Tai shoved Matt off the bed.

"Whatever happened to your little cabin?" Matt sneered.

"You won't believe it, but turns out Tamaki had it on reserve," Tai pressed his lips together.

"Oh my gosh! Tamaki's here?" Matt gasped.

"Yeah," Tai said in disdain.

"Hah hah hah hah hah! That just made my whole freakin' day!" Matt burst out laughing.

"That's not funny!" Tai punched a wall.

"What do you have against him? He's a pretty cool guy," Matt said.

"Of course you would think so. You think anyone that pisses me off is cool," Tai shook his head.

"Come on, Tamaki's not that bad," Matt playfully nudged Tai.

"Not in the mood," Tai climbed into the bed.

"Hey ho, what are you doing?" Matt put his hands on his hips.

"Going to bed," Tai covered himself up in the blankets.

"Nuh uh! This is my bed now, and I'm not sharing with you!" Matt said.

"Too bad. I'm sleeping here. Go take the couch," Tai said.

"No way! _I'm_ sleeping on the bed!" Matt protested.

"Fine, but just warning you that I'm staying here," Tai said.

"Alright...if that's how you want to play," Matt put on his pajamas and climbed into the bed. "Good night, Tai!" Matt shut off the lights.

*_boom_*

"Jackass," Tai fell off the bed and crashed to the floor.

"Sticks and stones, bro...sticks and stones," Matt said.


	16. Operation Kari & Kouichi's First Date!

**Author's Note: Just wanted to give a shout-out to Digidestined Ninja of Sunshine and Eaten Alive By Boredom! You've been super amazing and supportive, and I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate that! I can't wait to post new chapters up, because I love hearing what you guys have to say. Thank you so much for reading all of my work, it really means a lot to me :D**

* * *

**Operation Kari and Kouichi's First Date!**

_*click click click click click*_

"What on earth?" Izzy drowsily sat up on the couch. The TV was still on, Kari and Kouichi were still sleeping on the floor, and the light of dawn shone through the blinds. For some odd reason, Izzy felt anxious. He checked his calculator watch; it was only 5 in the morning.

_*click click click*_

"Mimi?" Izzy looked over his shoulder to see Mimi typing away on his laptop. He walked over to the kitchen table where she was and stood in front of her.

"Yeah?" Mimi looked up from the computer.

"What are you doing?" Izzy eyed her suspiciously.

"Nothing...," Mimi bit at her nail.

"Mimi...," Izzy groaned.

"What? I'm not doing anything bad!" Mimi defensively said.

"How did you even break into my laptop? It's password protected," Izzy asked.

"I know your password," Mimi smiled.

"What?!" Izzy gasped.

"It's totally obvious! It's...," she whispered the password into Izzy's ear.

"How did you know?"

"I just do," Mimi giggled.

"What are you even looking at?" Izzy moved his head to see the screen.

"Nothing!" Mimi frantically clicked the browser windows shut and slammed the laptop closed.

"Hey! Careful! That's a $1800 Mac!" Izzy said.

"Oops, sorry...sorry I hurt you," Mimi gave the laptop a peck and gently stroked it.

"Ugh...," Izzy rolled his eyes. "I'm headed to my cabin. I'll see you in the morning."

"But it's already morning," Mimi said.

"I'll see you guys in a couple of hours then," Izzy took the laptop off the table and carried it in the crook of his arm.

"Kay kay! I should probably head to bed. I was awake all night," Mimi yawned.

"Good night-uh, morning-uh, whatever, just sleep well, okay?" Izzy waved bye and stepped out of the cabin.

* * *

"Seems like everyone had a good night's sleep," Sora remarked.

"Not me. A certain someone kept pushing me out of the bed," Tai grumbled.

"Maybe because a huge porcupine head kept hogging the sheets!" Matt barked.

"Why don't you two flip a coin for the bed?" Kari suggested.

"That's not a bad idea," TK nodded.

"If we're gonna flip a coin, we need someone who's neutral, that way the coin flip can't be rigged in someone's favor," Izzy said.

"I'll do it," Koji volunteered. "I hate the both of you, so I could care less of who wins the bed."

"Aren't you nice...," Matt shook his head.

"Heads or tails?" Koji asked.

"Head!" Tai yelled.

"Tee hee," Davis and TK snickered.

"Hey, what's so funny about that?" Tai asked.

"Nothing. There's nothing wrong with wanting the head," TK and Davis tried to stifle their laughter.

_*clink*_ Koji flicked the coin up in the air. He tried to catch it, but the coin rolled down the table and kept rolling on the floor.

"Come on! Now we'll have to walk over to see which side the coin landed on," Tai groaned as the coin kept rolling.

"Hey look! It's a quarter!" a young, blond boy picked up the coin.

"You shouldn't pick things up from the ground," the blond boy was accompanied by a tall, dark, and handsome boy.

"Honey! Mori!" Matt sprang up from the booth and ran up to the boys.

"Matty-chan!" Honey hugged him.

"Hi," Mori said.

"There you are! I hate when you guys run off! It's hard enough trying to keep track of the twins and Tamaki!" Haruhi caught up to Mori and Honey.

"Hey, we're clearly offended by that!" the Hitachiin twins snuck up behind Haruhi.

"Whoa!" Haruhi was startled.

"It's not our fault if you can't keep track of us," Hikaru brought his face close to Haruhi and gently cupped her chin.

"Yeah. After all, we try to make ourselves as accessible as we can," Kaoru did the same on the other side of Haruhi.

"_Gah! Take your hands off my daughter, you perverts!_"

"There's only one person that could be," Matt chuckled.

"Boss, you're delusional," Kaoru stepped away from Haruhi.

"He's right. All of the restaurant patrons are staring at us right now," Kyoya stepped in.

"We weren't even doing anything to her, so you can relax," Hikaru said.

"Mind your business, everyone! This is a family matter!" Tamaki barked at the customers.

"Stop it! You're causing a scene," Haruhi hissed at Tamaki.

"I'm so sorry! Are you mad at me? Please don't be mad at me, pretty please!" Tamaki kneeled in front of Haruhi.

"Knock it off. And get up from the floor. Can you at least pretend you're normal?" Haruhi grumbled.

"Hi, Tamaki," Matt smiled.

"Matt! My long-lost twin!" Tamaki gave Matt a tight bear hug.

"For the last time, boss, you and Matt are not twins!" Hikaru huffed.

"Besides, we already have one set of twins. We don't need another," Kyoya smirked.

"Exactly!" the twins said. "Hey...wait! What did you mean by that?"

"Hmm," Kyoya hummed.

"Long time, no see guys!" Matt said.

"Yeah! Tell me about it. What are you doing here?" Haruhi asked.

"My friend's aunt, Annabella Sprinkles, owns the place, so we decided to come here for vacation," Matt said.

"Really? My dad is friends with her! They met at a tranny bar. Anyways, I was planning to vacation here alone, but when the host club found out, they decided to come too. Don't you hate when people tag along uninvited? It really messes things up," Haruhi bitterly looked at the host club.

"Yeah...I hate when people do that...," Matt awkwardly laughed.

* * *

"Ugh, why's Matt talking to those guys?" Tai narrowed his eyes.

"What did they ever do to you?" Sora asked.

"He got upset because they called him a commoner," Izzy rolled his eyes.

"It's not just that he called me a commoner! It's they way they look down at us, like they're better than us! Someone needs to show those guys a lesson!" Tai slammed his fist on the table.

"And how do you propose we do that? By making up our own host club? Because, news flash, we already did!" Izzy obnoxiously said.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Are you saying this club was formed just because you wanted to spite someone?" Koji asked.

"Pretty much," Sora shook her head,

"Cool," Koji grinned.

"Cool?" Kouichi raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah! The origin of this club was to piss off another club! How badass is that?" Koji said.

"I'm glad someone's looking at this through a positive view," Sora poked her fork in her pancakes.

"Hmm...those twins are pretty cute. I wasn't really into redheads before until I saw those two. Even so, the blond one is the hottest of the bunch! He's like a beautiful prince!" Mimi dreamily sighed.

"They are a pretty handsome bunch," Kari said.

"Is that all you two do? Talk about boys?" Sora exhaled.

"No, sometimes they talk about politics and sports," Koji sarcastically said.

"Speaking of, what did you think of that Bruins game a couple of days ago?" Kari asked Koji.

"I was just joking, I didn't really expect-"

"Yeah, you didn't think that I like to keep up with sports just because I'm a girl. Maybe you should think before you decide to be a comedian," Kari sternly said. "Do you have anything to say now?"

"Pass the ketchup," Koji said.

"How about after breakfast, we head for the slopes?" Tai asked.

"Sorry, but we have plans," Mimi said.

"We who?" Tai crossed his arms.

"Since we had a nice time last night, me, Sora, Izzy, Kari and Kouichi decided to have a day out on the town," Mimi said.

"We are?" Kari, Kouichi, and Sora asked.

"Since when did we-ow!"

"Shut up!" Mimi pinched Izzy's thigh.

"Really?" Tai raised an eyebrow.

"Guess so," Kouichi shrugged.

"I spent all night coming up with a list of things we should do!" Mimi said.

"So that's what you were doing on my laptop last night," Izzy said.

"Guilty as charged!" Mimi grinned.

"So it's just gonna be me, Davis, TK, Koji, and Matt...," Tai said.

"Whoa, when did I agree to hang out with you derps?" Koji asked.

"If you didn't want to hang out with us, then why did you come here?" Davis asked.

"Free vacation," Koji shrugged.

"Waiter! Can we get the check please?" Sora raised her hand.

"Going so soon?" Tamaki walked up to the table.

"Yep! Come on, everybody!" Tai got up from the booth.

"But I'm not done yet," TK said, his face stuffed with waffles.

_*crash*_ Tai took TK's plate and threw it down on the ground.

"Tai!" Sora gasped.

"Now you're done! Let's go," Tai yelled at TK.

"My waffles...," TK sadly looked at the place where his breakfast used to be.

"Don't worry! I'll get you another plate! It's on me," Tamaki said.

"Thanks," TK said.

"Tai, if you want to leave, then go ahead, but the rest of us are staying," Sora said.

"Fine! I'm leaving," Tai stuck his nose up in the air and stomped out of the restaurant.

"Why is he always so angry? Sometimes I get the feeling that he doesn't like me," Tamaki frowned.

"I don't think he took it too well when you called him a commoner," Haruhi said.

"So he wasn't making that part up," Kari said.

"Did you seriously use the word 'commoner'? Isn't that a little too 18th century?" Davis grimaced.

"Then what's a better word to use?" Tamaki asked.

"How about peasant?" Hikaru said.

"Why do you have to refer to us normal class people as commoners anyways? Just because we're not as rich as you doesn't give you permission to treat us like we're a freak show," Sora said.

"You have no idea how many times I've tried to tell him that," Haruhi sighed.

"You have to admit, your species is pretty weird. You commoners love your instant coffee and expos," Honey stuffed a whole slice of chocolate cake in his mouth.

"We're not different species. We're all Homo sapiens," Izzy said.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not a homo," Koji said.

"At least we know one thing for sure. Ignorance runs through all social classes," Kyoya pushed up his glasses.

"Who are you calling ignorant?" Koji pounded his fist on the table.

"I wasn't calling anyone in particular ignorant. You're acting very defensive about it, so you must think of yourself as ignorant, no?" Kyoya nonchalantly said.

"Kyoya...," Haruhi groaned.

"That's it. I'm done here," Koji angrily got up from his seat and left.

"Tai's right. Why do you even like these guys? They're so arrogant," Sora whispered to Matt.

"They're actually really cool once you get to know them better. Just give them a chance. You'll see," Matt said.

"So...this food looks delectable. Any recommendations?" Tamaki awkwardly drummed his hands on the table.

"I'd be glad to give you some recommendations," Mimi winked at Tamaki.

"How? This is the first time we've eaten here and the only thing you've had was strawberry crepes," Izzy raised an eyebrow.

"Then strawberry crepes I shall have!" Tamaki declared.

"I'm gonna have more chocolate cake!" Honey smiled.

"This probably isn't my place to talk, but don't you think you've had enough cake? You've already eaten three slices," Sora said in concern.

"You can never have too much sweets!" Honey grinned so wide, little pink flowers began to surround his head.

"Aren't you just the most adorable thing ever," Kari smiled.

"Don't encourage him," Mori said.

"He likes to milk it," Kyoya said.

"Oooh! Milk! I want that instead of tea with my cake," Honey squealed.

* * *

"Mimi, are you ready? We have to meet everyone at the lobby at 12," Kari knocked on Mimi's door.

"Oh, that! Funny thing...," Mimi nervously laughed.

"It doesn't sound like I'll be laughing anytime soon," Kari said by the door.

"You see, the Ouran boys are going to be hanging out by the ice rink and I kinda wanna-"

"Say no more. I can't believe you would flake out on your own plans," Kari said.

"There's my schedule on the coffee table, so you guys can use it as a guide," Mimi said.

"Thanks," Kari sighed. She grabbed the pink sheet of paper and walked out of the cabin.

* * *

"Hey Kouichi," Kari walked up to him.

"Hey. Where's everyone else?" Kouichi asked.

"Mimi's not coming," Kari said.

"But didn't she-,"

"Yes. I've known her for years, and she still manages to confuse me," Kari shook her head.

"Maybe we should call up Izzy and Sora to check up on them. We have been waiting here for fifteen minutes," Kouichi said.

"Good idea," Kari nodded. She pulled out her cell phone and pressed 2 on her speed dial.

"_Hello?_"

"Sora, where are you? Me and Kouichi are waiting by the lobby for you guys," Kari said.

"What about Mimi?" Sora asked.

"She decided to hang out with the Ouran boys," Kari said.

"Ugh. Look, sorry but you guys go on without me. I'm not even ready and I don't want to hold you up," Sora said.

"Okay," Kari hung up her phone.

"Sora's a no-show?" Kouichi asked.

"Guess so. Let me call Izzy," Kari scrolled through her contacts.

* * *

"_Stepped up in the party like my name was 'that bitch', all these haters mad because I'm so established..._"

"Call me crazy, but I think your phone's ringing," Tai made a face.

"That can't be my phone. I don't use that crap for my ringtones," Izzy scoffed.

"Are you sure?" Tai asked.

"_Check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out..._"

"Yeah, do what the song says and check it out. I swear that's your phone!" Tai said.

"I can't believe it," Izzy held the ringing phone in his hand.

"_This beat is banging.._."

"I can't believe it...," Izzy stared at his phone.

"_I can't believe iiiiittttt..._"

"Answer it! It's Kari!" Tai snatched the phone from Izzy. "Hello?"

"Tai? Where's Izzy?"

"Here, I'll get him. Iz, it's for you," Tai handed the phone back to Izzy,

"No shit," Izzy rolled his eyes. "Kari, what's up?"

"Hey, just wondering where you were," Kari said.

"Why? Are you okay?" Izzy asked.

"What's wrong with Kari? Did something bad happen to her? We have to get there right away!" Tai panicked and shook Izzy.

"Shut up!" Izzy slapped Tai away.

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, Kari. I wasn't talking to you. Now what's going on?" Izzy asked.

"We were supposed to meet up at the lobby like Mimi said. It's already 12:20."

"I didn't think Mimi was actually serious about that. Tell Mimi that I can't come," Izzy said.

"I would...if she were actually here," Kari said.

"Hold on! Are you telling me that Mimi didn't even show up?" Izzy's jaw dropped.

"Exactly. She said she was going to the skating rink with the Ouran Host Club," Kari said.

"Unbelievable! That girl drives me insane-I can't stand her sometimes," Izzy huffed.

"Alright...I guess I'll let you go now. Bye."

"So, what'd she say? Is she okay?" Tai interrogated.

"Yes, Tai. She's fine. I guess Mimi had this whole outing planned, but not everyone showed up, including her. She really pisses me off," Izzy shook his head.

"What does it matter? It's not like you're going with them anyways," Tai said.

"I think I still have the right to be annoyed. It really ticks me off when people don't go by their word. As if that weren't enough, this stupid ringtone sure isn't brightening my day either," Izzy said.

"Can't you always change it back?" Tai asked.

"I've tried, but it won't let me! Whatever happened, it's permanent. Now I have to find a way to get it out ASAP," Izzy furiously tapped at his touch screen.

"Why don't you set your ringtone to silent," Tai suggested.

"I did, but it only set the ringtone volume up!" Izzy screamed.

"Hah hah hah hah hah! I'm sorry, but that's pretty funny," Tai laughed.

"One of you guys switched my ringtone, and I will find out who," Izzy rubbed his chin.

"At least you can cross me off. I don't bother touching your phone because it's not like you have anything interesting on it," Tai said.

"Thanks...so it would be physically impossible for Takato or Rika to do it, so it couldn't be either of them. I guess I can believe you, and it couldn't be Sora-"

"Hold up! Why did you write Sora off so quickly?" Tai interrupted.

"Because she would never do that. It's just not in her nature. Unlike some people, she has maturity," Izzy snapped. "Kouichi or Kari couldn't have done it, I'm not too sure about Koji though. He could have done it just to be a jerk, but then again, he probably couldn't have done it because he has better things to do with his time...at least that's what he says. So that narrows it down to four people: Matt, TK, Davis, and Mimi. Out of those possibilities, it would least likely be Matt because he's been too busy getting chummy with the Ouran boys. I'm not sure if Mimi could have done it. She did break into my laptop, but she's too simple-minded to know how to work an iPhone-"

"Whoa! Don't you think that's a little harsh?" Tai's jaw dropped.

"No," Izzy said. "Now that leaves it down to...of course! They had to have done it! Once I hunt those guys down, they're going to get it! Now if you don't mind, I have a pair of idiots to track down," Izzy stomped away.

"I've never seen him this pissed ever. I guess today is not his day," Tai raised an eyebrow.

"Tai! What are you up to?" Sora came up to him.

"Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you have met up with Kari and Kouichi?" Tai asked Sora.

"I was going to, but I was already running late and I didn't want everyone to wait for me. I already figured that Izzy wasn't going to show up, but when Kari called and told me that Mimi wasn't with them, I decided not to bother coming. I didn't want to feel like a babysitter," Sora said.

"So Kari and Kouichi are by themselves?" Tai gasped.

"Yeah, it's probably better that way. After all, three's a crowd," Sora shrugged.

"Are you kidding me?! Do you know what you just did?" Tai grabbed on to her.

"What? You act like I just burned all of your soccer gear," Sora said.

"Kari and Kouichi are alone!" Tai yelled.

"So what?" Sora said.

"You don't understand! It's not like you have a baby sister!" Tai freaked out.

"I think she's old enough to take care of herself. Besides, Kouichi's a nice kid. I highly doubt they're going to do anything," Sora said.

"Noooooo!" Tai slid his hands down his face.

"I was going to hang out with you, but if you're going to be acting weird, I think I'll see what Matt's up to instead," Sora walked away.

"Nooooo! I promise I won't be weird! Don't leave me alone to my paranoia!" Tai fell to his knees, but Sora was already gone.

* * *

"Oh! I'm so hot right now!" a teenage girl squealed. She was with bunch of friends, and they were gawking at Hikaru and Kaoru.

"Brother, I'm a little chilly," Kaoru whined.

"Does this help?" Hikaru slid up over and pressed his body against Kaoru.

"Ahhhh! Oh my god!" the gang of girls shrieked in excitement.

"It does feel nice," Kaoru said.

"Tell me what would make it perfect. You know I would do anything for you," Hikaru stroked Kaoru's cheek.

"What are you guys doing?" TK asked.

"Shush! You're interrupting their intimate moment!" one of the girls scolded.

"You're talking about those two guys? They're just faking it," Davis scoffed.

"Oh yeah? You're just jealous because you don't have a very close relationship like we do," Hikaru smirked.

"Jealous of what?" Davis scoffed.

"Unlike you two, we're very secure in our relationship. We don't need to flaunt our displays of affections to show everyone how close we are," TK put his hands on Davis's shoulders.

"Exactly. We have something those Weasley twins don't have," Davis said.

"What?" the girls asked.

"A deep, genuine love for each other," Davis replied.

"A love stronger than brotherly bonds could ever be," TK nuzzled Davis's face.

"We're closer than anyone could possibly understand," Davis turned around to face TK.

"It's like we share a different world, where we're the only two people around," TK brought his face closer to Davis's.

"If you think about it, we're like one person. I couldn't imagine my life without you. I might not be able to carry on," Davis softly whispered.

"I couldn't imagine my life without you either," TK pulled Davis by his shirt and kissed him. Davis ran his fingers through TK's hair and lightly tugged it as TK gripped on tightly to the front of Davis's shirt.

"Ahhhh! My heart is beating at like a million miles a minute!" one girl gasped.

"Oh my god, oh my god!" another girl fanned her face.

"If I was hot before, now I'm severely burning up!" a girl said in heavy breaths.

"Big deal!" Hikaru said.

"Huh?" TK and Davis broke away from their passionate kiss.

"Well, can you top that?" a girl asked Hikaru.

"Yeah...right, Kaoru?" Hikaru nervously laughed.

"Sure...," Kaoru bit his lip.

"Then make out with each other!" a girl commanded.

"Fine! We will," Hikaru held his brother's face close to his.

"Hikaru...," Kaoru whined.

"Shhh, shhh, let's just pretend no one's here," Hikaru shakily said. Their lips were only a couple of millimeters away before the twins quickly pulled away.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't do it!" Kaoru said.

"Me neither," Hikaru grimaced.

"You two are such phony teases," the girls said in disgust and walked away.

"Score!" TK and Davis high-fived each other.

"That's not fair! You guys cheated!" Hikaru said.

"You can't pull that card on us! You know we can't make out with each other," Kaoru whined.

"Didn't you say that you would do anything for your brother?" Davis smirked.

"I thought you two had a strong connection. What happened to that?" TK jeered.

"We're brothers! Isn't that good enough?" Hikaru said.

"Amateurs," Davis grinned.

"Davis, don't be so mean," TK reached for Davis's hand. "It's not their fault they can't express their love like we can."

"That's so true, babydoll," Davis winked.

"I love it when you call me that, you studmuffin," TK said.

"Come here, babydoll...," Davis growled as he wrapped one arm around TK's waist.

"Studmuffin," TK sighed and gave Davis a small peck on the lips. The small peck turned into several small pecks, then longer ones, and progressed into a steamier, hot makeout session.

"Let's leave, Kaoru," Hikaru huffed.

"I'm coming," Kaoru followed suit.

"That was awesome!" TK exclaimed.

"Did you see their faces! We left them speechless!" Davis laughed.

"You!" Tai pointed at the boys.

"What?" Davis jumped in surprise.

"I've been looking everywhere for you two! Izzy is so mad at you guys right now," Tai said.

"Why? What did we even do to him?" TK gasped.

"Come on, don't play stupid! He already figured out that it was you guys, and now he wants to kill you. Luckily, I need you to do something for me!" Tai sounded like a salesperson.

"How is that lucky?" Davis frowned.

"Since I'll be keeping you busy with my mission, you'll be out of Izzy's sight and then he can't kill you anytime soon," Tai said.

"What is it?" TK asked.

"Kari and Kouichi decided to go into the town for the day, so-"

"Say no more! I'll keep an eye out for my princess Kari!" Davis saluted Tai and dashed off.

"TK?" Tai bit his lip.

"Got it. I'll make sure Davis doesn't get carried away," TK nodded.

"Thanks man! I knew I can trust you!" Tai said.

* * *

"What do you want to do?" Kari asked Kouichi.

"I dunno. What about you?" Kouichi shrugged.

"Well, Mimi did spend all night coming up with a list of things to do. Maybe we should follow the schedule," Kari said.

"Sounds like a good idea. Where does it say we go first?" Kouichi asked.

"Lunch at Cafe Fantaisie," Kari read.

"Lunch does sound good. I am hungry," Kouichi said.

"Hi! Table for two?" Kari walked up to the hostess.

"Yup, we have a table reserved for you!" the hostess grabbed two menus from her podium.

"Wait...we have reservations?" Kari asked.

"Yes! Kari, right?" the hostess asked.

"Yeah, but I-"

"Your friend made reservations ahead of time, so we saved you a table," the hostess said.

"That's cool," Kouichi shrugged as the hostess led them to a small table by the window.

"Here are your menus. Your waiter will be with you shortly," the hostess said.

"..." Kouichi silently flipped through his menu.

"What's up?" Kari tilted her head to the side.

"Nothing...just reading the menu," Kouichi tensely said.

"Oh," Kari picked up her menu.

"Did you find something you like?" Kouichi nervously asked.

"There's nothing but salads and tuna sandwiches here. I hate tuna fish," Kari frowned.

"We don't have to eat here. I think I saw a street fair a couple of blocks away," Kouichi said.

"That sounds like a good idea," Kari smiled. "But we should probably order something here too. I'd feel bad if we just left without getting something."

"Wouldn't that be a waste?" Kouichi asked.

"No. I'll get a hot chocolate to go," Kari said.

_*plunk*_

"What the heck?" Kouichi covered his eye.

"Are you okay?" Kari rushed over to Kouichi and lightly lowered his hand to see his eye.

"I'm fine...just a little surprised. Call me crazy, but I think someone aimed a spitball at me," Kouichi said.

"Ugh, sometimes people disgust me," Kari looked around the cafe, hoping to find any incriminating people.

"It's okay. It could have happened to anyone, right?" Kouichi shrugged.

* * *

"Can we have two tables for two?" Davis walked up to the hostess.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to get two separate tables for two people?" the hostess asked.

"Yep," TK said.

"We do have tables for four," the hostess said.

"No, we want two tables for two. You see, two of our friends are planning to spend their lunch here, so we want to make sure they have a table. Then we want a separate table for me and him," TK put his arm on Davis's shoulder.

"Okay, there's two free tables by the window," the hostess said.

"Do you have any tables that are farther apart from each other?" Davis asked.

"Are you guys trying to be funny?" the hostess pressed her lips together.

"No! It's not like that at all! It's just that we set our friends up on a secret date, and we just want to spy on them. Is that too much to ask?" TK asked.

"Oh, why didn't you say so? I can make some arrangements for you! I'll give your friends the table by the window, and you guys can sit right here," the hostess led the boys to the back of the restaurant. "I sit here all the time when I wanna spy on my ex's dates! He always picks that table, so predictable... Anyways, you guys should have a good view without them seeing you."

"Thanks miss," Davis sat down.

"Oh, by the way, our friends are Kari and Kouichi. Kari has short, brown hair and Kouichi has messy-ish dark blue hair," TK said.

"Got it," the hostess said and walked away.

"I can't believe you convinced me to put this wig on again," TK sighed.

"What can I say? You're gorgeous! Did you borrow that sweater from Mimi? It looks exceptional on you, Miss Berlin," Davis winked.

"Actually, it's Matt's. He makes fun of me for acting like a queer, and he has the girly clothes," TK adjusted his scarf.

"Shhh, they're here!" Davis slapped TK's hand. He pulled out a View-Master toy and looked through it.

"That's not conspicuous at all," TK sarcastically said.

"Right? I spent weeks trying to disguise these binoculars into a toy. Now everyone will think I'm just looking at cartoon stills!" Davis proudly said.

"Or everyone will think you're nuts," TK said.

"Whoa buddy! Are you okay?" Davis put his View-Master down.

"I'm fine," TK pressed his lips together. "I guess I'm just cranky because I'm wearing this wig. It's itchy and it brings back awful memories."

"Look, they're here...," Davis looked through his toy and clicked the button on top. "Ugh, look at them talking and being all romantic-like! _Look at me, I'm Kouichi and I read menus with Kari because I like her, ooooh!_"

"Davis?" TK looked at him with worried eyes.

"Stupid kid. Just when you think he's cool, he goes around and steals your girlfriend behind your back," Davis grumbled.

"Kari's not your girlfriend," TK reminded Davis.

"Maybe she would have been if Kouichi wasn't in the way," Davis pouted.

"Why don't you just accept the fact that Kari's not interested in you? After all of these years, she still doesn't want to go out with you. No matter what, you can't just force someone to fall in love with you," TK said.

"Oh yeah?" Davis got up from his seat and walked over to TK. He moved TK's face close to his and said, "I command you to fall in love with me!"

"That's not how it works...," TK shooed Davis's hands away.

"Shhh, shhh! Do you think they're on to us? They're looking around the restaurant," Davis went back to spying on Kari and Kouichi.

"I don't care," TK said.

"That's it, I have to do something about this!" Davis ripped the wrapper off of his straw and put it in his mouth.

"That's attractive," TK blandly said.

_*phooey*_ Davis launched a spitball in Kouichi's direction.

"Davis, what the hell?!" TK whisper-yelled.

"_What the heck?_"

"_Are you okay?_"

"Great! I just brought them closer together! Stupid Kouichi! Why couldn't she ever do that with me? Look at how Kari's touching his face," Davis whined.

"And look at how I'm leaving. I'm done here," TK abruptly got up from his seat.

"Where are you going?" Davis asked.

"I'm going back to the cabin. If you want to keep making yourself miserable and stalk Kari and Kouichi, then be my guest, but I'm through!" TK said.

"What? You're just jealous of me! You know that Kari can't resist me! It'll only be a matter of time!" Davis smirked.

"Ha! I'm not jealous of _you_," TK said in a snarky tone.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean? Don't you walk away from me!" Davis yelled after him.

"Bye," TK coldly said.

* * *

"Hmmm...," Sora blankly stared at the skating rink from the bleachers.

"Figured I'd find you here," Tai plopped down next to her.

"Hey," Sora mumbled.

"What's up? Why aren't you skating with Matt and Mimi?" Tai noticed that Sora had tied her skates together and hanging from her neck.

"Three's a crowd," Sora murmured.

"What are you talking about? Did they say that they didn't want you skating with them?" Tai glanced down at the rink.

"No, but it was implied," Sora frowned.

"How?" Tai asked.

"Look at them. It's like they're in their own little world," Sora whined.

"Whoa...hee hee," Mimi shakily giggled.

"It's okay, I got you," Matt skated in front of Mimi and held her hands.

"Even so, why would that make you upset? You like Matt or something?" Tai bit his lip.

"I hate the number three," Sora said.

"..." Tai wanted to scold Sora for trying to change the subject, but he decided to restrain himself. She was already upset, and he didn't want her to have a reason to take it out on him.

"You know that song about one being the loneliest number? Well, three can be just as bad, if not worse. You see, if you're all by yourself, no one is there to make you feel bad. Now, when there's three people, one of them is bound to be left out. If there's anything worse than being alone, it's being alone with people around. It's not fun watching people laugh and have a good time when you're being ignored," Sora said.

"Okay...," Tai rested his chin on his fist.

"Am I pretty?"

"Wha...?" Tai gaped at Sora. "Is this a trick question?"

"I guess you're right. I'm not pretty," Sora sighed.

"What? God no! You're beautiful! I mean-I see you like a friend, but...gah! The main thing is that you're attractive-errr...I mean any guy would be stupid to think you're not pretty!" Tai turned red.

"You think?" Sora looked at him.

"Of course!" Tai awkwardly grinned.

"Then why don't boys flirt with me like they do with Mimi? Look, even the Ouran boys are crazy about her," Sora whined.

"Hello there, princess!" Tamaki skated loops around Mimi.

"Back off, she's mine!" Matt wrapped his arms around Mimi's waist.

"Boys, boys, boys! When are you going to learn how to share?" Mimi giggled.

"Ugh, why don't they fight over me?" Sora sighed.

"Because you can be intimidating," Tai shrugged.

"What do you mean intimidating?!" Sora yelled.

"Like now...I'm just telling you an honest opinion and you almost ripped my head off," Tai nervously said.

"Are you saying that I scare all the boys away?" Sora quietly said.

"Not in that sense! Boys are scared of you not just because you're attractive, but also because you're independent, smart and you can defend yourself. There aren't a lot of girls like that anymore. Sure, Mimi's pretty, but there's not much else to her. She's just an airhead, and that's why she has so many guys after her. A lot of guys want to feel masculine, so they go after the girls who always need help," Tai said.

"So in order to have guys like me, I should start acting like Mimi?" Sora asked.

"Dear god, please don't do that! You don't want to attract those type of guys anyways. Just think of it this way: only guys who are secure in themselves will have the courage to go after you. You deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect and takes you seriously," Tai said.

"Thanks, Tai. You're a good friend," Sora smiled.

"Yeah. Friend," it was Tai's turn to stare down at the skating arena.

"Hey," Haruhi walked up to Tai and Sora.

"..." Tai scowled at her.

"Don't worry, I come in peace," Haruhi held her hands up in front of her, as if she were surrendering.

"Hi Haruhi, what brings you up here?" Sora said.

"Just wanted to escape the boys, but that never works out. I'm just hoping that now I willingly decided to stay within their sight, that they'll leave me alone," Haruhi sighed.

"Please, don't try relating to us 'commoners'. You're just as snobby as your friends, so don't act like you're one of us," Tai said.

"Hey! If you didn't know any better, I am one of you," Haruhi sharply said.

"Then how did you end up at Snot Prep School Academy?" Tai raised an eyebrow.

"Because I'm on scholarship. As long as I keep my grades up, I'll be able to stay at the school. I plan to be a lawyer one day, and graduating from Ouran will definitely help my chances of getting into a prestigious law school," Haruhi said.

"Oh...," Tai uncomfortably tugged at his hair. "I'm sorry I jumped on you like that. It's just that your friends are jerks, so I assumed that-"

"You ever hear that expression 'You are who your friends are'?" Haruhi interrupted Tai.

"Yeah...," Tai said.

"Well, it's not true. If you take a look at your friends, I bet you're not the same as them. Just because you're friends with Matt doesn't mean you're an aspiring rock musician too, so you really shouldn't be judging me because my friends happen to be rich and a bit careless," Haruhi said.

"You're right and I'm really sorry. I shouldn't be lashing out on you, especially when you didn't do anything to me," Tai said.

"It's okay," Haruhi smiled. "Are you guys going to skate?"

"Nah, I'm gonna just stay here. My ankle's sore, so I don't think it's a good idea to stress it," Sora said.

"That bites," Haruhi said.

"I'm gonna see how Izzy's doing," Tai said.

"I don't think you wanna do that. He's been on his computer all day," Sora warned.

"What's new about that?" Tai asked.

"He's pretty pissed. I heard him grumbling about TK and Davis fooling around with his phone, so he's gone mad trying to fix it," Sora said.

"Still? Wow," Tai shook his head. "I'll catch you guys later."

"Bye," Haruhi waved.

"Do you ever get tired of your friends fawning over girls?" Sora asked.

"Sometimes it does get annoying, but it's like what can you do?" Haruhi shrugged. "If it makes you feel better, it's all just meaningless banter. After a while, it all just becomes second nature to those guys. They always flirt with the girls back at the host club, but it's all fake. If you think about it, these girls pay for boys to feed them false compliments and make them feel good about themselves. I'm not saying the host club is bad; I'm glad that they boost people's self-esteem, but I just wish they went about it in another way. I guess what I'm really annoyed about is how needy a lot of girls are. They always want to be told how pretty they are and they measure their self-worth by the number of boys they can attract. Sometimes I feel like the only girl who doesn't care about that, but I can tell that you have your head on straight too."

"Yeah," Sora nodded as she watched the skating rink.

* * *

"Here, try some," Kari held a shish kabob up.

"Thanks," Kouichi awkwardly reached for the stick and ripped a piece of meat off. "Pretty good. Want some of my ice cream?"

"Mint chocolate chip, my favorite!" Kari licked some ice cream off of the cone.

"Whoops! Sorry," a man bumped into Kari.

"Excuse me!"

"Move out of my way!" a bratty child shoved Kouichi.

"Whoa!" Kouichi accidentally dropped his ice cream.

"Ahhh! Look what you did!" a girl shrieked.

"I-I-I'm sorry," Kouichi stammered.

"It was an accident! He didn't mean to do it. Let's get out of here," Kari said. "Kouichi! Where are you?"

"Kari? I'm over here!" Kouichi tried to make his way through the crowd.

"I got you," Kari grabbed for his hand and pulled him out of the growing cluster of people.

"Maybe we should do something else. There's too many people here," Kouichi said.

"Yeah. I wouldn't want us to lose each other," Kari said.

"Uh...so what should we do now?" Kouichi asked.

"The next thing on Mimi's list is a movie," Kari said.

"Okay, let's see what's playing," Kouichi held Kari's hand and led her to the movie theater.

"Romance in Rome or Clandestine Underground. Are those the only two movies playing?" Kari looked at the movie list.

"Yep. Small theater," the guy at the box office said.

"Do you wanna see any of these?" Kouichi asked.

"Knowing Mimi, she would have dragged us into the romance movie. Why don't we see Clandestine Underground?" Kari suggested.

"Okay," Kouichi said.

"Alright, here you go. It's theater number five," the box office kid slid two tickets down the counter.

"If you guys have at least five theaters, then why do you only show two movies?" Kari asked.

"It's weird, isn't it? You know what's weirder? This is the most amount of movies we're playing at the same time," the guy at box office said.

"That is weird," Kari made a face. "Okay, let's get inside. I don't want to miss the previews!" Kari pulled Kouichi's hand. "Kouichi? Are you okay?"

"Uh, it's nothing...," Kouichi said as he stared longingly at the orangeade stand across the street.

* * *

_*slam*_

"Who's there?" TK called out.

"Just me," Tai called out. He hung his jacket up on the coat rack and sat down in the couch across from TK. "What's up? It looks like something's bothering you."

"You can tell?" TK looked up from his book.

"You know you can always talk to me about anything, okay? I'm not pressuring you at all, I'm just saying if you want to talk, I'm here for you," Tai said.

"I need to get this off of my chest," TK exhaled. "I like a friend, but I don't want to say anything because I'm scared. I'm scared that I might ruin our friendship."

"You're not talking about Kari, are you? I mean I can trust you with her, but-why can't my baby sister just start dating when she's twenty? If I had the choice, I'd lock her in a tower until she's old enough to-"

"Tai. It's not her," TK interrupted.

"Oh, thank god! Then who is it? Yolei?"

"No! Look, it doesn't matter. I just don't know what to do. The longer I hold it in, the more I just want to scream. I really want to say something, but I'm just not ready. I took some kissing lessons with Mimi, but after a couple of sessions, she said that I didn't need her help anymore."

"Mimi?" Tai gave TK a skeptical look.

"Yeah. I just wanted to make sure that if the time comes, I can do it right," TK said.

"Do it right?" Tai smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it's embarrassing," TK blushed.

"No, it's not. I've been in your place before. At least you had the courage to talk about it to someone else, and that's half the battle. Now, the only hard part left is deciding whether you're going to come out to Mimi or not," Tai said.

"Yeah...," TK rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'm figuring that you weren't talking about Mimi. If you like Kari, that's okay. I won't be mad at you for it. I'd rather her go out with you than with Davis, blech...," Tai made a face.

"Come on, Davis isn't that bad," TK said.

"No, but he's over-the-top and I don't think he's a good match for her in general. I think Yolei would be a better fit for Davis, They have good chemistry, don't you think?" Tai asked.

"Sure...," TK said.

* * *

"Ugh, look at them! Sharing food together and being all lovey-dovey and adorable. Next thing you know, they're gonna get married and have five kids and vacation in Hawaii every year. Ugh," Davis sneered. "Where are they going now?"

"_Coming through!_"

"_Passing by!_"

"_Excuse me!_"

"Ugh, what's with all of these people?" Davis tried to squeeze his way between a couple of people. He pulled out his View-Master and looked through it. "Aha! The movie theatre!"

"_Okay, let's get inside. I don't want to miss the previews!_"

"Hey, what are you doing?" the box office guy moved his head around to see Davis crouching behind the stand.

"Uh, hi!" Davis stood up straight. "Which movie are those guys watching?"

"I think the Romance in Rome? They look like a cute couple," the box office guy said.

"Then I'll watch it too! Give me a ticket," Davis slid some money across the counter.

"Just one ticket? That's kinda creepy watching a chick flick by yourself," the box office guy remarked.

"I want two tickets, of course! I've got a date with a hot broad. Yeah," Davis awkwardly said.

"You only gave me enough money for one ticket."

"Oh, my bad! Here," Davis gave the box office guy more money.

"Alright, two tickets to Romance in Rome. Enjoy the show."

"Thanks," Davis walked inside the movie theater lobby. "I can't believe I bought two tickets! This is stupid! Hey you! Trade me for your popcorn!" he yelled at a random guy.

"But I already eat half of it," the guy said.

"Come on, please?" Davis begged.

"Depends. What movie is that for?"

"Romance in Rome," Davis said.

"Oh, thank god! I've been dying to see that movie, but I was too ashamed to buy a ticket. You can have my popcorn!" the guy took Davis's ticket and handed him the popcorn bucket.

"Awesome...," Davis shoved some popcorn in his mouth and entered the theatre room.

"_Once upon a time, there was a girl who fell in love with a boy..._"

"I don't see those guys anywhere...what if they're doing it? In public of all places? Those disgusting people!" Davis whispered. He walked all around the empty room but he couldn't find Kari and Kouichi in sight. "Okay, if they're not here...they must be doing it in the bathroom!" he burst into the men's room.

"What the fu-?!"

"Koji! What are you doing here?" Davis asked.

"Peeing...," Koji made a face.

"Did you see Kari and Kouichi around here?" Davis asked.

"Yeah. They're in theatre room five," Koji said.

"Awesome, thanks!" Davis dashed out of the bathroom. He silently snuck into the theatre room and sat in the back row.

"So you're stalking them? No surprise."

"Koji?" Davis jumped.

"Hey, I won't tell if you won't tell," Koji said.

"Why are you following them?" Davis asked.

"I'm just watching out for my brother. This is the first time in a long time that he's been hanging out with other people without me by his side," Koji grabbed some popcorn from Davis's bucket.

"Heeeey," Davis whined.

"What? It's an unlimited bucket. You can always get more," Koji said as he continued to eat popcorn.

"Is she seriously resting her head on his shoulder? That bastard!" Davis snatched the bucket from Koji and threw it at Kouichi's head.

_*plunk*_

"What was that?" Kari gasped.

"Someone just threw a popcorn bucket at my head," Kouichi looked behind him.

"What the hell was that for?! You're gonna give us away!" Koji hissed.

"Your brother's stealing my girlfriend!" Davis loudly whispered.

"Where's your girlfriend? I don't see her anywhere," Koji smirked.

"Kari's my girlfriend!" Davis yelled.

"Davis?"

"Koji?"

"Hey guys...," Davis nervously laughed.

"Were you following us?" Kouichi asked.

"No. You see, me and Koji decided to have a non-gay date together, right?" Davis asked.

"What?!" Koji grimaced.

"I can't believe you, Davis! Actually, I _can_ believe you! I'm out of here!" Kari slapped Davis in the face.

"Kari! Wait!" Davis cried.

"Leave me alone!" Kari stomped off.

"I can't believe you. Especially you, Koji. I'm gonna go. I need some space," Kouichi softly said and left.

"You idiot! Look what you did! You screwed everything up!" Koji punched Davis in the arm and walked away.

"Yeah. I did," Davis sighed.

* * *

"Hey guys! How was your date?" Mimi grinned.

"Date?" Kari and Kouichi looked confused.

"That's right! I set you two up!" Mimi said.

"You mean today? When all of us made plans to hang out?" Sora asked.

"Yeah! I knew Izzy wasn't going to come, and I was hoping that you didn't go even though I invited you. I even hid all of your jackets, just to make sure you didn't tag along!" Mimi smiled.

"So you orchestrated this whole thing, knowing that it would only be the two of them?" Tai asked.

"Pretty clever, right?" Mimi grinned.

"No! I was stressed out the whole day because of your little matchmaking!" Tai yelled.

"Tai! I'm a big girl now. Even Mom and Dad are less overbearing than you," Kari said.

"If it makes you feel better, we cut the date short," Kouichi said.

"Why? Did you two not like each other's company?" Mimi put her hands on her hips.

"No! We had a great time, until we caught Davis and Koji following us," Kari said.

"Actually...I sorta asked Davis to do it, but I didn't know Koji was following you too," Tai bit his lip.

"What?" Kari blinked.

"I just wanted to make sure you'd be okay, so I sent Davis to be my spy. I also asked TK to spy on Davis so that he didn't get carried away, but obviously-"

"Oh no...," Kari looked crestfallen.

"What happened?" Sora asked.

"I have to go find Davis," Kari gasped. She quickly put on her coat and ran out of the cabin.

_*bang bang bang*_

"Ugh...," Izzy banged his head against the table.

"Izzy, what's wrong?" Kari asked.

"My stupid phone is broken beyond repair, thanks to Davis and TK," Izzy groaned.

"It looks fine to me! Let me call you," Mimi pulled out her phone.

"Please don't do that!" Izzy pleaded.

"_Stepped up in the party like my name was 'that bitch', all these haters mad because I'm so established, __they know I'm a beast, yeah, I'm a fucking savage, haters __you can kill yourself..."_

"I'm sorry, but that's funny!" Kari cracked, which caused everyone, except for Izzy, to laugh.

"This isn't funny!" Izzy groaned.

"Hey, why doesn't everyone take turns calling Izzy?" Matt suggested.

"Good idea! I'll go first!" Sora said.

"I hate you! I hate you all!" Izzy moaned.

"_Stepped up in the party like my name was 'that bitch'__..."_

* * *

_*knock knock knock*_

"Coming," TK put his book down and got the door. "Kari?"

"Is Davis here?"

"No. I haven't seen him all day. Why?"

"I just really need to talk to him. I really screwed up. Do you have any idea where he could be?" Kari looked at TK with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry, no," TK shook his head.

"Thanks. I should get going now," Kari dashed away.

"No problem," TK mumbled. "If only I were the focus of your heart," he leaned against the door and slid down to the floor.

* * *

_Earlier that morning..._

"Why are you getting so dressed up?" Koji sneered.

"I'm not dressed up," Kouichi awkwardly looked down at his outfit.

"Is that the same outfit Mimi put you in when she decided to make over the host club?" Koji had an amused look on his face.

"No...I'm not wearing the bow tie or the glasses," Kouichi sheepishly said. "What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"No reason," Koji smirked.

"Well, what are you doing? You're not doing anything normal either," Kouichi said.

"Just doing some modifications," Koji carefully disassembled an iPhone.

"Where'd you get that? That's not your phone!" Kouichi exclaimed.

"Don't worry about it. Just go on your outing and act weird," Koji waved Kouichi away.

"Okay," Kouichi shrugged and left the room.

"_Stepped up in the party like my name was 'that bitch', all these haters mad because I'm so established..._"

"Perfect," Koji smirked as he wiped his fingerprints clean off the iPhone.


End file.
